Lindsey, but it is possible for me to go to and i walk across the street and people look at me and want to categorize me as a man, and ive always and whenever im out in public and i noticed that im seeing is a man that people address me is that some young man, its monday about a distance. Thats what people think. When they look at my body type this cup a bit, thats what i want it and want to achieve its advice and video to its been the full mismatch. Scully believes in savannah, im very happy not to be seen as a woman anymore. How about being seen as a man isnt quite right either this or any of us took the most people dont see that theres another option in housing, but there are more than just to generalize the mist mentioned. I know that most people arent being mean i funny, they just dont understand about what happens over and over and over again in the past, i find it to exhausting to endure all the time. Also her the status my, how long is this is my hormone, jones, me didnt talk of. Ive been putting it on my arms every day for a year now. And its me, my voice deeper, mazda, so i understand i can grow beards down. Just move on to the the oh, i know its something i mean, im dr. Websites. Yeah. Basically just the way she gets files. Yep. So try it. Tasha. Yeah, thanks, susan. This is its been hard to hear via the car today because im due for a mistake to me. Check up. I have everything removed in the doctors checking to make sure everything is one of the highest of must be a mice and im, im crap. I understood enough because they bothered me most about my body apart from my voice, with the breasts fisting simply because i couldnt either because it was too much. And the people says that, oh my god, you must be a woman because there are presents, there are only got the most santa falls on men to buy a house on the spot. Ill ask them give, it was just an area that i never considered my body cup that never belonged to me, but that was never a part of i need. Im tired from you and the surface was human, vic, to me said, i always wanted to go and cook. I believe my own body should make me feel comfortable and secure. She lives in the system is f of the bottom few the in the as soon as i found out that there was something i could do about that this, it was very liberating. The select some, but as the once i knew it was possible that i could do it by own like, it was clear to me that i wanted to go through with kind of this my home on the inside of my milk science. Build us all the photos of the really dont like seeing photos of me where the breasts are still clearly visible along the name. I dont like boxiness because i just see a completely different person under because of a stranger theme you sent us on this. We dont want to present myself that way either whos present to you in the state. Thats why im covering my face a little bit of a stuff because it just doesnt feel good brothers. I have to scroll down for manual thats about any pets, isnt that for us to wear, like having a 3rd arm or something finished, something completely wrong in my body. I couldnt touch the lesson thats consistent. When i looked down at myself when i just thought it was terrible, i really couldnt cope with it it on there was something i hid from everyone on his stomach throwing himself selling it on the suspect. Open robin, would you come with me . Hello. Hello. So thank you my im, are you okay this way right in here . So i, if you go under via phone and take a seat here on the left. Perfect. How are you . How are you doing . Great so far . Yeah, yes. I assume your quality of life as an approval normally michelle yeah, yes, very much cover. My body feels completely different to me and i can touch it all and it feels good. It feels like me. Oh, youre close to probably. Yeah. Yeah, totally havent the shirt wouldnt have worked before because my shoulders are brought her down and the ones who need different sized clothes last night in class, ill have to figure out where to find something that fits managed by spending time with me sitting in front while it looks good on you. You where it . Well, actually id like to see how things are looking right now. For that i would ask you to take off your shirt and 5. So lets, lets estimate assessment for the cup is the 1st time i saw my flight upper body was at the hospital for hours after surgery. Im still p, shawn. I didnt have a mirror. Let me just have the can speak is i could put down the front when i noticed that these mountains were gone. Im a ton of the back of it. And then i could see my belly button. Im just going to men bolton out of the. Yes. Why it felt like so im coming home actually assess this the opposite. The scars have faded quite a bit. So i notice theres a bit of stretching here. Right. So yeah, probably because im right handed. Assigned to that. So it looks like you massage this well in the meantime as i recommended to think, oh, i think the scars will get better with time. Association fee can continue massaging them. But overall, i think your upper body looks more masculine. Edit suits you very well. Thank you. That safety, fiscal always pretty tough and i think for those with this issue, the most important thing is simply to be accepted, but they dont want to take away anybody else has freedom and i, they just want to be appreciated and accepted in their own freedom of this isnt some kind of frivolous process, it involves getting many expert opinions, changing or legal status, and who knows what else of each other. Its just not something you decide to do on a womens go and try that. That should be well, if you need anything, come back any time to eat outside. Thank you. Thank you. It is, im not a new person. My personality is still the same, but this shadow self is finally gone. As i skipped the color to design, there are those who say i just want attention and sometimes is specifically about being a non binary person identity and gauge about it. So when you look at how long the journey i am parked on really is them on this, on what it takes to get where i am now finished. Thats just so much was on. They didnt choose. This is from voice been this is sophia and no, i dont want attention on line semester kind of make some kind of just name list. I didnt even go through with all these operations just to get some attention off. My son cut the human side. So applies in young time when i was between 13 and 23 was the worst of my life. Even somebody not just one of my Old School Advice and images always in the middle and high school here for 5 or 6 years from 6 out along the off