Transcripts For CSPAN2 Diane Rehm When My Time Comes 202407

CSPAN2 Diane Rehm When My Time Comes July 13, 2024

Tour like politics and prose printed. [applause]. Get ready to clap again in a nonprofit. [applause]. In your attendance at events like this is truly vital to us ond we literally would not be here without you so we just want you to know how much we appreciate you and your choices. I am so excited to introduce tonights event because it is not a secret among my friends or coworkers how much i love and admire diane rehm. Shes native a washington out person and sheas began her radio career in 1973 as a volunteer for w a amu is going into the producer post and dc icon we all know today. She is the author of several books including finding my voice, on my own, and of course, the book you are all here tonight when my time comes. It addresses the urgent and because of the right to die movement. Through interviews with terminally ill patients, and physicians and spouses and relatives have representatives of those who have vigorously opposed the movement, gives a voice to a broad range of people who are personally linked to the reality of medical aid in dying. The book presents the arguments before and against that are propelling the current debates across the country about whether to adopt laws allowing those who are dying to put an end to their suffering moderating two nights event is another from the face with w amu,. [applause]. Hosted the kojo shelf as well. Chaired the board of the Public Access corporation of washington dc since 1997 is also served on the Board Library of Congress American folklife center. So before we welcome our speakers to the station night, would like to treat you to a short trailer of the documentary which is also called when my time comes that corresponds with the book. So enjoy. [background sounds]. [background sounds]. What options do i have. What will my death be like. Some of us are willing to speak openly about such things. But many of us are not. We live in a culture that seems to hide from their mortality. This is the most difficult p experience for patients and their families. Thinking about death and dying is complicated for people it takes a certain amount of willingness to be vulnerable. In these conversations are not actually about dying. There are about the quality of our life. And everybodys ideals to die quickly in their sleep. But not have any other suffering but that is not available for many of us. They die with an controllable pain. One of the scariest things about that is you have no control. But you cant control how you die. Political eden dying is the medical treatment that enables a person who is not dying that has exhausted all hope for care as close to an ailment, help them die. In comfort, and peace, and with reduced suffering. When summary is thinking in and in dying, they are not thinking about it casually. I think this is a very difficult debate for a lot of people. Some people dont think it is an appropriate people are for a doctor to do. I dont know whether i abusive benoit like to have a choice. Is between an individual or family and a doctor. But this is a hard one. Most people would rather not talk about death. They would rather push it out of their minds. But i believe that we must talk about it. We need to be thinking about what i would like to have at the end ofhe my life read i would le this and its very important in sharing my wishes with my family. In my friends and my physician and i believe well wait we will bring comfort to our souls. When my time comes. [applause]. Brittany now help me welcome to the stage diane rehm. [applause]. Good evening, i would like to acknowledge dianes husband john. John thank you for joining us. [applause]. Also the manager of w amu, jj,. [applause]. W amu Staff Members are also here sprinkled among you. Theyre our support system that diane and i have come to rely it on over the years. So we would like to thank them too. Would you care to stand all of you w amu employees please print. [applause]. Thank you. I have known diane and trent diane rehm for about 30 years. I knew her before i started working at wamu. Howard university television, and diane and i were trying to work together. She was one of the people who strongly encouraged me. She demanded. [laughter]. That i come to wamu. In the person i know before i came to wamu, i considered a very genteel woman. When i came to wamu in 1998, i found that diane was indeed genteel womans and one who was made of solid steel. Because in thatt year, 1998, diane started struggling with and misprinted it caused her to lose her voice. And you would think anybody you made a living by talking, stricken with this astigmatic dystonia, would be ending their career. Not this moment of steel. She fought it, she underwent for a year, very painful treatment that caused her to be off of the year occasionally for short periods of time within she healways came back. And she stated coming back. Until her absences or less and less frequent and there were less and less long she fought through that. And then, her then husband john, got parkinsons disease. In this book when my time comes, she details painandsuffering that he understood. And i assumed that the nature of that experience for her is what started her on this journey. It turned out that i was wrong. So diane, survived telling us about your mother. Diane good evening it is so wonderful to see you all and kojo. Thank you so much for being here. Youre absolutely right, my journey began when i was much younger, i i was 19. Actually, i was 16 when the doctors told me that my mother was dying. The 16 yearold doesnt quite grasp that reality and so i did a lot of praying and a lot of looking to the t stars. And wondering, what is death going to be. Will, for my mother, who was 49 years old when she died, and i was 19 years old. It was a great deal of suffering. She begged to die. If she begged to die in her hospital bed being drained over and over and over again of fluid. This was because i were not sure what but it was liver cancer cirrhosis of the liver which the doctors all assured her that it must have been because she was an alcoholic. I can assure you that she had two drinks a year. This is that christmas and on new years. Shot of whiskey with my father. As she lay in the bed having been drained once again, fluid made her look as though she were 11 months