Most of us spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to control our anger, fear and frustration. Thereâs nothing wrong with wanting to control our emotions, but our desires should extend well beyond that. The absence of negative emotions isnât necessarily happiness. The bottom line is that itâs not just about our ability to avoid feeling bad. We want to feel good. One premise to grasp is that thoughts are habitual and repetitive, and they fuel our emotions. We get caught in negative thought patterns and these patterns get stronger every time we think them. So, the key is to reverse it: Make your positive thoughts a habit. Specifically, that means trying between one to three positive and clear thoughts every day for 21 days. (You will also recall that studies prove it takes about three weeks of repletion to create a behavioral habit.)