Im jimmy and im the host. Thanks for watching. Thanks for coming. And of course on behalf of [ cheers and applause ] very nice. On ba of all of us here at the show, our studio audience, los angeles, we want to send good thoughts to those affected by hurricane irma. Irma hit florida pretty hard but it has been downgraded to a tropical storm, which is good. Recovery efforts are under way. This is crazy. Florida is the best. A guy in daytona beach, i dont know if you saw this. As a joke he posted a campaign for his fellow floridians to fire guns at the hurricane to let irma know that we shoot first. [ laughter ] and guess what happened. Some people took it seriously to the point where the Pasco County Sheriffs Department posted this stern warning, do not shoot weapons at irma, you wont make it turn around and it will have very dangerous side effects. [ laughter ] they made a graphic to show you if you fire a bullet at a hurricane, it might come back at you. [ laughter ] in other words if you shoot at a hurricane, it will shoot you back. Always try to negotiate with a hurricane, first. Okay . This is unprecedented. Who shoots at weather . [ laughter ] i mean, even in the middle of a natural disaster, florida is still as floridaish as it can be. Not everybody chose to obey the evacuation orders. This was a live report from miami beach where some local residents decided to hang outside and take it in. Once it starts raining, the wind starts blowing, everyone runs home. The issue becomes once it starts clearing up, people start showing up. Look at these gentlemen here. They came out here to do what . What did you come out to do . We wanted to experience the weather. Just to experience the weather . We heard about all the evaculation going on. [ laughter ] but we just decided to come out to experience the weather. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy well, you know. You do have to [ applause ] sometimes those evaculations can be premature and you have trouble on your hands. Even though they told people to get out of florida, every time you turn on the tv this weekend there was a reporter getting holesed with wind and rain and everything. I saw a lot of concerned and angry comments about this online. People were worried, all of a sudden people start caring about weathermen. Usually we treat them like traffic cones. You know . You see them, maybe you go around. A lot of them are orange. Its kind of like we dont pay much attention to them anymore because we get the weather on our phones. We dont have to wait till the news comes on, its already like in our pants. So as a result, weather is unnecessary on television now. You might as well be announcing what time it is. [ laughter ] instead of like a map, you might as well put a big clock up on the wall and say, its 8 14, in about 16 minutes were looking at a chance of 8 30. [ laughter ] but this is why [ cheers and applause ] this is why this is why weather people are all good look looking now. Because they have no information to give us anymore. [ laughter ] but then the hurricane comes and the news channels send them into it and its like, be careful with my weather guy. He could get killed out there. Fortunately none of them did. Its important to recognize that these brave men and women risk everything for no good reason at all. And i applaud them for that. This is a good story. One of the many people stranded in florida is kristen bell, the actress. She was shooting a movie in orlando and they evacuated two big groups of nursing home residents and moved them into her hotel. In disney world. Kristen decided since they were cooped up to make it fun for them. This is from her instagram. She wrote there are a few thousand senior residents who got evacuated to our hotel. Were going to make lemonade out of irma best we can. Im fueling up the only way i know how to call a few hours of bingo. She called bingo. They had a bingo game for them. They had wheelchair races at midnight. [ laughter ] she ate with them. There she is dining with her new friends. Their grandkids are going to be jealous. When they find out they had dinner with princess anna. Anyway, we contacted kristen. Shes still there in the hotel and all the Senior Citizens are still in the hotel. I believe we have her live . Do we have her live . Yes. There she is. How are you . [ cheers and applause ] im good. Jimmy hows it going . Pretty good. Were all safe and sound here. We have been making the most of a crazy situation. Jimmy it sounds like you are. Is everybody okay there right now . Everybodys fine. We have gotten through it really well mainly because of gary. Jimmy whos gary . Garys the main man here. Were at Walt Disney World swan and dolphin report and gary has been running the roost over here. Gary is exhausted because hes been running toilet paper to peoples rooms at 2 00 in the morning, handing out water. Jimmy wow. Yeah. Jimmy nicely done, gary. I mean, really. Running toilet paper to peoples rooms. [ laughter ] anything you need, its so full service here. When is the last time you slept . The last time i slept was friday night. Woke up saturday morning. We have been at the hotel ever since. Jimmy no. Garys been up for like 72 hours, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy gary, are people asking for toilet paper or are you just delirious and running it to their room . [ laughter ] all day ive just been running down to the rooms at this point. Jimmy i recognize the gentleman to your right is that the guy you sang with on the video . This is john. Jimmy hi, john. This is my side piece here in orlando, jimmy. [ laughter ] you want to say hi to my friend jimmy . Yes, where are you . How are you . Jimmy im in california. How are you . Oh. Im swamped under with beautiful women. With beautiful women, did you hear what he said . Beautiful women. Jimmy wow. Yes. Jimmy this hurricane is working out beautifully for john, ill tell you that. [ laughter ] ill never be the same. Johns been serenading us. We have everyone here from atria senior assisted living. Jimmy hi, unbelievable. We have so many