He begins to pull away his attention, yes, this is the only safe one moment when i can withdraw my attention. This is a psychic podcast, today with a family psychologist olga shubina, we meet with a married couple who do not know how to find the right harmony between parental responsibilities and their marital happiness. Lets talk now about. Deniss life, how is your day going in your family . I wake up, wake up my daughter, dress her, have breakfast with her, so after all, which of you will have a daughter . We mostly wake you up, yeah, together, as if i were doing my hair, dad dresses her, that is, the team, when i dont have time, i believe it will be, mostly i try to have lunch, dress her, then we go to breakfast, we comb our hair there before breakfast, after breakfast we go to the garden, they go to different ones, that is, they have different places, different schedules, and you have distributed. In general , it turns out quite fairly, yes, yes, with misha, whats with him, he wants to spend more time, misha, on principle, goes with his mother, and hes like dad to go, but he stays late at home, hes sometimes capricious, so i go only with masha mostly, but how do you feel when misha is capricious, when im angry with him, yeah, that is, you both have such tension arises, so its better, of course, to hand it over to your mother at this moment, but how do you cope . Now it has become a little easier because masha went to the garden, and that is, i have at least some thought that now i will take him to the garden, then i will have breakfast there, for example, there or Something Else then i can do it, and its like, when you understand that you need to wait out this mood for a moment, its easier to cope, and so, of course, when you understand that you need to run further there, that theres still child and you need to devote time to him, then well. Youre nervous and in a hurry, trying to somehow make it, uhhuh, uhhuh, it turns out that he, of course, is more nervous about this, when you left for the Maternity Hospital, please tell me how we discussed it very very abruptly , it turned out because at the twentyseventh week my water broke and i was taken to the Maternity Hospital, just to go to the center, for a walk, yes, but basically that day he was in a good mood, because his cousin came, and he was very happy, he was in in principle, yes. I wanted to leave with us, he was calmly in the room, playing with her, then, yes, the fact that i was gone, for about two weeks, while i was in the Maternity Hospital, he was with grandmothers, with grandfathers, but outwardly, Something Like that, so that he would cry, yes, he asked there, and where is mom, well, no, but he probably felt, but this tension that arose in the family, how old was it, one and a half years old, can you imagine, the loss of a significant adult, scary, mom no. Everyone is tense yes, they explain, but at one and a half years old, they pass it from hand to hand, everything seems to be fine, i receive warmth, i receive contact, but there is no one to express it with, and naturally we havent been there for 2 weeks, yes, then, when you came, how did the child react . Well, he was very happy, yes, thats when he came home, and it so happened that masha was in the Maternity Hospital for 3 months, while she was at full term, and it was as if he had been without his sister for these 3 months. Yeah, well, well, he and i are together, everywhere, this time, the first 2 weeks, somewhere after you appeared, was he hanging in your arms, mom wouldnt have it any other way he always hangs in his arms, even now, when he is 3. 5 years old, he always wants to be hugged, to sit, to be cuddled with , to be held hand, we even walk down the street, he always walks by the hand. What kind of feelings, well, i dont know, it seems to me, its just that at that moment they probably couldnt explain it, but the very fact that you, well , how yes, this feeling that you feel that something is wrong , something has changed, no, you didnt just change, you were sitting, waiting for him in corridor, yes, and you still remember this, yes, yes, at the age of two, she still remembers, yes, and what this divorce meant for you then, well, dad came to us later, of course, much less often, so and. Blueeyed, shes probably more like dad marusya, we have her, shes fairer, she looks like, i want to hear from him that im good, she at the very beginning started talking about how i want to be a good mother, good , so he hears, he hears it, you know, emotionally, and he always tries to make it seem to you that once it seems like he dressed the child, fed him, everything is fine with him, he has toys there, Something Else, he has time there. They are doing something to her, heres how to say it, i want to be such a good mother that i can be with my children there, but of course, when you, for example, Pay Attention to one child, of course, at that moment there, well, its not the attention of another is given to another, and what children at 3 years old most often manipulate, the most terrible, the most terrible thing, what he is afraid of, is dislike, and he is afraid of dislike. I still want, what if my mother disappears, what if my mother will disappear, there has already been an incident, mom will disappear, and if mom gets distracted, and if mom gets lost from sight, yes, its all very, very, it seems, i understood, you mean that faith has set itself such a pace for this race. To yourself first of all, yes, these are the obstacles that are above your head, which you need to jump over, and fly over, as you want on the morally strongwilled, and the distance that a person cannot overcome and the speed at which horses do not run, but thats faith i came up with myself, she is like the most significant the standard adult, as a role model, has already taught this to her son, yes, you understand that masha, fortunately, is still a little bit of a giver, and this saves her, apparently, yes, but apparently also for the moment. Uhhuh, and now they are each other, uhhuh, vera, her son misha, they are whipping these whips of love, trying to prove that each of them still, you know, how i love you to the moon, i love you to the star, i love you there to the milky way, and somewhere on the side there are denis and masha, a little stunned, standing and dont understand what to do about it, they in general, what where. Where should we run, we