Helped shape this country. Just go to our website cspan. Org books that shaped america. Click the view input tab and select record video. In 30 seconds or ls tell us your pick and why. Be sure to watch books that shaped america live review monday at 9 p. M. Eastern on cspan. I am Kevin Butterfield the correct of the john w. Kluge center at the library of congress. Its my great pleasure to introduce todays speakers. The clubbyy senate by the way is one of the sponsors of this years festival. We are proud to help bring americas most beloved writers here to join us. The clubby center works to bring scholars to work in the collections of the library of congress for up to a year to study intensively and extensively, and to produce great works of the sort you get to hear about at the National Book festival. Welcome to everyone whos joining us live on cspan today. Were proud to partner with cspan again this year for todayss event. Our next Program Features r. K. Russell in conversation with roswell encina. Ross made history in 2019 by becoming the first out active nfl player to identify as bisexual. His new book is titled the yards between us a memoir of life, love, and football. Roswell encina is the chief Communications Officer at the library of congress. Please join me in welcoming them. Th [applause] thank you. I finished your book this week and it is such a beautiful man memoir. It is a love letter to the relationships in your life, your mother, i think especially the men in your life. Her stepfather, your biological father, your stepfather, your biological father, and all of your teammates. How did your relationships with these men impact you . Rk my identity here on this earth, it is very much a culmination of all of these people, my stepfather for example, i lost about a young age but his messages rang true to me today, the character of a man is not how big you are or how strong you are, or how intimidating you are, of your work is that it is your work out your character, being dependable and accountable. My childhood friend who i consider a brother now, he has tommy resilience and he has survived a been survived being abandoned. He has tommy me about morality and seeking out to be a change in people, to be a light and something that people can lean on, by biological father was not in my life, example of things may be not to do, the false steps we can all take as youve met and the heartache and the importance of healing from that, so you do not continue those cycles. All of these men, teammates as well have taught me about the things that it truly means to be a man and those things have nothing to do with sexuality or how much money you make or how big you are being a Football Player and being you talk about. Struggles you had when you were a young man. How did you get through that . Who did you lean on to make sure you could get through it . R. K. my mother, first and foremost, it is funny because i do talk a lot about the men in my life but. The one constant is my mother. She is my best friend. There are no limits of what you can do as a person in this world, she had me at a young age, my mother got pregnant and 19 and had me at 20, as a single, black mother in america. She heard about all of the things she could not do, the statistics we fell into and she exceeded all of them. She was never too woman for something, she got her masters while raising me, it was always my life to even when i was drafted, the first thing i did was move my mother in with me, she would be the foundation, she would be that rock for me. The most about being a man also from a woman, and i think that is pivotal because also as men we exist with the multiplicity of people, women and nondairy people and we need to understand how we fit into these molds, break these molds, and how to uplift each other. Roswell you mentioned that esports has given me a lifeline, do you mind if i read . A part from your book . Football was how i found space and peace in high school, how i obtained a scholarship to a top university, attracted most of my love interests, football and so i made friendships that became brotherhoods and when no one else wanted me, football was home. R. K. there is so much of my identity from football, a lot of it to my benefit, some to my detriment, growing up in texas, it is a pivotal part of culture there. I was in his family, faith, and football. My family did not look like other peoples, i did not attend church regularly like others did, football was something that proceeded all of those things when they saw me in something that, as the outside world forgets about you, i was beginning to do the same, ive tried to tell Young Athletes at all people in general that of course it is ok to sacrifice to achieve your dreams and succeed in the profession and interests and the creative hobbies or activities that you love but it was it is never ok to sacrifice yourself. That is the line but your walking with football, it has become so obsessive in your life, as much as i love football, with mentors and the male figures and coaches and family and purpose and education, i let it take things from me. My love for self, my individuality, capability to challenge the things i was told about being a man or being a black man in america, i let it encompass all of me. It is ok for it to be a huge part but football is not all that i am and it took me a long time to unlearn that. Roswell he received a scholarship for do, you in their football team, if you do not know what redshirts are, could you explain what they are and what did it teach you . What life lessons did it teach you . R. K. it is when you commit to a college or go to a college to play on their team but for whatever reason you have to sit out, for me it was because i was undersized, i was tall and athletic and i was small to be a defensive end. It is a coach telling me that i needed to go work out and eat and get bigger if i wanted to play in the league. Which i agreed, i did do there are benefits, you get to learn the game and get around the College Athletes and teammates and the in those practices going against big ten starters, all american, things of that major. Nature. You get to prepare and compete and you still get