Democrats in 14 states across america will decide whether the democratic nominee should be an old man or an even older man. laughter now, remember, super tuesday is super important because whichever nominee comes out gets a big boost in the race for the democratic no, maam nays, and you also get all the losing candidates when youch money. Lets kick it off with a few results. Vermont was easily won by the original founder of the state Bernie Sanders. laughter already off to a win. applause and we know that colorado has also gone his way. But its looking like tonight is all about joe biden because black voters just put him over the top all across the south. In virginia, he won by 30 , and hes also been declared the winner in North Carolina and in alabama. So right now, black people are embracing biden so hard, i wouldnt be surprised if he rolls up to his next debate speech just like wakanda for, like you know the thing, you know the thing. laughter we can also report Michael Bloomberg won the territory of american samoa, yeah, which means he gets their delegates and full control of their girl scout cookies. Its not thin mints, but its something. Every network tonight can give you the primary results as they happen, but here at the daily show, weve invested in technology to predict who will win even before the votes are counted. Lets turn to Senior Analyst ronny chieng, everybody cheers and applause ronnys standing by at our stateoftheart the daily show vote caster. Ronny, lets not waste any time. What have you got for us . Thanks, trevor. Whos won the biggest prize of the night . California. Oh, sorry. I just need to log in here. Shit. Sorry. Got to remember my password here. Trevor put in the password. Weve got to go. Were live, were live. Weve got to go. I havent used this thing in, like, four years now. What was it . What was i into four years ago . All my passwords have something to do with pop culture. What was it . Was it dead pool or lincoln . Was that four years ago . It was a great movie either way, but hiddleswift . Trevor hiddleswift . Yeah, tom and taylor. I thought they were going to make it. I really think thats what the password is but i dont want to get locked out. Trevor click forgot password, ronny jeez, someones in a rush, fine. Ill click forgot password here. Oh, damn, security question. Um who is your best friend . Trevor ronny, thats easy, we dont have time for this. Write my name, you always say were best friends, write my name, lets go. Well. I mean youre a good friend i mean, youre definitely the best friend in the room, but youre not, like, security question best friend, right . Someone who just comes to mind middle east, who is it, like, roy . Is it desi . Definitely not michael kosta. Trevor im so sorry, everyone. Well figure it out and check this with ronny chieng later. As it stands, it looks like this super tuesday is a lot more dramatic than previously anticipated because remember, a few weeks ago, peopler people we saying bernie was going to clean up. But after biden dominated south carolina, he was neck and neck with bernie, and what propelled him further was help from a few friends. Former Vice President joe biden is riding into super tuesday on a fresh wave of support. Three rivals, pete buttigieg, Amy Klobuchar and beto orourke made lastminute endorsements before toads critical votes. At aat a dueling rally, senator sanders spoke in minnesota. To all of petes millions of supporters, the door is open, come on in trevor the door is open but close it after you walk in, air conditioning isnt cheap quickly, quickly, quickly but, yes, last night was big for joe biden because he got all the endorsements of his former rivals. Buttigieg came out to say joe was the only one who could unite the party. Klobuchar came out to say joe was the best choice for moderate. And beto orourke came out to remind people he still exists. I was the guy who dropped the f bombs you dont have to be a genius to notice that the Democratic Party is at a crossroads. On one side, bernies revolution. On the other side, bidens return to normalcy. Some people fear this could be a rift that destroys the democrats and donald trump wants to do his part to make sure that happens. I think it was rigged against bernie, but maybe hell pull it through. It was rigged against me four years ago and i pulled it through. I think its rigged against bernie. Buttigieg just went out and said something, and probably theyll say, hey, if i win, ill put you in the administration. Thats called quid pro quo, right . Quid pro quo. Trevor yeah, something tells me the only thing trump learned from the entire ukraine scandal was the phrase quid pro quo. Its almost like trump has one of the word of the day calendars but every word is a crime he personally committed. If you ask me this whole nomination is being embezellpd. laughter but trump isnt the only thing plaguing the Democratic Party. The coronavirus is out there and theyre concerned democratic voters wont turn out the way people expect, because they dont want to pick up the same pen a thousand people have coughed on. To put the voters at ease, the Democratic Party improvised. Super worries on this super tuesday not over how voting is going but how the virus is spreading. Weve given hand sanitizers, sanitary wipes, gloves to the poll workers, instructions from the c. D. C. About how to use hand sanitizer. Its just proper hygiene. Some are sending greeters to peoples cars to take their ballots from them so nervous voters dont have to interact with the public. The polling locations arent busy inside because of driveby voting. Are you changing from klobuchar to buttigieg . Yeah. So youre going to mark it differently. Yes. Can we the you who . No. A no answer trevor because of croes, polling sites are giving people hand sanitizer, gloves and some states have even instituted driveby voting, which is apparently not as cool as it sounds because when they said driveby voting, i thought it means someone pulls out of nowhere and said, this is for medicare, bitch aaahhh aaahhh i voted, i voted while Election Officials are