9/17/2022 – Michigan 59, UConn 0 – 3-0 After the opener someone complained in the comments that this bit above the fold was a utilitarian bit of text that didn't tell anyone how to feel. This is a completely fair criticism and also the work of an utter lunatic. It puts the emotional prose on the internet or it gets the hose again, sort of thing. I don't know what emotion to communicate here in the aftermath of a third straight beatdown of Baby Seal U. It was generally pleasant to be out and about in the stadium on a not-too-hot day, watching helpless oompa-loompas grasp fruitlessly at our valiant warrior-poets. All conclusions, thoughts, feelings, and idle thoughts are polluted by the quality of opposition, with a few limited exceptions. It was… fine. Any attempt at a grand conclusion is a stretch. But, lo: it is demanded. So I will stretch. If there's anything to take from this game going forward it's that we might be on the verge of De
9/10/2022 – Michigan 56, Hawaii 10 – 2-0 There's a certain point where you're just unreasonably invested in some guy making a simple throw against a very bad team. JJ McCarthy rolled out on his second drive and had Erick All in the flat. Hawaii's safety was flying up at McCarthy, because McCarthy ran as much as he passed in Michigan's opener. All was open, and all McCarthy had to do was not screw up an easy play. He did not. He flipped the ball out to All, who picked up a first down. Hooray. I mean, what else was left? He'd just thrown a (nearly) in-stride bomb. As soon as he came in against Colorado State he ran for a touchdown, juking a safety along the way. He throws outs on a line, with velocity you can hear. He is a wide array of talents in one package. And so then there's just one thing left: don't be weird. Please, please, please don't be weird. Don't be really good at the hard things and turf every screen. Don't have exactly
9/3/2022 – Michigan 51, Colorado State 7 – 1-0 There's no real way around it, folks: the main talking point coming out a shellacking of a very bad team is who did what at quarterback. I extend a grumble towards the AP for framing a not quite generic enough press conference answer from Cade McNamara like so: McNamara unhappy after No. 8 Michigan beats Colorado St 51-7 One grumble, extended. But also I, like everyone else, was extending grumbles when Michigan's offense did not seem like a well-oiled death machine. Instead it was more or less last year: hiccups, moving the ball between the twenties, red zone difficulties. This is not my beautiful house. McNamara started out the season by not doing the things he's supposed to do better than his competition, like complete basic passes to move the sticks. https://youtu.be/dosqiWJu3g4?t=30 Three of his throws on the first couple drives were inaccurate. Maybe more alarming is that McNamara did not attempt anything down the f
12/4/2021 – Michigan 42, Iowa 3 – 12-1, Big Ten Champions
People just sang.
YOU GOT TO PUMP IT UP.
DONT YOU KNOW?
PUMP IT UP.
YOU GOT TO PUMP IT UP.
DONT YOU KNOW?
PUMP IT UP. pic.twitter.com/e2mWVCPpUT Patrick Barron (@BlueBarronPhoto) December 5, 2021
There are many things that stoke my envy when I consider European soccer. First and foremost is the lack of commercials, naturally. Second on that list is the sort of fan culture that means you've just got a song and that's the song and everyone sings the song. Everyone. Not a fight song, but some weird thing someone latched onto many years ago that became a signifier of in-crowd status and from there became a Tradition. Some colleges have a version of this, but they're pale imitations of the sort of crowd-wide belting going on across the pond. A few people mumbling "Hang On Sloopy," sort of embarrassed they're doing so. Sort of thing.
Not Michigan on Saturday. I had to make a bunch of calculations th
11/27/2021 – Michigan 42, Ohio State 27 – 11-1, 8-1 Big Ten, Big Ten East Champions
The thing that cracked me was the folding chair.
I don't know when this happened, exactly, but it might have been around the same time the turnover chain spawned its infinite variations around the country. There are three guys on the Michigan sideline who maniacally wave around folding chairs at key moments. They must be walk-ons. I can discern no rhyme or reason as to what prompts the chair waving. It does not actually seem connected to turnovers Michigan acquired none in this game. I do not know if it's the same three guys with the chairs or if it's a rotating cast.
But there are chairs, and they are jiggled at high rates of speed on the Michigan sideline, and sometimes they host small gatherings of hype. It feels like a cargo cult. The chairs have dropped from the sky and are venerated because we cannot think of anything better to do with them. Nobody has asked about them yet. Goog