He didnt take questions from the reporters. But he did do his ceremonial duty in the rose garden, thats right, for the annual pardon of the white house turkey. I hereby grant you a full and complete pardon. Wow all the networks we have to forget about the law judges dont count [ laughter and applause ] jimmy enjoy your nightmares. Its the first turkey balesed with grecian formula. [ laughter ] trump did things a little differently this year. Instead of the usual pardon, they did a prisoner exchange. We pardoned two of theirs, they sent us two of ours. Smart. Why let the turkeys go for nothing . Just so the Vice President didnt feel left out this morning they let mike pence pardon a bowl of stuffing. [ laughter ] the president and first lady canceled their trip to maralago this week. Theyre planning to spend thanksgiving at the white house. What is that dinner going to be like . When they go around the table and ask what youre thankful for, everyone has to say him, right . Its more of a thankstaking at the trump house. Yesterday the gsa paved the way for what has been the most highly anticipated transition since caitlyn jenner, i guess. [ laughter ] team biden is now officially in contact with members of the outgoing administration. But trump still refuses to identify himself at outgoing. He has not conceded. This is day 21 of squattergate. [ laughter ] and he is ready to eat his own. He is not happy with fox news or some of his fellow republicans. This morning he expressed that displeasure by retweeting actor randy quaid. He wrote, are you listening, republicans . He retweeted randy quaid five times including this video attack on fox news. Fox news daytime ratings have completely collapsed. Weekend daytime even worse. Very sad to watch this happen. Tsktsk. Jimmy look out, kids, santas been eating bath salts. [ laughter ] jimmy randy quaid. Lets just say he makes gary busey look like dr. Fauci, randy quaid. [ laughter ] for those who remember randy quaid as cousin eddie from the vacation movies, he has a long list of accomplishments outside acting. Hes been arrested a few times. He tried to get asylum in canada. He believes theres a group called the Hollywood Star whackers that is plotting to kill him. And our president retweeted that person five times today. [ laughter ] this is interesting. 54 of republicans say theyd vote for trump if he ran again in 2024. Which sounds like a lot until you consider the fact that three weeks ago, 94 of republicans voted for him. In three weeks he lost 40 . They know hes not the only choice, right . There are other reality show stars. Whats wrong with president dog the Bounty Hunter for a while . [ laughter ] voting for trump in 2024 would require him to leave, and he still hasnt conceded. You know, talking to some of my theater friends today. We were talking about how much this reminds us of the act i finale of dreamgirls. Guillermo yeah. Jimmy remember . Guillermo roe oh, yes. Jimmy what happens . Guillermo oh, my god, it was a great show. Oh my god, yeah. Jimmy right. Guillermo yeah. Jimmy anyway. [ laughter ] guillermo yeah, keep going. Jimmy we took the music from dreamgirls and we matched the president to it. And ill tell you what, him not going sounds a lot better when you sing it. The fox news decision desk can now project that former Vice President joe biden will become the 46th president of the united states. Donald trump, the 45th president of the united states, whether he chooses to concede, is yet to be seen. And i am telling you, im not going. Im the best. Winner of the election. That i have ever known. Theres no way i can ever go. No, no, no, no. Theres no way. No, no, no. No way. Im living without you. Im not living without you. I dont want to be free im staying. Im staying. And you, and you, and you, youre going to love meeeee tear down the mountains and shout. Say what you want but im not walking out. Stop all the rivers and kill, im not going to leave you, theres no way i will. Can you imagine if i lose . I will have lost to the worst candidate, the worst candidate in the history of president ial politics. If i lose what do i do . And i am telling you, i am not going. Im the best president that god ever created. Remember that. And you and you and you. Youre going to love me love me love me love me love me. Byebye [ cheers and applause ] jimmy give that man a skin toning. Now you see what i was talking about, right . Guillermo yeah, right. Jimmy dreamgirls. Guillermo yeah, dreamgirls, yeah. Jimmy all right. By the way, there will be no black friday this year, not in the usual sense. There