Get ready to clap again. And a nonprofit like sixth and i. [applause] your attendance at events like this is truly vital to us and we literally would not be in without you so we just want you to know how much we appreciate you and your choices. I am so excited to introduce to nights event because it is not a secret amongst my friends or coworkers how much i love and admire diane rehm. Shes a native washingtonian who begin a radio career in 1973 as a volunteer for w and you and is into the producer, host and d. C. Icon we all know today. She is author of several books including finding my voice, on my own, life, and, of course, the book youre all here for tonight, when my time comes which addresses the urgent hotly contested cause of the right to die movement. Through interviews with terminally ill patients and with physicians, spouses, relatives and representatives of those who vigorously oppose amendment she gives voice to a broad range of people personally linked to the realities of medical aid and dying. The book resents the fervent argument both for and against that of propelling the current debates across the country about whether to adopt laws allowing those who are dying to put in to their suffering. Moderating tonight if it is another friendly face of wamu, kojo nnamdi. [applause] host of the kojo nnamdi teacher as well as the politics hour. She has chaired the part of the Public Access corporation of washington, d. C. Since 1997 19d has also served on the board of the library of Congress American folklife center. So before would lock him our speakers to the stage tonight we would like to treat you to a a short trailer of the documentary which is also called when my time comes but they correspond with the book so enjoy. What is death . What options do i have, if any . To what my death will be like. Philosophers, writers, people have been considering questions like these for, well, for as long as there has been human beings. Today, some of us are willing to speak openly about such things, but many of us are not. We live in a culture that seems to hide from mortality. This is a most difficult experience for a patient and their families. Speaking about death and dying is complicated for people, and it takes a certain amount of willingness to be vulnerable. This conversation is not actually about dying. They are about the quality of our lives. Everybodys idea is to die quickly into sleep and not have any existential suffering, but thats not available to many of us. 25 of people who die with chronic illness die with uncontrolled pain. Im going to die of breast cancer. One of the scariest things about that is, is that you have no control. But you can control how i die. I can control how i die. Medical aid dying is a medical treatment that enables a person who is dying, was exhausted all hope from your aunt is close to an imminent death. Help them die in comfort, in peace, and with reduced level of suffering. When someone is thinking about aid and dying then i think about it casually. I think this is a difficult debate for a lot of people. Some people dont feel its an appropriate thing for a doctor to do. I dont know whether i would use it but i know i would like to have the choice. This is between an individual and her family and doctor. A good conversation. But its a hard one. Most people would rather not talk about death. They would rather push it out of their minds. But i believe we must talk about it. For me, thinking about what i would like to have at the end of my life is very important, and sharing my wishes with my family, my friends, my physician, i believe will bring comfort to us all when my time comes. [applause] now please help in welcome to the stage diane rehm and kojo nnamdi. [applause] good evening. I do like to acknowledge the presence here of dianes husband, john hagedorn. Take it get so much for joinin. [applause] thank you so much for joining us. Also the president of the manager of wamu, jj. [applause] and several wamu Staff Members are also here sprinkled among you. They are the support system that diane and i have come to rely on over the years so we would like to thank them for coming. Would you care to stand, all the wamu employees . [applause] i have known diane rehm for about 30 years. I i knew her before i started working at wamu. I was hosting a talk show at Howard University television, and diane and i will from time to time guests on each others show. She was one of the people who strongly encouraged me, well, not strongly encouraged. Demanded that i come to wamu. The person i i knew before i ce to wamu i considered a very genteel woman. When i came to wamu in 1998, i found that diane was indeed a genteel woman, one made of solid steel. Because in that year, 1998, diane started struggling with something was called spasmodic dysphonia, which caused her to lose her voice. You would think that anybody who made a living by talking, stricken with spasmodic dysphonia, with the ending their career. Not this woman of steel. She fought it. She underwent four years very painful treatment that caused her to be off the air, occasionally for short periods of time, but then she always came back. And she stayed coming back until her absences or less and less frequent, and they were less and less long. She fought through them. And then, her then husband, john, got parkinsons disease. And in this book, when my time comes diane details with pain and suffering he undertook. And i assumed that the nature of that experience for her is what started her on this journey. It turned out that i was wrong. So diane, start by telling us about your mother. Good evening. Its so wonderful to see you all and kojo, thank you so much for being here. Youre absolutely right. My journey began when i was much younger. I was in 19. Actually, i was 16 when the doctors told me that my mother was dying. A 16 year old doesnt quite grasp that reality, and so i did a lot of praying and a lot of looking to the stars and wondering, you know, what is death going to be . Well, for my mother, who was 49 when she died and i was 19, it was a great deal of suffering. She bagged to die. She bagged to die in her hospital bed being drained over and over and over again of fluid, caused by, where not sure what, whether it was liver cancer, cirrhosis of the liver, which the doctors all assured her it must have been because