People took part in the uk leg of the World Triathlon championship series last weekend. The Health Security agency says it is asking those with symptoms to send a sample for testing to determine the cause of the illness. North cumbrian water says there have been no sewage discharges at the beach since 2021. This is gb news across the uk on tv in your car on Digital Radio and on your Smart Speaker by saying play gb news now though, time for headliners. Headliners. Hello and welcome to headliners. Hello and welcome to headliners. Im josh howie. And joining me to go through mondays newspapers is a comic with a podcast, but its a successful one. Frances foster. Successful one. Frances foster. Well done on that mate. And returning to headliners after touring the other side of the world. Kerry marks. Hey world. Its kerry marks. Hey i was expecting a big round of applause, forgot that applause, but i forgot that theres no audience. One mate. Theres no one here, mate. Theyre applauding. Theres no one here, mate. Themakepplauding. Theres no one here, mate. The makepplaudaudience. Make up an audience. Make up an audience. Havent they dont care. You havent seen you for a long time. Havent of it. I havent been out of it. I havent been out of it. Across across the other side of the world. Of other bits and a number of other bits and pieces in other countries. , antipodean you know, antipodean like your open. I can see a your shirt is open. I can see a little chester. Your shirt is open. I can see a littimike chester. Your shirt is open. I can see a littimike went. Ster. Your shirt is open. I can see a littimike went. Isthad choice. Your shirt is open. I can see a litjust ke went. Isthad choice. Your shirt is open. I can see a litjust worked. Isthad choice. Your shirt is open. I can see a litjust worked outiad choice. Your shirt is open. I can see a litjust worked out that choice. Your shirt is open. I can see a litjust worked out that ch no, nothings changed. Right. Lets have a look at those front theres a front pages. And theres a little were little technical snafu. So were going manually. Here going to do them manually. Here we go. Remote island plan for channel migrants. Woohooi lets channel migrants. Woohooi lets go to the next one. I dont know. I cant read that. Well, bosses who hire Illegal Immigrants face ruin. Woohoo lets go for the next one. Mps defy anger over second jobs with outside earnings of 10 million. Ooh we got how many more. 7 oh, here we go. This is a good one. 74 demand action on danger dogs. Thats actually something i totally , totally agree with i totally, totally agree with there. And secret labs vaccine plan to prevent bird flu pandemic. Yeah, im sure were not going to hear about that one again. And finally, the daily star, logical captain, and star, a logical captain, and thats your front pages. I think thats your front pages. I think we can do it that way the whole time. Kicking things off with the daily mail. Frances yes. So this talks about the conservative governments new new ways for immigration and their new immigration scheme , their new immigration scheme, which is theyre going to send Illegal Migrants to the island of ascension. Of ascension. And what theyre going to do is theyre going to send them there. And its pretty much a deserted island. Its about a thousand coast of thousand miles off the coast of south america, 1500 the thousand miles off the coast of south ofnerica, 1500 the thousand miles off the coast of south of africa 1500 the thousand miles off the coast of south of africa and the thousand miles off the coast of south of africa and its the thousand miles off the coast of south of africa and its 4000 coast of africa and its 4000 miles from the uk. And theyre just going to place them there before for then deciding where to send them , which is a great to send them, which is a great scheme. Interesting now, the thing is, theres a slight with this. I slight problem with this. I believe that kerry, youve actually to ive been believe that kerry, youve acthely to ive been believe that kerry, youve acthe island. To ive been to the island. Its wonderful. To the island. And nonderful. To the island. And youierful. To the island. And you know , whilst its and you know, whilst its going from one extreme, rwanda is one extreme to go to. Lets send them to a its a tropical paradise. It is beautiful. Paradise. It is beautiful. I mean, theres volcanic rock and then the most incredible tropic, Beautiful Mountain and so on. Its an island with no insects on it. Wow really . Lets send them to the insect. I want to them to the insect. I want to live on the insect. I would jump at the chance to live there. Theres more mosquitoes at the chance to live there. The beachesrore mosquitoes at the chance to live there. The beachesrore empty. Toes at the chance to live there. The beaches lore empty. Toes no the beaches are empty. No, no mosquitoes. Beaches mosquitoes. The beaches are empty. Are beautiful. Empty. They are beautiful. Theres giant turtles along the beach. There are. Can you say the word farting on this program . And think thats . And i think thats not too far. Are too far. Yeah, there are far too rocks. Farting rocks. Rocks. There are farting rocks. You walk along beach and you walk along the beach and because theres air holes running the rocks , you running through the rocks, you running through. He rocks, you running through the rocks, you running through. And cks, you running through the rocks, you running through. And its, you hear this sound. And its actually fascinating. Actually fascinating. So human rights lawyers are going have field day with going to have a field day with the rocks. That the old farting rocks. That sounds like the old farting rocks. That soundzto like the old farting rocks. That soundzto me like the old farting rocks. That soundzto me. Like abuse to me. Well, i can identify then as an illegal migrant. I think its going to. Well, you dont need identify. You dont need to identify. We know this this know your past, but this this sounds like it could well backfire. Then frances. Well, what it looks like is another poorly thought out way shock. Poorly thought out way shock. I know from the conservatives who just they cannot seem to get it together. They cannot seem to get it together. They