And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 782. Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you very much welcome to the show. Welcome, everybody, welcome to the tonight show, baby. This is it. This is the one to watch. This is it. Im excited. Well, heres what people are talking about, you guys. What a crazy weekend in washington. First, former National Security adviser Michael Flynn cut a a plea deal with Robert Mueller and then the Senate Passed the gop tax bill. I tried to follow it on the news, but all the anchors have been fired for sexual harassment, so i didnt see anything. [ applause ] steve really . Jimmy i dont know whats going on. Thats right. Michael flynn agreed to a plea deal with Robert Mueller and it came out that the fbi is investigating everyone in the white house all the way to the top. Trump was like, oh my god, theyre investigating putin . Everybody. Everybody. Everybody [ laughter ] [ applause ] thats right, flynn cut a deal and is now working with the investigation. So i guess after helping trump transition into the white house, hes helping transition him out. Yeah, thats very interesting. [ cheers and applause ] he does everything. Oh, and get this, trump might have incriminated himself when he tweeted that he had to fire flynn because he lied to mike pence and the fbi. You could tell trump was scared cause his next tweet was like, jklol. [ laughter and applause ] doesnt fix the problem. Jimmy but after trump posted the tweet, the white house claimed it was actually written by trumps lawyer. Then trump saw how many retweets it got and was like, never mind, i wrote it. [ applause ] yeah, i guess, i retweeted myself. The other big story is that early saturday morning, Senate Republicans passed their tax plan. They said we realize doing this in the dead of night makes us look sneaky, corrupt and dishonest. Anyway, have a great weekend. [ laughter and applause ] but the bills drawn lots of criticism. Experts say it will ruin health care, cause problems for the elderly, and add over 1 trillion to the deficit. Trumps cabinet was like, phew, thank god were going to jail. I mean, could you imagine if we had to live in this world . [ applause ] and Senate Democrats went after republicans for making a bunch of handwritten changes to the tax reform bill just hours before voting on it. You could barely read some of them. This is a real photo. Take a look at this. Yeah. Cant really tell what the writing says. Well, we want some answers. So here now, via satellite, from washington, is one of the people who voted for the bill. Please welcome republican senator cory gardner. Cory. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Jimmy yeah. Now senator, you voted for this bill, but a lot of people have been saying that all these scribbles were impossible to read. Well, to be perfectly frank, its a lot clearer and more straightforward than what people are saying. Jimmy okay. Then can you please tell us what those changes said. Absolutely. One example is article 19, section b, which clearly states that our tax bill will significantly lower taxes for agripolental redudicratic convorpulations. [ laughter ] jimmy im sorry, lower taxes for what . It will lower taxes for all ambularental chromosomatic compulnacations. [ laughter ] jimmy i have no idea what you just said. Well, its very straightforward. [ laughter ] jimmy fine. Can you give me another example . Sure. Article 273, section d, very plainly indicates that any individual may claim a a deduction for interest paid on accumulated combustion muffins. Jimmy accumulated combustion muffins . Choreographed dolphin fluffin. [ laughter ] jimmy dolphin fluffin . Exactly. It allows deductions for computeragitated corgi puzzles. Jimmy repeat what you just said. Gastrointestinal strudel noodles. Jimmy senator gardner, im starting to suspect that you have no clue what the very bill you signed actually says. Of course i do. Jimmy then say it slowly so i can repeat it. Well, this is very childish, but fine. Our bill cuts the tax rate. Jimmy our bill cuts the tax rate. For anyone who. Jimmy for anyone who nerd twerdle cofefe kardashian. Jimmy all right, get out of here. Cory gardner, everybody. Nerd twerdle . Nerd twerdle . Steve what . Nerd twerdle. Jimmy cory gardner, everybody, cory gardner, there he is. [ cheers and applause ] its also its also pretty big. This morning, trump endorsed roy moore with a tweet saying, we need roy moore to win alabama. Turns out trump has been tweeting so much in the morning, its actually inspired a new product. Take a look at this. Do you have trouble waking up in the morning . Need an extra jolt to get out of bed . Then try the all new trump tweets alarm clock, the only alarm clock that wakes you up by reading trumps latest insane tweets, which happen every day at like 6 00 am. [ whistle ] we need roy moore to win in alabama. [ whistle ] the russia investigation is a a witch hunt. [ whistle ] im getting rid of alaska. Its just a big, cold hawaii. The trump tweets alarm clock. Crazy never sleeps. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy for the holiday season. Steve yeah, for the holidays. Jimmy some business news, i read that cvs will buy the Health Care Company aetna for about 69 billion. Its so much money that they have to wait for a manager to come press a button on the selfcheckout machine. You know what im talking about . [ applause ] thats right, cvs is buying aetna for 69 billion. When the cvs chairman got home, his wife said, oh, man, i had a coupon for that. [ applause ] you should have told me you were buying aetna this made me laugh. The Pontiac Silver Dome was set to be demolished in detroit yesterday. It was supposed to be a big explosion. Everyone came to watch. Lets see how it turned out. [ explosion ] [ laughter ] jimmy oops. What were they using to blow it up, diet coke and mentos . You guys, we have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots right there [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hey guys, it is monday. Were excited to be back. We have a huge week of shows ahead. Kate mckinnon will be here. John cena will be here. James franco and hugh jackman will all be joining us. [ cheers and applause ] steve wow jimmy and we have music performances from wiz khalifa featuring ty dolla sign, niall horan, and luke bryan. [ cheers and applause ] but first, we have a great show tonight. He stars alongside amy schumer in Steve Martins meteor shower. It is the hottest show on broadway. Keeganmichael key is here, ladies and gentlemen. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy plus, from the fantastic Netflix Series the crown, the talented claire foy will be here. [ cheers and applause ] and this is huge. Tonight, we are revealing this years honoree for the 2 2017 Sports Illustrated sportsperson of the year award. He or she steve we dont know which jimmy will be joining us tonight. This is just my book. This is not steve cause you cant say it. Jimmy no, i cant. Well thats the whole fun of it. Steve right. Jimmy i mean, we are announcing it. This is big news. Steve right, nobody knows. Jimmy sportsperson of the year. Steve of the year. Jimmy we dont know who im interviewing. Steve i dont even know. Jimmy i dont know even when the interviews over. Steve really . You dont even know what day it is. Jimmy yeah, they tell me im not supposed to remember anything. Steve yeah, dont say nothing. Jimmy oh, have we got great music tonight. Man, oh man, our show has had some great music on the past couple weeks. I mean, we always get good acts and stuff like that, but tonight its just beautifully done and great everything. Well, i think we have the best sound of any show on tv as well as lighting and everything. I just its just fantastic. Anyways, get ready for this. We have great music tonight from st. Vincent, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] steve yeah, whoa jimmy its going to be great. We have more tonight show after the break. Stick around, everybody [ cheers and applause ] music playing this holiday, the best gift you can give, is your time. Volunteer at neighbhorhoodofgood. Com. State farm. I met bruce i saw on his lapel ches got a purple heart. E bruce we started talking about the service. I outrank him. chris [laughs] yeah. Meals on wheels reaches so many people. Its impactful beyond anything ive ever done in my life. bruce the meals and his friendship really mean, means a lot to me. vo through the subaru share the love event, weve helped deliver over onepoint seven million meals to those in need. Get a new subaru and well donate two hundred fifty dollars more. chris and bruce put a little love in your heart. [ cheers and applause ] steve ladies and gentlemen, Bruce Springsteen. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy so cold and alone d. C. Winds whippin around the white house. You guys been good this year . [ cheers and applause ] jared, you been good . Everybody in the Trump Administration been good or what . Not many. [ light laughter ] theres not many. You guys are in trouble out here. Well you better watch out you better not cry you better not lie to the f. B. I. Robert muellers coming to town Robert Muellers coming to town Robert Muellers coming to town hes making a list naughty and nice hes gonna find out just who to indict Robert Muellers coming to town Robert Muellers coming to town Robert Muellers coming to town he sees your russian dealings hes read all your emails he knows that you tried to collude it isnt fake news for Goodness Sake it isnt fake news for Goodness Sake oh you better watch out you better not cry you better not tweet that you knew flynn lied Robert Muellers coming to town Robert Muellers coming to town Robert Muellers coming to town pass tax plans when youre sleeping you know thats your mistake the midterm elections coming soon in 2018 youre gonna pay 2018 youre gonna pay oh you better watch out you better not cry you better not lie to the f. B. I Robert Muellers coming to town oh yeah Robert Muellers coming to town Robert Muellers coming to town [ cheers and applause ] jimmy coming after you. Hes gonna get you too. All your asses are going to jail. Merry christmas. [ cheers and applause ] being a location scout, my office is on my back. The less stuff i have to carry the better. With surface pro, i have one device that does everything. Technology has really changed how i do this job. On pacific rim uprising our characters are 250 ft. Tall. Where in the heck are you gonna land this big robot . Pulled up a satellite image and there is like a giant bullseye, robots here i feel very proud of what i bring to the screen. I have the greatest job in the world. Give extra. Get extra. But it might be hard to handle like the flame that burns the candle the candle feeds the flame topped steak twisted potatoes at applebees. Now thats eatin good in the neighborhood. Can you pass me that tinsel . Ooh, a pink tree . One. Its millennial pink not seeing the vision. How about a little gold . How about rose gold . Lets do it um, love dad molly, can you please take out the trash . sigh dad molly trash whoo mom hey, molly . Its time to go bell ringing class, lets turn to page 136, recessive traits skip generations. Who would like to read . molly i reprogrammed the robots to do the inspection. Its running much faster now. See . Its amazing, molly. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we are joined right now by an emmy and Peabody Award Winning writer and performer who made his broadway debut last week alongside amy schumer in a new play called meteor shower, which was written by the great steve martin. Put it together for our friend of the show, keeganmichael key, ladies and gentlemen [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy keeganmichael key man, thats what im talking about [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much. Thank you for coming in. You got this band, you got to do a hot intro. Jimmy you got to do a hot intro. Youve got to do it. Right, quest . Oh my gosh. Hey. Jimmy how you doing . Hows everything going . Couldnt be better, man. Im on broadway [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats right its real. Its real. Its amazing. Its really, really amazing. Were having a great time, and its every day, the camaraderie and the rhythm of it feels really fantastic. Its nothing like live theater. Jimmy this is the only night you have off, right . Its my only night off. Yeah, i work six days a week. I wanted to be on the tonight show with jimmy fallon. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats what im saying. Thats why we love and you know i love you. Jimmy do you get any time off for the holidays at all . Do you get to go no, no, we are performing right through the holidays so we performed i had two shows before thanksgiving and two shows after thanksgiving. We have two shows, i think, the day before christmas and after christmas. But its so much fun. But thats the gift. Thats the gift. Because i love to be the fact that we can perform and give joy to the people in the audience and families are coming, so were here. Were here. Jimmy normally, do you go to detroit . Is that where youre from . Yeah, im from detroit. Im from detroit, so typically i go nobody. [ laughter ] jimmy not even thats like silence. Jimmy no, you heard someone, like, unwrapping a a candy. Whats that . What did he say . Detroit . Is that a werthers . Jimmy i love a werthers. Oh, shoot. Hes talking to us. Im from detroit. I was born and raised in detroit. And um [ cheers ] okay, now its pity. [ laughter ] come on, guys. But they jimmy no, since you last talked, we brought people in from detroit. From detroit, yeah. Jimmy seconds seconds ago [ laughter ] jimmy dude, how about this stadium . The silver dome. Jimmy the silver dome. The Pontiac Silver Dome, which is in pontiac, michigan. The Pontiac Silver Dome is where the Detroit Lions played for decades. Jimmy yeah. And i used to go there as a a kid. The Detroit Pistons played there for decades and lots of things take took place there. And they were supposed to demolish it on sunday. Jimmy yeah. And they put all the explosives in there, they went to implode the stadium, and it didnt go down. [ light laughter ] we couldnt even get that right. [ laughter ] so, like, a quarter of the stadium is Still Standing right now. They tried to blow this thing up three days in a row, and they cant get it. That stadium is built ford tough. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats right thats right. Detroit, thats right. Thats right, baby. Chrysler imported from detroit. Buy american [ laughter ] i get no money for that. Jimmy i want to talk theres a lot of things happening for you. First of all, congratulations on your engagement. Thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Jimmy but last time we talked, it was Just Announced that you were going to be in the new remake of the lion king with beyonce. Yes, with beyonce, yes. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy and directed by jon favreau. Jon favreau, yes. I play one of the hyenas. Remember from the original movie . Jimmy of course everybody remembers. [ cheers and applause ] whoopi and cheech marin. So i play one of the hyenas and i was very fortunate that eric andre, who plays one of the other hyenas, we got to work together, which, you never get to work together. Youre always just kind of in a a booth going what . Youre never going to get him to do that. Ow [ screaming ] hes burning my ass you know . And you never you never get to see the person who burns your ass. Never get to meet them. You never get to understand what jimmy you never get to meet that person. Whats the motivation behind them burning my ass . You dont get to learn anything about the other actors. So, it was nice that we got to interact with each other. Jimmy i cant wait for that. Im looking forward to that. But also looking forward to this. Congratulations, youre getting great reviews on this, meteor shower. [ cheers and applause ] you and amy schumer. You and amy schumer. Who else is in the cast . Two amazing actors, Laura Benanti and jeremy shamos, who are both broadway, just veterans. Jimmy they know how to do it. Oh, they know how to do it. Lauras been doing broadway her entire life. 18 years old. Jimmy so good. So good. Beauti sings like an angel. And jeremys theyre both like these journeymen, solid. Theyre the ringers. Theyre the ringers. Amy and i are just like, down stage where . Jimmy but these are broadway vets. Theyre broadway vets. Jimmy and you and amy working together . Amy heres the thing. Amy its so interesting. Amy being a standup and me being a sketch person, were used to and an improviser, were so used to performing with an audience thats interacting with us and talking back to us. So every now and again something will happen in the audience where someone will Say Something and we both its like chum in the water. And we both like sharks, were like you know, theres times where were Holding Hands and stuff like that. And youll hear someone. [ mumbling under breath ] dont, dont, dont, dont, dont. Dont, dont, dont. [ laughter ] we in a play, girl, dont do it and there was a time i know she was on stage with laura one day and she has a line where she goes, oh her characters name is corky. And laura says, oh, corky, youre so sensitive. Where did you grow up . And she goes, cleveland. And this guy in the audience goes, oh, no. [ laughter ] what . Amys like, i want to get him. I want to get him. Jimmy but how shes getting great reviews as well. Yeah. I mean, shes taken to it like a fish to water. Shes been really, really fantastic. And super comfortable on stage. And the show changes a little bit every night, and we try to say all the same lines all the time. But well stick little physical bits in there and stuff like that. And sometimes jimmy just for you guys . Just for each oth