Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240714 : vimarsana.c

KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live July 14, 2024

Jasmine take a magic uber ride. Hey, speaking of magic rides, the Golden State Warriors last night completed the sweep of the trail blazers. This will be their fifth year in a row in the nba finals. I guess their strategy of signing all the best players to be on one team is working pretty well. And while that warriors run is impressive, its far from the record. The celtics of boston went ten straight times from 1957 to 1966. But that was when there were no other teams in the nba, it was just them. The warriors are going for a threepeat this year, which would be historic. If they win, it would be the First Championship Team in professional sports to not visit the white house in three consecutive years. [ applause ] things are getting nutty at the white house again. Congress may finally get a look at the president s finances, even though he really doesnt want that to happen. A federal judge ordered an Accounting Firm to turn over the records. Id hate to be the mozzarella stick trump was gnawing on when he got that news. These records are from before he was president. The white house tried to block the subpoena, but the judge on the case wrote, it is simply not fathomable that a constitution that grants congress the power to remove a president for reasons including criminal behavior would deny congress the power to investigate him for unlawful conduct, past or present, which makes perfect sense to everyone but donald trump. He said the ruling is crazy. And he knows crazy, believe me. Hes now appealing the decision. And this is the best. The judge who may preside over that appeal is none other than merrick garland, the guy Whose Supreme Court seat got squatted by republicans in congress. So now he may get to decide whether congress get the trumps financial information. How great is that . [ applause ] keep your fingers crossed. Thats like if donald and melania renewed their vows and the minister was stormy daniels. Democrats are insisting this request for documents is a normal part of oversight. They say they need them so they can find out whether trump inflated his assets, which, gee, i wonder what the answer to that is . Its like trying to find out if good year inflates the blimp. Meanwhile, trump has a new plan to collect money to build the wall. Its to collect change people leave behind at the airport. For real, not a joke. The department of Homeland Security wants to pay for it partly with coins passengers leave at security checkpoints. They have 3 million of these coins. Were now at the looking for money in the couch portion of this plan. Were going to build a wall with a [ applause ] big jar of forgotten nickels. This is not a plan to strengthen border security. This is how a 9yearold saves up to buy a skateboard. He had another pep himself up rally where he took jabs at joe biden, fox news and even the lighting on stage. You know, i thought that was the sun in my eyes. Its these stupid lights, these people. What are they doing . Is there any way they can turn those lights down, folks . Crazy. Youve got a thing called the sun. We like the sun better than the artificial not sun. Jimmy this, by the way is coming from a man who sleeps in a tanning bed. So they held the event in an ntv at least five people fainted in the crowd which got the president heated up about the light all over again. Are those lights bright enough . I think thats why people are going down. These crazy lights. And they look like they cost a fortune, too. I dont know, i dont know who got those lights, but theyre very bright. Jimmy yes, hes right. The lights are very bright. Maybe they should be president for a little while. Its worth a shot. [ applause ] so anyway, while the president is yelling at lights, his former white House Counsel and star of the mueller report, mcgahn skipped out on his scheduled testimony before the House Judiciary Committee today. He ignored the subpoena, which could mean democrats may send a very stern letter to him. I just hope it doesnt come to that. Even though don mcgahn wasnt in congress, you know who was . Dr. Ben carson, our sleepyhead of hud testified for three hours where he ran into a bit of trouble understanding the common real estate term. As you look it up, id also like you to get back to me if you dont mind, to explain the disparity in reo rates. Do you know what an reo is . An oreo . An reo. Real estate. Whats the e stand for. Owned, when a property goes to foreclosure, we call it an reo. Jimmy she lost him as soon as he started thinking about cookies. State of alabamas having a hell of a week. Alabama Public Television refused to air an episode of the pbs show arthur, because in the episode, theres a samesex wedding involving arthurs teacher and his fiance patrick. So theres ratburn and patrick, no word on whether they banned it because the couple is gay or because one is a rat and the other is an aardvark. This is not the first time alabama Public Television has pulled an episode off the air. In another episode arthur meets a kid who has two mothers. And they did not air that episode. Who knew arthur was stirring things up on behalf of the gay community. Good for him or it whatever it is. To me, the most shocking part of it is that theres a pbs affiliate in alabama. Today was a, i dont mean to bring everyone down. But today was a very sad day for those of us who love fashion as dress barn, the chain of Womens Clothing stores have announced theyre going out of business. So call your aunt carol and just see how shes, dress barn had more than 600 locations, all of them will close. What is this world coming to . Its almost as if people dont want to get th maybe they should change the name to something more appealing than dress barn. For instance pant suit pigpen. Not only is dress barn gone, so is game of thrones. I dont know how im going to replace it on sundays. I dont see myself inviting friends over to watch chernobyl. There are a number of game of thrones