trying to limit the spread of the virus between voters, last night congressman ilhan omar seemed to be going for a different approach. Are you all ready for this revolution . cheers and applause i want each one of you in the audience to take a quick moment with me. Hold the hand of the person to your right. audience reacts its going to be all right. Trevor no, its not what are you doing . This is, like, step by step instructions for spreading coronavirus okay, now lick your finger and put it in your neighbors nose laughter and at first i was, like, why is ilhan omar doing this . This is crazy. But then i was, like, oh, man, this is actually genius when you think about it because just think about it, think about it, youve got all of those people in that room, right . And what are all those people going to need after the germs can be exchanged . Free healthcare. Who do you get free healthcare from . Bernie sanders. Boom. 3d check. 3d check. cheers and applause all right, ive just been told ronny chieng finally has his vote caster back up and running and we can see which democratic has won the big one, california. So, ronny, i guess this means you figured out who your best friend is . Yes, yes, i did. Turns out phoebe. She was always my favorite. But now im stuck in this stupid capture thing. Let me walk you through this. So youre supposed to click the squares that contain traffic lights. Trevor everyone knows how it works. Click on the traffic lights. Move on. Okay, einstein. Its not that easy. Okay, this one is definitely a traffic light, and over here is obviously contains a traffic light, right, but this is where it starts to get tricky because this ones, like, clipping the edge over here, is this a traffic light . Youve got the pole here, is the pole by the traffic light . I mean, is this a trick question . You know what . Okay, you know what . Let me just ask the audience, okay, who thinks this is a traffic light . cheers and applause trevor no, dont encourage it ronny, why are you making this such a big deal . Just click the poll. Who cares . I care because if i get this wrong, im a robot. laughter trevor ronny, we just want you to tell us who won california. California . I cant even tell you if im a robot right now, okay . Trevor you have your existential crisis and well come back when you know whats actually going on. Im so sorry, guys. This is horrible. This isnt just a big night for bernie, biden and the the coronavirus. Perhaps the candidate who has the most riding on tonight is Mike Bloomberg, former new york city mayor and undefeated limbo champion. When he joined the race in november, bloomberg came in with the bull strategy of completely ignoring the first four primaries and betting his entire campaign on making a big splash on super tuesday. Hes been spending a lot of money. The candidates spend almost a billion dollars on the airways. Bloomberg accounts for half the spending. That spending includes more than 1 million a day on facebook. Bloomberg spent approximately 82 every second just in the month of january. Bidens campaign buying only 4,000 of digital ads in california, while bloomberg has spent 78 million on ads in that state alone. Bloomberg has hired 2400 staffers cornering the market. Bloombergs also snuffing out all the good staffers by paying them twice what other campaigns offer as well as throwing in ipads, iphones and fully furnished luxury apartments for them to stay in. Bloomberg spent 11,000 on sushi which ecates to 9,000 sushi roles from the new york restaurant they ordered from. Trevor 11,000 on sushi, bloomberg spent . For that kind of money, i should be eating the little mermaid. laughter for bloomberg, spending 11,000 on soichi is nothing. This guy is so rich, he did something over the weekend that no other candidate has the money nor the ego to do. He bought out an intercommercial break. Mike bloomberg actually ran an ad yesterday, about a Million Dollars, a 3minute ad designed to look like an oval office address. Good evening. I know this has been a worrisome week for many americans, the coronavirus is spreading and the economy is taking a hit. As americans we have faced many challenges before and overcome them together by looking out for one another, and i am confident that is how we will get through this one as well. Im Michael Bloomberg, and i approve this message. Trevor you know, theres rich, and then theres billionaire rich, because you realize this guy made his own oval office and then bought his own president ial address. I didnt even know you could do that. It looks legit. I bet some people were confused. Trump was watching that like, shh the president is talking shut up, everybody sir, youre the president. Im Mike Bloomberg . laughter so bloomberg spent over a million to convince all of us hes the man to defeat coronavirus. But then a video bloomberg released yesterday of him eating pizza suggests that he actually may be part of the problem. laughter he liquid his fingers, and then he goes back and touches everything else. That is so disgusting. I bet the coronavirus watched that and said, oooh, i need to wash my hands oh laughter so just remember, Mike Bloomberg has spent over half a Million Dollars trying to win this nomination, but all that money seems to have bought him is people digging up skeletons from his past and the debate where Elizabeth Warren completely burned him to the ground. In fact that night was such a humiliating one donald trump even made it part of his latest comedy routine. She was really mean to minimike, the way she treated him. He didnt know what hit him hes going, get me off this stage get me off get me off of this stage laughter chanting trevor oh, shit that was some pretty good comedy. I dont know what im more impressed by, trumps bloomberg impression or the fact he was able to do a squat laughter applause that was pretty slick so, after 15 weeks of everyone asking the question can a billionaire buy the election, tonight, we might have gotten our answer. Michael bloomberg is having a terrible night. Bloomberg is sinking like a rock. Mike bloomberg who is fair to say not having the night he thought he paid for. Campaign officials tell my colleague josh leaderman that bloomberg will now reassess the campaign, and once the data comes in trevor thats right, folks, looks like, yet again, bloomberg has come up short. Wow laughter actually, i feel bad for this guy, man. Think about it. He came into this race with 60 billion and now he has, what, 59. 