Almost any city, quests now. Partly this is already an inexpensive story, that is, they started systematically every weekend, attracting the girls friends, that is, to gather such a micro group to go on quests, which give a very emotional, scary reaction, yes, because quests are most often built on such fears, and there is a need to overcome some obstacles, well, i also personally have questions about most of our quests, but this is a topic for another, i also have questions, yes, but in any case this is the lesser evil in a situation where the child has already started studying. When the child the emotional sphere has gone, because again , artyom correctly said that getting addicted to gadgets gives a child a negative aggressive reaction to being distracted from the game, because the child simply begins to get irritated, begins to conflict, moves away from his parents, the fragile drug addict, a completely pure endorphin romance , who is already becoming so adrenaline , aggressive, in this situation, let it be a quest, i have her in conflict, yeah, that is, she needs to conflict there with more , she conflicts with her peers quite often, and i understood why she needs emotion, she needs a strong emotion there, so that they will push her there somehow, this is what she needs, but its the endorphin she needs to get, she doesnt have enough of these emotions in normal life, she a conflict is needed, thats why artem standard, something else, you wont solve the issue, you need to give the child alternative emotions that are manageable, yes, legal, not creating problems for her life, but just emotions, regular weekend trips on a bicycle, but not here you can ride around the district, and for 50 kilometers, for 100, these are correspondingly other territories there, but with an overnight stay somewhere in these preroad motels, the child is scared , the child discovers the world, the child is interested, again, he is going with his parents or can he take some amount with him there girlfriends, friends, thats just an acute emotion that can be controlled, i repeat, this is not a problematic emotion, but an acute emotion, only it will allow the child to find something alternative to toys, this is precisely the problem of parents, they follow the usual path, which does not work, andrey , still i let me clarify, this needs to be done constantly, or is it like a reboot, we are saying so that our dear listeners do not be afraid of us, we are talking about a transition period, a period. When we remove this very dependence temporarily, yes, and then of course we lower the speed a little we introduce the child into more systemic, ordinary activities, but at the stage of breaking away from the child, who is deeply immersed in play activities, this is unfortunately necessary, my wife is a super traveler, even i dont fall into her rhythm, so i dont go on all her trips, but the child goes with her, here this year they traveled to bukhara, tashkent, samarkant, everything was on some terrible schedule, visited kyrgyzstan, flew in, so whats the point, she came to the hotel and demanded the internet. This is a psychic podcast, my name is natalya loseva, i am a journalist, our expert, family psychologist, doctor of science andrei sberovsky, our guest artyom tikhomirov, the father of elevenyearold eva, we are talking about how to free a child from the captivity of gadgets. Have you tried giving your daughter some kind of sport . I once took my child to wrestling, but here i couldnt come to an agreement with my wife, because she said that , after all, wrestling as a girl is not exactly good, but the girl liked it, it was interesting, my girls have liked boys since kindergarten, and there it was, yes, we can be happy for you, and there were so many boys there, and of course she liked it, she liked it there, well, as if it wasnt a section, i mean like this. This section, it was a school of soviet training there, classical wrestling , but unfortunately my wife and i could not agree, now, if you say so now, from the podium of channel one, you say that. Natasha , the child should be sent to the wrestling section, then maybe she will listen, no, well, its not necessarily wrestling, well, listen, you all need it, it seems to me, the three of us will agree, especially since when the child is 11 years old, i already think her voice can be taken into account, of course, and most importantly, the struggle is precisely that highly emotional activity, precisely the presence, if you even say that the child has a certain conflict there, there is a certain request for something so spicy around her, then she should receive it without receiving it in such a. Useful mode in the same highly emotional sport, but from work experience, lets say mine, again i advise in such cases not just sports, sports where there is a team, volleyball, basketball, football, that is, where there is still the energy of conflict, because any Group Activity is a conflict, in this case the child will receive, and will get those very emotions that the child maybe it wont make it, well in real life, if he is so highly emotional , so this is exactly the thesis our dear listeners should hear , that alternative emotional activity is needed, each child can have it individually, yes, that is, you need to understand, for some, some kind of panda park somewhere where there are climbing frames, respectively, or a climbing wall will give this very emotion and distract from the game, for someone there is something more well sporting or more educational, by the way, in this situation, thats when you described that your wifes daughter went on very interesting trips , maybe they didnt work out in the situation that it was possible to read with your daughter the history of these countries and cities where they are going and, accordingly. Which i would like to discuss with you, if little by little, what is called cultivating, showing a child, i understand that this is work, well, practically titanic, sometimes it will seem in vain, you know, artillery is wasted work, yes, this can also happen, but this path, which in my opinion makes sense to go through, especially since the child is an adult, they say, yes, say, listen, look, and give me this, you do this look, look what i found, i found look what a cool quest on your phone that improves physics, especially since now there are probably quite a lot of such toys, here i will reveal your thesis in unison to you, because here its not just important if you go with your