[cheers and applause] desus yo welcome to the daily show im your host, desus nice. [cheers and applause] thank you. Lets hear it. Lets hear it. [cheers and applause] and for those of you at home who might be confused, im not charlamagne. Im the other bald black guy. Unless i [bleep] it up, in which case, im charlamagne. Im so excited to be back in my hometown, new york city. [cheers and applause] listen, i have a question. Is the bronx in the building . [cheers and applause] what about brooklyn . [cheers and applause] what about Staten Island . [boos] desus thank you. I told security not to let them in. Listen, weve got a great show for you tonight so lets get into some headlines [cheers and applause] look, i know theres a lot going on in the world right now. Theres so much news. But its also my first day. Im still getting used to everything, like where the cameras are. So lets ease into shit. So lets ease into everything with some sports news. And by sports news, i mean taylor swift americas sweetheart. [cheers and applause] she did some charity over the weekend by shining a spotlight on the little unknown sport called football. We begin with taylor swifts secret handshake . Swift attended another Kansas City Chiefs game to see her rumored boyfriend, travis kelce, and she was sitting with brittany mahomes, wife of quarterback patrick mahomes. They broke out a celebration handshake after the chiefs touchdown. [laughter] desus yo, she really nailed that. You can see her concentrating too. Slap, slap, turn, bump you got this, girl also, props to brittany mahomes. She leveled up she went from being the quarterbacks wife to taylor swifts bff thats, like, the highest level a white woman can get i will say, its a good thing taylor is dating someone on a good team. If she was dating someone on the jets, she wouldnt have a touchdown handshake. Shed just have a reassuring shoulder tap. Well get em next time. You cant win em all. Or any of em. But lets move on to another legend. Hes not selling out stadiums or dominating headlines. But he is an inspiration to millions of people around the world who want to skip out on a check. Weve heard of dining and dashing, but how about dying and dashing . This lithuanian man was arrested in spain after allegedly faking heart attacks in at least 20 restaurants across the country to avoid paying his bill. Police say he would order food and drinks, and then perform a theatrical fake heart attack that fooled at least 19 restaurants. That was until staff at the 20th restaurant caught on. The bill he was caught on was 37 for some paella and shots of whiskey. Desus [laughs] first of all, look at that guy. Look at this legend. Are we sure he isnt having a heart attack . He looks like hes dying and being born at the same time. I dont know whats worse, that he was acting out heart attacks or that he was doing it during the actors strike. Stealing is wrong, scabbing is unforgivable, my guy. My other question is, how far did he actually take it . Did he actually go to the hospital . Or was he just like, im dying im dying its fine, ill just grab an uber. But brock set up. The bread too, please. But you know this only works in a country with universal health care, though. In the u. S. , people pretend they are not having heart attacks to save money. Dont call an ambulance. I will sleep on it. [applause] all right, lets get into some real news. Lets talk politics. Sheila jackson lee is a congresswoman from texas whos running for mayor of houston. Htown. Although, based on some leaked audio that just came out, you know whos not voting for her staff. Where was it . What date was it . Uh, jerome took it upstairs. I have to call him. I dont want you to do a [bleep] thing. I want you to have a [bleep] brain. I want you to have read it. I want you to say congresswoman, with such and such date. Thats what i want. Thats the kind of staff that i want to have. I need to ensure my schedule and, you know, if boo boo did it, shitass did it, [bleep] did it. And nobody knows a [bleep] thing in my office okay . Nothing i gave it to you. Your job was to get it on the calendar. Not to, oh, jerome has it. Okay . So when i called jerome, he only sitting up there like a fat ass stupid idiot talking about what the [bleep] he doesnt know. Okay . Both of yall are [bleep] ups. [indistinct] its the worst shit that i could hav ever had put together. Two god damn big ass children [bleep] idiots serve no god damn purpose. Desus god damn listen, if you get an older black woman to talk to you like that, you [bleep] all the way up. The only way you get out of that is fake a heart attack. It is nice to know democrats can get angry about something. Because usually they are really meek. I guess we wont pay off student