Claire Eastham: ‘It felt as though pure, liquid terror had been injected into my veins. I thought f**k I’m dying’ Katie Law Claire Eastham has had 371 panic attacks in seven years, which means she knows only too well what they feel like, what brings them about, which drugs help and why ice lollies calm her down. Here, the 34 year-old mental health blogger from Manchester, whose new book, F**ck I Think I’m Dying, is out now, shares her story. When and where did you have your first panic attack? I was 24 years old, sitting in a meeting room, with two of my then team managers. I worked for a major publishing house at the time and was interviewing for a potential promotion. I’d been working myself into the ground for months, but I convinced myself that it would all be worth it once I progressed to the next stage of my career. That morning, before the meeting, I knew that something was ‘wrong’ before I even stepped in the room. I felt dizzy, on edge, and my mouth was dry.