spinoff shows. One of the characters from game of thrones has found new work on a morning talk show. Its americas new favorite talk show. Kathie lee and hodor. Youll flip for daytimes hottest new duo. Were like an old married couple already. Tvs zaniest, drunkiest team has finally landed. Describe yourself in one word. Hodor. And its a hell of a hoot. Hodor. Wineter is coming. Weekdays at is 1 00, only on natgot. Jimmy we didnt have time to get to this, but senator ted cruz has an eye on space. He took to the floor last week to warn us about the dangers of space pirates. Just when you think ted cruz cant get any weirder. He goes and becomes a scientologist on us. But he made the case to defend the cost of the space force which will reportedly cost 13 billion. But ted cruz says we need the space force to battle space pirates. Did you know there was a movie called space force . Did not cost 13 billion. It was a tv movie in the 70s. Here it is. We keep the galaxy from getting worse always guiding us were the space force an ace force jimmy and so that was the original space force. Of course that can never be topped. You cant but nowadays were rebooting and remaking things all the time. Weve got aladdin with will smith. So we contacted one of the original stars of that show. And we made it all over gone. And with the threat of space pirates imminent, i am pleased to present the World Premiere trailer for space force the movie. Its the future, 2019, and somewhere deep in the milky way, our Intrepid Team of cosmic heroes patrols the galaxy for threats to america. Steady as she goes, space force. Captain, were receiving an urgent message from grand admiral cruz. Very well, put him through. Pirates threaten the open seas, and the same is possible in space. Grand admiral cruz, in all due respect, that sounds a bit ridiculous. What in gods gravy was that . Captain, its the pirates. Those arent just any pirates. Those are space pirates. Space force two attack of the space pirates. Why are they attacking, captain . Theyre after our trove of moon de blooms. Look at them scurry. Ahoy lunar lovers, we be space pirates. Hand us over your moon de blooms. Admiral cruz warned us about you. With action adventure and romance wait a second. What exactly are you . News day says this film is a treasure that should have stayed buried. Buzz aldrin calls it offputting. And senator ted cruz says it would appear youve taken my words out of context. Starring fred willard, neil armsgone. And daniel daylewis. In space, no one can hear you shiver your timbers. See you in space hell, you scurvy mother [ bleep ]. Jimmy wow, first avengers and now this. Jimmy tonight on the show music from jakob dylan with jade castrinos. Elizabeth banks. And well be right back with will smith. [cheers and applause] Abcs Jimmy Kimmel live, brought to you by clif bar. Like a good, clean planet. Thats better then a broken dirty one. With good, happy, non disgruntled people. And good nutritious food. All preferable to the not so good alternatives. So, if you agree with this rogue radical thinking, give us a try. Were called clif bar. And our logo looks like this. Do you battery sound. Want a charge . Yeah battery charging. Thank you so much. Battery charging. To pair with a sandwich. The allnew frenchie, allnatural salami and capicola, handsliced provolone and salted butter on a baguette. That is really good. The frenchie available for a limited time at jimmy johns. Oh, sorry. The frenchie available for a limited time at jimmy johns. 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Abreva starts to work immediately to block the virus and protect healthy cells. Abreva acts on it. So you can too. Jimmy tonight from the scary new movie brightburn, Elizabeth Banks is here. Then with their music from the soundtrack to their documentary, echo in the canyon, jakob dylan and jade castrinos from the mercedesbenz stage. Tomorrow night i will not be here. But we will have a new show with guest host lena waithe. You guys wouldnt be here tomorrow either. Ella bleu travolta, lala milan, and music from chika. The reason i will not be here is because tomorrow night in primetime i am teaming up with the legend norman lear. We are bringing back all in the family and the the jeffersons for one night only. Woody harrelson and marisa tomei will play archie and edith bunker. Jamie foxx and wanda sykes will play george and louise jefferson. Every member of our cast is a killer. Will ferrell, kerry washington, anthony anderson, ike barinholtz, ellie kemper, jackee harry, stephen tobolowsky, sean hayes, Amber Stevens west jovan adepo. And a couple of surprises too. The shows will be performed live in front of a studio audience tomorrow night at 8 p. M. Here on abc. So gather the family to show them how it used to be done in the olden times. Thats right. Our first guest is one of the most popular movie and music stars ever. Starting friday, he fills some large, pointy shoes in the new liveaction version of aladdin. Please say hello to will smith [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] jimmy you know, you cant be too careful. Its cold and flu season. How you doin . Whats up, man . Jimmy you know, i watched aladdin, with my two kids. My 4yearold wont watch anything that isnt a cartoon. They loved it and we loved it. My wife said were going to go see it again in the movie theaters. Youll pay for it. Jimmy thats right. That time ill pay for it. Well all pay for it, in a way. You know, its really great, man. When i was, i was terrified getting that first call, you know, because as a performer, you want to go, and you want to do things. I just heard, were you talking about all in the family. Jimmy yeah. Its like, when you go into something that somebody has already given an iconic performance, it can be scary, you know, so i was thinking about that with the robin williams. Jimmy yeah, theres no topping robin williams. He didnt leave a lot of room to like take it up a notch. But jimmy you did a great job. You really did. And people will see that. Thank you. [cheers and applause] jimmy do you