pregnant. She begged to die and i can remember rubbing her feet and crying and saying, mama i want to go before you do. I dont want you to die. And then on new years eve, but that year, by then husband and i went to Georgetown Hospital about 10 00 oclock at night before we were supposed to go to a new years eve party. I do not want to go. It didnt feel well. But i went. First to the hospital and when i saw the doctor who was her doctor, i said to him, have you seen your mothers what he said to me and i said, well, we went into see her but she was sound asleep and i did not want to wake her. And he said, i want you to go back in that room and i want you to let her y know you are here. I said the doctor, she doesnt sleep well. Dont want to wake her and he said go in and wake her. The reels were up on the bed and i said, mama i am here. And i think she was so out of it, she just kind of waved me away. I think the doctor knew she was going to die tonight. And therefore, the next day, my husband and i just having moved into a new apartment, had no telephone. And his brother came knocking on the door that we must get to the hospital. We raced there. And i ran across the parking lot and got there 20 minutes too late. She was gone. I think kojo, that began my really strong feelings that people should not have to suffer. Kojo you say you have been a life long advocate of this. How come. Diane i think, when the doctor told me that my mother was dying, i had gone into see him, my dad taken me and i had an ear infection. I could use some pretty choice words but i will not. Kojo believe me she can. [laughter]. Diane she punched through the infection in my ear. And i screamed. And then after i had calmed down, i sent home, please tell me about my mother. He said well, shall be gone in 18 months. Just like that. And for me, that sort of harsh way of speaking with a young person about life and death, and to living off to the way doctors assume godlike positions. With the patients or the children and i think for me, it is been a lifelong struggle to make sure that i speak up. Around doctors and say what is and what is not. And i certainly did where john was concerned. Kojo this is your activism on medical he did dying, and floated naturally about patient autonomy and with johns condition, led to two intensify it. Diane john died of parkinsons in fact, he died starving himself and drinking no liquid for ten days. I watched him do that for ten days. He felt he had lost all dignity, he could no longer bathe himself or toilet himself and said to me, when day, i am ready to die. And he called in the doctor and our son and daughter a physician herself, was on the phone from boston and he said, john said, i am ready to die, doctor, will you help me. And the doctor, at the time we are in a nursing home in maryland and the doctor said, he legally nor morally ordinal or ethnically can i help you die. The only thing you can do for yourself is to stop eating, drinking water, takingat medication. You can go for a long time without food but within a very short period, lack of water to destroysde the organs. And i watched for that ten days is my husband 54 years declined and showed on his face, but he never cried out. Should on his face the agony that death caused for him. He died in 2014. In january of 2016, joe, the Film Producer and his executive producer diane, came to me saying they had plans to do a documentary film on the right to die. And joe told me just the other day, he was surprised at how readily i had a to do it. Before we got to the elevator, as he was leaving, i said im in. And that was three years ago kojo, for those three years we have worked together this documentary film, three minutes of light you have just seen. The book has it just come out or comes out tomorrow and that is the result of our effort. Kojo a question you asked many others in the book, i will not skip. What is your idea of good death. Diane kojo, it is a question that our director really wanted to ask each and every one of the more than 40 people we interviewed around the country. These patients or doctors or priests or members of the clergy, when you consider a good death. For my self, i would consider a good death that is one that is peaceful, painless, quiet, and perhaps having a party before hand. [laughter]. Having lots of champagne. Au [laughter]. Having my husband, my children, my grandchildren, my dearest friends beside me. Holding hands, telling them each what they mean to me. That would be a good death. The one in order to make sure, that you have metonymy in that process, in order to make sure that theres absolutely no mistake made. Kojo about your desires, do you and you recruited your grandson. Tell us what you told him to do. Diane during the filmmaking of the documentary which by the way will be shown on public television, one year from now. It is in the spring of 2021. Van was using his cell phone and i announced my daughter, his mother for permission to do th this. I dont do anything without asking my daughter. [applause]. For her permission. Kojo if youve eve ever had the experience of diane asking permission to do anything. Thatt is not justin asked. Diane it is very important with grandchildren and with children to ask permission and jenny granted it. I sent ben, i would like to speak with you now please. Take out your iphone. As i was speaking with ben, about my own desires, then was being filmed by our director of photography, david goulding, and i told him exactly what i wanted recorded for posterity but most especially for my children to children, for my husband john and for my grandchildren. I wanted everybody to be aware that if i had either and this is very controversial i know. If i began showing signs of alzheimers, if i had an incurable illness, if i was diminishing in ways that i could never again enjoy the fullness of life, i wanted to go and i wanted them to know that i would want to go. She had written that, she had never actually read it. Her daughter found the paragraph after she died. And i quote that paragraph in the book because it was so meaningful to me. Saying if there is nothing that can be done, please and my life humanely. Please, do not use extraordinary measures. And please, follow my wishes. What i am hoping, that this book does, and our documentary does, is to get people to talk about the most taboo subjects in the world. Death. And