Featuring nicki minaj, and the legendary roots crew. Questlove 737, austin, yeah steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, my goodness. This is a hot crowd. [ cheers and applause ] a beautiful, goodlooking hot crowd here tonight here in new york city. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to the tonight show. Heres what people are talking about. I saw this morning, President Trump tweeted that his border wall is going to be built out of old fences. [ laughter ] which explains why today millions of americans walked out of their homes and said, where the hells my fence . [ laughter and applause ] im building a chain link fence. Trump also went on twitter to criticize hillarys new book. So she responded by saying shed send him a copy of her Childrens Book instead. [ laughter ] trump was like, got anything shorter . [ laughter and applause ] ill take the book. Ill take the kids book. Meanwhile, ivanka trump said that she doesnt speak out against her dad publicly because when youre part of a a team, youre part of a team. I think what she meant to say was, when youre part of a a will, youre part of a will. [ laughter ] i mean, its just common sense. [ applause ] steve you got to think about it. This is big though, after meeting with democratic leaders, it seems like trump changed his mind on daca. Democrats were like, yeah, we told him it stood for for doughnuts across america. So he was like [ laughter and applause ] oh, i love doughnuts. Everyone is talking about daca. A couple weeks ago, trump said that he was ending it. Now he seems like hes working with democrats to replace it. Nobody knows whats going to happen. And obviously a lot of immigrants are concerned. So here to talk to us a little more about the issue is tonight show correspondent julio torres. [ cheers and applause ] hi, hi, hi. Hello, jimmy. Hi. [ light laughter ] jimmy hi, julio. So, why dont you tell us a a little bit about yourself. Sure. My name is julio. I was born and raised as a a brunette. [ laughter ] im from el salvador. I live in brooklyn. Im an aquarius and my favorite color is clear. [ laughter ] jimmy great, great. And we just want to confirm that youre a reallive person. Youre not some funny weird character that we made up. No, yes, correct, i am real. But i am not an american, though im very, very fond of this country. I grew up in el salvador watching a lot of american tv. Thats part of the reason why im fluent in english now. Like so many little gay boys in el salvador, i could only dream of maybe, just maybe, meeting ally mcbeal one day. [ laughter ] jimmy i hope you do. Ive met her. Shes great. Well, i havent. Jimmy yeah. But i came from a tiny, tiny Central American country and look at me now. Im part of the, como se dice [ laughter ] liberal media elite. Jimmy yeah, good. [ laughter ] julio, what do you think of the notions that Illegal Immigrants steal jobs from American Workers . Well, im a standup comedian but not just any kind. Im the sort of a queer multimedia kind. Jimmy yeah. [ light laughter ] the other day i was covered completely in glitter holding a a little crystal pyramid wondering how to incorporate it into my act, and i thought, oh, im sorry, is this one of the many good jobs im stealing from hardworking americans . [ laughter and applause ] jimmy uhhuh. Thats interesting. Am i supposed to be viewed as a threat somehow . Look, im not here because of daca. My path was different. I am here under a visa that claims that i am an alien of extraordinary ability. Pause for laughter or applause. [ laughter and applause ] thank you. I think this will all work out, but its just frustrating that we keep having these conversations, immigrant or dreamer or illegal. These are broad labels composed of very real, unique people with their own hopes and dreams. Today, im a legal little space twink but tomorrow [ laughter ] i could be just another bad hombre on my way out. [ laughter ] trump keeps changing his mind on this, and i get it. We all have a little angel on one shoulder and a cabinet full of racist devils on another. [ laughter and applause ] you know, the only person i connect with in this administration is melania. Because just like me, shes foreign, shes a beautiful ice princess. [ laughter ] and we both scan the room for the nearest exit whenever we read to children. [ laughter ] look, look, i really want to stay in america, but if this doesnt work out, i guess ill just marry a billionaire and become first lady. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy julio torres, everyone. Julio, thank you, buddy. Julio, thank you for being here. Guys, this was going viral. Yesterday, trump wore a blue jacket with black pants to a a meeting on race relations. Take a look at this. This is very yeah. [ laughter ] trump was like, i told you, i dont see color. [ laughter and applause ] so people are still talking about this ted cruz scandal where his twitter account liked a pornographic video. [ laughter ] and hes been blaming his staff for the incident, and i think that theyre getting a little fed up with it. You can kind of hear them in the background during this interview. Listen close. Your twitter handle liked a a post that was clearly porn. What happened . Look, it was we had a a staffer who accidentally hit the wrong button. No. That was you. [ laughter ] and it was a screwup. You screwed yourself. As soon as we found out about it, we pulled it down. Oh, you pulled it all right. [ laughter ] jimmy all right. You see what im saying . That was. No, yeah. [ applause ] thats steve cruz. Jimmy hey, target announced that it will hire 100,000 seasonal employees during the holidays. Ten of them will be on the register, the rest will Wander Around saying, i dont work in this department. [ laughter and applause ] i just need who does . Theyre in the other department. And finally, i read about a a brother and sister in michigan who reunited after 50 years apart. [ audience aws ] unfortunately, it was on tinder. Yeah. [ laughter and applause ] we have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we have a huge show tonight. Thank you, roots. Thank you, higgins. How you doin, man . Steve hows it going . Jimmy how was your break . Steve my break. Jimmy anyway, we got a a great show tonight. From the new movie stronger, Jake Gyllenhaal is here tonight. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] love that dude. Jimmy hes a stud hes a movie star. We love that guy. Ive always felt connected with jake like were on the same wavelength so were putting that to the test tonight. Jake and i are going to have a a brainstorm. Steve ooh. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy were going to share one brain. Also, were honored to have her. Dr. Jane goodall is dropping in tonight. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy the one and only. And we got great music tonight. You guys ready for this . [ cheers and applause ] yo gotti featuring nicki minaj tonight. [ cheers and applause ] rake it up. Guys, it is time for tonight show hashtags. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] Hashtags Hashtags jimmy guys, we do this thing every wednesday where i will send out a hashtag and we will ask you guys to respond to that topic and since tons of College Students are getting to know their new roommates this week, i sent out a hashtag called myweirdroommate. [ laughter ] all of us have had a weird roommate at one point. I asked you guys to send us a a funny, weird, or embarrassing story about your roommates. We got a huge response. Within 30 minutes, it was a a trending topic in the u. S. So thank you [ cheers and applause ] thank you for getting involved. Now i thought id share some of my favorite myweirdroommate stories from you guys. Here we go. This first one is from chrislilli. He says, i used to live with a a guy who would put ketchup straight onto our glass coffee table to dip french fries in so he could avoid cleaning a a dish. [ audience ews ] steve ah [ applause ] wow. This one is from mellynn. She says, my roommate used to knock on my bedroom door in the middle of the night and when i opened it, she would say, just checking. [ laughter and applause ] okay. Just terrified. Okay. [ laughter ] this one is from wyou knowyyit. [ laughter ] steve how many ys . I think its five ys. Steve wh jimmy wyyyyyit. Wyou knowyyit. Steve wyou knowyit. Jimmy she says, i wanted to get out of my apartment asap. I saw an ad that said looking for a clean, quiet roommate. I called the number. It was my roommate. [ laughter and applause ] [ audience oohs ] steve do you like pina coladas . Jimmy this next ones from mahools. Steve oh, mahools. Jimmy she said you know mahools . Steve oh, mahools, i love mahools. [ laughter ] jimmy thats not the nonalcoholic beverage that you drink. Steve oh, its not . Jimmy that is odouls. Steve oh, that is odouls. Jimmy yeah. Steve okay, im sorry, i love odouls. Jimmy mahools is a a nonalcoholic bar. Steve nonalcoholic jimmy the whole bar, nonalcoholic. Thats actually a play land. Its gymboree steve its a gymboree. Jimmy gymboree for children. Yeah, its not even for adults its for children. Steve the ball pit. Jimmy its a trampoline park. Steve yeah. Jimmy i dont want to get into it. [ light laughter ] steve lot of lawsuits. Jimmy lot of lawsuits. Because theres no license. Steve no, zero licenses. It is filthy. Jimmy actually, it is a a bar. Its a trampoline bar. [ laughter ] anyways. Anyways steve