Stuck in gridlocked traffic this weekend during an unprecedented closure of the m25. Drivers are being warned to stay away from a five mile stretch in surrey between junctions ten and 11, which has been shut until 6 am. On monday. Its the first scheduled daytime all lanes shutdown of the m25 since it openedin shutdown of the m25 since it opened in 1986. And for the latest stories, sign up to gb news alerts by scanning the qr code on your screen or go to gbnews. Com alerts. Now its time for headliners. For headliners. Hello and welcome to headliners im Cressida Wetton and joining me tonight are gb news answer to jedward. Its josh howie and leo kearse. How are howie and leo kearse. How are you guys. 7 we dont have the hair. We dont have the hair. Well you could, you could re you could distribute move some around. Yes ill take some of yours. Thank you. Thats what i do. Thats what i did. Thats what i did. You did didnt you. 7 yeah. You did didnt you . Yeah. Looking fantastic. Ive still got all mine on the back of my head. If anyone can see looks. Yes, its still there. The mullet looking great, guys. Great. Smooth start. All right, look at right, lets have a look at those front pages. So the daily mail goes with plot to crown morden as pm. The telegraph has mercer faces jail over afghan inquiry. The times has church playing race card and inews has deliveroo and uber eats back door to illegal migration. Indian express has hunts olive branch to fearful pensioners. And finally, the daily star mystery of the rampant beavers. And those were your front pages. And those were your front pages. Okay, kicking things off with the daily mail. Josh . Yeah plot to crown morton as pm. So yeah, the tories are getting desperate. Theyre all about to be out of a job in a couple of months, and they just want to do one last spin of the wheel if they can wheel just to see if they can finally an electable finally get on an electable leader, i dont think its going to any good. Theyve theyve to do any good. Theyve theyve landed on penny mordaunt. She has skills. She wears has a lot of skills. She wears a cape. Well, she can carry a sword. And admittedly she those used to be very useful skills when it came to running the country. Unfortunately now there are other things that are required as well, like recognising what a woman is. Well, i mean, apparently shes good at diving as well. Did you know that . I didnt know that. Found that out. Okay, well, apparently shes got my vote on some celebrity splash programme, isnt splash programme, which isnt as dirty it sounds. Dirty as it sounds. Sorry, so, thoughts . Sorry, so, leo. Thoughts . Sorry, so, leo. Thoughts . Yeah. Sorry, so, leo. Thoughts . Ymean, i think, i think at i mean, i think, i think at this point, i mean, with rishi, theyre down, this point, i mean, with rishi, thewhy down, this point, i mean, with rishi, thewhy not . Down, this point, i mean, with rishi, thewhy not . Not down, this point, i mean, with rishi, thewhy not . Not gamble . So why not . Why not gamble . Why not the mystery not see whats in the mystery box . Go for penny morton . Box . If we go for penny morton . The thing that sort of undermines of how much undermines the sort of how much people penny people really believe that penny is lead the party is the person to lead the party to victory, says the mystery source theres source says that theres a feeling that we cannot go, go on as we and that even penny as we are, and that even penny would be better. But wow, sounds like believe in her. Like you really believe in her. Thats fantastic. Thats fantastic. I think that theyre being i do think that theyre being silly. I the person silly. I think the only person who genuinely would have a chance Kemi Badenoch. Chance would be Kemi Badenoch. Yeah, even now she yeah, but she even now she i mean, because she has good communication skills. Shes plain speaking. She says it as it is. I dont necessarily agree with everything that she says. Certainly agree on some the certainly agree on some of the stuff about like knowing what a woman for woman is and fighting for womens rights , but she seems to womens rights, but she seems to be communicator and be a good communicator and against someone like keir starmer, who i know you guys have different feelings about, but i think he has positive qualities as well. I dont think communication. I just say i just dont think his communication is necessarily the of his skills. No. Imagine getting trapped in a with of them. In a lift with one of them. Wouldnt rather be trapped wouldnt you rather be trapped with wouldnt you rather be trapped witiwell, actually, well, actually, one of my fantasies. But i think penny fantasies is. But i think penny mordaunt, shes getting too much stick for, for, you know, taking her overly