Transcripts For 1TV PODKAST 20240703 : vimarsana.com

1TV PODKAST July 3, 2024

Okay. Survived, then i insisted, after all, come on, see you, its time, the phone calls have already started, not just correspondence, we met, i invited him to a restaurant, but can i ask, bye, when the initiative did not come from him, all these 2 months, as you explained it to yourself, by unpreparedness, waiting, checking, understanding how much we are each other lets approach this communication to the extent that he will be accepted, because he is an introverted person, so can i ask tatyana now, i m just wondering why such an idea came up to ask, why it was necessary to explain this somehow, i have a hypothesis, can i ill voice it a little later, of course, okay, so, first date, yes, here he is in a restaurant, looks at him, says, danya lantern, rice for 300 rubles, when a flight package costs 60, at that moment i am like a person who, as they say, has already been on different dates. Who is used to paying for himself in restaurants because he earns enough and can afford it, im sitting there like, well, well, well , probably, yes, i went too far, but im wondering if this is somehow strange, a date , here we are discussing rice, its still expensive, so what, well, she accompanies me to the subway, hugs me, its warm, unusual, warm, next. Date, i invite him myself, pay us coupons for ceramics classes, he and i go, they tell us that you are a married couple, you have been together for a long time, yes, how many years have you been together . Like, this is our second date, what are you . Yes, you look like youve been married for a long time, cute, sees you off on the subway again, kisses you for the first time , okay, on the third date, i invited him to my place, it was such an idea, have you ever celebrated Catholic Christmas . No, and neither do i, but lets turn on the nightmare before christmas, cook dinner and lets note, for now its a dream, for now yes, here he comes, and at the same time he also says that the most important thing, i ask you, dont try for me, dont cook on purpose, ill come, you and i will choose food together, buy lets cook together, dont try, oh my god, the man of our dreams together, finally this is happening together. Wow, okay, he comes, we have a wonderful evening, naturally, the relationship takes a new turn there, and we understand that we are together for all the new year holidays, he is with me, and then i say, well , come, it seems great, when we are together, such a forgotten feeling, i was just daydreaming a little while you were talking, here it is, and there was the first bit that i recognize after a while, he gave me comics for the new year, and i hate comics, its not my thing, absolutely, i love fiction, i love science fiction, i kind of get lost in this more, but i didnt read this book, but i said, yes, great, thank you, but well, its a little not my thing, i gave him legos based on the stars wars because i knew he loved star wars because that i knew that he loved to design, he is an engineer, well, thats the best gift. Hes a little childish, hes still a child, he has a collection of tanks, and yes , then we came to these tanks, and you said insult, that is, you seemed to think that it was important, i should have been happy about it comics, but i wasnt happy because i dont like them, i honestly and openly admitted it, yeah, but the relationship actually started, i have a young man, well, im happy, everything is fine, but before that i was told for many years about that what am i without specially. I wont get pregnant, my provactin levels were off the charts, so i actually immediately said that there is a risk, a small risk, but if there is one, are you ready for something . Yes, i want a family, yes, im ready, i love children, in general, how great everything will be if it suddenly happens, yes, good, im basically ready for this too, i got pregnant, i got pregnant, and he was happy, he jumped up and down ceiling, when i found out about this, i felt a slight tension, because what should i do now, and i was planning to look for a new job, and then plans change. The first fear arises, how will i cope with this . A terrible toxicosis begins, in the morning he leaves cookies and water there so that i can somehow cope. Im going through pregnancy, during pregnancy we have a lot of family events, my grandmother has a stroke, i need to go to another country, ah, i m going to her there to sell an apartment in order to transfer her to moscow, to the apartment that my mother and i were buying, and accordingly i meant that i would live with my grandmother, but did not mean that i. Would go to relationship and also getting pregnant and planning something further, that is, this is the top of my mothers pyramid, her plan, which was for me, yeah, mom, i decided, and i give birth to a child, go on maternity leave, my financial situation worsens sharply because i earned im twice as big, he was an engineer in it, my