APRIL, as TS Eliot nearly said, is the coldest month, particularly if you are eating out. There were a cruel, record-breaking 13 days of air frosts last month, beating April 1970 when there were 11. As we can currently only dine outside, last week’s review in this space contained so many references to teeth chattering that another of our intrepid team of eating out reviewers cried off for fear of hypothermia. With a deep depression forecast for the first weekend in May, we decided to eat in and dream of warmer climates – like the Middle East, where the average April temperature is 18 degrees.