Greg: yes! yes. Yes. All right, i will take it, for now. Happy monday, everyone. Last friday joe biden turned over a cabinet meeting to his wife. If that is not bad enough he then put hunter in charge of the medicine cabinet. Man boobs. Vice president harris will skip this fundraising dinner, a feature which traditionally shows presidential candidates roasting each other. She pulled out at the last minute. If only her husband had done the same thing with the nanny. Terrible. This person was criticized for saying that kamala harris is not black. She would know, her brother michael was a white one. And a beautiful one at that, rest in peace. Hillary clinton argued that kamala harris does not need to clarify her policy positions to her various critics and instead recommends simply killing them. The menendez brothers series on netflix is facing backlash over the allegations of sibling incest. I don't see the big deal, says one woman. I don't know why, i don't understand the backstory on that i have not looked into that. Complicated. Greg: isn't it always? world leaders are gathering this week for the u. N. General assembly, representatives from haiti are looking forward to visiting new york city's many dog parks. [laughter] greg: but they are bummed they can no longer get tickets to see cats. I don't care if it is false. I knew costco is under construction in l. A. That will feature hundreds of apartments for rent. Every apartment will feature air conditioning and a 20gallon bottle of ranch dressing. Several bows escaped from a rodeo and massachusetts. Luckily authorities have a pretty good idea area where they are. [applause] greg: never gets old, does it? megan kelly says she misses fat opera. So do we catch says hostess. Finally california governor signed a law banning plastic shopping bags. Not to be confused with old bags that are mostly plastic. [applause] why would you clap for something so mean? before they cast their ballot this november american should do one thing first, then mow me ten dollars. Would also watch trump on gutfeld! and then in kamala on because you can't get a better picture of how the who the candidates are. Here is trump talking about fronted oh. The death penalty for drug dealers i do not know if this country is ready for it. But each drug dealer on average kills, on average, 500, he or she, drug dealer, i know so many families who have lost a sun are daughter, or appearance even, to fentanyl. Greg: you can't get much more clear than that. That is called a specific. Here is kamala who is clear as mud it. We love our country. I love our country i know we all do that is why everybody is here right now we love our country. We take pride in the privilege of being american. We are in optimistic people. American spy character are people who have dreams and ambitions and aspirations. Greg: opera's face is like get me the [bleep] out of here. What the hell is this crazy lady saying? here is trump on the border. What they have done with the border and the wall and the whole thing you could have built an extra 200 miles i built much more than i said it was going to build and it worked. I had the mexican government give a gust 28,000 troops. We had so many mexican troops they had no choice. Otherwise i said i would put tariffs on your cars. Greg: a past experience and the present example. Here is kamala. This is not a theoretical issue for me. This is something that i have worked on. My work into my career has always been about saying let's fix problems. Let's address the needs because we know it is in our capacity to do that. Suite two trump told you what he did and 20 will do. Kamala continued to treat the english language the way that p diddy treats justin bieber. You can take that anyway you want. He diddy data. Here is trump being as blunt as it gets. You kind of separate the french it from the legal stuff. You sue me, i get it that is what you do. But do you want to use my plane? fine. I have to do that because otherwise i would have nobody to talk to at all. Greg: here is kamala on god knows what. We believe is what is possible, we believe in what can be. We believe in fighting for that. That is how we came into being and that is who we are we believe in all of that. This is a moment where we stand knowing what we are fighting for. We are not fighting against it, it what we are fighting for. Greg: i will have four more wines. Waitress! she is ignoring me because i am biracial. Anyway, she speaks like a retarded hallmark card. You could not get a more clear contrast and yet there were those who hear harris and love it every bit as much as you love what you heard from trump. What with the great divide? it has to do with deeds and words. Trump workers expected deeds, harris voters are fine with words. A trump supporter foot for trump expecting him to act. I have are supportive votes for harris and that is the act. The act of voting is itself the policy and the point. Specifics do not matter. The boat is a virtue signal a simple requirement with no followup necessary. That was by design. The only basis for voting for a democrat whether it was biden or heres was that it was only the vote that mattered and that it be against trump. They can live with a switch candidates from one with dementia to another with went to brain her. They just expect you to vote for them no matter what. It is an antivote. The voters will receive kamala into their lives with the issues the rest of us care about is ignored whether it is immigration, rising crime, the 20% increase in food and gas prices. They have been convinced none of that matters except only this one time heroic vote for kamala. She could be the first black and indian female president to get us into a nuclear war. For proof listen to msnbc stephanie with the new york times columnist aboard prioritizing the vote for harris over actual policies. It is not too much to ask kamala to say all you for a palestinian state if the masses going to run that stated? yes or no. That's that you do not like her answer are you going to vote for donald trump? no of course i won't. She is not running for perfect. She is running against trump. We have two choices. There were some things you might not know her answer to. In 2024 unlike 2016 for a lot of the american people we know exactly what trump will do, who he is, and the kind of authority is to democracy. Greg: i would say she is more dumb than a box of rocks but at least you can throw those at brian kilmeade. That is her strategy and that might work. So how do you persuade a democratic filter to support to kamala when they aren't even interested in issues? the only counter strategy is not to call them idiots that will fall on deaf ears. And stead to direct them to outlets telling them what to believe. The best way to unravel a naive liberal role is to expose the lies of those feeding them lies. The direct brainwashers. When you get a chance simply ask a kamala supporter why not trump? when they call trump racist or sexist be prepared to debunk the lies whether that is the drinking bleach hoax, or something else, all it takes is one debunking to make them think the media is not giving them the whole story. You were not asking them to vote for trump, you are just adjusting the information they are getting on