[ cheers and applause jimmy thank you. Hello. Welcome. Hey, looking good. Thank you very much. Everybody welcome. Welcome, welcome welcome to the tonight show. Give it up for the roots right there, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers ] nice to see you, boys. [ cheers ] thank you, sir you guys, theres so much going on right now beyonce just dropped a new album [ cheers and applause and a Netflix Documentary all in the same day. Also, the time 100 list was released the Mueller Report comes out tomorrow, and someone leaked the end to the avengers. [ audience ohs ] theres a lot to go over so, lets just jump in, and ve [ cheers and applas been busy, who else has been busy Robert Mueller hes been working on his report for 22 months. The president was like, thats crazy, thats four years. But you know what else could take 22 months watching every avengers movie. Someone [ cheers and applause well earned months someone just leaked the ending to endgame, and now everyone is freaking out, so please dont post spoilers. If you do, you know where you wont end up, on times list of 100 most influential people yeah [ applause ] 100 people, thats the same number of people that still subscribe to time magazine, but there are so many great names on this years list. Michelle obama, lebron james, and of course Robert Mueller [ laughter ] President Trump says muellers report will exonerate him, but democrats arent so sure which makes sense. I mean, theyre known to swing to the left to the left [ laughter ]i still cant belie released an album and a documentary. I mean, how did she find the time speaking of the time 100, i saw that bts made this years list we love those guys they have almost as many members as the avengers. Seriously, dont post spoilers if you do, guess whos going to be knocking on your door Robert Mueller [ laughter ] in conclusion, times list read it. Mueller report read it. Beyonce documentary, watch it. Avengers spoilers, watch it. [ cheers and applause there is a theres a lot to talk about, but we got to start with beyonce. I mean, everybody is excited about her documentary, that includes local news anchors. Seemke same idea when it came to covering it. Watch this the beehive is buzzing. The beyhive is buzzing the beehive is buzzing. The beehive buzzing queen bee, she is buzzing all right [ laughter ] jimmy all right. Steve all right. Jimmy queen buzz is beying i am so stan right now, af. [ applause ] its Pretty Amazing though she released a documentary and a surprise album when they heard that democrats and republicans were like, forget the Mueller Report, this is the only release that matters. I mean this is it right here. [ cheers and applause you guys hear about this e. L. James, the woman who wrote fifty shades of grey, shes come out with her newest erotic novel. Its called the mister. Steve ooh. [ audience oohs jimmy and the storys actually about income inequality, or as Bernie Sanders put it, ive never been so turned on in my life. [ cheers and applause i want to read chapter two call critics are calling it the most sexually charged story ever about the guy at the super thats right, the book is market that sprays the produce hi, im the mister [ laughter ] here is a [ laughter ] see, im trying to do the steve spray bottles. Jimmy the sound effect, yeah spray steve i like the sound effect, too. That was a good one. [ croaking ] now do the 409 ill do that for you jimmy oh, whats the other steve you go like this jimmy all right so [ croaking ] [ laughter ] steve mr. Mister. My ohice. Mr. Mister. Reference. Kyrie eleison down the roa that i must travel Kyrie Eleison im in a mr. Mister cover band [ laughter ] heres a crazy story a Science Teacher in japan was arrested for teaching his students how to make ecstasy the teacher says he feels terrible, but also really, really good. [ laughter ] [ applause ] listen to this, the other day in connecticut a Police Officer who likes to wear tap shoes while hes on duty was able to run down a car thief, and the suspect asked how many years hed spend in jail, the officer was like, five, six, seven, eight. [ applause ] i like that. Steve come on. Jimmy finally, check this out. Carls jr. Is testing out a cbd infused burger [ cheers and applause so far, its working cause customers, eat the burger outside, look up and say sweet, carls jr. And then walk back inside [ laughter ] it works its fantastic kind of genius [ applause ] guys, i read somethinglyt steve what jimmy so weve updated math to make the equations more about stuff modern kids can relate to in a segment called popular mathematics. [ cheers and applause popular mathematics mathematics jimmy first, lets take a look at our first equation here if you take anderson cooper, plus sticking a fork in an electrical outlet, it equals Bernie Sanders steve what jimmy you see what im saying so thats do you understand yeah, if you