people had maps. and everybody had stories. and there was the train line that went through greece, and it took you over the border and you could jump off. and that was like the you take the midnight express. you take the escape train. you know, you talk about it. but there is a huge abyss of pain and fear between talking about it and trying it. but that s really all i thought about for years. i had been in jail for like a year and a half now. i was desperate to escape from prison. one of the things i learned about was bakirkoy mental hospital. under turkish law, if you get classified criminally insane, they keep you in this hospital. but i heard from all the prison scuttlebutt that it is a much easier place to escape from. that wasn t the hard part. the hard part was when you get out of it, what do you do then. you need someone on the outside. and that s where my friend patrick was going to be part and parcel of this escape plan.
he got himself involved with people from the underground getting false papers that somehow knew he had money. if i hadn t gotten in jail, if i hadn t done what i d done, patrick would still be alive. it was probably the lowest point of prison for me. my parents are suffering because of me. now my friend is dead because of me. it cracked me. but what it also did was, it turned that escape switch off. i got sent back to the sagmalcilar prison. i realized i still had whatever it was, another year and a half, two years. and i just i sort of settled into the fact that, okay, i guess i need to spend the rest
i had no idea what was going to happen to me. none. i have no idea how long i m going to be here. i don t know when i m going to get out of here, if ever. what i wanted to do was just curl up in a little ball somewhere and cry, because i was so tired and i was so emotionally drained that i wanted someone to take care of me. he put me in this cell. and it was a bare bunk, and it didn t have blankets and things on it. and it s cold, like steel and stone. there s no heat. i said something to him about, you know, is there a blanket or something? he said, no. sleep. go to sleep. go to sleep, and clangs the door shut. i could see him fumbling around with a key, but he didn t really lock the door. and off he went.
wanted to come, but he said, your mother wanted to come, but i didn t think it was a good idea. and it wasn t. i m so glad she didn t come. it would have killed her to see me there. i finally received a four year and two month prison sentence. and that, to me, seemed a lifetime away. i was 23 when i was arrested. four years in prison? that s you know, that s a sixth of your life. but there is a question of escape. scott: hello!
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