trump is really, in fact,, trustworthy. It helps to remind them that 8590 5% of the media is prone kamala and antitrump. Which tells us that when they believe they are the starting to legitimate news they are being propagandized, and brainwashed. That is the first step out of this bubble of blubber. If they are open to it asked them to watch the two interviews. You cannot watch both and walk away thinking that the media has been telling you the truth. Maybe that will tell them not to let cretins like the view make their decisions. They had to voting for harris and then celebrating with a triple order of triple alfredo. Hear he is. Greg: let's welcome tonight's guests! he has bedded a lot of women when he worked at that mattress store. Comedian joe machi. He looks like the boar you can bring home to mom until he hits on your dad, guy benson! this navy reservist floats everyone's vote, morgan o tagus! and he can see everybody's bald spots. New york times bestselling author and comedian tyrus! joe, i always know this will be a heart and sexy show when you are wearing your members only jacket. Skyblue. Skype blue. I am not a model, greg. Greg: yes, you are. I do not know what to follow that up with. It is interesting we talk about how sexy i am because that contrast the strategies between harris and trump running for president. Harris is running to hook up on election night she will tell thank lies, trump is running for a good four year relationship so he is telling you hard truths. When hear he says i do not want to ban fracking that is likely saying i am a moving producer, secret agent, that does not have toenail fungus. When trump says we will have to shoot some drug dealers in the head? that is like me saying do not spend it so much money on your nails and handbags it is stupid and nobody cares. [laughter] greg: you do not realize how brilliant that analogy is. I am so going to repeat that word for word tomorrow. And i'm going to take credit for it. That is fair enough uri boss you are my boss. Greg: do not forget she is angling for a onenight stand. And you are expecting a fouryear relationship from him you are expecting specifics. Whereas voters with kamala will show up and disappear. What say you all well manicured one? what was interesting about the opera exchange was how clearly under or unimpressed opera was. Opera has interviewed a lot of very impressive people over the years over herself is very unimpressive. She was watching this person across from her and that her and that internal monologue must have been something. Because she was not loving what you heard. There were a few times, generalist do not ask kamala followup questions of her about anything oprah did a version of a followup where she would trail off and the word salad and say what you were saying with is it your plan is this. And harris would say exactly. And harris is like i should be in that seat. You could see it coming out of your eye balls. Greg: how dangerous would president harris be given the fact that we really do not know when terms of foreign policy what this will do. She does not commit to anything. Not to be hyperbolic. Greg: by the way, you should have cleaned up tonight. Sorry, i will try harder next time. Literally greg walks into the green room and says you look awful. He just likes to pull my hair like we are on the playground because he actually likes me. Greg: that was just a couple years ago. Listen, how could you not be concerned about president harris? under her and by then we have seen the worst war in europe sense world war ii, onto the two of them are u. S. Navy in the middle east to, are u. S. Navy ships are experiencing more compact and more action that they have seen sense world war ii. So if you are xi jinping and you are making the calculation of what you want to do with taiwan or the philippines this is open season for despots and dictators around the world. This will be a really scary place the pentagon announced today that you they are sending troops around the world. Dish should be a deterrent to rogue states. Greg: speaking of rogue states cacti risk, i find it hard to believe that this race will be closed. It is not, it is not close. Listen, even the audience, whenever a woman plays with her hair while she is on tv of all places you know it [bleep] is not going well. At one point she did the cacti have never seen oprah ever go and at one point it was because it was snatch but the more answers you pulled out of her it was like this is not it. To the point. [applause] to the point where they have not changed audience members seats during the show which means that was cut. They had to take breaks. There was a break there was probably a water break where she went back to her team. If this was a fight and that was her corner they ran out of tableaux to throw. Like we keep throwing tableaux and she keeps going out there. We have to work on the fifth because this will be over by 10:00 eastern. The american people just like you saw what happened with budweiser it is not the ones in the camera it is they once were working. I think we said it best when we say we have seen enough. Greg: i hope you are right. The hot mess gets endorsed byec the irs. Au get back to better breathing with fasenra, an addon treatment for eosinophilic asthma that is taken once every 8 weeks. Fasenra is not for sudden breathing problems or other eosinophilic conditions. Allergic reactions may occur. Don't stop your asthma treatments without talking with your doctor. Tell your doctor if your asthma worsens. Headache and sore throat may occur. Tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection. Step back out there with fasenra. Ask your doctor if it's right for you. () liberty mutual customized my car insurance so i saved hundreds. With the money i saved i thought i'd get a wax figure of myself. Cool right? look at this craftmanship. I mean they even got my nostrils right. It's just nice to know that years after i'm gone this guy will be standing the test of ti. . . He's melting! oh jeez. . . Nooo. . . Oh gaa. . . Only pay for what you need. liberty, liberty, liberty, liberty woman: why did we choose safelite? we're always working on a project. While loading up our suv, one extra push and. . . Crack! so, we scheduled at safelite. Com. We were able to track our technician and knew exactly when he'd arrive. We can keep working! synth music woman: safelite came to us. Tech: hi, i'm kendrick. Woman: with a replacement we could trust. That's service the way we want it. Vo: schedule free mobile service now at safelite. Com. Singers: safelite repair, safelite replace. a story in five words. Greg: irs endorses harris for president. This is amazing the national treasury employees union i did not even know you could have a union and the government representing various federal workers, irs agents, say they are backing kamala because of her investments to rebuild the irs under the inflation reduction act. Think about that. That inflation reduction act was a payoff for votes. It doubled the size of the irs and the irs is like think you will like you we want you to win. It is remarkable, a that the irs employees have a union that should not be a thing but apparently it is a thing. They put out this glowing endorsement they said she share