will be no door buster sales or people lined up outside best buy for a 12 tv set. Most stores are observing covid protocols. If you want to get the feeling of black friday, its very simple. Just buy something online. When the amazon guy shows up, knock him down and wrestle it out of his hands. [ laughter ] im going to give all my viewers a gift right now. Guillermo, youre going to like this too. I want everyone at home to take out your phones and open the camera. Im going to ask you to take a shot of your screen. If you have a thanksgiving zoom scheduled with your family, maybe you dont want to have a thanksgiving zoom with your family. All you have to do is start a group text and send them a picture of this. Its a fake Time Warner Cable alert that says, were experiencing Internet Service issues in your area, this could take days, weeks or even months to fix, sorry for the inconvenience. Then text them, sorry, aunt sissy, well try again next year. Youre welcome. [ applause ] i feel like youre not thankful enough, but you will be. [ laughter ] we have a new episode of the bachelorette to be thankful for. Four contestants were voted out tonight. Once the results are certified, they will be sent to their homes. On last weeks episode, one of the group dates last week involved a bunch of the guys participating in something they called the grownass man challenge. Which was, a, stupid. Also an athletic, romantic, and mental challenge. The mental part of which quickly claimed a victim named bennett. How many roses does tayshia have left . The correct answer was 15. Bennett got it wrong. Spell limousine. Three, two, one oh, bennett forget the u. Wait, who went to harvard . Jimmy bennett missed a few easy questions, which is hard for someone who went to Harvard University to shake off. So we decided to give bennett a Second Chance at smart, he is with us live. Hello, bennett, how are you . Great, how are you, gym me jimmy im doing well. Have you been getting a lot of feedback from your in the quiz . Id say thats fair. Ive been hearing from people from harvard and across the board hating on it. Im here to redeem myself tonight. Jimmy did you go the harvard . Its like the one the university, right . Not the school of cosmetology or anything . Not the extension school. The one and only, in fact, yes. Jimmy what was your major at harvard . Government. Jimmy are you ready to prove to the world that you are not the weakbrained imposter many now believe you to be . Absolutely. Jimmy okay. You know, i think yeah, theres one, you know, stupid harvard guy on the jimmy kimmel show and would love to leave that matt damons role, right . Jimmy yes, very well said, see . Youre smart all right. [ applause ] i want to say bennett doesnt know the answer to these questions, its not fixed. If you know them, you know them. If you dont, you dont. I only pick questions that a bachelor should know, okay . Lets begin. You have a dry erase board . Okay great. There you go. Jimmy first up, spell chlamydia. [ laughter ] all right. Jimmy you should know this, its on the show. All right. Jimmy give it a run. Okay, here we go. Youre in your moms bedroom . I am in my moms bedroom. Jimmy okay. Very good, that is exactly right, bennett. [ applause ] exactly right. Question number two is a math problem. Listen very closely, bennett. Clare has 20 roses. If she gives threequarters of them to dale and one to Chris Harrison as a tip, how many roses does she have left . She gives 4. Jimmy thats right, bennett, thats 4 [ applause ] next, vocabulary question. Which of the following is a synonym for the word fallacious . Deceitful, awkward, sexual, impaired . Fallacious. Can you give me the four options again . Jimmy deceitful, awkward, sexual, impaired. Can you use it in a sentence . Jimmy well, that would kind of defeat the purpose. Sorry, thats an old spelling bee jimmy yeah, right, this is not spelling. Got it, okay. Deceitful say the other ones . Jimmy awkward, sexual, impaired. Im going to say deceitful. Jimmy that is right, bennett, it is deceitful. Impaired could have gone either way there. Thats sort of an ambiguous you could have taken that any direction. Im glad i got that worked out. Jimmy okay, no need to argue, you got it right. All right, here we go. Bennett, you have 15 seconds. Lets put the timer up. To unscramble this fivelearn word. Jimmy time is up. What have you got for us, bennett . Lets say shoot. Im struggling on this one. Boner . Jimmy is that right [ applause ] nailed it. Jimmy all right. Winn last bonus question. Are you ready . Awesome, lets do it. Jimmy spell tayshia. Oh, got it. Jimmy is that correct, bennett congratulations. You get to deep your diploma. Thank goodness, thank goodness. Jimmy thank you, bennett, i appreciate your doing that. I hope that gets that monkey off your back, you know . I needed that, thank you very much, i appreciate it. