Congratulations to him. What a weekend. People were dancing in the streets like ewoks after they blew up the death star. Darth tax evader has been toppled. And america responded with a dance party. Young man, theres no need to feel down i said young man, pick yourself off the ground i said young man, because youre in a new town theres no need to be unhappy, its fun to stay at the ymca its fun to stay at the ymca, they have everything for young men to enjoy, you can hang out with all the boys its fun to stay at the ymca jimmy thats right, you think she has any idea what the ymca is . Only 71 more days, melania, then this scene outside the white house on saturday, where a reporter from fox news got a fresh whiff of victory. Reporter we havent seen the violence or anger we saw in june on black lives matter plaza, might have something to do with the fact theres pungent smell of marijuana here. Jimmy thats right, weed can overcome. There were celebrations all across the country which is unusual. This doesnt typically happen after an election, but this one was different. Having a competent administration wont make the coronavirus better in many, many communities, youll have better unity in terms of messaging jimmy go back, look right there, senator john mccain, returned from the great beyond to celebrate isnt that something . Fantastic. Jimmy donald trump is not accepting the results of the election. But joe biden is getting congratulatory calls from former president s, world leaders, and even his own vp, kamala harris, who we slowed down to half speed for the first of who knows . What could be many editions of drunk kamala harris. We did it we did it, joe youre going to be the next president of the united states. Jimmy trump may be going, but we still have a show to do. Joe biden may be the oldest president ever elected, but hes also the president with the youngest teeth. On saturday, the president elect reached out to those who didnt vote for him. He said its time to stop the harsh rhetoric. To lower the temperature. To see each other again. To listen to each other again. He said we must stop treating each other like enemies. We are not enemies. We are americans. Which is a nice sentiment. And refreshing to hear. But im not sure joe understands what hes up against. The likes of slimy yellevangelist, kenneth copeland, who gave a sermon yesterday that would make jesus barf up a loaf and a fish. The media said what . Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, the media said joe bidens president ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha woo ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Jimmy well if they dont have covid now, i guess theres no way to get it. That doesnt seem completely demonic at all the preacher with three private jets . Laughing in tongues . Meanwhile, our out of touch with realityhost is not letting go. He is both melting and doubling down on his claim that the election was stolen from him. On saturday morning, the prisonerelect wrote, i won this election by a lot. Which was funny. And then, about an hour later, all the Major News Networks called the election for biden. Trump was not watching tv for a change. When it happened, he was out playing golf. There he is, unhappy gilmore. Making the deepest divots of his life. Team trump is not cooperating with the biden team. Not only is the administration holding up the transition, they are getting all the sycophants on board to question the integrity of the election. Of course, they arent questioning the results of the races in the house and senate. I wonder why that is . Why would the democrats have cheated and stolen the presidency, but given up the senate and house seats on the same illegal ballots . Is it like when you cheat on a test, but purposely get a few wrong just to throw the teacher off the scent . Are we supposed to believe theres a universe where nancy pelosi could have sent Mitch Mcconnell back to the exotic pet store he came from, and she chose not to . Some Trump Supporters took to twitter to say things like, if you dont include california, donald trump won the popular vote. Right. And if you dont count the murders, ted bundy was a pretty good guy. One advisor for the Trump Campaign said the word concede is not in their vocabulary. Along with a lot of words. And listen, i get that this is hard for donald trump. Processing this loss is going to take time. I mean, this is the first time hes ever failed at anything besides trump casinos, his airlines, mortgage, trump steaks, trump university, trump magazine, and donald jr. Eric, et cetera. They keep saying give him time. And we will give him time. He has until january 19th. Then hes out. Times up. On the 20th. If trump really does refuse to leave the white house, they should just rename it vietnam. Hell get out of it immediately. Hes not going to win this, even he knows that, but he also cannot admit he lost, because hes a poorlyraised little monster who was born a millionaire. Every other losing candidate for president found it within themselves to concede, and to remind our dear leader of that, we combed through concession speeches of the past, from which, perhaps he will find some inspiration. Please dont hang his portrait our entire administration will work closely with his team to ensure the smooth transition of power. The president is my opponent, not my enemy, i wish him well and pledge my support. What remains of partisan rhetoric must be put aside, god bless his stewardship of this country. I pledge to do my part to bridge the partisan divide. Whether they supported me or president obama, i wish god speed to former opponent who will be my president. Nation chose another leader so we join with us to pray for him and this great nation. We must accept this result and then look to the future. Donald trump is going to be our president , we owe him an open mind and the chance to lead. If you count the legal votes, i easily win. If you count the illegal votes, they can try to steal the election from us, if you count the votes that came in late. Were looking at them very strongly. Jimmy please dont hang his portrait in the white house. Just smash a mango on the wall instead. Put his name under it. So far trumplands bigly idea for how to prove there was voter fraud is to set up a hotline. Where you could call in and report shenanigans. Sadly, that hotline was immediately flooded with prank calls. Which is a shame. And no one was more outraged than the president s fourth favorite son, eric. Who tweeted, the dnc is spamming our voter fraud hotline to bog down thousands of complaints we are receiving wonder what they have to hide . Good question, eric. This is the hotline number. 