The votes were close, and then yeah, it is. Imagine if we woke up a week the graphics are definitely, like, later and found that a foreign 10 better than the old xbox. Yeah, that thats pretty nice. Government had hacked voting [game sound effects stop] machines and some of the votes you guys want to play outside or something . By americans. Trevor right. And we couldnt put it back cartman, your side won, dude. Together. That would be a disaster to our why are you so sad . Social order and, so, the time i just. I cant get the image of bill gates to really try to bring people bashing that guys head apart out of my eyes. Together across political parties, to Bring Tech Companies yeah, i know what you mean. Together with people in government is now, not a week well, look, guys, xbox won the console wars. After our elections go off the rails. Trevor you do pivot in the i mean, what are we gonna do, not play video games . Book to talk about the tools, and one of the major areas you the last few weeks weve been too busy to play video games speak on is rural broadband. And look at what we did. Why is that such a major issue theres been drama, action, romance. I mean, honestly, you guys, do we need video games to play . In your eyes. Thats right. Hes trying to make a point. People dont think of rural maybe we started to rely on microsoft and sony so much areas and not having or having broadband. Why do you think thats such a that we forgot that all we need to play are the simplest things, big deal . I think its so much bigger than we recognize as a country like. Like this we can just play with this because we get out to these screw video games, dude. Who [bleep] needs them . Rural communities, and the first thing you remember is that all yeah really broadband is like p]em electricity to the 21s the south park video game, coming to stores soon. 21st century, what it means yeah, and if you believe that, for education, healthcare, i got a big, floppy wiener to dangle in your face. Increasingly what it means for businesses, and, so, we go out to these communities where unemployment rates are lying, where people feel left behind, and then you realize they feel from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, left behind because, in many this is the daily show with ways, they are. Trevor noah. Until you bring broadband, you cheers and applause cant bring jobs, and until you can bring jobs, you cant bring hope. So if we actually want to bring this country back together, you have to think about how we can use technology as a tool to help us solve some of the biggest problems that really confront us. Trevor well, luckily, theres a man in the white house trevor welcome to the who doesnt listen to any daily show, everybody thank you so much for tuning in advice. Thank you so much for joining us on the show. Thank you for coming out im loving it cheers and applause tools and weapons is available im trevor noah. Now, a fascinating look at the our guest tonight is president world of tech. Brad smith, everybody. Of microsoft, here with a new well be right back cheers and applause book about the promise and perils of the digital age brad smith is joining us cheers and applause also tonights show, someone is trying to kill simba, your phone sucks now, and someone is leaving the white house but its not who you hope. So lets catch up on todays headlines. Lets kick it off with the big introducing new metamucil premium blend. News of the day. Sweetened with stevia and made with allnatural flavors and colors. No modern president has lost as its a delicious way to get your daily dose of fiber. Many cabinet officials or senior advisors in their entire first try it today. Term as trump has in his first new align whole food probiotic. A blend of quality probiotics and fermented whole food botanicals. 30 months. Its a record, and now hes just expertly curated to naturally support your gut health every day. Running up the score. Major anational monument today by President Trump on twitter that he has fired his go with align whole food blend, from the pros in digestive health. National security advisor john and try align gummies with prebiotics and probiotics bolton. This is the tweet, i informed john bolton last night that his to help support digestive health. Services are no longer needed at hashtag vacay. Sonoma . I want wine with lunch. The white house. I disagreed strongly with many its 11am, cindy. Of his suggestions as did other thanks, captain obvious. In the administration, and, therefore, i asked john for his dont hatelike their trip, book yours with hotels. Com and get rewarded basically everywhere. Resignation, which was give ton me this morning. Hotels. Com. Be there. Do that. Get rewarded. Trevor thats right, trump has fired john bolton as his National Security advisor. Really, its no surprise because bolton was just too hawkish to trump. His solution to every situation was bombs. What do you think about north korea . Bombs what do you with iran . Bombs what do you get mike pence for secret santa . Bombs yo, yo you need to leave, man laughter by the way, bolton was the third National Security advisor trump has pushed out. Its amazing americas unemployment numbers are so low considering trump fired half to have country. laughter john bolton is out and to mark the occasion his mustache was lowered to half mast. A very sad day for the nation. cheers and applause now in a normal white house, a transition like this would be presented very smoothly, but because donald trump is a messy bitch who lives for drama, things are going down a little differently. President trump says he asked for his resignation but bolton is pushing back. He says he offered to resign last night. John bolton just texted me just now, hes watching. Can you read it . Yeah, he