cant seem to put together a coherent strategy and the whole thing is a shambles. Well, the good news is election is there isnt an election coming next year. Coming up in the next year. Yeah. Does mondays yeah. What does mondays telegraphthe telegraph tells us kerry the telegraph tells us that bosses who hire ill legal migrants and then it puts in inverted commas, face ruin , inverted commas, face ruin, which i assume because its not part of one sentence. I dont mean they ruin. Mean that they will face ruin. They going they mean that theyre going to ruin their faces, which i think is a bit bit over the top really. And this is the idea of just fining bosses. So much that it isnt worth their while hiring illegal migrant s, which i think would be better to send the bosses to rwanda personally. But bosses to rwanda personally. But but this is the new plan. But this is the new plan. So i mean, we i mean, i guess are we talking here about because theres a lot Chinese Restaurant and indian restaurants. Theres a lot of migration used there. Is that migration used there. Is that does that mean were going to be paying does that mean were going to be paying more . Yeah, were going to be paying paying more. So i think what we need is we need to look at need to do is we need to look at the Illegal Migrants and go, right. You good when it right. Are you good when it comes doing a curry all sweet comes to doing a curry all sweet and pork because if you are and sour pork because if you are this. Oh, there we go. Theres a telegraph always. No, no. Lets stick with the telegraph for a second. Dont no, no. Lets stick with the telegrit h for a second. Dont no, no. Lets stick with the telegrit awaya second. Dont no, no. Lets stick with the telegrit away because. Dont no, no. Lets stick with the telegrit away because theyve no, no. Lets stick with the teleanother|y because theyve no, no. Lets stick with the tele another little ause theyve no, no. Lets stick with the tele another little ause � there. E got another little story there. Tens to miss. Tens of thousands to miss. University offer. Is quite university offer. This is quite an interesting thing. Carry about great inflation over the last few years, certainly through covid where essentially you grade that you you got the grade that you thought deserved. You thought you deserved. Do you think is a you . Think this is a good you . Sorry . Whats the reason so sorry . Whats the reason why missing university . Why theyre missing university . Because now theyre they dont grades. Because now theyre they doryeah, grades. Because now theyre they doryeah, theyre � ades. Have yeah, theyre going to have to okay because its to actually. Okay because its actually that. Actually higher than that. Theyre going to miss the university. One. University. Im not getting one. Yeah, loads of people yeah, theres loads of people like havent been like us who havent even been informed course informed, so. Well, of course the effects of lockdown are just coming now and its going to be years until we see how much damage we did in closing schools. Confusing everything. So, yeah , thats just one of the after effects. And you know what . The telegraph still coming through with actual news. With yet more actual news. Theyve got natwest limits access to cash for certain customers. Now of course this is on the of whats happened on the back of whats happened with is big deal with farage. This is a big deal and i think people are slowly becoming more aware of the kind of were walking into this Cashless Society or or being pushed. Well, we all have been signed. Well, we all been pushed into a Cashless Society because it seems that more and more, you go to Certain Companies like prets or your aldis, and they dont accept cash and it just feels like were being denied cash. Like were being denied cash. And if you look at the way that we use cash before the pandemic and after the pandemic , it is and after the pandemic, it is completely different. I havent completely different. I havent seen cash since the pandemic. You havent seen cash . You havent seen cash . No. No. No. Do you remember what cash looks like . No. Cant remember no. I cant even remember what dont even get a choice we dont even get a choice now people push the card now either. People push the card reader almost immediately reader to you almost immediately. And its very its very rare now, even considers you now, someone even considers you might night at the might want to put night at the strip wasnt strip club, wasnt it. Was a hard time. Yeah. It was a hard time. Yeah. It was a hard time. Yeah. But whats the front of but whats the front page of the francis i so the, the front page of the guardian is all about mps second jobs josh howie. So its basically saying that theres a lot of mps support and surprise tory mps who are claiming a huge amount of for money their second jobs. If youve got people like for instance, Geoffrey Geoffrey cox, whos been paid nearly. £6 cox, whos been paid nearly. £6 million as a lawyer and you go, well, hes a lawyer, whats the problem that . Well the problem with that . Well the problem with that . Well the problem hes working all problem is, if hes working all those hours as lawyer, how is those hours as a lawyer, how is he serving his constituents . And he serving his constituents . And i think answer to this and i think the answer to this and this is controversial point, this is a controversial point, and a lot of people dont and i know a lot of people dont like i think we need to pay like it. I think we need to pay our more. I think like it. I think we need to pay our more. I think think our mps more. I think i think we need our mps more and need to pay our mps more and then them doing other then ban them from doing other jobs, having jobs, ban them from having a second you listen . Second job, do you listen . Jacob rees mogg according to the guardian here, hes paid 29 grand month do this show. Grand a month to do this show. Wow. To do this show. Yeah to do his show. This channel. Do his show. To do this channel. To channel. Yeah. To do this channel. 29 grand. 29 grand. 29 grand. 