Candid Corner: Commitment and the confusion Q: I really want to have a committed relationship with someone but every time I like a guy and I express it; they get frightened and back off. I know itâs a pattern because it has been happening to me for a while, but I donât know if this is happening because of me or men in general. I am looking for an outsiderâs perspective here. Ans: Committed relationships make many people back off, not just men. Why would anyone already dealing with so many life responsibilities want more baggage to carry? We all have limits to how much commitment and responsibilities we can take. If we cross those limits we end up with resentment.