888 5033526. And folks, please, for the love of eric, do not call this number and claim to have discovered a shoebox full of mailin ballots with the name bob abooey on them. Again, the number not to call is, 888 5033526. Keep it and especially dont share it with people on tiktok, because, what . Oh no. Too late. How can i help you . Do you know whats going on . Whats going on sir . Whats going on what was the voter fraud you witnessed . People literally spreading poop all over their ballots. We feel. Downtrod, downtrod so fast. I was in line and there was this guy there, i dont know this is considered fraud or anything, but he was challenging to a fiddle competition. Trump 2028, make America Great again again again. That is against the law of our country. Youre one of those liberals, aint you . Absolutely not. Let me talk to your manager. Trump national warroom. Jimmy tok them up this was not a prank. Or maybe it was. I think it may have been. Did you hear about that little four seasons mixup . This is good, so on saturday, the president tweeted, Lawyers Press conference at four seasons, philadelphia. 11 00 a. M. Then ten minutes later, he replaced that tweet with this one, Big Press Conference today in philadelphia at four seasons total landscaping 11 30am four seasons total landscaping is a Landscaping Company in philadelphia. They do yards and for reasons that are still unknown, they had Rudy Giuliani making a speech from there. And this visual should tell you all you need to know about how its going, okay . A big ugly garage door. Cement wall. A garden hose. An Adult Novelty shop right next door. With booths and everything. This is Rudy Giuliani at his rudiest. The former mayor made a grand entrance at the landscaping place, he had some words to say, and after he said them, he made a swift exit. This is the secondmost embarrassing thing to happen to rudy this month. He somehow managed to outborat himself. I know this city has a sad history of voter fraud. After all, joe frazier is still voting here. Kind of hard since he died five years ago, but joe continues to vote. If i recall correctly, joe was a republican, so maybe i shouldnt complain. But we should see if joe is voting democrat or republican now from the grave. Also will smiths father has voted here twice since he died. Jimmy go lay down in your coffin and close the lid, recount dracula. So there you go. Trumps run for president began on a golden escalator and ended in an alley, next to a dildo store. Say what you want about them, they know how to bookend a story. The even bigger news, pfizer today announced they have been working on a vaccine that is more than 90 effective in preventing the coronavirus. Thats right, the makers of viagra figured out how to give everyone a boner again. Thanks. The ceo of pfizer said the timing of the announcement coming after the election had nothing to do with politics. But they did name the vaccine joebidenol. They are hoping to have 1520 million doses of the vaccine available and approved by the end of the year. That is great news. I never thought id be rooting for a big pharmaceutical company. But i also never thought id be rubbing purell on my vegetables. Theyd better get a batch of those vaccines to the white house. Because there is a new, new outbreak in the west wing. At least five more staffers have tested positive, including trumps chief of staff, mark meadows, who was seen maskless with djtj at trumps postelection Party Tuesday night. And you know who else tested positive . Our favorite, dr. Ben carson. Was at the white house that night and now has the virus. He, by the way, is on the Coronavirus Task force. He does usually wear a mask. I the problem is its this one. Carsons spokesperson said ben is in good spirits and feels fortunate to have access to effective therapeutics. Im glad he does. Donald trump has two black friends, he gave them both covid. It makes sense that no one in the white house wears a mask, i would want to die if i worked there too. Joe biden today unveiled his new Coronavirus Task force. He is planning to spend his first days in office issuing executive orders to try to undo some of the damage. Basically, biden is going to fly around the earth counterclockwise like superman, and reverse everything trump did. There is a lot to untangle. And we still have more than two months to go. There have been so many moments over the last four years, its hard to remember even a tenth of it. So much incompetence, so many lies, one day there will be a tenpart miniseries about it on hbo, but in the meantime, there is a way to immortalize the many mistruths and mishaps while also filling your china cabinet with a historic heirloom that can be handed down from generation to generation. This is an important announcement, President Trump has topped more than 20,000 lies in office. Frankly, we did win this election. Now celebrate his historic achievement, with the trump lies commemorative plate collection. Elegant plates inscribed with the most memorable falsehoods. Constructed in china but marked made in the usa. Receive a prevarication every day every month for rest of your time on earth. So many lies, so many plates and youll have to make room for all of them. Boxes and boxes full of precious lies stacked up high. Satisfaction guaranteed. Cancel any time but well keep stuffing your house with lying plates until we have every nickel, and your home. Holy [ bleep ] thats a lot of plates. The donald trump commemorative plate