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you, bennett. The bachelor, tuesday nights on abc. Weve got a good show for you tonight. Josh duhamel is here. We have music from james taylor. Well be back with Kristen Stewart alright, everyone, we made it. My job is to help new homeowners who have turned into their parents. Im having a big lunch and then just a snack for dinner. So were using a speakerphone in the store. Is that a good idea . One of the ways i do that is to get them out of the home. Youre looking for a grout brush, this is garth, did he ask for your help . No, no. No. We all see it. We all see it. He has blue hair. Okay. Blue. Progressive cant protect you from becoming your parents, but we can protect your home and auto when you bundle with us. Keep it coming. You dont know him. Crunching gives me perspective. Yes whats crunching . Simply unwrap crunch and eat crunch. 100 milk chocolate and crispy rice. Anyone can do it, even anyone. Learn crunching today. Anyone can do it, even anyone. Good mormore treatment . Were going to try Something Different today. Hi awwww, so pretty. Dogs bring out the good in us. Pedigree® brings out the good in them. Did you know that 70 of the on your clothes are invisible . Try new tide pods hygienic clean heavy duty. See the difference, after being washed with tide hygienic clean. For a deep clean, try tide hygienic clean if its got to be clean, its got to be tide. Bacardi. Do what moves you. And along the way, we noticed wevsomething was missing. Asts. A warm cinnamon roll for breakfast, or with breakfast. A fluffy blueberry muffin, from the drive thru youre already driving through. A glazed apple fritter, which might find its way into your coffee. These are options every breakfasthaver should have, and now. They do. Meet the new bakery sweets at mcdonalds ba da ba ba ba sunday through friday at kohls plus, get 15 kohls cash for every 50 spent and take an extra 15 off ninja foodi grill 169. 99. Fitbit inspire 2 69. 99. And get 40 off sleepwear plus, Free Store Pick up. Kohls [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back to the show. Tonight from the new movie buddy games which is based on a competition he holds with his friends in real life, josh duhamel is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] then later, one of the alltime greats, his new one is call idea over the rainbow, the American Standard ep, music from james taylor, who is fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] 12 years ago our first guest helped spawn a frenzy for sparkly vampires and werewolves without shirts. Her new Christmas Movie has nather of those things which is perfect for this time of year, happiest season premieres on hulu tomorrow. Please welcome Kristen Stewart [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how are you . Good, really good. Jimmy thanks for coming in person and being here. Yeah. Jimmy we were lonely. I know, i feel the same way, i jumped at this. Jimmy have you been inside a lot . Yes. Jimmy yeah. Have you had enough of it . Yeah, i miss people. Jimmy yeah. Yeah, i would love to be able to say that i have this sort of like loner, sexy sort of thing going on, but actually im like desperate to be around lots more people. Wheres everyone . Jimmy yeah, i think we have another 4 1 2 months of this. What have you been doing to keep busy . Have you been i know you like to cook, right . I do. Jimmy you do, yeah. What kind of things do you cook . Its funny. Whenever anyone asks me that im always like, i mean, everything. Then it suddenly turns into, name it. I can do that, what else . I can do that. Jimmy what about so do you cook from a cook would income or make things up . I tend to be a little yeah a little bit more instinctive. Jimmy i see. Yeah. Jimmy do you like a challenge . Its 11 00, we have nothing planned to eat, im going to go in the pantry and see what i can come up with . I do. Jimmy bring out the pantry no. [ laughter ] i like that too, thats my favorite thing. Somebodys hungry, its late, you just go through the stuff and come up with something. Then if its great, you cant remember how you did it. I know. God, that happens often. If its terrible, you just go, look, its not my fault, i didnt really have anything, youre lucky that i cooked for