29 yeah. About 600,000 29 grand. Yeah. About 600,000 youtube subscribers says he doesnt have. Were all getting £29 for this, were all getting £29 for thiswell , yeah, were not even well, yeah, were not even gettingcourse , if they i of course, if they do. I didnt getting didnt know you were getting £29, 29 second are £29, 29 second jobs. We are going to lose half the presenters here at news. Presenters here at gb news. Say so. Its a positive. The guardian say for the the guardian does say for the right news channel, they right wing gb news channel, they have wing in have to put the right wing in every they be. Every time they just be. I didnt know. No one told me this was have didnt know. No one told me this was it. Have done it. Very frustrating because done it. Like lery frustrating because done it. Like theyre strating because done it. Like theyre constantly ause done it. Like foryre constantly ause done it. Like for thisconstantly ause done it. Like for this narrative. ause done it. Like for this narrative. Juste pushing for this narrative. Just because you have right wing people on doesnt it people on it doesnt make it right wing, not right wing people right wing, not right wing peopwas it was free i was told it was a free speech say speech channel where i can say what i is still true what i like. Is that still true or not . Thats right. Or not . And s right. Or not . And whenever wing i say am and whenever wing i say i am in given moment, the biggest in any given moment, the biggest and an interesting stat and heres an interesting stat the you know who the one who owns the most. Im the labour. Im the labour. Im the labour. I get a guess. Go on. Oh from laboun labour. W from labour. Whos whos the biggest whos the one who coins it for labour. It the most for labour. No keir starmer. No keir starmer. No david lammy knight grand knight. Is that lbc. Is that lbc. Oh of course , yeah. Oh of course, yeah. Oh of course, yeah. Oh of course, yeah. Oh really . Yeah, of course. Oh really . Yeah, of course. Lets put yeah. By the way, lets put that in proportion to boris johnson, whos getting about 5 million. Thats the guardian. Here, but also a little story here, but your sleep affected your your sleep is affected by your postcode , which is ill be postcode, which is ill be looking trying find looking it up and trying to find out affects my out where my postcode affects my sleep or not. Im probably losing that tonight. Losing sleep over that tonight. Oh, wow. W w sorry. Its adding to it more , right. Lets , hopefully. Right. Well, lets finish star. Finish with the daily star. Illogical captain, says carry illogical captain, says the daily star and this is a story William Shatner has stepped in into the discussion of whether there are aliens visiting us and amongst us, of course. And as an expert who has been there , William Shatner says been there, William Shatner says no , no. And theres a little no, no. And theres a little cartoon of spock saying little green men , im all ears, which green men, im all ears, which is a joke about his big ears. If you havent figured that out. And yeah, this is this becomes become theres been ive literally seen physical evidence of him, visual evidence of him talking to aliens. Talking to aliens. Why is he now turning around . Why is he now turning around . He went around the universe and told them about love. I dont could take dont know how we could take that they solved that back. Really. They solved most of prime directive. Most of their prime directive. Well, they just want to silence it, arent they . Its a government scheme, mate. Wait. The the for the cats out of the bag for a long time. Know well, william i know. Well, well. William shatner. I dont shatner. Im sorry. I dont believe you. Thats it for part one. Coming in part two, one. Coming up in part two, were looking into police admin moss pockets and some moss deep pockets and some political mudslinging welcome back to headliners with me. Josh howie joined night by my best friends, Francis Foster and kerry marks. You guys didnt know you were my best friends, did best find best way to find out. Best way to find out. I wanted you but i just wanted to let you know. And thats i brought know. And thats why i brought you evening. First you here this evening. First up is news. And francis is mondays news. And francis labour discovered a unique labour has discovered a unique way dealing with the migrant problem. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Absolutely. Labour are absolutely smashing it. So theyre going to continue short term use of barges to house migrants. A shadow minister migrants. A shadow minister admits it, and thats because its all very well to be in opposition and to criticise the tories and go, theyre evil, theyre racist. All of a sudden theyre racist. All of a sudden youre going to come in and youre going to come in and youre going to be faced with the bitter reality that this country falling pieces and country is falling to pieces and the infrastructure is a shambles. And so, stephen kinnock, the shadow minister, said the reality is that weve got tens of thousands of people in hotels. We need to get them out of and need to get of hotels and we need to get them off the and out of them off the barges and out of them off the barges and out of the military camps then the military camps too. He then threw under a bus, threw the tories under a bus, which is fair enough because theyve what theyve been in power for what seems years. But seems the last 90 years. But hes basically said that labour are to do everything are going to do everything that they but they can where they can, but theyre all going to be on the on the barges. Theyre all going to be on the on the barges. Yeah. On the barges. Yeah. I mean, what you think i mean, what do you think about people about this, carrie . Some people would say is being would say this is them being somewhat hypocritical. Hypocritical, this them mature. Whole story here is we the whole story here is we havent a plan either, havent got a plan either, really, isnt it . I mean, its were going to get them out of barge and military camps and not saying what theyre getting them into. So you cant get people out of something without planning on whats the next stage. And there is no next stage. And there is no next stage here. Theyre thinking about getting rid this about getting rid of this contingency measures, but they have no new contingency contingenc