cant keep up with you guys, well, of course i didnt look at it from that angle, yes, it opens up a little new ones, that is, you came with a request for help. About the fact that you dont export, about the fact that you dont have enough resources, yeah, but before you came here with this request, you pushed away, you know, like then buy a lottery ticket, yes, you have all the possibilities that , as i understand it, they were offered to you, yes, you have already dismissed them, rejected them, devalued them, or with the best intentions, of course however, only with the best intentions, of course, your husband should eat the best. Pasta, of course, i always pack denis lunch with me, there, so i will die, yes, yes, but in my grave, he will eat his best pasta in his life, so that no one in his life would even think about it, then feed him other pasta, cool , an excellent plan, by the way, yes, but it doesnt work, it works, but not for long, olga, well, lets try to give the guys some kind of correct trajectory so that they. Figure out their roles and vera allowed denis to help herself, yes, and denis was not afraid to offer vera his own, as i see, yes, that he wants to help, he loves, he is interested, he came to us, for men it is a feat to even come to a psychologist for welcome, you can immediately be given a hero, just, well, i dont know, a hero of the region exactly or the region, and you still came to the program, no, in fact denis is such a very involved dad. That is, when he always comes home, he immediately goes to the children, hes there as soon as he hasnt even changed his clothes yet, hes already going there there, but what are you doing at this moment, and i usually serve dinner, and he goes to communicate with the children, in general, approximately, we arrive at the same time literally, vera comes with the kindergarten children, and then i come, and you so you distribute a little responsibilities, yes, and i go to the children, she does everything, yeah, and then how do you call them to the table, well . I call them to eat, so they all come, well, misha is naturally the first, but mostly misha, whom misha praises, and well, misha usually comes, looks at what they have set for him, says, oh, there, there, there, there my favorite soup, here or there, well, sometimes of course he says, i wont eat this, but then he still sits down and mostly eats, yeah, i also want him to praise, but he eats poorly himself, but he mostly tries to do this infantile behavior, then his mother should feed him. So that his mother would give it to him there, and the mother begins to suffer that her child does not eat well enough, as an ideal child should eat, no, it seems to me that if something is not difficult, its like out of the category, like him, for example, there maybe they can ask him to change his clothes, but thats not for me i like it, i want another one there, i dont want this tshirt, lets see everything, when it kind of looks like something simple, you think, so what, well, lets change the tshirt, well, ill feed him there with a fork, then this it seems like. Well, its not worth it for him to be upset, uhhuh, yes, i can change my clothes myself, he doesnt like something, he came up, took it, changed his clothes, wait, maybe, look how he, how, as denisatorobka says, i understand correctly that you probably broke through more than once, to say, faith, let he will change clothes himself, but they got it right there, no, something a little different, i say that i do nt feed him so often, he ate more, she feeds him all the time, why dont you listen to your husbands words, because i feel sorry. He eats his beloved son himself , we need to feed him, we just need to put less effort into it somehow, yes he eats in the garden by himself, he doesnt have such problems in a cafe, that is, if we come somewhere, he is wonderful himself, he has such the problem arises only at home, dont delve into it, denis, what are you, what do you feel, that my wife cant hear me, that my wife cant hear you, and therefore the child cant hear dad either, so the child cant be proud of his dad, dad isnt an authority, so stay with dad. Its like, suddenly something is wrong, yes, suddenly something is wrong, suddenly mom will scold us, if anything happens, yes, and now we return to the beginning of our program, you came with a request on how to save yourself, yeah, and at the same time , to raise children as independent, selfreliant, from the short story that olga and i just heard, the children are they behave more independently in front of their dad, yeah, that is, whos great, dad . Well done dad, say again, well done dad, denis, well done, well done, and at home you praise him so much, at home, probably, well, as if sometimes, yes, but so he can just admit this fact and say, dad, listen, youre great, ill have to follow your example, maybe i really shouldnt feed him, as he advises so often, well, probably, yes , ill probably try. There will be more harmony in the family, balance, there will be more of yourself, there will be more strength, and now tell me, here you are they said at the very beginning, i want the children to be independent. And where about you now, they are now looking at you, and well, yes, i also understand that of course, if you are, as it were, just a mother, and this is the only function, then its probably not very interesting with you, no, no, and its like children, well, they see that youre giving everything to someone, yeah, thats right, they will be more, yeah, no, they dont see what youre doing. Social role, you dont even fulfill the marital role, you have distanced yourself from your spouse, im all about children, i need to cook food, i you need everything, everything, shes Still Holding the dome, olga told you, shes holding the dome, you know, she has no time, i, as a woman, have generally lost my role, and as a social object, yes, ive lost it, and as a daughter for my mother, most likely also keep a dome like this, because you have to try not to give. There were just battles going on, to take the room by storm, to go in there, to participate in the cleaning, but all together, yeah, he just wants to be close, yes, he just wants everything time to feel mom, why, because only with mom is it safe, because only mom knows wear boots or sneakers. When the weather turns bad, uhhuh, uhhuh, he cant support himself at the moment when theres a mother on the