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no, it meant like dumping dum people. but it, i ping , i actually nevr dumped by i've gotten dumped. yeah. i'ved anybodn dumpedy but-- i'm not telling you. well how about a shot question. who in shoplift didn't shoplift seriously. that was such a chick crime. >> yeah.bah rh baratz. >> okay, good. we havfor jie time for jim . i help john wayne gacy pick outw this clown costume. t his cl thank you. thank you for taking this. even lower than one could possibly take it. so proud of himself.t yeah. or made me happy.e coul >>d make you happy.he he could have said he made it on a sewing machine. that's a step lower.te >>ere you go . manifest that. >> i know you can't say you're'h an a.g.. >>m a hardar o pass on this one. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. oh, i mean, like, listen, we its amerbeen said that every american commits about abo three felonies a dayut. really.really >>, yeah. i mean we have over in a, muiminalized much of of life.
and burn myself in front ofin the live audience. >>nt o but discuss thing anyway. we couldn't get the requiredinst permits in time, sead,o insteado we're going to try somethingen a else that's also never beennt. attempted before on tv. yeah, a viewer mail segment. it puts the mail in mailing it in. in." just came up with that. cam god , i love language, jim . you know, it's like it's like weaving a sweater. you know, you can come take wor one word here. you put it oved thr there and tl all of a sudden i should shut up. oh, no, this one's from instagram proof coconut's right., that's interesting. >> how do you all deal with the mystery of life and death? so i have to go with the expert on that cat. how do you deal withwith t the mystery of life and death?ys teryit's so easy.
choking out a giraffe. i don't know what that what you know. someknow what a giraffe does. >> just sounds like something from urban dictionary. >> jim jim carrey. >> what sound bothers you. so my husband's chewing. >> h >> oh he's . i yeah, he's got to do it out only when it's we're just home., oh, us .tarted and it's or keith heard it. yeah. eith. you guys all know keith.,. >> yeah. keith, wait. eats wi soth his m eats with his mouth we just i can't describe it.t it's just like a chew. i shouldn't hear it at all.t ev no you shouldn't. you know. but then everything about me says you disgusting like i'm a slob as a person.s a pe >> don't have a leg to stand on . yeah. eg oh often i hate to sound neighbors working out, youabove know, when you hear them above you. >> oh, i like that.i i like that at all. all they i'm assuming working out until you have a neighbor out,
if you this off, she'll bake you into a green bean casserole. hit business anchor jagan mcdow ,his act is unsuitable fornd children and grown ups. co- to comedian and co-host ofhost the jim norton and sam robert jadwat, sirius xm r jim nortonon siriu and finally, she's still sleepy from allthat that turkey she drank. had to get. >> all right. so before we get to some news stories, it's friday. >> so you know what?s time that's time for greg's leftovers from. leftove yeah, it's time once again for t leftovers. it's where i read the jokehes wi didn't use this weekrs. and as always, it's my first time reading these. >> so don't blame me if they .
nicknames. yo course, you've got the obvious, like ron desantis, governor of floridgoa, former ambassador to the un , nikki haley, former vp mike pence, you can just keep going further down. >> the list also includeseo. former secretary of state mike pompeo and virginia governor glenn youngin and our favorite maryland governor larry hogan. >>maryland oh, also texas senatd cruz forgot him. ere' wo so there are six men and one women. wow. man just like a typical college women's swim team. jim , i hope you had a great thanksgiving. >> oh, greg, i'm still stuffed tu with turkey. ohrk, i bet. >> i bet you make a sandwich ina
a pawn shop. >> i know you don't remember the three average per day includes is ten a day. >> s threeo drew lerman asks, wr keeps you home. >> all jim , what keeps you humble? the mirror mat? >> what keeps you humble? internet trolls. >> yeah, that's pretty good.t that's pretty good. >> how about you dagen my dad.d? yeah, yeah, yeah. i even if i don't call them,acef i'll get a text message. >> why was your face puffy this morning? were you drinking last night? i get that a lot, but not from your dad. . yet. >> uh, like i just like, you know. >> do you just hate yourself atu night when you try to sleep?at not just me.ght when to go. you know what you are? you are you do what you do peopl
but maybe we're not as at oddsps with each other as the press wants us to believe. the survey was believe conducted to mark national philanthropic philanthropic day, which i guess was november 15 . i was too busy rolling aroundo in my room filled with gold r coins, a joke. i was evicting that couple ini a their foster kids. matt , did you celebrate this day? >> so this jush ist proves my p ,which is surveys.bl >> i mean, every us . do you want to get along with people? oh, yeah. i want to get alon g the with people. it's not what i see every day out on the street. and sot pr it's just proves that people lie to pollsters. but yeah, we've learned that len evero yey two years now for the last six elections. >> that is so true. so thio s is another garbage poll. >> i guess we should just go to break. jim . jim , for the poll.yone w jim , haveho you ever spoken
some urgency to life in a a capsule. >>pp youre y couldou actually appreciate what you have. you could not live in eternity because you never leave your house. think about this, jim .m. if you could live forever, you u would never leave for fear ofr an accident. that's a great point.e fon ac yes. because you woulcident. d die in accident. and if never go , i can't believe i could have lived forever. an accideyou have no diseases. that means you can't play anyu l sports , no sports , becausedny you might like your play, butayo don't play football. tbthat guy.be wit >>ho no, no. what would life be withoutor football? wow. so you the mean for the rest of eternity i'd just be home int he my house on my computer watching. >> a hugn e switchmy. itch. >> that's exactly what it would be like. it wouldit's great. >> i know.>> gutfe dagi do you have any insight,e n wisdom from your southernsout heritage? like when wehe werrne young, deh was nothing more than no. >> funerals are pretty fun. no, no. okay in the south.in yeah. south i think about death every day because when i walk out of i cod
the morning. yeah, i did. i had, like, lefto a little lefs this morning. s really nice.my grandmo my grandmother died on thanksgiving. ving. that was it.ing? this thanksgiving. yeah. yeah. yesterda>> yy. table o >> oh, wow. wow.>> y that's a shame.ea that's a shame. right at the table. aw yeah. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> it was a political argument. yeah. well that's me too. oh. >> so, you know, most people don't know this about you, jim , but yo u are a mega donor and yes i am of . >> yeah. and you don't you don't even go to the bank, you know, whata. >>e your sources telling you about twenty , twenty four .g yr >> who are you putting your money behind. i'll i'l be honest. is i think what's going to happengo is biden's going to win reelection because they're notp going to nominate trump. they're going to nominate i think ron desantis is going to get and then trump's going to go independent and it's going to ross perot, the wholeo thing, and biden's going to win . >> that's what i think'sbide goi to happen. do you think do you thin woulump would do that? y >>ou do you think he would do that? yep. yeahd do t, i would if i were h.