Stephen thats it for report, everybody. Good night. [cheers and applause] captioning sponsored by Comedy Central frm Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. [daily show theme song playing] [cheers and applause] jon hey, everybody, wrel come to the daily show. Welcome the daily show. My name is jon stewart. You may have noticed our brand new show open. [cheers and applause] i think my guest tonight is astro physicist neil. Degrasse tyson. A learned man, a man of the universe. The last time he was on the program, perhaps the time before that, he said during the normal open to the show that the graphics globe was spinning the wrong way. [laughter] well, it took time and a great deal of ingenuity but weve fixed our problem. We have a brand new open and it only cost us 1 million. [ laughter ] i hope he preshz how hard. If he thinks were going to go back to the other open tomorrow, yes [laughter] real quick off the top, today john brennan
Thank you, again, to doug benson. At get tickets to my new spring tour, follow me on twitter, and as a show blog. We will see you next week, before i go, lets take a look back at the best moments from tonights show. Come on, come on, little buddy, you can do this. Youve got this. One more step, and you did it. You did it. Come here. So proud of everything you have done everything. Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight. Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight. Oh, memories, good night, kids. Go read a book. Comedy central frm comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. [daily show theme song playing] [cheers and applause] jon hey, everybody, wrel come to the daily show. Welcome the daily show. My name is jon stewart. You may have noticed our brand new show open. [cheers and applause] i think my guest tonight is astro physicist neil. Degrasse tyson. A learned man, a man of the universe. The last time he was on the progra
Its cause these girls wont sleep with these dudes until they get married, which is fine. Ladies, if you want to reserve your poon, god bless you, okay . [ laughter ] i like 25yearold scotch, so i understand the theory. [ laughter and applause ] if you want to wait for the one, then wait for the one, but you cannot put an obstacle in front of it. You cant say to someone that you got to do this to get this, cause a 20yearold boy virgin is not gonna consider the repercussions of his actions. If you put an obstacle in front of a 20yearold virgin and tell him that sex is on the other side [bleep] is going to get done, okay . So if you wield that kind of power, ladies, perhaps marriage isnt the answer. Maybe you should think about society. Maybe you should think about the rest of us. Maybe you should say, hey, fellas, im not sleeping with anybody till they cure cancer. Itll be two weeks some 20yearold will be like, i got it i got it its right here [ cheers and applause ] it was carrots and m
Well, next week. Follow me on twitter so we can open up a dialog during the prerecorded show and keep up on the one blog that doesnt hate me at tosh Comedy Central dot come and visit our store to get our your Christmas Shopping done in july and brickleberry starts september 25. Theres one for the character i havent introduced you to yet. Do you want to meet him . Yes. Tosh all right. It looks like a classic. And finally a few weeks ago i invented brand new internet challenges and asked you to come up with better ones but of course you did not. Fail. Epic fail. So here the best of the worse. This is a stupid talking to your pet challenge. Starting now im going take the dont leave your house challenge. The random piggyback ride challenge. This is a deep throat popsicle challenge. This is the [indiscernible] [ coughing ] were going to do George Washington challenge taking George Washington and getting it red hot and burning your ass with it. My internet challenge to watch tosh. 0 without
Liz, im so sorry. About what . That, like, your wedding was ruined, and you were pranked in front of, like, National Television. Like, its good karma that you let him be successful at something, even if that was, like, to completely prank you and, like, fool you and, like, call you a beast, and, like, say that it was hilarious, like, make you wear that hat. Yeah. When push comes down to it, like, ill always be here for you because youre my best friend. Im just so happy that, if i had to get pranked on National Television by a professional Football Player for his show, that you were by my side the whole time. Yeah. Im not crazy, right . No, you just got pranked. [slurps] [slurps] do i have anything in my teeth . Youll always be female announcer coming up, its the publizity wedding episode red carpet recap. I came as a joke. Im on shrooms. My hearts beating so fast. I cant believe i ran into you. I want to thank bob rosenstein, the head of the network. I got to say, like, liz and liz, i