also worry about like how its going to look . Because this is not something you have any control over, but it looks so great. Its so magical. You know, i was, its my first time being blue. Ive never been blue. Jimmy mmhm. Blue becomes me. I enjoyed being blue, but its so interesting that i dont think people realize when im blue genie, theres no part of that character that is actually me. Its a 100 cgi character. Jimmy oh. Its totally created. Jimmy i thought it was your head. No, its not my head. Jimmy so you didnt do anything for this movie. Do you care . Ah, thats good, that looks good. Hey, make my cheeks a little more blue. You know. Jimmy i dont want to give anything away, but eventually, you become more you. I become more me. But it was such a beautiful experience, singin, dancin, rappin, action and romance and drama and comedy. Jimmy its like you were born to play this particular genie, it really is. I know. 30 years of things that ive cultivated as a performer. Jimmy yeah. And all of them got used in this movie. If thered been a boxing scene, it would have been everything ive ever done. Jimmy maybe in the sequel youll hit somebody. Youve been all over the world promoting this movie. Yes, yes. Jimmy youve been to europe, youve been everywhere. We went new york, london, paris, berlin. Amman, jordan. Jimmy its one of your songs now. Yeah. [ applause ] jimmy and jordan is where you shot some of the movie. We shot, yeah, in jordan. Jimmy they shoot a lot of movies in jordan now, right . Its one of the places in the region that we call film friendly. Jimmy they dont hate us . No. Well, new york isnt always film friendly. But its like, its wide open. And they, you know, the royal family really opens it up for you to, you know, to be able to use the iconic sites and things like that. And we were out in the middle of the desert in a place called wadi rum that is arguably one of the most beautiful places on earth, man. Jimmy how does that work with the royal family . When you come, are you then required to, is it expected that you will go to them and hang with them . Its a royal family, you know, so theres all the rules. So we had to, you know. Jimmy oh, you did have to do all the rules . Theres like an hour prep where they explain all the rules of how to deal with the royal family. So were there, they sit all our people down. Teach us all the protocols. Okay. Dont joke, dont do, you know, you get, because you dont want to be the [ bleep ] to disrespect the royal family. Jimmy youre not me. Hey, im the fresh prince. Im out touching strangers. Yeah. Its weird. So we take our protocol, im waiting in the lobby. I have to stand by myself and all of that. And range rover pulls up. And his highness is sitting in the drivers seat. He goes, will, buddy, come on, lets go jimmy thats the guy . So i hop in the passenger seat and me and him just drive off. Jimmy what . And hes like, ah, man, im glad those guys are gone. Jimmy really . Wow. A very casual prince. Thats, that seems fun. Did your family go over there with you . Not on this trip, but we went previously. Jimmy i got you. Do they like going with you on these movie shoots . My family used to, my kids used to go everywhere. Jimmy when they had no choice. Right. Yeah, before those teenager years. Willow was the first one that defied me. You know. And then once willow, once willow was like, dad, i dont want to go. Jimmy she broke the dam. She broke it. And then the boys are like, you can defy him you know. Jimmy willow and jada are hosting a television or a facebook show together. Yes, yes. Jimmy in which they discuss, they watch this . No, i dont watch it. Jimmy dont watch it. No. Theyre tellin all our business. Jimmy they are. Its called red table talk. And its really fantastic. Jimmy do they run this stuff by you . No, no jimmy i didnt think so. Its, you know, jada and my daughter and jadas mother, so its the three generations. Its called red table talk on facebook. Its actually fantastic, the episodes i could bear. And they sit down, and its really wide open, raw conversation across the generations. Jimmy very raw. About a cornucopia of topics. Jimmy yeah, right. Even a pornocopia of topics. Yeah, porn addiction was the topic. Jimmy there was one of those. They all go into a blur, you know. Jimmy who is it most upsetting to hear talk about that . Your daughter . Your wife . Or your motherinlaw . [ applause ] thats strikes one, two, and three. Yeah. Its all bad. Jimmy now why are you trying to kill yourself on facebook, whats going on with you . No, now, you misinterpreted my behaviors. Jimmy please explain. So i turned 50 last year. [cheers and applause] jimmy and that was enough . You know, 50 years is enough. No, but i turned 50, and i realized that through my, you know, my rise as a movie star, i sort of narrowed the things that i would allow myself to do. Jimmy mmhm. And it was interesting. I was talking about the genie on aladdin and what i could relate to, and the genie wears shackles. Right, so the genie is essentially a slave to his, his jimmy powers. His powers, right . So thats kind of what i could relate to. Will smith became so popular as a movie star, and there were only certain behaviors that were acceptable from will smith. Jimmy right. So i sort of set myself free and allowed myself to be able to do all the things that i want to do. And for my 50th birthday, i decided im not going to be trapped by the persona that ive created anymore. Jimmy which is great, except for like you and your family are like jumping out of a plane, you know. Yeah, yeah. So, all right, so this is a new exploration for me, jimmy. Jimmy you should stay in the plane. So theres going to be missteps. You know. So i took the whole family, and, again, willow was the one. Shes like, nah, thats stupid. Im not going, dad. So willow didnt go. So i took my wife and my motherinlaw and my fatherinlaw and my sons. And we went to dubai. And we went skydiving, right . So my fatherinlaw, he was, he was last out of the plane. And he comes down, and

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