their loan bank. Theyre on the blue bench and thats where our cost would hang out at lunch. Time, but it was always an outside or in the loan. A bunch of other email just opposite brings back old emotions as a news feed. Ill just have that kind of a one bedroom. I only have any friends because they all thought i was weird illusion and my classmates would often just make up words to tease me. You know, think i forgot to phone. One word for example, was farmer. Because i didnt shave my legs, sign on, was considered on hygenic somehow in any of the a tough on its own conflict. Guided me about feet, it will make fun of me. That would be invited to a party that wasnt even have i smelled. And for this one, so in the not potty and then so for an option that will be taught to me if you listen to you can further on you know, started when i was young. I realized i didnt fit in with the girls, and i didnt fit in with the boys. The girls just did girls stuff and i found it strange mass. Lindas fun, but i wasnt at home with the boys either. Im already used by the office. I didnt know where i belonged to him as if i were to tell me, i still havent processed that yet. Its deep within me. So its no teeth. And its been like i used to put into it and they couldnt talk to me, appear in this family or friends as a kind of want because i didnt know how to put it into words. That is, does this was the news was what im going to i didnt fit in anywhere. He was sort of stuck in limbo because i couldnt stand out. So i started trying to fit in with the girls because thats where i supposedly belong. I had a job, im trying to find me. Its a flutist anchored and we look at these photos. Its always very strange mac. I think thats the best word for it. The best of what the fear via because i know that to me, and thats part of my past. But ive lost my connection to this. Savannah forgotten i had good about it. Have to do for been so fellow on. I dont talk about myself as a girl either each and because i never was want to. I never was, i never will be. Its bonnie ions is that only and sign and thats why i dont use my old name anymore. Important because its just not relevant anymore. Now, but of this i finished 1011, so anyone else could soon understand some point in 2018 . I left home and i thought to myself, hey, i dont know any people who work. Were in the mentioned to me and i came across close 41 in frankfurt stores. Then from 1st the 3 of us you sent for queer youth center, a safe place for people who work a bi, sexual, a sexual trans or non veneer tongue. So whos been as ins gonna for me all started here, 2 and a half years ago, the youngest on the phone, just as estimate here. The 1st time i was here, there was an introductory meeting. It was at that meeting that i met people who werent, we are for the 1st i asked my yellow to calculate the confusing um one for more importantly, people who are trained some more like me, diesels into the is my little world kind of exploded and it is and it was like, wow, i think on trans to slope, but not a trans maam. As being 10 i started googling and research quite a bit on the internet to see whats out there. Oh, guns, few intended to associate. So i quickly came across the term non binary series, often because miss been yeah. And that word on tied a huge not within making excuses and cannot into any type. The good news perhaps as the s less can see that light is still 1st. It was a big relief when done. Com and i was afraid of the youngest. Because the moment i knew this about myself, which this was, i also knew i couldnt go back and double key that wouldnt work for me just a minute. To look in this deed of mens, i had to tell my boyfriend, delighted. I had to tell my family. Well, i had to tell my friends who was this man of a medium. It was time to let the cat out of the bag glendon ends on most of this up club in cousins. They sent it said confound from chris and i have been together for 5 years now. I asked for, and i only came out to him about 2 and a half years ago in the outage. I just mean my partner with transwestern crestwood all, madison. I showed him videos of people who were non binary of these because it was important to me that you get to know that as well. And, but this maybe this value is super interested and super supportive as well inside. And well see, hey, all right, well figure it out somehow. What do you need of . How can i help you in my cries, because i hadnt expect of that. And then it was just like a horse. It. Yeah, that was incredible. Yeah. Whats the city moment . What was it like for you . And i told you when i told you i was track, thats up to something ok for that from it listed. Um its definitely a lot to absorb. We just had no idea of what that meant for as and how things would change by should i accept the challenge or the challenge, im gonna have to say this. Anything change for you between us because of in the thing . No, no, just a life event, but nothing traveling is ex covian and then not in my name is it may i see your name, but i dont consciously think about this anymore, but its more subconscious now because its still you saving and strange that i have a deep voice mails to my hot the mattresses on the system again as well as your questions to be honest. I dont even notice so tiny meg with the i dont remember what your voice was like before closing time. I just have it in my hand type stuff in my little image, i have a view right now as also replace the one and my memories. Nothing on the, on the sides. When i think back to the time before the changes, you still look the same as you do now if you do it by myself, cuz its all a fish design because thats what my head thinks is, right . Its like, its always been this way. The read in the mind, fish corbin and you back over to tech. At 1st i was confused when robin came out to me and said that because they had no experience with the whole thing and the incumbent file of a. But i learned all the terminology and all the things that go with it. And again, just as rather not to im hanging i was just looking down like a few less and then level and what am i feelings for each other and especially my feelings from robin were not affected because for me the person is always in the for grant and it depends on who knows, looks like there is more to a person than just their gender. So of course after robin came out initially i didnt question or feature because it didnt matter to me what the others talked about as a couple 100 bucks. Yeah. And then so it was very clear to me that we would Stay Together and decided let