people. And its not just seniors here. Jimmy wow. That is and you are really the best. That is unbelievable that youre doing all this stuff for everyone. We got dogs here, families, everybody. Jimmy all right, well, please give our love to all the families and dogs. Maybe you and john could do a duet for us before we go, i saw you singing together. I told him you were Johnny Carson because he didnt know who you were. [ laughter ] jimmy oh, even better, even better. [ cheers and applause ] do you want to sing some . Thank you all for being here. And we hope you enjoy the show. He says he hopes you enjoy the show. You can have us singing, you can run our video. I posted something on instagram of us singing. Jimmy thank you, kristen. We send our love. [ cheers and applause ] love you guys. Jimmy thats kristen bell in orlando. Heres another light moment that came out of a serious situation. This is from Florida Governor rick scotts press conference on saturday. Pay attention to the man on the right. Hes the sign Language Interpreter who really gave 110 . The threat of significant storm surge along the east, entire west coast of florida has increased. And 6 to 12 feet, think about that 6 to 12 feet of impacts above ground level is now probable. 6 to 12 feet. This will cover your house. If youve ever watched how storm surge works, it flows in fast, very fast. Then it flows out. You will not survive all this storm surge. This is a lifethreatening situation. If youve been ordered to evacuate, you need to leave now. Do not wait. Evacuate. Not tonight, not in an hour. You need to go right now. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy okay. Thats good stuff. Someone please track that man down. Because oh, by the way, i want to guillermo bring me that email for a second. Larry david is here tonight. Dave salmoni is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] larry david i know you both have a david. So you can differentiate. Dave is the one that loves animals, larry hates people, okay . [ laughter ] so, dave brought a venomous snake with him tonight. This is an email that went around the office today, to all Jimmy Kimmel Live staff, subject, animal demo today, please read, importance high. There are venomous snakes present in the studio for todays animal demo. Although their venom has been drained, only personnel essential to the scene will be allowed within 50 feet, please do not enter the small band dressing room unless absolutely necessary. Additionally rehearsal is closed to nonessential personnel. Thank you for your cooperation. Guess who is only person who didnt get this email is . [ laughter ] the nonessential personnel. Thats who. [ laughter ] thanks for alerting me, guillermo. Guillermo youre welcome. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy anyway, who is ready to be within 50 feet of a venomous snake tonight . [ cheers and applause ] were going to take a break. When we come back well update you on the finale of bachelor in paradise and the finale of baby bachelor in paradise. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] we are not here to observe, to sit idly by, or watch from the stands. We are here. For one reason. To leave. A mark. Lexus high performance. With 5. 0liter v8s and sport directshift transmissions. Experience a shift in the natural order. Experience amazing. Grooves in your sandwich . Do you always put cheezit of course theyre chips. Chips. Plus sandwich equals the perfect lunch. Ooooh. Dont forget the pickle. Its kind of a big dill. Cheezit grooves. Chips made with 100 real cheese. Dang right its a chip whentrust the brand doctors trust for themselves. 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Target run and done. Give extra. Get extra. Wiback like it could used to . Neutrogena hydro boost water gel. With hyaluronic acid it plumps skin cells with intense hydration and locks it in. For supple, hydrated skin. Hydro boost. From neutrogena jimmy welcome back to the show. Larry david, dave salmoni, and his animal friends are on the way. First tonight here on abc, the Season Finale of bachelor in paradise. What a season this was and what a show this is, is it a show, really . One of the more colorful characters is a woman named christen. Nobody called her that. They called her scallop fingers. A bunch went out to dinner and christen ordered scallops to go and ate them in the car on the way home. And there are others in the car who claim after she ate she wiped her scallop fingers on another woman, alexis, the one from new jersey who dressed as a dolphin, who you would think wouldnt mind a little scallop scent. But she did. And as a result everyone started calling her scallop fingers behind her back. And every time she is on camera, they put scallop fingers under it like its her job or something and they started calling her scallop fingers to her face and now im explaining this nonsense on television. While she didnt end up with mr. Scallop fingers, she didnt seem to be bothered by it. Im very relieved. I would have been wigging out if i left here as a couple. Thank you, its a no. Scallop fingers out. I think for scallops this just wasnt her habitat and shes home now and free. [ laughter ] jimmy its like the weather channel. [ cheers and applause ] so another season of b. I. P. Comes to a close. While it may be over for the contestants, the friendships they made and stds they contract will last a lifetime. All right. Now we turn our attention to a new generation. Its been an amazing journey so far. Tonight all looking ends get tied up. Its the romantic conclusion to baby bachelor in paradise. Previously on the most shocking season of any show in the history of television. Some of the kids found love and some hey ladies who wants a date. Jimmy found themselves alone and weird. Dylan tried his best to woo the girls. Any of you want to no, thanks. No, im good. Ill pass. Youre too old. Youre missing out. Jimmy i sat down for a oneonone with the most rejected contestant in baby bachelor history. Can i ask you a personal question . Yes. Jimmy how long have you had