loans, oh, well. Meanwhile, shes like, hey, which fat ass messed up my calendar . Damn it, jerome [applause] and you know what . Cspan would be the number one channel in america if congress could talk like this. [applause and laughter] good afternoon, esteemed colleagues and mother[bleep]. Lot of you dumbass [bleep] face shit rags been running your nasty little mouths regarding spending bill hr337. You little shits really are as stupid as you look. I yield my time. [cheers and applause] good news for sheila because congress has way bigger issues to deal with right now. Republicans are trying to figure out a new speaker of the house. And surprise, surprise, even republicans dont like other republicans. On friday, House Republicans dropped jim jordan of ohio as the nominee in a secret ballot after his three failed attempts to get elected. Hes out. Hes out. At least nine republicans are now vying to be speaker of the house, setting the stage for a new Candidate Forum tomorrow. Among the contenders, Byron Donalds of florida, retired marine corps Lieutenant General jack bergman of michigan and majority whip tom emmer of minnesota, whos backed by ousted speaker Kevin Mccarthy. Desus thats right. They got nine republicans running for speaker now. Ill be honest, i kind of want to root for byron. I feel like he might be my guy. I mean, no particular reason. But for real, though, look at this group of contenders. Looks like someone put a bottle of hersheys syrup in the mayonnaise aisle. Yo, all these white dudes look the same in fact, three of them are the same guy, and you didnt even notice. [laughter and applause] thats how similar they all are if you ask me, byron can win this thing easy. All he has to do is say, vote for me and ill let you say it. Yeah, you know that im talking about. Oh, im just kidding, you know they already say it. Listen, for more on the race or speaker, we go live to capitol with desi desi lydic. Desi, what is your take on the situation . In Political Science terms, republicans are all kind of [bleep] up right now. Although, to be honest, the situation isnt bad for many americans. When the house doesnt have a speaker, we dont have to pay any bills. Desus um, im almost certain thats not true. You have to pay your bills. No, i dont think so. They cant pass bills. Therefore, i dont have to pay bills. It is Political Science. Its okay. Its your first day. Desus cool, cool, all right. Its been a few weeks now. What can republicans do to find a speaker . Republicans can do what women have been doing for centuries. They can settle [applause] what . They are not getting any younger. It is time to except a speaker who is just good enough. Maybe his resume isnt as tall as you had hoped for. Maybe he sends you we are pictures of his caucus. Or maybe he is jim jordan. Well, tough. That is what settling is all about. Either hes got a job or hes good and bad. It is never both. He either has a Good Relationship with his mom, or hes good in bed. Its never both. He can either read, or hes good in bed. Its never both. Why cant it ever be both . Desus yeah, im learning a lot about you, desi. But theyre going to have to pick someone. Who do you think they should pick . Oh, that is their choice, desus. I would never tell republicans what they should do with their legislative body. [cheers and applause] no, no. All i am going to say is, time is of the essence. And their political clock is ticking, okay . Maybe, just maybe, Kevin Mccarthy was the one that got away. You know . They had a mediocre thing going and they took it for granted. Look, i know he lies and he is not good with money, and yet, he voted to overturn the election, and hes also probably terrible in bed and cant read, but look, it is cuffing season. For the love of god, just turn off the lights and vote [cheers and applause] desus desi lydic, everybody [cheers and applause] so good. Listen, when we come back, i will be some real new yorkers. So stick around [cheers and applause] the first time you made a sale online with godaddy was also the first time you heard of a town named dinosaur, colorado. We just got an order from dinosaur, colorado. Start an easy to build, powerful website for free with a partner that always puts you first. Start for free at godaddy. Com today im doing the degree gray tshirt challenge. Lets put degree advanced and old spice to the test, and see if i get any sweat marks. Final result . Only one winner here. No sweat marks. Degree advanced. Keeps working when others stop. Dramatic music [flight attendant alert] [baby crying] [snoring] [luggage rattling] [baby crying] dramatic music upbeat music begins for everyone whos endured the bad seat, finally, sweet, sweet redemption. The lexus tx. Threerow luxury that treats every seat like the best seat. all aboard ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay youre welcome, america. Man, i wish i was out there. Lets unretire. Why not . [yelling] dan marino . [record needle scratch] youre alright . 