From hollywood, its Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight. Terry bradshaw and howie long. Ronnie chan and Rashad Jennings. Plus, music from brothers osborne with cleto and the cletones. And now, jimmy kimmel jimmy, im the host of this show. Thank you for watching at home. And thanks for joining us. Please relax. I got to tell you, its not a great night to be in a crowd. Were getting hit pretty hard by covid here at the show. Three of the five members of our band, the cletones, are out sick tonight. We and i said it once, ive said it a hundred times. You shouldnt be sharing one trombone. You should each have your own. Our bandleader cleto, our drummer jonathan, our bass player, ronda, are all out with covid. I guess what, you guys werent invited to the orgy or what . The great jimmy earl and Kevin Stevens are filling in. Welcome back, jimmy. How are you . We say hello to the paxlovid five, everybody, and. I also would like welcome those of you who are still conscious after the monday night Football
Valentines day wasnt the sex romp you mathimagine it to be. Maybe the romp is about to begin, in maybe some sax for the love birds. Oh, yeah. Thats good. Thats very good. Youre doingmoment. Go back to your spot thats not valentines day is a weird holiday. Im convinced it does more we have instagram the whole world can resent you. For romance, also a great time to steal teddy bears. This happened in phoenix, couple teens snatched two over sized bears. Might be surprised to hear they didnt plan this out very well. Was not an oceans 11 caper they got a visit from a giant man who came to retrieve the bears. Look at this guy. Heres the thing theres always three bears. See that. When papa bear showed up. Well wisely these guys to surrender the merchandise. And off they went. I love the fact they were willing to steal parts not to run a red light. No valentines day no religious holiday would be co from t host of the mayut he taught me something about what women of today really want this year.
Valentines day wasnt the sex romp you imagined it might be. [ laughter ] or maybe the romp is about to begin. I dont know. Is it about to begin . [ laughter ] go ahead, dont mind me. Just relax. Pretend im not here. Thats right. Cleto, maybe a little saxophone for the lovebirds. Oh, yeah. Thats good. Thats very good. Youre doing guillermo yeah, thats so good. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you ruined it. You ruined the moment. Go back to your spot, thats not valentines day is a weird holiday. Im convinced it does more harm than good. It used to be if youre a woman you get flowers at work and the whole office resents you. Now we have instagram, the whole world resents you. If your dinner reservation is before 6 00 or after 9 00, they did not. Not only is valentines time for romance, its also a great time to steal teddy bears. This happened on friday in phoenix. You see a couple of teenagers decided to jump out of their car and snatch two oversized bears. And you might be surprised to hea
Valentines day wasnt the sex romp you imagined it might be. [ laughter ] or maybe the romp is about to begin. I dont know. Is it about to begin . [ laughter ] go ahead, dont mind me. Just relax. Pretend im not here. Thats right. Cleto, maybe a little saxophone for the lovebirds. Oh, yeah. Thats good. Thats very good. Youre doing guillermo yeah, thats so good. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you ruined it. You ruined the moment. Go back to your spot, thats not valentines day is a weird holiday. Im convinced it does more harm than good. It used to be if youre a woman you get flowers at work and the whole office resents you. Now we have instagram, the whole world resents you. If your dinner reservation is before 6 00 or after 9 00, they did not. Not only is valentines time for romance, its also a great time to steal teddy bears. This happened on friday in phoenix. You see a couple of teenagers decided to jump out of their car and snatch two oversized bears. And you might be surprised to hea
Watching our show on tv right now im going to guess your valentines day wasnt the sex romp you maimagine it to be. Maybe the romp is about to begin, in fact is it about to begin. Go ahead, dont remind me. Just relax. Pretend im not here. Thats right. Maybe some sax for the love birds. Oh, yeah. Thats good. Thats very good. Youre doing yeah thats so good. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you ruined the moment. Go back to your spot thats not valentines day is a weird holiday. Im convinced it does more harm than good. Used to be you get flowers and the office recents you now we have instagram the whole world can resent you. If not only is valentines time for romance, also a great time to steal teddy bears. This happened in phoenix, couple teens snatched two over sized bears. Might be surprised to hear they didnt plan this out very well. Was not an oceans 11 caper they got a visit from a giant man who came to retrieve the bears. Look at this guy. Heres the thing theres always three bears. See