child to some educational topic, i recommend that parents still try to determine the possible profession and selfrealization of the child, emphasis. At your childs age, of course, we can make a mistake; the child s interests and goals may change five more times, but still less, if we even preliminarily outline some kind of goal, then with the child, look for some kind of Educational Programs on the same internet there, accordingly, tying it to the task that you want to become great there, a businessman or a chemist or a physicist there there or by someone else, lets watch materials that will be useful to you, and this will naturally reflect positively on grades at school, then we will interest the child better than just as parents say well, i would like to watch something educational there, well look how much interesting, the child just doesnt yet have a request for something simple, he wants to have a practical aspect, so if we add to the cognitive programs the childs target task, his game in the profession, we show the usefulness of gaining additional knowledge, for something, it is desirable that this the goal was probably closer, yes, that is, not someday in 10 years you will need it, this will come in handy. Yourself this year . She has been studying programming with us for the second year, you know what one of the most prestigious professions is now creative professions, called a game designer, these are people who come up with game scenarios, game plots, game scripts, this may actually be the case now in your specific case, im not saying that for everyone, friends, this is not for everyone, but in your specific case, then yes, i can relax, the child is on the right path , its okay that im not a child, she will be a game designer, classical, i need to study, perhaps, mathematics, physics, chemistry, because you dont just have to come up with some kind of scenario , and you have to understand, for example, your action takes place on the moon, and how will an object on the moon come into contact with the surface of the moon, with what force, in fact, artyom, in your case, if your child really has such a creative imagination , plus the child went to programming, you can actually say, child, you can be a successful person, earn good money, but in this case, lets look at these games without getting emotionally involved in them, treat it like an expert, look at the game, what can you take from it to create your game, creating your own virtual world, in this case, if you Start Talking about it with your child, daughter , what kind of world would you. Think, but lets come up with a set of plots, a set of characters, what kind of characters they will have, what they will overcome, if you teach your child to write down his thoughts, you can create such a mini family. By discussing some new scenarios, new moves, maybe this will gradually captivate your child and we will really get a bright successful specialist in creating these very gaming realities , and we will solve all your problems, and the child will receive a prestigious profession in the future , will take those subjects at school that will be important for this, this is actually a very good correct scenario. God grant that it be so, but she doesnt watch that content from me, on which you can kind of say, i dont know Thomas Sawyer there. Narrowminded, who are now overwhelmed with everything, and accordingly, she copies them, but to attract her, lets watch a movie with you , i dont know, timur is there, his commands, she cant interesting, and one more point is also important, i wanted to discuss with a psychologist , the only way to control my child now is either as a reward to get there, the gadget as a punishment, so turn off the internet there, we have no other way, and of course we use it , that is, i did my homework, turned on the internet, got a bad grade, there will be no internet there today, we come to the theater for a beautiful ice show, where we watch the circus, the child just falls asleep at the fifteenth, second, third minute, thats it, she wakes up, when everyone claps and thats it, thats it, because you described the picture when a child is already dependent, right . Receiving those emotions, he doesnt fall asleep there, because these and this no longer compete, yes, real life cannot compete, thats what we said right at the beginning of our conversation, that parental attempts, so reasonable and beautiful, to distract with something then the standard with which they were distracted in childhood no longer works, so artyom, in this case i advise, you can still say, child, lets have some kind of transitional period, or such a transitional type of activity, you played a game there, spend 15 minutes or. Half an hour there to tell your mother and me about what you played there, what alternatives you might have done in this game otherwise, we are trying to verbalize this game, we are trying to make it more intellectual , in fact, your child is probably developing and, as it were, dear andrey, she really wants to copy these bloggers, she repeats, i say, lets shoot beautifully, mom will keep the light on, i will support camera, lets do everything beautifully, lets see what we have. What kind of background so that there, well , lets create it somehow, write a script, mom tells her, i say, im ready to help, lets do it with pleasure, were ready to participate, we were filming something there, the fact that she categorically refuses our participation, the fact that she is the content that she produces, that is, she also makes some kind of content, yes, well, like almost all schoolchildren now, yes, she makes content, and what is there, what is she doing there that is good, interesting, what was what, what did you like, that she not only absorbs , but tries to give something to this world, i really like that she has these heroes of games, these videos, cartoons, she draws them, i dont like that he draws only these characters and no others, shes good at it, well, well, to draw the same characters for two years, thats what you tell her, and have you ever said that you like what he draws, moreover, on these characters, and you again suggested telling the child, here you are doing some kind of activity, but lets do this activity at a more professional level, that is, well call a good stylist there, we can pick out an interesting design for your clothes, we can hire an animator who will animate your drawings and try to do it, sorry, there was a photograph, well, here you go. That