that mustache . Well, my moustache just grew and then it got bigger and bigger, then i just got some beard in my head. Jimmy do you shave every day . Yeah. Jimmy do you shave just your face or your chest and legs too . I shave my whole body. Jimmy your whole body every day. Does that take a lot of time . It takes a thousand times. Jimmy it does take 1,000 times. And why do you shave your whole body . Because i shave my face and shoe and my eyes. Jimmy dylan, i can see your mustache is starting to come off. So im going to let you enjoy the house with the other kids. Okay, great idea. More of the girls are wearing mustaches, right . Jimmy four of the girls are wearing moustaches . Yeah, and my mom. Jimmy your mom has a mustache . Yeah, a bombshell. She has a bombshell moustache. Jimmy shell be delighted to hear that. Yeah, shell be super delighted. Jimmy as the sun set over paradise it was time to force these children to get engaged. Kennedy and aidan hit it off from the start and no amount of chad or ethan could come between their love. Will you be my bride . Its a ring. I got one too. Pretty. Jimmy for them, the decision was delicious. Can you believe these two . Yeah . How old are you anyways . You got a full mustache. Im five inches. Five inches . I mean zero inches. Zero inches old . Uhhuh. Yeah. Well, you got a cool moustache, though. Jimmy bella had a hard time making a connection but sometimes love is right behind you holding a boom mike. Michael the sound guy was bad at his job but great with the ladies and he wasnt afraid to fight for what he wanted. Mine i wanted to give you this. Okay. I guy. Jimmy for other babies it was more complicated. I feel a lot of pressure to marry mason. Marry. Here, i get to see her. He better give me that ring. I cant do it. Give me that ring jimmy would brandon give in to macys ultimatum or walk away with his dignity . Give me that ring. Ill get furious ill give you the box. [ laughter ] this is the best box i ever got. Jimmy and then there was charlie. After her recent split with commitmentphobe brendan, would she take the plunge with clyde . This is for you. I love you. I love you too. Im getting married. Jimmy bad boy alex made it clear hed stop at nothing to win cosettes heart including attempting to murder dominic. But what the producers want is the only thing that matters. So they got engaged. I want you to have this. I so happy. [ applause ] its heavy. There you go. Jimmy with love in the air, so ends the most dramatic, shocking, unbelievable and to reiterate, dramatic and shocking first and final season of baby bachelor in paradise ever before. [ cheers and applause ] coming up next stay tuned for the series premier of baby wipeout. Jimmy oh, that looks good. We have a good show tonight. Dave salmoni and his wild animal friends are here. And well be right back with larry david. [ mo more, more, more ny ] how do you like it how do you like it more, more, more how do you like it how do you like it how do you like it more, more, more thisll be the real deal oh yeah thisll be the real deal oh yeah oh yeah steal the spotlight in the new stevie. Right now, get up to 50 off all pants and jeans at old navy. Because everyone likes easy. Sure do. Because everyone is on the go. Because we all like to save energy, but sometimes we slip up. Reaching up. Ssssh because sometimes we want it cool at night, then toasty in the mornings. Introducing the easy to use, energy saving, adjustable from everywhere, easy on the wallet and the eyes, nest thermostat e. E is for everyone. At Stanford Health care, we can now repair complex aortic aneurysms without invasive surgery. If we can do that, imagine what we can do for varicose veins. And if we can precisely treat eye cancer with minimal damage to the rest of the eye, imagine what we can do for glaucoma, even cataracts. If we can use dna to diagnose the rarest of diseases, imagine what we can do for the conditions that affect us all. Imagine what we can do for you. Jimmy welcome back to the show. Tonight, one of the great animal handlers in all of the world. If you are an animal, his are the hands you want. From animal planet, dave salmoni is here. Dave brought a Mountain Lion cub, hedgehogs, a bald eagle, and a very poisonous viper. But dont worry, dave tweeted this, he wrote, learning to handle venomous snakes today. That was yesterday. So he has at least 24 hours experience with them. Tomorrow night Michael Keaton will be here. From cnn van jones will be here. Well have music from the lone bellow. And the then later this week music from 21 savage and dustin lynch. The host of the emmys, stephen colbert, will be here. New american u. S. Open champ Sloan Stevens will join us, nina dobrev will be here. And on wednesday, former white house stress Secretary Sean Spicer will be here in this chair and question ive been thinking about it. Question number one did donald trump ever kick or bite you . [ laughter ] and then well go from there. For six long years weve been forced to rely on real life to provide us with uncomfortable experiences. But on october 1st we turn to television again as curb your enthusiasm returns to hbo, please welcome larry david. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] stop it does this bother you at all . Is this okay . Jimmy yeah, it does bother me. I dont like to get too close to people. You know, i keep a distance. Jimmy i see that. Its okay. We can do it like this. Ill come over. Jimmy come over. [ cheers and applause ] i think last time you were here you sat in the right chair. I dont know what the problem thank you for coming back. Ill tell you what the problem is. You want to know what the problem is . Last time jimmy yeah. You came into the dressing room and said hello, like a person. Jimmy right. Okay . What . Did the oscar stuff, its all in your head now, huh . Jimmy can i be honest with you . I wish you would. Jimmy first of all, i think they said something last time, larrys not sure he wants to be here, maybe you should say hello to him beforehand. Larry wasnt sure this time either. [ laughter ] jimmy and