woke view on what a woman is , you know, because woman is, you know, because because weve got to remember a couple ago, nobody knew couple of years ago, nobody knew what woman was. Everybody was what a woman was. Everybody was running like, running around being like, whats nobody knows . Whats a woman . Nobody knows . Keir like, dont keir starmer is like, i dont know, got penises . Know, have they got penises . Have elephant ears . Have they got big elephant ears . Have they got big elephant ears . Have got 20 legs and walk have they got 20 legs and walk like a centipede . Had any like a centipede . Nobody had any idea. You know, i dont think idea. So you know, i dont think we can judge her by the standards of 16 months ago, we would to know that would at least want to know that shes firmer opinion now, shes got a firmer opinion now, wouldnt we . Think still well, i think that she still does towards that side. And does lie towards that side. And theyre saying that the only way that let her in as that theyll let her in as leader hands all of leader is if she hands all of that over to the more that stuff over to the more right of party. Yeah, but right of the party. Yeah, but its that its right its amazing that its a right wing the talk to the weapons, so the talk to the weapons, the party going to have the tory party are going to have a party to a woman as wing of the party to decide a committee, a woman decide that a committee, a woman is committee. Decide that a committee, a woman is committee. Right. Favour . All in favour . All in favour . Get there in the end. Ill get there in the end. Ill get there in the end. Moving to the aillio. So the ai has surprisingly, great bit of Investigative Journalism by ai. So journalism by the ai. So deliveroo and uber eats are a back door to uk illegal migration. Obviously they should be coming to the front door, with the food. But yeah, apparently thousands of these, the riders accounts. So if you the riders accounts. So if you want to deliver food for, for deliveroo or uber eats or whatever, you can actually just sell or rent out your, your, your sort of past to, to do that to other people. And there are over 100,000 people on facebook groups doing this is really is really shocking and its unsafe. Really shocking and its unsafe. You know, often the riders dont have the insurance. Its apparently the responsibility of the rider who holds the account to make sure that whoever the renting the account to does, obviously theyre not going to do it, you know what i mean . Like, i think theyve got like, i dont think theyve got an department, do they. An hr department, do they. Dont actually deliveroo do. But these individual riders dont, have dont, some people have complained, as well as the insurance the fact insurance issue and the fact that its enabling illegal migration you come migration because you can come over and rent one of these passes to deliver food for deliveroo without somebody in the country. What youre saying is they havent got any papers, they cant anywhere they cant go anywhere else, they cant go anywhere else, they cant a real cant get on a decent a real payroll somewhere. Any number. Deliveroo bill. Yeah. For 70, £70 a week or something, you can get deliveroo account, £70 a week or something, you can get deliveroo account , rent get a deliveroo account, rent a deliveroo account and then deliver deliver food. But obviously been obviously you havent been through safety training. Through any safety training. Youve your youve still got all your attitudes bringing attitudes that youre bringing from medieval country attitudes that youre bringing from coming medieval country attitudes that youre bringing from coming from eval country attitudes that youre bringing from coming from to, l country attitudes that youre bringing from coming from to, to ountry attitudes that youre bringing from coming from to, to to, itry women. So, you know, this woman have some Poor Customer Service or this, this woman because she like groceries using deliveroo. Turns up at her door some guy turns up at her door and hes all like, youre pretty lovely lady and all this sort of stuff. Sorry for doing the accent, but you know, beautiful girl, beautiful girl, indian beautiful girl, lovely. No, hes scottish. Lovely girl. No, hes scottish. I think the language youre supposed to use, he made her feel unsafe uncomfortable. Feel unsafe or uncomfortable. Feel yeah, he made her feel uncomfortable. But becker. Uncomfortable. But then becker. Obviously real name. Who obviously not a real name. Who did for . Did you vote did you vote for . Did you vote for liberal parties . Theyre all for liberal parties . Theyre all for open borders. And anybody for open borders. And anybody can come here. And anything that floats, its yeah, you