mothers financial participation begins , psychotics begins on both sides, i develop urticaria, angeloedema every day, that is, i. I just couldnt breathe, its every morning you wake up, everything is laid down on you, on both sides, on the other side you and your mom or you and your husband . My husbands hands hurt, my husbands hands constantly hurt, i understand that something is wrong, i offer family therapy, i say, something wrong is happening here, because again, i ask them to improve our situation, to solve it, because im in a vulnerable state, and he says that hes on good legs and he cant do anything, i cant. I cant do anything, i say how you cant, youre a master, you can do everything, now well do it , how can i help you, i dont know how to write a resume, okay, im starting to give, i im writing a resume, im looking for a job for him where he will earn more, im promoting him to family therapy, yes, im starting to promote him, we go to family therapy, and they say that he has no problems, hes happy with everything, youre comfortable. You need to break off this relationship, i say, no, i wont give up that easily, i dont want to repeat the family scenario, i dont want to be a divorcee, and no, no, no, no, no, no, thats it, no, thats it, goodbye , i dont need any psychologists, i can handle it myself, i take into account the literature, i study attachment theory there, because child, i also need to somehow, as they say, understand what works, while i m burning out, slowly but surely, i feel that my. life is becoming a swamp, i m alone with the child all day long, my husband is working, moving forward regarding his career, he has correspondence there with this charm, hello with emoticons, thats also good, my mother is also moving there, she accordingly also has more important things to do, everyone is okay, but i cant cope, i feel bad, i am falling into a kind of depression, and before that, accordingly. Before the depression there was a peak moment before the start of his promotion, when he was just whining about the fact that he couldnt cope , he couldnt do anything, he couldnt do anything, and his family didnt participate in any way, but at the same time he played a game with his mother, running away, that is, his mother was anxious, mom writes to him there, he does it on purpose, he sees it and he doesnt answer, i was good , i sent photos, i tried to write, keep in touch, because well , its impossible, but they dont come to the distance , its half an hour, they dont come in my grandson, they dont participate in any way, at one point i was boiling, i also said that how would you manage, help your daughter, they put him out, naked, abandoned him, my mother is also a cop , why should i help you financially, why in the middle of the night, when there is a child with a fever, do you call me, send me money, because we dont have money for a taxi to go to morozovskaya there, why not him, but he didnt need it, at the same time i see his parallel life, he sits in the toilet for hours, he plays games on the phone, he comments on articles, and this is a completely different person, i read these comments, this is a different person man, this is a cool teenager, Something Like that, who teaches everyone how to live there, okay, aksan, whats wrong with you now, let s go back to the present moment, what s happening to you now, now im already a mother of two children, so from him, from him, uhhuh, you re divorcing him . Yes, i gave birth to my second child, then i had a reconsciousness that i no longer wanted this, i began to work, get back on my feet, i returned to my profession, at first i worked like a man possessed, because it was just such an unstoppable fountain of that what was locked inside me, i found myself i was in demand, someone needed me, there were several ways out of this relationship , the first time i drove him away, he went to live with a friend, played tanks, because at that time he had already been playing these tanks for a year, spent more money there, you brought him back later, yes, he burst into tears, said that he was homeless and he was done with his life, yeah, you brought him back, then there was one more moment, as i understand it, there was another moment, you said several moments of separation, last year, and when i realized that i needed to leave and figure it out with myself, i cant yet make a decision about the breakup, i left for tashkent, yeah, and with two children, alone, i wanted to leave with my family, i asked him, i begged him, with the last money, because he quit anywhere, he didnt worked, sat at my house, played and. Im here in limbo with two children, money came, you returned him again next time, i came back, i entered this relationship again, uhhuh, now whats happening, i i drove him away again, but im interested in something else, yes, i sat, it seems to me that i have never been silent for so long in my life, listen. Vasya i just watched myself from the point of view of