dying. We are so afraid to talk about it. We pretend it is not going to happen. A Church Service in massachusetts were about 300 people were there. I said please, raise your hand if you plan not to die. [laughter] and there was exactly this same low level chuckle, as though we all think it is kind of funny. But some people think, and especially young people, think they are going to live forever. Because of my family history, my father died 11 months after my mother did. Host your mother died at 49 years old. Guest and my father died 11 months later of a broken heart. Johns a mother and father each committed suicide. My motherinlaw at 92 and my fatherinlaw at 72. So death was something that was part of our dialogue. And i believe that in this day and age, death should be something that we allg talk about because the baby boomers are reaching that age, where their parents are dying. We think about the idea that our children are afraid to talk with us about what we want. Why dont we raise what it is we want. And that is what i hope this book will do, this film will do, is to get people talking. Host well, the book certainly did it e for me. Because even though my wife and i had already had wills and living wills, and those living wills indicated we do tenot want to be resuscitated. After reading this book, i realized one has to do more than that. Guest much more. Host one has to be very, very specific about what one once in that situation. And one has to have a conversation with ones Family Members about that. In your case you may then record that conversation so it will last forever. It is just an on Ongoing Program with diane for the rest of our life. Lets talk about some of the people you talk to who made that decision. Well talk about either skeptical or opposed outright. What was close to home for you . Mary klein, who met testicle varian cancer, they were close to your own y neighborhood where you grew up. Guest they do ended and dean. Mary klein, was so active and such in her partner, her wise eyes, such a strong, marvelous, fantastic person. And carried on her life in such a fabulous way. When she discovered she had ovarian cancer, she did in fact go through numerous treatments. Many radiation and chemotherapy treatments, until the doctor said there is really nothing more we can do. And, mary, at that time because there was no right to die, that legality here in d. C. , she and her partner went to work with mary j. Host the council member. Guest to bring this idea to the board. Now mary chase as soon as she is elected wanted to bring it to the floor. But had been persuaded by other o Council Members to hold off for a bit. But mary became impatient, mary chait, and mary klein became the perfect advocate to come forward to talk about her own illness and the fact that she did not want to suffer. That she had done everything she could to try to stay live. But no, thatw eventually, and shortly, she was going to die and did not want to die suffering. She testified, she lobbied, she wrote letters, and finally, the district of Columbia City Council Voted so that now d. C. Has a medical aid in dying law. When we began this process in 2016, just three years ago, there were three states at the time that had medical aid in dying. Now, because of people like mary klein, because of people like Brittany Minard in california who had to move to oregon to obtain medical aid in dying, now, there are nine states plus the district of columbia. Which has medical aid in dying. I feel very fortunate that people like mary klein and mary j really made an issue. I pray that maryland, virginia, new york, connecticut, and others states will follow suit thank you. To make the district of columbia got a medical aid dying law on the books. Problem solved for mary klein, right . Wrong. Then you have to find a physician who is willing to do it. Tell them about marys odyssey in that regard. Mary klein looked, and looks, and looked and finally found a physician who is willing to work with her. W and this physician. Guest doctor kathryn ross,. Guest i have to to you shes now my physician. [laughter] host i wonder why . [laughter] guest because she believes in medical aid in dying and i have now t turned to her. But there are very few physicians initially d. C. Said you have to have a registry, and you have tois list your name as a physician willing to carry out medical aid and dying. Very few physicians were willing to do that and put their name out there in public. But now, we haveow a few, very few and the medication is very, very difficult to get a hold of. One was taken off the market by one of our drug companies. Ask me why and i cannot answer it. Once it was taken off the markets, a number of pharmacies began to create their own potions. , and now you have to really find it through a physician. It is not easy. I am hoping that process will become easier as times goes on. After all, this law has been in place for 22 years. The number of people who have applied for medical aid in dying and received the medication, only two thirds of those people have actually used it. One third have had the medication and have chosen not to use it. There has not been a single case brought of any sort of coercion or pressure, or illegal activity on anyones part. Now lets talk about the folks who are against it. Host thats where i was just getting to. [laughter] the case of the d. C. Legislation, your neighbor, someone who lives in thehe same building you lived in, selma roosevelt testified in favor and she was dismayed that all of the physicians who testified were against her. And you had a conversation with mary kleins physician, who is now your physician, and she told you about conversations she has had with her h colleagues. And how torn they are about it. But why do all these physician to testified here oppose it . Guest for a number of reasons. I think many go back to the idea that physicians should do no harm. Now, let us begin to wonder in whose head, harm exists. Does it exist in the mind and heart of the patient who may be receiving one more treatment that does no good . Does it exist in the mind of the doctor who feels, well lets try this one more thing . There is a feel that patients can get onto, especially those whowh are suffering from serious cancer diagnoses who try one another. After the church, and most especially the

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