means in the studio, but it also needs to be said there that you wont go and deprive me of the internet , well, im like born to me, yes, well, here there is a very important nyu, but return your passport, there is a very important nuance if you tried at least once or twice, a little bit to professionalize what. What we are filming , try to raise the quality of this content at the expense of other people there, yes, at the expense of specialists, show the child that you watch, what you film yourself gets conditionally 500 views there, otherwise , what we did with the involvement of a professional gave immediately 1,500 or 5,500 there, then maybe this is the main currency for her, likes are the main currency for her, if you and your wife come up with a real nononsense idea of how to monetize her content, here here she is will become your ally, were they like that . Attempts on your part, have you tried . Yes, and how, once again, when there was a noticeable increase in content, i myself am partly involved in journalism, when we started trying experiments. With the internet, with youtube, the first thing my daughter did, she destroyed it, she had access to my youtube channel, she erased all my videos , from which there were 1002000, you are a little aggressor, and for me, that is, well, i didnt even beat her, well, the shock of it went away, you just it doesnt seem to me that they didnt realize it there is everything that he himself, as a video blogger, dad, you dont need this video anymore, this is a psychic podcast, my name is natalya loseveva, i am a journalist, our expert, family psychologist, doctor of science, andrei sberovsky is our guest, artyom tikhomirov, father of an elevenyearold eva, we are talking about how to snatch a child out of. Artyom, look, now your child undoubtedly has some group of bloggers whom she follows, who is an authority for her, in this situation, you are like an adult , smart dad , your spouse, you can contact with one of these bloggers, you know, my daughter is a fan , she draws well there, she understands something quite well about this story, maybe you need some kind of assistant there, yes, its possible, the person there, which will be useful for you as a respected blogger. Can you write to my daughter or call my daughter in fact, especially through dad, through mom or directly to her, if she has such an understandable nickname on social networks there or somewhere else, and say, listen, girl, and lets do it there, or what we did here on a more professional level with your participation, its rated, it s more interesting, accordingly, now theres direct contact, that is, youre like dad and mom, unfortunately, lets be honest, the child apparently not in authority, not because the parents are bad, because the child has other authorities that were imposed on her, the child is 11 years old, its normal that now for her there are some people close in age, these bloggers, showing such a fantasy in general then life, yes, it is clear that they are much more enjoy authority than close, significant relatives, we can involve them, we can involve them in the pedagogical process, we can make them your ally in this case, that is, my advice is not to go on a counter offensive like this, it would lead to a conflict, which will only push you away, because the model either turned on the internet or turned it off, this model is a dead end, unfortunately, it can work, but for a limited time, until adolescence, 1415 years old, your daughter will just start secrets from you second telephone, as if they wont take you into account there at all, so find some kind of expert, benevolent, adequate from this internet world, try to involve her in some kind of activity, that is, lets try to find an ally after all, because what is this for, but how will it free up the girls time from the gadget, because this is also the problem that the girl spends almost all her waking time on the phone or tablet, if we make this communication and spending time manageable, if we are committed to this lets add a practical benefit, when the child will not just waste time, but learn something that will help. I ll tell you right away, if you play there for more than two or three hours, you will lose your vision there, you will lose there others have some kind of communication and other skills, that is, we need authority, but if i understood you correctly, then the strategy is Something Like this, in order to free the child from the captivity of this mindless gadget while spending time, and from this black hole , need to. That is, we are looking for something to cling to, where is our resource . The resource we have is that she doesnt just watch, shes still smart and well done, she produces her own content, yes, and this is for you and me now a hook that we need to grab onto, and this thread needs to be pulled, maybe be then the strategy is such that we say, dear , youre doing great, really the world of this gadgets, internet content, this is your world, youre great at doing digital things, but then you need. Either artyom and his wife , or, as you say, one of these allies tells her listen, you live in sochi, maybe you can make a series of minivideos about your extreme parks, about your watering holes, that is, make her spend more time for the production of content, so we did Something Like this, and what do i like, but she doesnt like what shes doing, then listen to what she says, let her be praised, let her be praised for this content, thats what i actually wanted i would like to use the platform of channel one and contact bloggers, dear bloggers, who deals with childrens content, please, somehow contact me, because my child needs you to say that she is great and that she spends more time in the family, and not on these internets of yours, not only, but to do something then, she did something exactly, including, by the way, arttyom, in this case, heres some more advice, we know that in many cities there are certain grant programs, when a child who, say, films some kind of content about his native city, you may also get money for this, i emphasize that i immediately understand that competition in this field is very large, it can be very difficult to actually get through to these grants, but again i know that the parents who acted out such a miniature, and such a microscene, said to the child, lets apply, we actually applied, didnt win anything, but the parents they say to the child, listen, and you won , that is, we deceive the child a little, m