said lets be here, i resigned. I said, do you mind if i say that while you were talking . He wrote yes. John bolton just texted me, he said i resigned. Trevor shit just got real. [upbeat action music] trump says he fired bolton but bolton said, no, i quit and youre trying to take credit for me quitting. This actually makes me wish hurricanes could talk. So Hurricane Dorian could have clapped back at trump last week, dorian is totally going to hit alabama, bitch, i was going nowhere near alabama, but keep talking, ill come over there and blow that weave right off your head. laughter with bolton gone, the question is who will be the next to leave . Nobody knows. But it was sure weird today when trump fired bolton, melania tried to sneak out with him. He was, like, oh, no, so sad to be sphierd, i am also going. laughter some technology news, if you just bought a brandnew iphone today, youre stupid. Apple unveiling its latest set of iphones today, iphone 11, iphone 11 pro and iphone 11 pro max. Apple unveiling watch 5 and tv streaming service. The service will be available in november for 499. Trevor apple is not messing around. Theyve already taken over phones, now watches, launching tv shows, theyre trying to take over video games. Next year popeyes, theyll come out with a chicken sandwich. Its so delicious, i just wish the battery lasted longer. laughter of course, the big product this year is the iphone 11, which also comes in pro and pro max, which i think used to be called plus and xs i think. Its horrible for consumers to keep up with and will mess up how kids learn to count. Yeah, its like, seven, eight, 10s, 10r, 11 pro. What comes after that . Youre going to have to wait till next year. laughter oh, and the highlights of the latest iphone is that it now has three cameras, which is super advanced because, you see, the top and the side lens combine separate angles to take the best composite photo and the bottom lens takes a picture of how you rea. cheers and applause since donald trump became president , there have been a few major policies that have defined his time in immigration, trade tariffs and, of course, his push to add Colonel Sanders to the supreme court. laughter but theres another set of trumps policies that havent likely gotten as much attention and it has to do with killing animals. The Trump Administration has lited an obama era ban on importing trophies from elephants killed in two african countries. The Trump Administration says it will issue a permit to a michigan to havey hunter to import the skin, and horns. The council has been replaced by mostly trophy hunters. We no the two trump sons were big game hunters, that theyre fans to have the sport. Trevor donald trump has made it much easier for people to hunt endangered animals in africa, which i guess for him is a total win win, right . First he gets to reverse something obama did, which he loves, and secondly, it means two of his least favorite children will be spending more time on the other side of the world. Boys. Byebye laughter by the way, i cant think of a more embarrassing way to die jrr eric trump. If i was a lion and they killed my husband, i would just lie about how it happened the lion would be, like, how did your husband tie . Was it a sky diving accident . Lions can skydive . No, apparently not. No. laughter and you may be asking, trevor, why is trophy hunting still even a thing in 2019 . Well, lets find out in another installment of if you dont know, now you know. cheers and applause trevor for as long as white people have been colonizing africa, trophy hunting has existed as a way for them to bring home souvenirs. In a way, i feel like us africans are partly to blame. We should have had a gift shop. laughter we should have had a gift shop. But while these pictures may have gone to praise in the 19 huns, these days they generate outrage. In recent years the hunting of big cats has sent shock waves around the globe. Outrage in this country over the killing of a beloved lion in zimbabwe by an american hunter. This photo from an african trophy hunt sparked outrage across the country. That same fire reignited when a trophy hunting couple posed kissing over the corpse of a lion they had just slain. Trevor im sorry, man. This is just disgusting. You killed an animal for fun and then you make out next to its dead body . Is this like a fetish . No, i honestly wonder this. Is this like a thing just for lions or do they do this every time theres a dead animal. Every time they see road kill on the highway, is this couple just, like, honey pull over, im so turned on right now. laughter its also disrespectful. Imagine if it happened the other way around. Like at a family funeral all of a sudden two lions popped out and started humping at your dads coffin. You wouldnt be happy with that. And whats interesting about trophy hunting is that we all assume people do it because they dont care about the animals, but according to the hunting community, they do this because they care too much. I know it sounds contradictory, but hunters love animals. Hunters are the ones giving so much back to preserving these wild species. A lot of people talk about conservation but hunters are the real conservationists. Everybody thinks that the easiest part is pulling the trigger and that the the hardest part. But you gain so much respect and appreciation for that animal trevor wow, thats one hell of a way to show your appreciation and respect. Imagine if your boss called you into his office and said, johnny, i want to let you know how much i appreciate and respect your hard work and thats why its my privilege laughter by the way, did you notice how that other woman arranged her lions . Like did you see that . I dont care if you hunt or not, thats just creepy. It looks like she