horizon, but theres no mom, theres a dad, what am i doing, im already starting to think about myself, when theres a mom, yes, i want to please mom, that means i have to be next to her, i have to be in front of her eyes all the time, look at what unexpected conclusion we come to at the end of our conversation yeah, so that our heroine, faith, has time for herself, the strength of oneself appeared, appeared some space, she needs to help strengthen dads authority in the eyes of her children, that is, not to protect her, on the contrary, to invest now as much as possible in dads authority, that is , send the child, say, mom, what am i going to eat, ask dad what should i wear . , dad will say somehow weaken my maternal role, where will i weaken it, here, here, here, here, and add something to yourself, the children will be happy to see a happy mother, a happy one who takes care of herself, for my daughter, how wonderful it will be to see a woman who takes care of herself, she will love herself in the same way and try to take care of herself, right . Mom shouldnt become a victim, its very good and somehow so correct olga said that you are a team with the whole family, but the four of you, you are a great big team that can only row in one direction, but having correctly distributed the roles, because that if we sit with you on an oar, we continue the metaphor, but everyone scrapes with different intensity, then what will the boat do, well, it wont go, it it will spin and turn upside down. And you also need to talk about grievances, you need to sit down at the table and talk a little about each others grievances, why because look how much sincerity there is in him. As a couple we managed to find the right path to their happiness, come to us too, tell us, and together we will try to pull out those very thorns from your hearts so that everyone is happy. We are pleased to welcome you to the podcast. Man of substances and its presenter, editorinchief of komsomolskaya pravda Olesya Nosova and i am an endocrinologist zuhra pavlova. Today we lets talk about an important topic, very interesting, about obesity that we get from fruits. And in fact, this is also one of those topics that lies on the surface, but which not everyone, as they say, reaches. This fall we learned the chic word zhezhirovka. This was said in relation to manul timosha from the moscow zoo. Who by winter went through this process of fattening from 2 kg increased to 6 kg, this is how it is with the manuls to gain fat by winter, thats the word fattening, in my opinion, wonderful, and with the same word fattening, in general, you can name what happens to a person when he eats a lot of fruits, fruits and the fructose they contain are an ideal way to gain fat, prepare for. Yes, prepare for winter, in fact, bears gain their main weight, despite the fact that they are such predators, terrible ferocious and so on, they gain most of their weight, fat, or rather, on berries, fruits, and so on, and not on what you would think, absolutely, ill deviate a little now, we once went to donbai on the glacier, we were stopped by Border Guards and told that we couldnt go along that path, because there was a bear eating raspberries, the bear was busy with a very important matter, he needed to go through a fattening, yeah, and it was somehow lifethreatening to be distracted, thats really true, thats why it doesnt occur to most people that fruit is a sweetness, what if its somehow connected with fat, because when we eat lard, well, theres probably a reason for people to assume that lard, fat also accumulates fat , and. Fruits and berries, this is sugar, some kind of sugar, plus they themselves are low in calories, but if you look at them, the calorie content of, i dont know, apples, what the calorie content of apples is, well , in my opinion, it seems to me, 5060 kilocalories, approximately depending on the size, but what is very important here is, what will happen later in the body of a person or a bear when you eat these apples, and its also very important how many of these apples you eat, and whats also very important is how. How does the appetite change when eating apples or there are other fruits, but more on that a little later, but for now ill also tell you how, as an example, a patient once came to me and said doctor, i ve lost so much weight, ive been on a watermelon diet for a week and my eyes are shining, the person is very happy, i say how much ive lost, she says more than 5 kilograms, i say, you know. Lets now do a study on body composition analysis, and you will see what you lost in this ladys attitude was especially significant, because i had bioimpedance before, that is, the results her body composition before and after her diet, and i knew that we well see, but talking about it first, when a person has come on such a rise, is not very wise, its better to show it so that they can be seen. Objective data, well, in fact, what we saw was a sufficient loss of muscle mass, and adipose tissue had increased, and i began to explain to her that a watermelon or any other fruit diet, a monodiet, it involves the intake of only a specific component, yes, well watermelon in particular, its a lot of water, its glucose, its fructose and, of course, dietary fiber, which, by the way, is about food fiber is useful, but there is not very much of it, after all, well, there really is not very much of it, naturally, when a person consumes water, sweet water. And a little fiber, he accumulates adipose tissue, it could not be otherwise , and muscle will be lost all this time, because protein is not supplied at all, and the need for it every minute, not like every day, every minute exists in the body, and the body, regarding the situation as stressful, because it is very important, the most important macronutrient stopped act, he will spend muscle mass, losing muscle mass is very bad, this is due to. Such a process that i would call pathological, well, in general this is old age, of course, yes, this is old age, this is sarcopenia, this is when fat accumulates , and muscle mass is lost, nature, so to speak, prepares us for leaving, that is, our body transfers muscle tissue, say, from the legs, there from large muscles, into the muscle tissue that is more important to it, this is the heart, no, it does not it just moves it into the muscle, of course it supports it. We dont go, lets say, yes, well okay, in principle