four years to play after that which is amazing. It also comes with hardships, i moved from texas to west lafayette, indiana to play football and for a year i was told to be in the building but not on the field and that is not good for your confidence. You know the sacrifices are made to be there and it comes with its own unique challenges. Roswell my favorite part of the book is when your mother surprised you for your birthday, you drove around and landed at where the cowboys played, it was your first nfl game. R. K. the Dallas Cowboys versus the Philadelphia Eagles im not sure if they are cowboys fans or eagles fans it went fullcircle, a few years later you get a call from jerry jones when you are drafted to the nfl. Roswell what was going through your mind . R. K. they better call soon i was stressing [laughter] it is amazing, baffle soaker moment that full circle moment. A mother was with me on my journey, although i played football there was such a disconnect from me out of the nfl, these are people who are largerthanlife, playing on the tv screens and i assumed everything that they did was something that i could not achieve are not aspire, it was not in my realm of thinking, but going to see that game and seeing the huge men were still playing on the 100 garfield i was going on, the tame the same kind of field i was playing on, the same kind of ball i was playing with. I hear jerry jones with his thick country accent see my name, it is validating. I sacrificed so much to be a Football Player and achieved the dream by being drafted than most people never achieve in their life. That most people never achieve and their life. By then it is time to go to work, time to capitalize on all of the things you have done to this point. College was where i was starting to understand i was not straight, my sexuality whether it was gay or bisexual, i did not have a lot of information about my sexuality at the time, whatever it was, i was not straight and that was another thing i put under the box sacrifices. In getting drafted, invalidated that, im glad i did not have a boyfriend or become open about my sexuality because i made it to this point. What people do not realize is once roswell when people do not realize is there is a lot of work, aside from physically, mental work that needs to happen too because you never know if you are going to get resigned, if you are staying with the team, if you get injured. How is it going from the cowboys to the buccaneers . R. K. at first it was devastating, the cowboys were my hometown team, they drafted me, there is pride you want to fulfill that. We all want to be like jason witten and play there forever and retire there. He ended up going somewhere else you want to be that figure to be on your team, you want to exceed those expectations and getting cut from the Dallas Cowboys was my moment of physically basically, i messed up. I went to try out for the jazz, the patriots, and each trial i thought a bit of myself being chipped away, to go to tampa bay and have in my opinion the least best workout, to be in humidity and drenched in sweat, they say we will give you a chance, it was a glimmer of hope i needed to get into second gear, i also remember that there is no more funny business to my life, im not hanging out with friends as much, im not going to be the Hometown Hero anymore, im not going to date, im going to focus on football. Life is a funny way of saying as soon as you should all of these doors, they will show you the broader picture. What happened to me. Roswell when you were in tampa, something really big happened in football, this is one cap her neck kneeled during the national anthem, the nation notice what was happening with the nfl. Tell me what was happening behind the scene, how are players deciding if they needed to kneel . It seemed like an easy decision to do it, but what were the factors of being weighed on . R. K. in the nfl people have a perception of what it is, but honestly, we really do talk football or talk sports in general most of the time, guys share that they have more moments but we are there, some of us are almost there 12 hours a days prickly for football, we went into a discussion any such a large scale something so much more. In such a large scale on something so much more. There was executive and coaches who do not understand, the first time that owners of the buccaneers came to speak with all of the teams, to come up with what i or they believed to be solutions or to address the problems but also to figure out how we could get all of the players to stand for the anthem and support the game of football in what was presented. It was a bit of a massive, i have to be honest. Roswell you struggled a bit too . R. K. it means so much to so many people, the anthem. Police brutality and social injustice were things that affected everyone that i know, it affects all of us whether we are people of color or not. I have family in the military, my brother is in the army, my dad was in the air force, i was in the navy and my grandfather was in the air force, there are so many things that represent so many people in the anthem. I think it was an opportunity for the nfl to jump in on the discussion and i do not think at that time they did that. Roswell let us talk about that, they jumped in and made some changes, what do you think of them . Do you think it is enough . I know there is a major culture change in the league, is the lead on the right path when it comes to this . R. K. they are on a good path, i think as we navigate there is always missteps or better paths to make. You have younger people who are watching football, how do we get the message to them . In a way that is both digestible but also meaningful . Doing things like putting end racism in the end zone is something that a lot of the audience think are cute but what are we actually doing . Funding changes, funding women owned businesses, blackowned witnesses, social initiatives, trying to be more reactive, proactive instead of reactive. They are making an effort, i think the nfl has a huge organization, there will always be more but they are open to that discussion and listening to people who come to the table and challenge them in what