5 billion . I would not want to be him right now. laughter before we go to an ad break, lets quickly check in with ronny chieng and the vote caster and see if he can give us anything. Ronny, please tell me youre up and running. Yes, im in now and lets find out who won california. Mmm. Oh, damn. Sorry. Okay, we just got to wait for this ad to play. Trevor ads . Why didnt you just pay for the Premium Version . Because some of us dont have 12. 99. Sorry, forbes. Its an ad. Its over before you know it. Just press skip and oh, damn, sorry. I accidentally opened the ad. Okay, damn. You know what . This ones on me. My bad. My bad. Actually, you know what . Thats actually a pretty dope jacket. Ive actually been looking for a jacket like that. How does it know . You talk about it and it just shows up. Trevor are you being serious now ronny . Yeah, i think leather is coming back, spring is here, i think i can pull this off. Trevor so sorry, this has been a complete waste of time and now we have to go for a short ad break. Why dont you just skip the ad . Trevor shut up, ronny . back with more results from super tuesday dont go away cheers and applause were jack daniels. The oldest, realest, loudest, quietest, friendliest, lonesomest, proudest, mellowest, least likely to give up on a good tradition, most likely to make it how we make it whiskiest whiskey from lynchburg, tennessee. No. Uh uh, no way. Come on. No. No. N. Ni ni, no no only discover has no annual fee on any card. Yeah. Yeah. With great deals, get ready to turn your dreams into reality. Right now, save big with an incredible deal on the toyota of your dreams. Offers end march 31st. To learn more about all our great deals, visit toyota. Com. Ready, set, go get your toyota today. Toyota. Lets go places. With the same refreshing taste as the original. But without any of the sugar. Ahhhhhhh heres mtn dew zeroooooo. Im am thirsty cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show, where were coming to you live for super tuesday. So lets check in on some more results. Joe biden has come out on top in oklahoma. Hes also won the state of arkansas, and heres some exciting news, Tulsi Gabbard has won 3 in a scratchoff Lottery Ticket thats so cool i never win in those so weve gotten results from a number of states but the state of the night is still up in the air, california. I feel like im going to regret this but lets try one more time with ronny chieng at the vote caster. Ronny, do you know whos winning yet . Yeah, trevor, this guy cheers and applause do you believe that . That never happens. Trevor i dont care about your red leather jacket. Just tell us whos winning in california, please. Oh, yeah, yeah. You got it, trevor. Lets start in de almeida alla y in california. I need the cord. The usc, the cord no one has. Does anyone have that . laughter trevor thanks a lot, ronny chieng. We spent the night talking about the candidates but campaigns are much more than the candidates. They are staffers, donors and everyday people supporting the candidates. Our own desi lydic caught up with a specific reporter contributing to his candidate in his own special way. With super tuesday at an end, lets salute the real heros of this election, Campaign Volunteers working tirelessly for candidates they believe in, and one Elizabeth Warren fan has been going more than just giving you flyers to throw away. Anyone who shows me proof of donation to Elizabeth Warrens campaign i give them one month access to my personal porn account. Can you unpack that for me . Yeah. Ou know what i mean. Es. I love warren, i love her policies, so i give free access to my only fans account and i post videos of myself having sex, bleep ing bleep g bleep ing a dominos pizza. Let me get this straight. Youre doing bleep , bleep , bleep , b, bleep , and a dominos piza for Elizabeth Warren . That is correct. But what else it about warren that made kenny take matters into his own hand . Number one, one of our policies specifically is healthcare. I am a type one diabetic and im going to turn 26 in two months and lose my health insurance. Terrible not only that but 26 is basically retirement age for a porn star. Yet queeny is still willing to give up his earnings for warren. But how much are we talking . I charge 9. 99. For a year . A month. Thats more than disney plus. I mean, if elsa starts shoving a dildo up her buttt maybe disney plus would start charging more. If i could see baby yodas butt hole, i would max out for warren, too. People think baby yodas cute but i know he nasty. Yeah. Dont look at me like that. Okay. Hes 50. Hes just supposed to look like a baby. Okay. And i started this Campaign Last wednesday and i have raised close to if not exceeded about 6,000. Youve raised 6,000 since wednesday . Yeah. All these people literally just want to see my butt hole. And to raise money for Elizabeth Warren . Absolutely that as well. S more and more candidates drop out, you can just feel the general election poking through. Its obviously kenny is flexible, but does that flexibility extend to his political loyalties . Has Elizabeth Warren always been your candidate or did you ever think about doing a yang bang . No, i am team warren all the way. What if a more moderate candidate wins the nomination . Would that just be, like, over the shirt stuff or i dont know even know if i would have a sex drive at that point. You could experiment. I mean, have you ever tried the sex position where you blindfold yourself and just stumble around and keep getting in your own way . Its called the biden. Yeah, not my favorite. laughter blue no matter who. Kennys willing to put his ass on the line for any democratic candidate. Do you have any advice for young people w