she was an alcoholic. And i can assure you she had two drinks a year, at christmas and on new years, a shot of whiskey, with my father. As she lay in that bed, having been drained once again of fluid that made her look as though she were 11 months pregnant, she begged to die. And i can remember rubbing her feet and crime, and saying crying, and saying i want to go before you do. I dont want you to die. And then on new years eve of that year, my then husband and i went to Georgetown Hospital about 10 00 at night before we supposed to go to a new years eve party. I i didnt want to go. I didnt feel as though i wanted to go, but i went. First to the hospital. And when i saw the doctor who was her doctor, i said to him, he said, have you seen your mother . And i said, well, we went in to see her but she was sound asleep, and i did not want to wake her here and he said, i want you to go back in that room. I want you to let her know you are here. And i said, that, doctor, she doesnt sleep well. I dont want to wake her. And he said, go in and wake her. The rails were up on her bed. And i said, mama, im here. And she sort of, i think she was so out of it, she just kind of waved to me away. I think the doctor knew she was going to die that night. And, therefore, the next day my husband and i having just moved into a new apartment had no telephone. His brother came knocking on the door saying you must get to the hospital. We raced there, and i ran across the parking lot and got there 20 minutes too late. She was gone. And i think, kojo, that began my really strong feelings that people should not have to suffer. You say youve been a lifelong advocate of patient autonomy. Howcome . When the doctor told me i was dying, i had gone in to see him. My dad had taken me. I had an ear infection, and i could use some pretty choice words, but i wont. Believe me, she can. [laughing] she punched through the infection in my ear, and i screamed. And that after i had calm down, i said to him, please tell me about my mother. He said, she will be gone in 18 months are coming, just like that. And for me, that sort of harsh way of speaking with a young person about life and death kind of turned me off to the way doctors assumed godlike positions with their patients or the children. And i think for me its been a lifelong struggle to make sure that i speak up around doctors and say what is and what is not. And i certainly did where john rehm was speeded did your activism flow naturally from your feelings on patient autonomy and did john condition, johns condition lead you to intensify it . John rehm, as kojo has said, died of parkinsons. In fact, he died starving himself and drinking no liquid for ten days. I watched him do that for ten days. He felt he had lost all dignity. He could no longer feed himself or bathe himself or toilet himself and said to me one day, i am ready to die. And called in the doctor and our son and our daughter, a physician herself, was on the phone from boston. And he said, john said im ready to die. Doctor, will you help me . And the doctor, we were at a nursing home at the time in maryland, the doctor said neither legally nor morally nor ethically can i help you die. The only thing you can do for yourself is to stop eating, drinking water, taking medication. You can go for a long time without food, but within a very short period, the lack of water destroys the organs. And i watched for that ten days as my husband of 54 years declined and showed on his face, though never crying out, showed on his him him that that activity of death caused cause. He died in 2014. In january of 2016, joe, a film producer, and his executive producer, diane naughton, came to be saying that they had plans to do a documentary film on the right to die. And joe told me just the other day he was surprised at how readily i agreed to do it. Before we got to the elevator, as he was leaving, i said, im in. And that was three years ago, kojo. For those three years we have worked together on this documentary film, three minutes of which you have just seen. The book has just come out, or it comes out tomorrow, and that is the result of our effort. A question you asked many others in this book i will not ask you. What is your idea of a good death . Kojo, its a question that our director, joe, really wand to ask each and everyone of the more than 40 people we interviewed around the country. Be they patient or be the doctors or priests or members of the clergy, what do you consider a good death . For myself, i would consider a good death as one that is peaceful, painless, quiet. Perhaps having a party before hand. Having lots of champagne. [laughing] having my husband, my children, my grandchildren, my dearest friends beside me, holding hands, telling them each what they mean to me. That would be a good death. And in order to make sure that you have autonomy in the process, in order to make sure that there is absolutely no mistake made about your desires, you recruited your grandson, then. Tell us what you told ben to do. During the filming of the documentary, which by the way, will be shown on Public Television a year from now, that is in spring of 2021, ben was using his cell phone, and i asked my daughter, his mother, for permission to do this. I dont do anything without asking my daughter. For her permission. I said speeded have you ever had the experience of diane asking your permission to do anything . You would understand that its not just and ask. [laughing] its very important with grandchildren and with children to ask permission, and she granted it. I said, ben, id like to speak with you now, please take out your iphone. As i was speaking with ben about my own desires, ben was being filmed by our director of photography, and i told ben exactly what i wanted recorded for posterity, but most especially for my two children, for my husband john hagedorn, for my grandchildren. I wanted everybody to be aware that if i had either, and this is very controversial, i know, if i began showing signs of alzheimers, if i had an incurable illness, if i was diminishing in ways that i could never again enjoy the fullness of life, i wanted to go. And i wanted them to know that i would want to go. And i read to ben a paragraph that i had read that and more oldenburg had read to her children. She had written it. She never actually read it. Her