shot the lions and then said, make it look like theyre about to have sex, and then make that deer look like its watching. laughter now, oh, another argument trophy hunters use is theyre actually getting rid of the slower, weaker animals who are holding back the rest of the herd. But that might not be the full story. Trophy hunters kill some of the biggest, most magnificent animals which is bad for the health of the species because genes may no longer be passed on to future generations. By taking those guys out of the gene pool, it weakens the genes of the entire population. So over the last 0 years, the average size of a male lion has dropped specifically because of trophy hunting. Despite what they say, trophy hunters actually like to target the strongest specimens, which i dont support but honestly i understand. Its called trophy hunting for a reason. You want it to look like you battled as an fa male to the death not like you snuck into its nursing home and smothered one of the lions with a pillow, like, shhhh go to sleep, car, go to sleep laughter this is the one time in the Animal Kingdom where it pays to be out of shape. One fat assed lion, whos laughing now, no one asked me to the prom but at least im not in the picture with don, jr. , ha ha laughter one of the main arguments trophy hunters give is their hobby helps local villages, but upon closer inspection, thats not necessarily true. Critics question whether countries that promote trophy hunts manage that money properly. The 2013 report found that just 3 of hunting revenue ends up in local communities. In system ba zimbabwe, corrud bloated democracy promote money for those in need. How much money is the Community Getting . Nothing, absolutely nothing. Trevor the truth, is unfortunately, the money from these hunts doesnt go to these communities. Oftentimes, it stays at the top with the people who run the trophy hunting game. To be honest, most of these claims dont add up for me because another thing hunters love to say zits not just the money, they say their hunting provides meat for the local villagers. Yeah, because apparently, before the white hunters came, all afternoonens could do was just look at the animals. Afternoonens would say, oh, look at the meat inside that buffalo. Huh . If only there was a way to get inside it. I guess well have to wait for the white man to show up. One day, huh . One day laughter thats trophy hunting in a nutshell. As weak as the arguments may seem, there will always be people who think its a good things, which made us think if its working so well for africa maybe we should let america enjoy the benefits. Dear america for the past two decades you have come to america to shoot our animals and you say you do this to help us we are so grateful we want to return the favor. You see all these stray dogs and cats running across your country . Im going to kill them thats right, as part of a new program, rich africans will pay to hunt stray dogs an cats in america, and for every dog we shoot, a portion of the profits will go to American Communities up. Up to 3 and i know what youre thinking. What about my pets . Im going to kill them, too yes, pets that have reached old age will also be hunted by rich africans. No longer watch fluffles struggle to climb the stairs, instead he will be shot and mounted in a nigerians man cave the best part, after we shoot the dog, we will donate the carcass so no more American Children go without school lunch its a win win oh, what a cute dog, you get a head start barking oh, im going to kill it. Trevor youre we canal, america. Roy wood, jr. , well be right back cheers and applause applebees handcrafted burgers now starting at 7. 99. Now thats eatin good in the neighborhood yof your daily routine. Lf so why treat your mouth any differently . Listerine® completes the job by preventing plaque, early gum disease, and killing up to 99. 9 of germs. Try listerine® and for onthego, try listerine® ready tabs™ boom goes the dynamite, club yoko plays ] feels like im taking flight. [sfx poof] [sfx squeaking eraser sound effect. ] i am who i wanna be who i wanna be who i wanna be. Im a strong individual ya sing it louder. I am, oooh oooh oooh oooh Ehhh Ehhh Ehhh ehhh i am, oooh oooh oooh oooh i am trevor welcome back to the daily show. cheers and applause technology, its all around us. We spend most of our waking hours into acting with it, but could it get worse . Could Technology End up inside us . Well dulce sloan reports. Im here in wisconsin, land of beer, cheese and reallife youtopian technology that will control your every move. A wisconsin based marked announced plans to install a microchip in its employees. This company is shoving microchip in its employees and this is spreading worldwide. In sweden, thousands already have microchip implants they use in daily lives. Im going to put a Harriet Tubman and freeze white people. I had to put an end to this evil technology. The removal wouldnt be pretty, luckily i spent a summer working as an unlicensed proctologist. Hey bend over im here to swipe your chip. What are you talking about . The chip they put in you, im going to take it out. I volunteered. What . who else volunteered to get this chip . Even you, black dude . Come on, man so i sat face to face for the man responsible of running a company of chipped employees. Trevor so where exactly is this chip implanted . Its right there. Trevor thats not where i thought yall put it. Where did you think i put it . Not important. How did you brainwash them . We thought we could do something to literally change the world. I can literally with a swipe of the hand do anything. You can start your car with it. Make payments, unlock doors. I have been able to unlock doors my whole life. I just go like this, its easier. Dont you think youre