they do and what they think. In what to do and what you think. Host we will get more to the nfl later on. Another subject matter. As you all heard this years National Book festival thing is a story and history as a a trailblazing story that e believe Everybody Needs to hear. The library of Congress Love to say books broadens our world but also needs to be a mere to everyones world so to get to see other people stories and this is where your story comes in very importantly. You in your book mentioned about how you struggled with your sexuality and your happiness. Versus your career. Thats football and the league and let me read this and then we will get up. You said the questions in my head grew louder. Selfdoubt about my sexuality and my identity overflowed into worries about the future. There was a bitter irony and how i was thinking away from a dream even as my hard work had brought it within reach. The nfl wanted me but only because they didnt know the real me. That must have been something really hard to wrestle with. You worked hard your entire life for this moment and then what do i do kind of thing . Guest football is one of those things, those unique things that though it is a job at that levelel it is one of few jobs where it calls your manliness or your character like you youou are as a person. Thats something we focus a lot on in nfl players can of what that dialogue is but we dont understand that stem from childhood when you pick up a football at a very young age people tell you what type of person you needd to be to play this game. Some of it is correct like to kind need to be a little crazy to go anda hit of the people at full speed and get up and do it over and over again, but theres rhetoric, specifically misogynistic rhetoric of dont throw like a girl. There which is of course important but not kind of blocking all emotions. Get up and read some dirt on it workson in effect to some affect but it does that work for all of your life obstacles. When you focus on the type of people that can play football you are releasing what type of people cant play football. I grew up with that as all of this, now most of the players in the league did as well. When i didnt realize i didnt fit that type from a very young age wasye a Football Player, strong, masculine, straight, hardnosed, nonemotional person, i thought am i not a Football Player . Do duane not belong here . H h host that was a hardest part i think winners reading your book as you stroll along with both depression and maybe binge drinking. How are you today . Guest not drinking, thank god. [applause] thank you, yeah. Im four years sober september. [applause] host we wish you well. This month is the fouryear anniversary when you wrote the essay that was published on espn. I will be a quick excerpt and then talk about that. You wrote, i want to live my dream of playing the game. I worked myrk whole life to play and being open about the person ive always been. Those two back objectives shouldnt be in conflict but judging from the fact there isnt ae single openly lgbtq player in nfl, nba, Major League Baseball or the nhl brings me pause. I want to change that. For me, for other athletes who share these common goals and for the generations of lgbtq athletes who will come next. When you were in college i believe, michael came out and most recently carl came out. He currently is probably the only nfl player who is a free agent who is out. Let me ask you this. What do you think it will take for more professional male athletes to come out . I know its going to be a major culture change. Should start with whether it is a league or teammates for the owners or the sponsors . Its a major undertaking and i know you have taken us to task for what do t you think needs to change from one place to feel comfortablemo coming out . Guest it has to come kind of from both sides i think. Weve heard a little bit more about how the league feels about its own conclusion diversity, players players have come forward to talk about just accepting a player force the met of their game and the heart and hard work. I think all that is great. I dont think weve had that same message from ownership outside of like robert kraft. I dont think weve had that same messaging when it comes to marketing and promotion when you show and see on tv or in commercials or in the stadiums of what type of people are allowed to be fans let alone be allowed to be players. Its making sure you ingrain inclusion into the base of your foundation, into the base of your organization to hire lgbtq people even if e theyre not out players, as coaches, as executives, as administration. All of these things, as referees. Again needs to be more inclusive or people need to feel comfortable. You cannot ask atne one what wil make them feel comfortable if you dont have people around them who dont understand the experience. You are treating the woundte instead of actually the problem and the cause of it. I truly believe that the most shameful come with the youth. Like i was seeing a lot of that is in culture we here at a young age. A lot of that is been losing lgbtq athletes going up because he dont feel included in sports and the dont feel supported in sport and i think once we fix that problem, thats going to affect more people. More people are going to play at the Public School level, the city league level, even at the collegiate level then in the professional level. Host so you think its a chart from the very beginning like when kids are playing touch football or in Little League ace ballgames and start the culture change there . Guest thats important. Michael is not have every professional player for every lgbtq but have the players get into sport young, stay in sport and going to professional League Already out, already being their true self, beingng valued for te upfront come face value by taintedin meat allowed to play e game that the love as themselves. Host i read a little bit of your essay. When you publish that integer interview on espn, how did you feel . That must have been a huge weight off your shoulders . Guest i describe it i think my book is coming up for air for the first time and not realize ive been driving my whole life. There are thi