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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart January 22, 2015

Winter meeting of Republican Party members. There is a question whether im to embark. Let me state unequivocally i have no intention to run for u. S. Senator of massachusets. Jon boom you you thought he was talking about the president ial election that he lost. He was actually talking about a much smaller senate race that he also lost. See its funny because he always loses. [laughing] jon you know what i kid. I kid. Hes a very accomplished successful man. Whose supporters will stand behind him n...
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COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore February 11, 2015

Larry thank you very much. Welcome to the nightly show. Im larry larry, larry larry wilmore. All right, thank you very much. Youve all heard whats going on with nbc news anchor Brian Williams. Now, a lot of people have accused him of lying. Im not going to go that far but it does appear that somebody has been slowjamming the truth. Nbcs Brian Williams, hes stepping away temporarily from the nbc nightly news desk. He got caught in a lie about being on a helicopter that came under fire in iraq. I ...
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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart January 29, 2015

Breaking. Snowmageddon. Jon like the capricious goddess whose name is beares, wintero storm juneau will turn or nations children into horrific living snowe men whose only known cure is an immediate infusion of soup. laughter but of course no warning of dire weatherrelated emergency would be complete without charismatic sign Language Interpreters vying for the title of best silent mayoral hype man. And in that contest, there was a clear winner. New yorkers should not you want estimate this storm....
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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart January 15, 2015

You do if youre dealing crack. Jon oh, yeah mr. Worldwide of course, not everybodys happy with the judicial ruling. A small group of protesters picketed with signs outside of the clerk of courts office. And at times they directly confronted the gay couples waiting in line. Two men and two women cant get married. Dont you understand that . Its perversion. Its not marriage. Its perverrrrsion jon its a perverrrsion no, a perversion is two giant rats living in sin for 80 years. Sorry if gay marriage...
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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart February 6, 2015

My guest tonight, were very excited my guest tonight a very impressive young man, wes moore, author of a book called the work my search for a life that matters. Very excited to have him on the program tonight. But first, if i may, the 114th United States congress is one month old one month has the new republican control changed the way congress does business . The recipe for making legislative sausage as it were . We examine it in our new segment really . laughter applause can we just im sorry c...
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COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore January 28, 2015

Yes. If you dont get them. Prepare to get vaccinated against boredom this is the the nightly show cheers and applause larry whoo all right cheers and applause oh man thank you much i appreciate it welcome the nightly show im your host larry wilmore. Were going to get right to it tonight. Big story out of the the nightly show disease center. Hospitals on alert for measles as an outbreak of the highly contagious illness continues to appear. A majority of the nearly 80 reported infections are in ca...
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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart January 16, 2015

Im a wristologist laughter i have been doing this show, now, 93 years. Never met a dude wearing bunch of watches who says to me, i just asked you because im a horologist. Come visit us tickets are free. laughter lets get into the program. There are certain things that are forever. Diamonds. Batman. And, at this point, the debate over the keystone xl pipeline. For six years, the debate over the keystone xl pipeline has dominated beltway politics. If its ever built, it will carry tar extracted fro...
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COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore January 27, 2015

Green lit mortdecai . Some people are angry that american sniper doesnt accurately criticize the iraq war. Here, ill do it for you its bad. Should war movies be accurate . I hope not, because those apes freak me the bleep out. Its 27 degrees outside, but were keeping it 100 in here. This is the nightly show. cheers and applause captioning sponsored by Comedy Central larry i cant believe it cant be true thank you very much calm down appreciate it thats right. Im your host larry wilmore. Welcome t...
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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart February 5, 2015

The highly infectious virus has spread to 14 states. The contagen factor in measles is off the chain. laughter jon this just in. Measles is offthechain contagious it likes big lungs it cannot lie cheers and applause i guess what shes trying to say is measles started from the bottom. Now its here. applause obviously, im not a doctor. Pardon my ignorance. But what does the medical establish mean by off the chain contagious . If i had measles, walked in, walked out and you walked in the room two ho...
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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart February 6, 2015

Rootroute to the road to the white house. The invisible primer is a time for intense jockeying intense speechmaking fundraising. And a all important deep thinking policy research that this country needs will soon prove the future of itsd fundraising. Its likely about the fund raising they need a lot of money. Since the presidency in 2016 been app open seat assuming the tyrant obama doesnt declare himself sun king laughter damn, you, feckless tyrant, muslimchristian, dictator pussy laughter weve ...
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