helping people become more lazy . I swipe everything. I swipe on my phone to meet these mens, i pay with my phone, why do i need a chip in my hand. I wont forget my hand. Weve all been a wood chipper, too close to an industrial fan. What if i could save your life . Lets say you have a heart issue, diabetes, dementia, a Senior Citizen to give them the peace of mind that at all times i know where they are and we can look at their vital signs. Thats life alert the lady has fallen, cant get up, push the button, somebody come get me. But if the person passed out, they wont be able to push the button. While an excellent point, im not fully convinced. This is the only chip i want in my body, patrick. So good. Just wait till you see what it can do. What can it do . You can buy snacks with a scan of your hand. Holy shit it works now i know this chip initially scared the hell out of me. Go seeing it in action, its a game changer. How do i get me one of these . So basically well just clean it with a prep stick and what ill do, when im ready, ill push it in, insert the chip, pull it out, put the cap back on and were done. Give me one i was entering a new life where anything was possible. Like swiping right and left on men in real life. Having doors open for me. This was the future. But according to tech journalists ian sure, i made a big mistake. Theres a lot of stuff we need to think about where this is going and what could happen as a result of it. Let me tell you how my life has changed since ive gotten my chip. Get snacks with a wave of my hand. I can start a car, as soon as i buy a car. All of this is great, you get on board. That may be the case but whenever you put a foreign object into your body, it can be dangerous. Not all objects. wink think ouch time i save. In 20 years, i probably saved five to eight minutes. My point is that you have to actually take it out if you want to take it out. I never thought about removing it would this be like the 127 hour situation . Thats what you get for hiding by yourself james franco. What about the worst, worst Case Scenarios . People could go to extreme lengths to get your information and you could get charged for stuff you didnt intend to buy. This is hackable, people could steal your information. You may not even know when its being accessed or for what. People will be able to track you. People are crazy. Someone could cut your hand off to use your chip, because its implanted, you cant get away from it. Oh, my god this is the worst episode of black mir ever and i saw the one with the pig. Stealing peoples ships, you got to lose your hand and your car. Worst of all, you think youre just dancing but youre buying items you put in your shopping cart when you were drunk maybe this will be the normal of the future and everyone will have a chipped hand, but right now im not ready to be straked or hacked. I have to get rid of this thing. Jesus aaahhh aaahhh cheers and applause trevor dulce sloan, everybody. Well be right back cheers and applause dad always wanted me to travel the world. Someday. Huh . [ low growl ] [ gasping ] whoa. You sure dont belong here. Hes just a kid. He needs to get home. Are you crazy . Its 2,000 miles away. [ low growl ] there are people looking for you. You can do magic . Whoa. I promised to take everest home and hes not home yet. [ screaming ] Billie Jean King serving. At verizon, were building the most powerful 5g experience for america. Thats why the nfl chose verizon. Because they need the massive capacity of 5g with ultra wideband, so more screaming, streaming, posting fans. Can experience 5g all at once. This is happening in 13 stadiums all across the country. Now if verizon 5g can do this for the nfl. Imagine what it can do for you. [ soft piano music playing ] mm, uh, what do you do for fun . Not this. Oh, what am i into . Mostly progressives name your price tool. Helps people find Coverage Options based on their budget. Flo has it, i want it, its a whole thing, and shes right there. Yeah, shes my ride. This dates lame. He has pics of you on his phone. Theyre very tasteful. cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show. My guest tonight is the president of microsoft and the coauthor of the new book tools and weapons the promise and the peril of the digital age, please welcome brad smith. cheers and applause welcome to the show. Thank you, trevor. Trevor lets jump straight into it. Tools and weapons, the promise and the peril of the digital age, that really sounds like the two extremes of how people think about technology, tools and weapons. Why tid you choose that title . Well, it is because that is exactly what Digital Technology has become. Think about it as a tool. We use it in our daily lives. Artificial intelligence will probably help us find a cure for cancer. Trevor right. But at the same time, think about the challenges for our privacy, the threats to security, think about the future. We need to think about both sides of the equation, and fundamentally, i think we need to recognize across the tech sector that if your Technology Changes the world, you have to step up, you have to assume a responsibility to help address the world youve helped to create. Trevor it seems like tech is everything and whats interesting in the book is how you break it down into different spheres. For instance you talk about a. I. And the ethics of a. I. At microsoft you are getting into a. I. Now but do you think a. I. Has the potential to become evil or is that just something people say to scare us from moving into the future . Any tool can be turned into a weapon a broom can be used to sweep the floor or hit you over the head trevor thats my mom, yes. laughter think now of any tool thats so much more powerful. By
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