wait, its a a trampoline bar . Jimmy yes, and theres a a 6foot pool in there, as well. [ laughter ] you can trampoline into the pool and drink. Steve yeah. Jimmy its awful. They should close it down. Ive been saying, please close mahools. [ laughter ] ive always said that. Steve oh, youve always said that. You have that tattoo. Jimmy this is i do. [ laughter ] i never get to see it. Steve no, you cant see it. Jimmy thats the only thats its problem. Steve yeah. Jimmy thats why i cant sleep at night. Steve because you jimmy i cant see most of my tattoos. Steve did you get one . You should get a mirror thats a double mirror so you can see yourself in the mirror backwards so you can read your tattoos. You know what im saying . Jimmy yeah, i think. But im a vampire so i cant even i dont have a reflection. Steve oh, i forgot. [ laughter ] i forgot. Jimmy i dont have a a reflection. You dont understand my life steve youre count dracula junior. Jimmy you dont even understand what my life is like. [ laughter and applause ] you dont understand what my life is like. Vampire with tattoos. [ laughter ] all right. This is from mahools. [ laughter ] she says, my roommate would number her kraft singles with a a sharpie so shed know if we took one. Oh, god steve oh [ audience ews ] [ applause ] im missing singles 7 through 10. [ laughter ] steve did anybody eat those . Jimmy anyone hungry . [ light laughter ] thats what i thought. [ laughter ] steve were going jimmy someones eating my cheese. [ laughter ] steve were going to mahools. Jimmy we are going to mahools. Meet me there if you want to. [ laughter ] but thats my last name. Steve yeah. Jimmy oh, can you get us in . No coverage charge . Steve for three kraft singles. [ laughter ] jimmy because were three crafty singles. [ laughter ] and a little cheesy. [ laughter and applause ] all right. Lets just go. Steve come on [ cheers and applause ] oh, his tattoo is acting up. Walking across the stage. Waving goodbye. Oh, my gosh. Youre taping this whole episode. Jimmy no, this is [ laughter ] alexa, record. Alexa, record the to [ laughter ] uh it wasnt alexa. Its failed tape. Hey, this next one. Steve who is it from . Jimmy this is from paisleee. Steve oh, i love her. [ laughter ] jimmy she says, there was a fire in our building at 4 00 a. M. Smoke filled the halls but my roommate stopped to curl her hair in case a fireman saw her. [ laughter and applause ] all right. Are you november . [ light laughter ] fireman calendar. Okay. [ light laughter ] steve thank you. Jimmy thank you. Fireman calendar reference, right . Classic bit. Steve november. Jimmy jimmy names the fireman calendars. [ laughter ] steve you see on calendars. Jimmy mr. November. Thats what im saying. This ones from brianricci. He says, every time my roommate laughs at something on tv, he looks at me to see if im laughing, too. [ laughter and applause ] i get it. Do you get it . No, i dont get it either. Steve i dont get it. Do you think its funny . Jimmy this last one is from mmmargolies. [ laughter ] m. M. Steve m. M. Jimmy m. M. Margolies steve m m. [ light laughter ] jimmy mahna mahna. [ laughter ] steve margolies. Jimmy mahna mahna. Steve margolies, too. Jimmy mahna mahna. Margolies, margolies margolies, margolies margols [ laughter ] jimmy last ones from mmmargolies. He says, once i couldnt figure out why all my underwear was missing. I asked my roommate. He pulled down his pants and said, looking for these . [ laughter and applause ] there you go. Those are tonight show hashtags. Check out more of our favorites go to tonightshow. Com hashtags. Stick around. Well be right back with Jake Gyllenhaal. [ cheers and applause ] what would you do if you had even more time to explore . Book your next stay through the fine hotels and resorts program and enjoy a world of benefits with the platinum card. Open up the world with platinum. Backed by the service and security of american express. Backed by the service and security of american express. Get on up, mama. Get on up. Do what you want. Do you want, let the record hop. Degree motionsense. Ultimate freshness. With every move. The more you move, the more it works. Degree, it wont let you down. No, no. K up. The all new 2018 camry. Toyota. Lets go places. Appearance of conservative speaker ben shapiro. There was a heavy Police Presence on campus before and after the speech. Officers say one woman was injured in a scuffle over a sign. Reveal and on twitter at least 7 earthquakes hit the south bay thursday. All of the quakes were centered in the East San Jose foothills. There were no reports of any damage. Ah the moon belongs to everyone the best things in life theyre free stars belong to everyone they cling there for you and for me flowers in spring the robins that sing the sunbeams that shine theyre yours and their mine love can come to everyone the best things in life theyre free [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest is an Academy Awardnominated actor who stars in the new movie stronger, which is in theaters everywhere september 22nd. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Jake Gyllenhaal [ cheers and applause ] jimmy jake, youre stud. You look great, buddy. Thank you for coming back to the show. I love having you on the show. Thank you, man. Jimmy i want to have you here all the time. Im here im here all the time. Jimmy no, but i want to have you on the show any time that you want and you know this, you can come on the show. Thats really nice. Thats a big thats a big thing. [ laughter ] ive been begging for jimmy i think youre dodging the answer. Thats what im saying. You can come on any time you want. Thanks. Jimmy that is a big thing. [ laughter ] buddy, i we were talking backstage, and not like i could ever give you advice. But youre telling me youre producing, you produced this movie yeah. Jimmy which good for you on this. But acting, producing, its so much work. Its so great. Jimmy i dont know, man, too much work. Yeah, youre in all the discussions. You get to talk to the director more. You get to talk with everybody. Its so great. Its so fun. Jimmy i know, but i dont know. For me, its too much work. Oh, yeah, well jimmy this is too much work. [ laughter ] but but, but, i mean. Is that why you want me to come on the show . Jimmy yeah, i want you to host. I want you to host the show. Yeah, no. Will you just come in and host for a month . Jimmy its Jake Gyllenhaal month on the tonight show. [ light laughter ] literally i would but you were telling me, we were talking about advice, and who gave you some great advice. I always like to hear this stuff. And you got advice from president obama. I did. I did. I got a jimmy tell the story. Even just the walking in, everything. I went on a tour of the white house. I was like, i was just i was in washington and i was like, i should go to the white house. And i had never been so, like, i asked if i could go on a tour and, like, i was there and i was super psyched. And then jimmy and then jumped the fence. Yeah. It was so easy to get in. [ laughter ] jimmy took a drone over there. Yeah, it was super easy. Yeah, just, like, knock on the door. And i was on the normal on the normal tour, and then someone just diverted me and they were like, somebody would like to talk to you. You know, i like, they diverted me into, what i guess i dont know where i was going and i was so confused. And i was in, like, i guess, right outside the oval office and it was like joe biden and Hillary Clinton were there and they were like, hello, jake. And i was like, am i in a a dream . [ laughter ] i was literally like, whats going on . And then and then they were like, we hear youre here and its nice to have you here at the white house. Blah, blah, blah. We were talking. Joe biden gave me a huge hug. Which was so awesome and super uncomfortable. [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, it was really it was super cool. And then all of a sudden the door opened and there was president obama and he was like, jake. Jimmy what door opened . This sounds like a dream, doesnt it . Jimmy yeah, yeah, it sounds fake [ light laughter ] they were like, who everyone here has had this dream. Theyre like, i walked in the thing and all of a sudden theres Hillary Clinton. Jimmy wait, but did you open the oval office. No. Yeah, but they opened the door and he was like, jake, whats up . And then i was like jimmy he never said, jake, whats up. [ laughter ] yeah, there were like there were like, 40 people jimmy that sounds like the fresh prince of bel air opening. [ light laughter ] its like, youre just like, jake, whats up . No hes the president would never say. Yes, he did. He did, he did. Jimmy now, this is a story, i went to the white house, i went down the hall and the president was there. I said hey, jake. Oh, sorry, what . I forgot where i was. [ light laughter ] jimmy no problem. Sleeping during my bit. But the oval office. Id never been in there at all. I mean, there was a photo of me hanging there. No big deal. But anyway theres a theres a bust of you. Jimmy theres a bust of me in the oval office. The fallon bust. Jimmy but he opened the door and its probably one of those moving wall doors. Or is it a real door . I dont know, man. I wasnt paying attention. Jimmy all right, all right, sorry. Im sorry. I just want details. Yeah, no, like the rug it opened up like in a weird way and all of a sudden the president was there and i didnt know what to say. I couldnt really i couldn