what was happening inside me, and i would sit just like that, listen, i sit and think, what kind of state do i have when you speak and the way you speak, and this a state of doing nothing, that is, i dont want to do anything next to you, i dont mean you discourage the desire, i mean, like this, no, but you arrange everything so interestingly that i just sit and think, i should just sit straight and listen. It would be like going to a movie or a good production in the theater, i think its interesting, it seems like you came, well, to ask for some help, yes, but at the same time you completely deprived me of the intention to at least somehow help you, because you talk about your drama so beautifully that you dont want to spoil it, you paint just like zhulevs tray and theres a pattern here, a pattern there, and such backs, and such backs, and i think how lovely, all the clients were like you, you just came like that, youre swimming a little, yes, but at the same time you keep your attention, you keep your attention phenomenally, and that is, you directly hold this attention, i dont fall asleep, but at the same time there are intentions of this very same one, or there are intentions, a desire, somehow like to say, well, ask some question, i look at tanya like this , she asks a question, i think the person is interfering, sit and listen, can you imagine the state you put into, well, i wont speak for tanya, they brought me in, im an experienced person, how do you think you did it, i dont know , however, the fact that i toil in this circle, i understand that i can assign tasks to myself, deal with them myself and be such a hero , while i dont want to become a victim in all of this and i dont want to be a hero in all of this, why do you need us, why do you need people at all, why do you need people, why do you need husbands at all , i dont know men, why are you so selfsufficient, everything is so good inside you, youll definitely explain everything inside, i want to go outside, you want to go outside, then at least a little bit of reality begins in this sense, because you know, here imagine, you are such a cat mayun, and the cat is mayun, you know, this is a character, mythological, slavic, and his name is not bayun, but mayun, not bayun, but mayun, no , there is mayun, then there are different things, mayun is the one who creates this illusion. May, this is, so to speak, a commonality between indoeuropean languages, including sanskrit and russian, and from the word may, which is an illusion, in general, we actually have it in the russian language, and such a word, from this the word maygo, the word may there and so on, so look, you create such an illusion, create, create, create, create, at some point you yourself are confused, like, well like here, because, well, you formed a certain image of this man , he made it clear to you many times that he is not. The man you need, but every time you managed to convince yourself that now everything will be , now well do everything, i would ask the question, is he definitely not the man that is needed, perhaps he is just the one that is needed, but not the one that is expected, maybe, yes, there is a point here, about expectations, speak with your mouth , that is, i initially say that i love holidays there, i get important gifts, i want a snowflake there in honor sons birthday in the winter, please, there. But you dont even give the opportunity to insert a word and there can be no action there, you do everything yourself, what kind of flowers, you also need to find a space where. Yes, you seem to be saying, but at the same time, despite everything, if you live the same way as you communicate with us now, and im sure that in general this is the case, then you dont want to spoil anything, you know, youre all they did it so well that i dont want to spoil anything, but damn it, she once literally made fate with wandering around train stations, an unsuccessful artist, and then he became famous and famous, the widow of the actor alexei buldakov, beloved by millions of russians. For 2 years she has remained silent about the misfortune that happened to her after the death of her husband, i cannot tell you how i i loved him, i loved him, i love him, for me he is number one, then she was accused of almost betraying the memory of the artist , they say she got mixed up with a young suitor who only dreams of getting his hands on all her property, it turned out the worst is ahead, at the moment at lyudmila andreevnas in general there is nothing, she has no apartment, no house and no land, so you took the apartment. Real estate, the essence doesnt just begin like that, our exclusive is the bitter confession of the widow of alexei buldakov, who, relying on her loved ones, lost everything, these are not relatives, if there were relatives, they would be completely different, exclusive with dmitry borisov, premiere, on saturday on the first. Mankatcher whiskey, a product of the stellar group. A heavy