you. Jimmy right. You are spending thanksgiving with your parents or what . Yeah, we actually already did it. Jimmy you did . Yeah. So we did a couple of days ago, we made tacos. [ laughter ] my mom doesnt like turkey. Of course. Shes, you know she goes against the grain. Shes a bit of a contrarian. Shes like, i dont like turkey. I love it, so im going to do that on a different day, so we hung out and did tacos. Jimmy has that been a thing since you were a kid, not doing turkey . Not doing turkey but not tacos. Just any hang out in the kitchen and bicker. We made something, were going to eat it. Jimmy is that why do you think thats why you cook . Is it like, oh, my mom didnt cook so my rebellion will be to go into the kitchen and make stuff . No, not so much. I guess my dad, he cooks. Mom does cook, just not turkey on that day. Jimmy i see. She makes turkey on other days. Just not on thanksgiving. Jimmy does she do that with other holidays . Like fourth of july, will she order a pizza or Something Like that . We have been known to order pizza in my house, yeah. Jimmy interesting. You brought some photographs of some of the food youve been making. And i could this is my thing. Now thats a goodlooking first, youve got a chinese plate there with dude, how sick are those plates . Jimmy theyre great plates. Love them. Jimmy is that a sauce . I it is. Jimmy is that a caccio pepe . It is. Jimmy im sicilian, venetian, rather, dish. Spaghetti not spaghetti. It looks like another cut of pasta. Maybe a fat fettucini or Something Like that. I love that. Fat fettucini. Jimmy is it a venetian style pasta . Gosh, i guess so. Yes, yes, its venetian. Jimmy youre humoring me now. I have no idea what thats called. You made it up . I made it up. Jimmy thats pretty good. Were those egg little eggies. Isnt it orange . It. Can go both ways. Gotcha. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] so what did i put in that pasta . Theres langostines. I think this was around the time of the very long and extended election and we were like, we need champagne and caviar, were going to have the best day ever then i was like drinking lots of champagne. Being like, i cant eat any more caviar. We had a little bit left, i made a pasta. Jimmy do you make the pasta yourself . Yeah. Jimmy you crank it out . Or go through a machine . So i cranked it out. Jimmy wow. Then also but thats a machine. Jimmy well, yeah. You could do it all by hand but i use the little thing there is a more jimmy no, thats the thats doing it by hand, really. I mean, you could cut it with a knife, but nobody really does that. Right, right. Jimmy no, youre doing it the right way. Right. Jimmy i approve of all your decisions. [ laughter ] i did no kneading. Thanks, im glad. Wasnt really looking for your jimmy i know. But its important to me that i give it the stamp of approval. You understand, right . Of course, of course. Jimmy i i love proving thing. I enjoyed your movie, by the way. This is you got a lot of funny people in this movie. Yeah. Jimmy which makes it more fun to do. When did you shoot this film . Right before we all went inside for our long reprieve. It was in january. Jimmy in january. You got it done in time for the plague, the apocalypse . Thats right, yeah. Jimmy although at that time you had no idea you were racing against the clock. No, and its funny. Yeah, in retrospect, we all had the most cozy, warm, kind of together, big ensemble experience, which is rare. We all really did like each other. Going in i was like, okay, so thats definitely forever how you do it. I just am so, like i feel so lucky that i have such a sort of like grouporiented movie right before by all went inside. In the moment i was totally taking it for granted, like this is great now im like, whoa, that was really incredible experience. Jimmy have you guys already talked about doing a sequel to the movie, just to get the group together again . Wouldi would love that so mu jimmy whos your favorite person on the movie . Oh, boy. Oh jimmy remember, a lot of feelings are riding on this. [ laughter ] i know. Im projecting that this matters to all these people. They dont care. Jimmy you know what lets take a break, you can think about it. When we come back, you will declare the winner. Your best friend in the movie happiest season. Kristen stewart is here, well be right back dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live of brought to you by paypal. Download the paypal and venmo apps to shop, save with qr codes at cvs. And a mouthwatering sauce. 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