floats, its like, yeah, you made made happen, made you made this happen, becker. And now its happening to you learnt your to you. Have you learnt your lesson . To you. Have you learnt your les | n . For becker. Think i feel for becker. I think shed probably rather have that deliveroo arrive, though, shed probably rather have that deliv leo� arrive, though, shed probably rather have that deliv leo grillingarrive, though, shed probably rather have that delivleo grilling here, though, shed probably rather have that delivleo grilling her aboutrgh, shed probably rather have that delivleo grilling her about her than leo grilling her about her politics. That would be more. Theres a bunch of reasons why is a bad idea. This why this is a bad idea. This isnt actually, i dont believe it uncovered it was them who first uncovered this. The this. It was covered in the newspaper. Have story, newspaper. We have this story, but guess theyve into but i guess theyve looked into it more. But yeah, of it a bit more. But yeah, of course. Safety, anybody course. Womens safety, anybody every. Know, i get home every. You know, when i get home from from order from work, from here, ill order an whatever. And an uber eats or whatever. And its someone whos its always someone whos different, theres also different, but theres also this idea could even be, idea that they could even be, like, part of a modern slavery gang, and theyre sort of being sent out there, so theres a bunch reasons they need bunch of reasons why they need to obviously down on this. To obviously clamp down on this. But me, Biggest Issue is but for me, the Biggest Issue is do you tip in cash and then dont tip because on the app. But then it looks like youre cheap on the app. Thats that. Cheap on the app. Thats that. Thats the real dilemma here. Thats the real dilemma here. I cant believe youre asking me about tipping. You never tip. Me about tipping. You never tip. Really. You never stop. I always deliveroo youve already got to pay loads of money for it. And also. Like what . Like i just found out that, you know, theyre not even. Theyre theyre not even. Theyre cheating the home office. I was i was intrigued to. They interviewed some of the riders who said, well, i went to the home and presented all home office and presented all my documents, the office documents, and the Home Office Said i was like, wow, thats said no. I was like, wow, thats amazing. The home Office Actually doing their jobs for once. To the point once. I mean, not to the point of actually , you know, making of actually, you know, making illegal people home. Illegal people go home. I can hope, the i can only hope, okay, the times are they going with . Josh church playing race card , x equality tsar criticises cvs slavery fund says britain is slavery fund and says britain is less divided than 40 years ago. So this is lord sewell, he he headed up the Boris Johnsons commission on race and ethnic disparities. Hes got a book coming called black success coming out called black success the , and he was the surprising truth, and he was really sort of, made into a villain by members of black community, not all the black community, not all the black community, because its a disparate group, but as as and sort of actually, there was quite a lot of racism directed towards him because the results that they found in didnt meet peoples expectations, i. E. The uk wasnt the most racist place in the whole world. And actually money that how much money youre born into has a much bigger impact, its not that race plays no impact. But anyway , the point no impact. But anyway, the point is hes we covered the story. How the church of england, they they sort of they said, were going to give 100 million because you know, happened because you know, what happened back the day. And then they back in the day. And then they 90, back in the day. And then they go, well actually were going to give billion, but it wont give it a billion, but it wont be our money. It will just be some christians. Who be our money. It will just be som guilty. Christians. Who be our money. It will just be sontheyty. Christians. Who be our money. It will just be sonthey the zhristians. Who be our money. It will just be son they the church, s. Who be our money. It will just be son they the church, s. Vgot they the church, theyve got a few quid put by for this sort of eventuality. Yeah. And i guess they are an institution that, that depends on guilt. So you can understand, understand this. I the understand this. But i think the whole idea reparations is, is whole idea of reparations is, is ridiculous. Theyre taking money from people who havent done anything wrong give it to anything wrong to give it to people. People didnt people. Who . Those people didnt do anything to them. Thats isnt. How