take your sexy math teacher steve love it. Jimmy plus the enthusiasm of a summer intern, it equals beto orourke. Steve oh [ cheers and applause jimmy im so excited to teach you algebra. Heres another one striking a match tefitch, it equals lit af. [ laughter ] steve lit af. Jimmy that joke was on fleek steve fleek. On fleek street. [ laughter ] bought a condo there [ laughter ] jimmy if you take candy crush. Steve sure jimmy plus playing while youre on the toilet, it equals game on thrones. Steve oh [ cheers ] jimmy there you go, that one come on. Steve come on. Jimmy now youre stretching the imagination. Steve thats crappy. Jimmy here is another one, fall out boys pete wentz steve sure jimmy plus pirates booty, plus the edge times two. Steve yeah jimmy equals Pete Buttigieg steve oh [ cheers and applause jimmy if you take blts minus the lettuce, it equals bts. Steve oh [ cheers ] jimmy great sandwich great band whats your favorite sandwich . Steve i have to say, gosh dang it. Jimmy is it like a steve its either a reuben jimmy a reuben steve yeah, thank you. Jimmy i understand steve reuben is a good one french dip jimmy french dip my favorite rapper dude. Steve french dip jimmy ladies and gentlemen french dip [ airhorn i might dip i like this i dip it like that i dip it wit a whiffle ball bat [ airhorn steve french dat jimmy french dat dude, french dab, dude steve yeah jimmy french dab steve yeah jimmy french dab tariq, favorite sandwich tariq questloves impossible cheese steaks jimmy oh [ audience oohs feels like a plug. [ laughter ] that feels like [ talking over each other jimmy do you have a favorite sandwich, cause youre a cook . Tariq yeah, im going to go rotisserie Chicken Salad jimmy oh, rotisserie Chicken Salad . Tariq yeah jimmy what makes it a salad, mayonnaise . Tariq celery, see i like you, i hate mayonnaise, but a little teeny bit, like in a Chicken Salad, in a tuna salad, you know what i mean, just a dab of mayo jimmy wait, . Steve hey [ air horn ] yo yo yo say rotisserie thats why i say r you say tisserie rotisserie rotisserie give it up for french dab. [ cheers ] steve 501 hundred, the sandwich squad top of the billboard [ laughter ] jimmy oh, here is another one, continuing the bit. [ laughter ] jimmy popular math here we go this one is spotting a rat, plus saturday night fever, equals panic at the disco. Steve oh [ cheers and applause jimmy you understand this is math steve math [ cheers and applause jimmy and finally if you take stanley tucci, plus a jock strap, it equals the stanley cup. Thats what im talking about. Steve oh [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause jimmy guys, we have a great show tonight she stars in the new series, the widow on amazon prime video. Kate beckinsale is here tonight. [ cheers and applause its a good show plus, his show cobra kai is back for a Second Season on youtube premium. Ralph macchio is here. Cobra kai [ cheers and applause and since it is National Poetry month, were closing out the show with spoken word poet Rudy Francisco [ cheers and applause steve whoa jimmy stick around well be right back with more of the tonight show everybody. [text tone] [text tone] [text tone] nice mmmmmm so nice nice steady the e bow. Shoot me one . Hh boom shaka laka. Feistyso you can do more. Feels so good feels so good feels so good target run and done. 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It was funny because when we would call another insurance company, hey would say oh we cant beat usaa were the webber family. Were the tenneys were the hayles, and were usaa members for life. Get your usaa Auto Insurance quote today. [ cheers and applause jimmy welcome back, everybody. Were about to play a fun game called can you feel it . [ cheers and applause can you feel it jimmy tonight ill be facing off against a very worthy opponent. She stars in the new series the widow on amazon prime video. Please welcome the one and only Kate Beckinsale. [ cheers and applause im scared already. Jimmy i know, im scared no are you a little bit kind of scared. Jimmy all right, no, its going to be fun. Here is how it works were going to have a number of mystery objects brouou front of us and our job is to guess what each one is the catch is that we have to figure it out by touch alone just feeling. Jimmy you put yeah, just feeling. And im freaked out about this i am. Jimmy game already [ laughter ] all right, so since im the host, im going to go first. Excellent jimmy thats what it says on the card. Why . [ laughter ] oh, my gosh. All right, lets get the object why . Why . Can i look at what it is . Jimmy yeah, yeah you can look, yeah okay. Jimmy okay oh, okay. [ laughter ] jimmy all right. [ laughter ] okay, i dont know if youre if thats your poker face or what all right, ill have 30 seconds to identify what this is here we go [ laughter ] watch out there [ laughter ] jimmy its freaking