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I have two fourth graders who have been in virtual learning since last spring. My daughter has excelled; she has a really engaged teacher who is on top of her technology and has been able to manage her students online well (relatively speaking). My son has been struggling. His teacher has trouble with the technology, and she doesn’t engage her students. My son has an IEP, which includes PT/OT/speech, as well as reading intervention and designated paraprofessional minutes each day. He also has been diagnosed with ADD but is unmedicated. He has always tested below grade level in all of his subjects, and he is generally a kind, well-behaved young man. There is no doubt that virtual learning is not the best fit for him however, due to preexisting health conditions in family members he won’t be returning to school for the foreseeable future.
Dear Care and Feeding,
I’m a mother to a 9½-year-old daughter. She’s thoroughly inquisitive and wants details about how babies come to be. She knows about vaginas and penises. She understands periods. She understands puberty. But I’m not sure if she’s old enough or mature enough to know about sex. She still believes in Santa Claus! My mother insists I should tell her. But I don’t think so. She’s an only child and I’m not sure she’s ready for that type of knowledge. How or when will I know if she’s ready?
Dear Care and Feeding,
My kindergartner, “James,” has gotten off to a wonderful start at his new school. His teachers have praised his academic work and said he’s a good friend. He tells my husband and I every day that he plays with “Sam” and “Ben,” two other boys in his class. When I started asking him about what they play, he described a pirate game. I was not delighted when he told me that in the game, he and Sam are the pirates and Ben, the only Black student in their class, is their dog named Oreo! Eek! I didn’t want to make a big deal of it, so I just asked if Ben was OK with his role in the game and moved on. But I can’t stop wondering if I should have said or done something more. I’m sure this game is completely innocent and there isn’t any racial motivation behind Ben’s role and name, but I can’t stop questioning if I need to intervene, or at least suggest they pick a new name for their pirate dog.
Dear Care and Feeding,
I need some advice about COVID and blended families with custody agreements. I hope this isn’t too confusing and that you can help us. House 1 and House 2 share Kid 1. House 2 and House 3 share Kid 2. House 2 has primary custody of Kid 1 and Kid 2. Kid 1 and Kid 2 are doing remote learning at an attendance-limited day camp because the parents in House 2 are health care workers. The parent in House 3 is in law enforcement. Kid 1 switches between House 1 and House 2 every two weeks. Kid 2 is at House 3 on holidays, school breaks, and some weekends. House 1 and House 3 have never met.