don't even see how i walked around much less worked a full-time job. it was so painful for me to be conscious i just really -- i drank myself to unconsciousness every day. >> in 1982, gosney moved to the island of maui in hawaii with another commune that collapsed. when he lost one job, he applied for another with the maui police department. >> i didn't tell them that i was a chronic alcoholic. i didn't tell them that i was a jonestown survivor. i didn't tell them that i was hiv positive. i didn't tell them that i had a drug history. >> after a couple of years as a cop, he hit rock bottom. finally, he stopped drinking, stopped using drugs and kept his job. >> i've been clean and sober for 19 years now, over 19 years. >> life has not been easy.