collection, make america plate again. Look at all these [ bleep ] plates. No habla espanol. Jimmy we have a good show for you tonight. Luke combs is with us, weve got music from Nathaniel Rateliff, and well be right back with taraji p. Henson. Never run dry of killer attitude. Good moves. Or hydration. Neutrogena® hydro boost. The number 1 hyaluronic acid moisturizer instantly delivers 2 times the hydration. And keeps hydrating all day long. Pair times the hydrating power. Neutrogena® chef claes insists on fresh pairneclean ingredients. Power. The richest cheeses and a mouthwatering sauce. So when chef claes makes a pizza, he doesnt just make a pizza. He makes a masterpiece. Taste our delicious new flatbread pizzas today. Panera. Turning black friday into deals for days. Starting wednesday 11 11 score deals like 149 Lenovo Ideapad 3 and get them at our new deals pickup. Lets end the year saving bigger. vo command hooks are easy to apply and remove cleanly. Lets end the year saving bigger. Command. Do. No harm. Hello hello there he go, my baby never answers in the room steps outside, or puts it on snooze he just do whatever he do ou ee ou ou ee ou hello hello hello hello hello hello jimmy welcome back. Tonight, Country Music superstar luke combs will join us. Then, after luke, his album is called and its still all right music from Nathaniel Rateliff. Terrific. Weve got new shows this week with gillian anderson, dr. Phil, john king from cnn, emmanuel acho, ellen pompeo, and music from ty dolla sign, maren morris, and chris stapleton. Please join us for all of that. Now that the president ial race is mostly decided, we turn our attention to other competitions of note. On november 22nd, our first guest will host the American Music awards here on abc. Please welcome taraji p. Henson. [ cheers and applause ] in the house jimmy how are you . Welcome. I like your hair. Your hair looks great. Thank you. Jimmy is that permanent . Its a wig, tradeoff, you like it . Jimmy i do. You want to be peg bundy next halloween . Jimmy it is peg bundy, isnt it . Welcome, its good to have you here. Hap happy belated birthday, you turned 50 over the summer, i couldnt believe it. I think the nurse was drunk. Jimmy put the wrong year. I know, whatever youre very youthful. When you were 12 did people think you were 4 . Thats funny, but i was 26 playing 16 here in hollywood. I was a fully grown woman and they were children. Jimmy the other actors . Thats funny. And i was the we would have a break in between scenes, looking around, run out to my trailer get my cigarettes and be smoking like, taraji, were ready, get away from me kid, ill be in there in a minute. Jimmy that is funny. Youre hosting the American Music awards. Thats a big deal. Are you looking forward to it . I am so excited. I mean its bitter sweet because im a theater actress, trained in theater, love a live audience. But you know, obviously because of covid, that bitch. Jimmy right. No one can go outside and play. Were all punished. Jimmy had you agreed to host it before covid hit . Actually no, happened after. Jimmy you knew what you were getting into. I knew what i was getting into. At this point ill do anything to get out of the house. Jimmy will the bands be with us playing . Yes. Jimmy no audience right . No audience. Jimmy like a concert for you. Basically. Jimmy thats great in some ways. Who is on the bill . You know, they didnt send me everything yet, but not jimmy that might be hamburger. The asian group. Jimmy bts. Theyre great. Jimmy have enthusiastic fans, they will be mad youre only one there and you called them b2k. Eat your heart out. Well be besties before this is over. Jimmy who was your bts as teenager . New edition. Jimmy me too. Did it for me. Jimmy i wont get into it but i invented a dance still done at family weddings to their song. You have to show it, wheres the deejay . Jimmy a little bit of it, cool it now, starts like this, literal interpretation of the song. Looks pretty easy. Jimmy alltime favorite . Yeah, then boyz ii men came. They were older. Bo boyz ii men and then becoming a young lady, falling in love and dating, so we needed more mature music. I still made horrible choices. Jimmy youre a prince nut, too, right . You talked about meeting him. Listen to me, when i was a teenager, we had i was president of the prince fan club. Jimmy for real, a real thing . It was our real thing. Jimmy name . Lavender lovers, loved everything purple. We had sweatshirts and i just got rid of my boombox that i had lavender lover spray painted like graffiti on the side. Jimmy what did you do with it . I dont know. Jimmy you threw your childhood in the garbage . Dont make me feel like yeah, i did. Jimmy something else. Did you see him live . I did see prince live. Mom and dad both signed off on me playing hooky, me and my best friend, her parents to, standing in line all day and played hooky, got prince tickets. Jimmy how long was the line . Wrapped around the building. It was at the Basketball Team plays in d. C. , been so long, they changed it now. Jimmy where the wizards play, you were standing in line there. Wrapped around the building, stadium, blocks long, and kept selling out. We were crying, but he added another show, emotional roller coaster. Finally got up to the front, he added a show, yay he must have added like four shows while we were standing there. Jimmy and canceled three of them later. No, he didnt. Prince in the younger days. I didnt say that. Jimmy were sorry, prince. Were going to take a break and then do Something Interesting if you dont mind. We collected text message exchanges from members of the staff, with family and friends. Thought might be fun to dramatize them. When we come back. Taraji p. Henson is with us, hosting the American Music awards. Well be right back. Dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live brought to you by whwith a serious illness, everything changes. And if you have to travel for care, like sam did . Home can change, too. But, along with your donations, mcdonalds has helped Ronald McdonaldHouse Charities keep familie