daughter found the paragraph after Anne Morrow Lindbergh died and i quote that paragraph in the book because it was a meaningful to me, saying if there is nothing that can be done, please in my life humanely. Please do not use extraordinary measures. And please follow my wishes. What i am hoping this book does, and our documentary does, is to get people to talk about the most taboo subject in the world, death and dying. We are so afraid to talk about it. We pretend its not going to happen. I said in a Church Service in massachusetts for about 300 people were there. I said, please raise your hand if you plan not to die. [laughing] and there was exactly the same lowlevel chuckle, as though we all think its kind of funny. But some people think, and especially young people, think they are going to live forever. John rehm and i, because of my family history, my father died 11 months after my mother did your mother died at 49 49 ys old. And my father died 11 months later of a broken heart. Johns mother and father each committed suicide. My motherinlaw at 92, my fatherinlaw at 72. So death was something that was part of our dialogue. And i believe that in this day and age, death should be something that we all talk about. Because the baby boomers are reaching that age where their parents are dying. We think about the idea that our children are afraid to talk with us about what we want. Why dont we raise what it is we want . And thats what i hope this book will do, this film will do, is to get people talking. Well, the book certainly did it to me. Because even though my wife and i have already had wheels and had living wills and those living wills indicated that we do not want to be resuscitated. After reading this book i realized what has to do more than that. Much more. One has to be very, very specific about what one wants in that situation. And one has to run the conversation with ones Family Members about that, and in your case you made ben record that conversation so that it will last forever. But its just an ongoing part of diane programming me for the rest of my life. Lets talk about some of the people you talked to who made that decision. And well talk some more either skeptical or pose it outright. Lets start, what is close to home for you, mary klein who had ovarian cancer. They live close to Old Neighborhood where you grew up. They do or did indeed. Mary klein was so active and such in her partners, such a strong, marvelous, talented person, and carried on her life in such a fabulous way. When she discovered she had ovarian cancer. She did, in fact, go through numerous treatments, many radiation and chemotherapy treatments until the doctor said, theres really nothing more we can do. And mary at that time, because there was no right to die legality here in d. C. , she and her partner went to work with mary councilmember. To bring this idea to the board. Mary jade, as soon as she is not elected, wanted to bring this to the floor but had been persuaded by other Council Members to hold off for a bit. But mary became impatient. Mary klein became the perfect advocate to come forward to talk about her own illness, and the fact that she did not want to suffer, that she had done everything she could to try to stay alive, but knew that eventually, and shortly, she was going to die, and did not want to die suffering. She testified. She lobbied. She wrote letters. And finally the district of Columbia CityCouncil Voted so that now d. C. Has a medical aid in dying local. When we began this process in 2016, just 33 years ago, there were three states at the time that had medical aid in dying. Now, because people like mary klein, because of people like britney minard in california who had to move to oregon to obtain medical aid in dying, now there are nine states, plus the district of columbia, which has medical aid in dying. I feel very fortunate that people like mary klein and mary cheh really made this an issue. I pray that maryland, virginia, new york, connecticut, and other states will follow suit before long. [applause] thank you. The district of columbia got a medical aid in dying law on the books. Problem solved for mary klein, right . Wrong. Then you have to find a physician whos willing to do it. Tell them about marys odyssey y in that regard. Mary klein looked and looked and looked, and finally found a physician who was willing to work with her. And disposition this physician, i have to confess to you, she is now my physician wonder why . Because she believes in medical aid in dying. I have now turned to her. But there are very few physicians initially d. C. Said you have to have a registry and you have to list your names as to a physician willing to carry out medical aid in dying, and very few physicians were willing to put their name out there in public. But now we have a few, very few, and the medication is very, very difficult to get hold of. Once it was taken off the market by one of our drug companies, asked me why and i cannot answer it, once it was taken off the market, a number of pharmacies began to create their own potions. And now you have to really find it through a physician. Its not easy. Im hoping that process will become easier as time goes on. After all, oregon has had its law in place for 22 years. The number of people who have applied for medical aid in dying and received the medication, only twothirds of those people have actually used it. Onethird have had the medication and have chosen not to use it. Theres not been a single case brought of any sort of coercion or pressure or illegal activity on anyones part. Now, lets talk about the folks who are against it. Thats where i was just getting to. [laughing] because in the case of the d. C. Legislation, your neighbor, someone who lives in the same building you lived in, thelma roosevelt testified in favor and she was dismayed that all of the physicians who testified against it. And you had a conversation with mary clients physician who is not your position, and she told her your conversation she is had with our colleagues. And and how i guess torn they are about it why did all of these physicians who testified here oppose it . Well, for a number of reasons. I think many go back to the idea that physicians should do no harm. Now, let us begin to wonder in whose head harm exists. Does it exist in the mind and heart of the patient who