selfpropelled tulip mine of special power is capable of destroying a serious enemy fortification in a few precise shots our work is so hard, we dont call it stressful, but its better not to relax, i volunteered to arrive, ive been here for a year and a half already, i dont want to change, i dont want to leave because my team wouldnt exist without me, here s the dugout, the ground, the steps, wow, a washing machine, and this is a steam room, yes, yes, yes, yes, oh, guys, you must be an example for the personnel, so that they follow you and act just like you, shot, thats it, we hit, we hit, we work accurately, every ammunition is on target, every ammunition dorok, here he is friess praised leopard, we are ready. As many as he comes here. Premiere, special report, not a step back, on sunday on the first. This is the triggers podcast, and with you is its host, psychologist tatyana krasnovskaya, psychotherapist sergei nasebyan. And we listen to oksanas story. You said a very important thing at the beginning of our conversation, when you voiced your request, as if you had lost yourself in relation to and yes, so, you very clearly cut off, uh, two situations in your life where you are up to these delphic oracles , and after you got into a relationship, uh, i i didnt sleep so that you understood, i listened to you, metaphors for this very illusoryness began to arise in me precisely when you said that it was in delphi, because there are delphi, delphi in general, as if connected with a certain mysticism, and mysticism. Is associated with deception, yes, in general , you deceived yourself very well there, in this sense , you have entered this circle of selfdeception, i will call it that, i dont want to offend your feelings , so, accordingly, you ve been giving birth to children there for 8 years, doing something there, you are trying to somehow improve the lives of other people, to promote everyone, where is it going, everyone is moving, i have no doubt, you can ride on your energy for a long time, so you said, i lost myself, and. I have a question for you is that where you were with yourself until you were 24 . Mostly by myself, a smaller part probably by my mother, who, well, is her mothers child, but i resisted a lot, i was uncomfortable, somehow with myself, but she, as it were , well, how to say, consciously carried out these like mothers, pyramidal, pyramidal, mothers tasks, so these yes, well, i received the answer that i had to obey, because in any way. In the case where i started the confrontation, i was bad, naturally, im bad, regarding the fact that i even had a very, as if very sharp reaction to me, you need to memorize it the way its written in the textbook, i say, i i dont like to cram, i like to read, understand and retell in my own words, uhhuh, i cant be a repeater there, i cant be there, i want to build my own, uhhuh, okay, that is, you were mostly with yourself in this most, right . What part of yourself have you lost in this relationship, or what part of yourself, spontaneous, but emotional, because i. Its like a frozen person with a concrete slab on top of me, i cant move in all of this, i cant feel anything , i cant be, and i cant manifest myself, or i, for example , during our first separation in a relationship, i started dancing in the kitchen, when i cook, listening to music, dancing, which i havent done for many years, im not with the moment the child was born there, i didnt listen to music, i didnt dance, so i started dancing, in a relationship, i invite a person, well, why not, as they say, dance together, well , somehow, as best you can, it doesnt matter, but it will show up, yeah, but the person prefers to just stand on the sidelines and watch, so funny, you seem to be surprised every time when you meet your husband , you seem to wonder every time why this person has no initiative, what is happening to him, why he doesnt show any intention, as sergei says, why there is no impulse, but you chose someone like that man, thats why i asked you in at the very beginning, as you explained to yourself, that in general you built the relationship , you took him, and then you built a relationship with him, he was just like such a cotton doll, but this is my feeling now, that even if you dont to separate, not to go out, to experience this internal suffering, which now happens to me on a regular basis, when i sit and cry for days, but to return to move again and not see, but what are you crying about, oh broken one . A dream that i will not be from the amazon tribe, like my mother and grandmother, who were divorced, that i can, i can build a family, i can raise children, that it will be whole, that it will be alive, here, and this is the first moment, the second moment, that i could not help the person, i could not see him , no matter how hard i tried, when in our conflicts even i shouted that i was not. Your mother, i dont want to raise you, i dont w

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