22. 22 [whistle] delay of game number 13 im good right here, bro. should we . Dont even think about it. [cheers and applause] desus yes welcome back to the daily show. If you know anything about me, i am a real new yorker. I dont know if any of you are all real new yorkers so i hit the street to find out. What up . It is desus nice. I am on the streets of new york to find out who was a real new yorker. We will find out if it is about being born here or if its about experience here. Follow me. You consider yourself a real new yorker . Definitely, yes. I was born here, brooklyn, brooklyn hospital. Desus thats how you know hes a real new yorker. He told me the hospital, i did not ask him. Desus are you new yorker . I consider myself a new yorker. To be when you consider yourself a new yorker . I moved here from hong kong when i was four years old. Desus is there one event where you are like, i went through that, i am a you new yorker . The whole experience. This in itself is an experience. Desus what is the most new york thing youve ever seen . Probably, when jayz desus as a new yorker, what borough has the worst guys . The worst guys . I would say the bronx. [laughter] desus whats wrong with the bronx . I just feel like the bronx is dirty, no offense. Desus what about uptown on the bronx . Ever been . I dont frequent the bronx, bro. Desus here we go with the bronx. Its afar ass train ride. The craziest thing i thought, i was on fordham road and grand concourse and a crack head went right in the middle of the street and took a short shed. That is a craziest thing i had seen. Desus is not crazy for fordham road . For fordham road, yeah. Desus as every new yorker has one of these, have to ask you what is yours . Your go to bodega order . Chopped cheese. Desus chopped cheese. The hero or the role . The role. Desus too much meat . Yeah, yeah. Let me get a blt. Mayonnaise, salt, pepper, extra tomato. You want me to say bacon, eggs, and she is. Desus i dont hear that a stereotypical. That is what you want me to him. Desus if you say that, you are a transplant or ever cover crop. Which of these readings is a better rating, and a or c . A means it is clean, the rats that work there have benefits, that kind of thing. Do you know what the c means . No. Desus it is supposed to mean the place is disgusting, there is right here in the food. Wrong. Probably some of the best food, succulent, you will get the chicken off the bone. Desus what is the best restaurant rating . [laughter] okay. Amy and celine, c means you know. They dont give you no attitude, they aint got a c. Chinese shot what the b, the best chicken wings. B stands for the best. Are you a knicks fan . Die hard. Let [bleep] go. That is what i love about new yorkers, optimism. When the knicks win for championship, what are you going to vandalize . Me personally, im going to flip the Christopher Columbus statue at 49th street. Get him out of there. If you have one piece of advice for anyone about to come to new york, what would you say . Mind your business and you wont get [bleep] up. Mind your business. Mind your business. Mind your [bleep] business. I think you pass the test. You are a real new yorker. About to put on a new yankee fit and some air force ones. Lets go. Go even though you completely destroyed the bronx and you called us dirty, you said we are fatherless, i recognize you area true new yorker. Yes. Thank you. The talent that was giving to me by giuliani, i now proclaim you a true new yorker. This guy is the real deal right here. Pleasure. Run for mayor one day. Lets go mets, lets go knicks. Go what does it take to be a new yorker . You have to have a lot of great and you have to work hard, play hard. You have to be opinionated, hold your own. Using your own standard of definition of new yorker, you pass the test. Thanks thank you. You are now a true new yorker. I want you to walk down the street and pump it to someone and not apologize. Here we go. Here we go. [cheers and applause] desus all right, when we come back, well be talking to a real new yorker. Congresswoman alexandria ocasiocortez will be joining me on the show. Dont go away [cheers and applause] wake up to a scrambler a perfectly mixed up breakfast so water the dog walk the plant and face the day head on scramble your morning. Scramble your morning with new oscar mayer scramblers. He hits his mark center stage and is crushed by a baby grand piano. Youre replacing me . Customize and save with liberty bibberty. He doesnt even have a mustache. Only pay for what you need. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Welcome to autozone. What are you working on today . My cars starting kinda slow. Lets see. Just needs a charge. Its free. Are you sure its free . Positive. Get in the zone, autozone dont let Student Loan Debt hold you back. Refi at sofi. Com you could save thousands and get to your goals faster. Sofi. Get your money right. [cheers and applause] desus welcome back to the daily show. My guest tonight represents new yorks 14th congressional district, which includes parts of the bronx and queens. Please welcome congresswoman alexandria ocasiocortez aoc [cheers and applause] how are you . Hey, everybody [cheers and applause] desus aoc. Listen, always good to see you. Always good to see you, bronx side. Desus that is our formal introduction, not that b. S. Introduction. How have you been . Ive been good. Its been a little crazy. Its been a wild time in congress. What has it been like for you . I see you in social media and you are like, its a sunny day, and people are like i hate you. [laughs] you know, it is not that different than the 6 train at midnight sometimes. Desus got you. You know, you get that practice. Desus but you still love what you do . I do. In fact, i think i love it now more than ever. Desus i have to ask you about the House Speaker debacle. Yes. Desus from the outside, i have no idea what is going in. Can you really quickly explain it . So republicans kicked out their speaker, and now they cant find a new guide to run their group project. Desus yes. And they are all come alight, fighting with each other about it. Desus got you. For a local in the bronx, how does this affect them . So in terms of how this affects the bronx, we have a clock ticking on a government shutdown. And if this gets us to a point of a government shutdown, i mean, that is real, right . That is when we start seeing tsa and airports get affected. That is when people could potentially miss their checks. So this is something that is really important for everybody to make sure that we get that pressure on. But also, we need to make sure that we dont have people like jim jordan or extremists because whoever takes over the house could potentially put our democracy in danger when it comes to certifying or r recertifying an election or so on. Desus got you. People say congress doesnt get anything done right now because of the shutdown. What were you guys getting done before . I know you have been doing some work. Okay, that is an excellent question. I will say, from when republicans took over to now, they provided a lot of mean content. Desus yes. But before that, when democrats were in the majority, we passed the largest climate package in american history. Desus okay. [cheers and applause] we capped insulin at 35 for my people we made sure that when the pandemic went through, we started the program of child tax credits. Now we have some folks in the senate shut that down but when we take back the senate, we want to make sure that we reestablish and expand those programs back again too. [cheers and applause] desus okay. We are able to do some things, they are on the struggle bus a little bit. Desus put some respect in my name. I feel you. We just did about the piece about the people running for House Speaker. Who are you voting for . None of them, i can tell you that. [laughs] i will be casting my vote for hakeem jeffries. [cheers and applause] desus all right. Shouts out to the parents, the immigrants are the lifeblood of new york city. Our mayor, eric adams, he said we can handle anymore here. You represent one of the most diverse districts in congress. What can be done at a federal level to help . Well, heres the thing, is that i think, weather, from all parts of the political spectrum, one of the biggest issues that we have when it comes to immigration is the fact that we have an undocumented population. Now you can fix that by trying to build a wall or you can fix that by trying to document people and create a path to citizenship. [cheers and applause] and we will have folks that might say, look at these systems that are shelter system has weight and things like that, but one of the reasons that our public systems experience weight is because people dont have a documented and reliable path to work and sustain themselves. Just like all of our ancestors did, and our grandparents and grand del my great grandparents. I always love when people talk about, oh, my great grandfather came and he wrote his name wrong on a book and now he is a citizen. Like, can we put two and two together, that our processes today are so difficult, that they make our immigration process difficult. But that doesnt mean that immigrants do not create a positive contribution to o