do you. I mean, if you if you have a half African Heritage and a half european, what do you do . Give yourself its really i yourself £50. Its really i dont how you. Dont know how you. This, this is the, but this, this is the, the, the whole sort of idea, the philosophy that reparations in genders also means that, so if youre saying that people now are responsible for for the, the bad things their ancestors did, youre also saying that people now can claim to all the good things that their ancestors did. So, you know, as a scot, you know, the invention of the television, the invention of antibiotics, nobody gets use antibiotics, nobody gets to use any them giving me any of them without giving me loads money. Loads of money. Well, seems entirely well, that seems entirely reasonable. Finally paid reasonable. And finally paid money. Lets have a quick money. Yeah, lets have a quick look at the star. Leo. Oh, the star. So the star has damned if we know how they got here. Thats a little pun, because its the mystery of the rampant beavers. So there are beavers in cornwall, they dont have waxing salons, and have enough waxing salons, and nobody knows how they got here. And beavers are super cute. And they did want to reintroduce beavers to the wild, in britain, after decades of the hollywood, and hell. And theyre super cute animals , but they do knock down animals, but they do knock down trees and dam dam , rivers. Trees and dam dam, rivers. So you get we dont. Youre like a nature documentary. Like a nature documentary. Sort of a very, very badly informed one. Reading, reading off. Reading, reading off. We dont know how they got there. They didnt go by train. No, but it turns out theyre in the perfect area. Well for them, dont what the them, i dont know what the beavers to think. Beavers are going to think. Well, were talking well, but they were talking about them anyway. Well, but they were talking abiim them anyway. Well, but they were talking abiim thinking them anyway. Well, but they were talking abiim thinking someone anyway. Well, but they were talking abiim thinking someone maybe i. Well, but they were talking ab ive seen ive definitely seen seen in canada. Seen ive seen them in canada. Okay. Okay. Well, and the internet. Well, and on the internet. Right. For the front right. Thats it for the front pages. The break. Welcome back to headliners. Im still chris whitten, and im joined by one comedian who thinks kate is still alive. Its josh howie and another who is suspiciously certain that shes not. And its leo kearse. Okay lets start with some bad news for people who love sick notes and being dramatic in saturdays telegraph. Josh, yes, is no such josh, yes, there is no such thing as long covid, say health officials. Please do not tweet officials. Please do not tweet me after this show and start going. Youre a liar. Youre youre a big pharma owns you or whatever it is, or theyll probably actually wake up tomorrow, wont they . But, yes, theyre saying here, this is, in queensland, australia. Theyve looked at the results and theyre basically saying theres no such thing as long covid per se. Been se. What people have been suffering from a real suffering from is a real phenomenon, its what phenomenon, but its what happens in a post, viral happens like in a post, viral syndrome. Right. So were not denying their symptoms. There are symptoms. Symptoms. There are symptoms. Yes, but we are denying that its that its specially. Yeah. To covid. The yeah. To a covid. And the reason like a lot reason why it seems like a lot of haveitis reason why it seems like a lot of have it is because, of of people have it is because, of course, lots of people got covid if Louis Schaefer i if it exists. Louis schaefer i met him, at same time. So met him, at the same time. So that why it seems like its that is why it seems like its a real phenomenon. But if you had a or a cold, may have a flu or a cold, you may have similar symptoms. And they would a flu or a cold, you may have simi|continue oms. And they would a flu or a cold, you may have simi|continue for;. And they would a flu or a cold, you may have simi|continue for a and they would a flu or a cold, you may have simi|continue for a long hey would a flu or a cold, you may have simi|continue for a long timevould afterwards. And also you have the and also you can have the sort psychosomatic effect of sort of psychosomatic effect of everybodys about long sort of psychosomatic effect of everbeors about long sort of psychosomatic effect of everbeo then about long sort of psychosomatic effect of everbeo then youre bout long sort of psychosomatic effect of everbeo then youre like, long covid. So then youre like, well, feel rough. So well, i feel a bit rough. So ive got long covid as well. Well, isnt it interesting that th