SHARE nadia_bormotova/Getty Growing up, I was often called a âgoodâ girl. A âsweetâ girl. A âkindâ girl. I was courteous and polite, respectful through and through. And I considered my âniceâ demeanor a virtue. I mean, pleasing others made me feel good. It filled my heart and cup. I also had lots of friends. In elementary school, everyone knew my name. But sometime between childhood and now, I found my people pleasing to be problematic. I realized it was, in many ways, hurting me because my self-worth was tied up in others. I put the feelings and needs of my friends and family members ahead of my own, and this caused me to not only become codependent but unhealthfully entangled with others. On numerous occasions, Iâve put my physical and mental health in harm’s way. But not today. Not anymore. Why? Because I’ve learned to establish boundaries.