us finish and we can kind of thing just go through. Im glad i kept up this about seats in the income for a while. I wondered whether this could even work to outside or so wed always been hetero. Yeah. Social norm because that we knew that was going to change and of course that does affect the relationship of to this office, but did you . So the question was, how do we do with a v . I think for most people, the whole trans issue is still very for us in man on 50 because its just most of the if and the mac symptoms. Yes, there is more acceptance. Active tons of but acceptance is not understanding. This is, theres a different used to skip the membranes. People keep getting assaulted with tons of kids and its not just the other day in frankfort on the trans women was attacked right on the street discipline. You seem discrimination like that makes me so angry me. So uh, but also very, very sad, told me i realize other people were denying me the right to have my own identity. My own life feed up, taking me and my lima things arent going well politically, either off to pretty much the kind of quinns look at a hungry or colon gun at a point on roland is currently setting up eligibility to frequently be chiefly, its on line where people who work, we are not welcome you as an alpha induced and a yeah. So, so what is that going to duty . You think youre not welcome here in the world. You think youre not allowed to exist on the success to you know, if you try this kind of absolutely been discriminated against, but in many ways, i mean its pretty simple. Come on them. Whenever i get letters, its always a very strange feeling for me then because they always call me the wrong thing to say to my wife has on the 12 investments and this, and im like, i think it would be best if that were simply a minute. Its not because its not necessary and when needed, i use neil pronoun, but not this new one on this and theres a whole list of them because they let father put on. They get to my god. I chose the pronoun and it helped me at the spelled n i, and also google as an investor, for example, instead of saying that he plays with his dog. And that would be in place with means dont stucco, kinda smack im on the phone. Sure that might seem complicated at 1st one, but with a little practice can you get used to us . So pushing it in one time on business and the comforts on that also can, i think getting out of your comfort zone is the least you can do to except the 1st on tying this active tip. But sylvia is saying that it has, its just a little word means we can change so much. Lets, lets know, im kind of lost my surface and then con, maam weve incorporated so much english into the german language. Language is always changing. I cant understand how you can be so ignorant and how you can have such a hard time with adding a few words to your vocabulary and human level. Its no common thing. Even mama leave up. How about your mom do dad . Im running this letter to you so that you can take, however much time you need as you read, i guess my type name cont, as such as a few things for them. I was very afraid of coming out to my parents because i knew that they had no contact with your people at all. So you had mentioned, how was it the company didnt even know anyone who has gash woods and somebody should be. Thats why i didnt talk to them 1st of the assessment, then i decided to write them a letter because i didnt want to experience their 1st reaction by this the estimate. So in this upcoming budget is being kind of how im not a woman. Ive been ok, but im also not a man like i for india, i remain simply who i am, who ive always been to the for less than always so that i may change my appearance and so, but i am still the same child. You have always loved invoice, tie, it may take your time and get in touch. When you want to know more about this is when shamia does the image and i wish that you will accept me for who i am is without having to justify myself to you. I love you is need boyce robin hobbin to meet you, but thats in the attempt to my surprise, my parents responded very well, my mind and what type of screen 1st my mother wrote me on with them. This thing is she told me she loves me very much and thank me for the letter. Thank toughening fees on mind. Couple of other than my dad said he didnt care because nothing had changed all of this by the image infinity. It wont lose me except because im still his child and it was like, yeah, i need to end up spinning as i can when that result a lot of great boost. Hello me, im me gets im doing well when yours. When isnt that . From logarithm my parents didnt worry though that this might not be the right thing for me to do. Mostly i found that they just didnt know me well. I know it can come. I talked to them a lot and told them that, you know, this is right for me is like me, is just trust me. You know, this, this felt like me down and how does it mean . And then they did trust me once and now they can see that im doing better despite its talk soon. Bye. Choose the machine, my endocrinologist today. 3 can you check my blood work every 3 months route and gives me a new prescription for my hormones . Gets up somebody the homeowner conduct the flu . Yeah. 17. 0 um. Do you have a video that are recorded and edited myself, where you can see and hear the changes the hormones have made on, especially in my voice is off and the times and stimulate create some kind of book as name, there are no real side effects. The hormone treatment will flush ice time, only thing im worried about as being dependent, just as i said, i think its been, as its been opinion here, im dependent on doctor is giving me a prescription so i can keep taking hormones. Name come on. Donald has been around as well are sometimes im worried. What would happen if that were to stop somehow or i couldnt get them anymore. Assistance makes me you my son. So i did come to the counter to come here and then lets mon, i remember last time you reported that you were still not quite satisfied with the effective this hormone therapy, in your case testosterone. Thats the whole disorder. And severe non editor. Yeah. The dosage was lower than that, it was indeed lower of new things and i wasnt doing so well. I had some mood swings in so to leave this place in order, lets talk about increasing the doses. Thats possible. As long as we monitor things, this would contribute district for images. For me, its important to note that being trans is neither a disease nor a disorder. I see it as a normal bearing and experienced by some members of our soc