me out it feels warm or something its warm, i dont like it whatever it is [ laughter ] it really grossing me out. This is so odd i cant even describe this im not looking at anyone. [ laughter ] oh, man, oh, man can i just put my right hand thats cheating you have to do both. Jimmy oh, gosh oh i hate this game so much [ laughter ] im going to freak out right now. All right. Im doing it here we go hey. [ cheers ] ah, ah, ah ah, ah, ah please please oh, my god [ laughter ] [ applause ] oh, oh, its marshmallow peeps yeah [ cheers and applause jimmy god, you guys are the worst you are all the worst people you were cringing. You were like oh, my god. The worst. My own audience turned on me oh, my god do not trust, especially her oh, my gosh. That one . Jimmy yes. Alright, i have my eye on you. Jimmy she was making a face like, eh, dont touch it. All right. [ laughter ] all right. Kate, you know we would never do anything wrong or rude to you. So you have 30 seconds [ audience oohs okay. Jimmy but no, the saying all right jimmy theyre not oohing that theyre excited about [ laughter ] we get to talk about your new show, the widow. Its going to be fun oh [ laughter ] okay. We have a deal about i cant touch vomit. Ill touch poop jimmy i would never do that really, i would never ever, ever, ever i would never do that. Im phobic about jimmy ah i dont like [ laughter ] i dont like poo but im phobic of vomit. And ill go home jimmy no, stop saying poo and vomit. Sorry [ laughter ] jimmy were not doing either were no, this is Network Television here we go but, you never know what it might be wait no poo [ laughter ] if i have to, ill do poo jimmy all right, yeah. But, vomit, im going home. [ laughter ] jimmy well, then well, then i think youll be youll be close on this one. Is it poo [ laughter ] they wouldnt do poo to me, would they [ laughter ] jimmy not quite. [ laughter ] is it going to bite me . [ laughter ] is it . Jimmy you know, im dabbing you right now. Im dabbing you right now. Im so excited just go for it stop it jimmy go for it. Come on oh, god jimmy oh, no [ cheers ] its sticky its sticky and wet. Its a poo its a huge poo. [ laughter ] is it . Jimmy no you can grab it. Oh, is this alive jimmy no oh, wait a minute is it a cinnamon roll . Jimmy yes [ cheers and applause i love that. How did you guess that way to fake me out. Jimmy this game i mean, it was good, right yeah oh, my god. Jimmy no, i would never do that ive aged quite a few years jimmy Kate Beckinsale, are you kidding me no, no, no my turn unfortunately, again ah all right. Here we go [ audience ohs ] [ cheers and applause come on get in therenow e audience is playing the gameandt remember how lovely peeps were remember how lovely peeps were jimmy ah, is it moving is it moving [ laughter and applause im freaking out, man come on, dude. Yeah. Jimmy oh, god. [ laughter ] freaking out right now all right. Oh, my gosh. I hate this game so much this is slightly less of an easter theme [ light laughter ] [ cheers ] oh, jimmy. [ cheers ] jimmy is it is it worms . Jimmy get that out of here [ laughter ] this is the worst game ever [ laughter ] that wasnt good jimmy everyone knows i dont like any of that stuff [ laughter ] this purells not enough oh, my god [ laughter ] oh, god jimmy not a big deal im fine with worms. Are you kidding me im like a total outdoorsman [ laughter ] all right, kate, youre up its cant be come on, its got be easier than that. Here we go yeah here we go ah ah [ audience oohs no no no. Jimmy oh oh, that lady in the mustard yellow has made me scared. [ laughter ] jimmy oh do i wish it was poo . Jimmy oh i wish it was poo [ laughter ] dont say that what god, you guys. [ laughter ] dont. Its so much scarier when its really you doing it. [ laughter ] [ audience screams ] oh, watch out. [ audience screams ] oh, its leathery. Was it the under belly of something . What is what is that . What is that [ audience screams ] [ ]oved jimmy ah, time is up i didnt know there was a a timer. I was over here all day. Jimmy there was a it was a giant frog [ laughter ] no. Was it really . Jimmy look at it yeah, hes cute. [ laughter ] oh, god [ fog horn ] oh, god. Jimmy what did you think it was . It was leathery. It was leathery i thought it was somethings under belly and it was jimmy it was [ laughter ] you were actually right. Oh, this is the last round thank goodness the final round. Im light headed. Jimmy for this one, were both going to [ gethughter ] at the same time . Oh [ laughter and applause i dont like [ indiscernible jimmy were going to get the same item. The first person to guess it, wins so we go in one side each jimmy yes. [ laughter ] ah [ cymbals crash jimmy i touched your hand. I know that [ laughter ] was it jimmys hand . Jimmy ah ah did you feel something . Jimmy it felt warm or something. Warm . Jimmy yes. [ laughter ] ah its alive. It alive [ laughter ] oh its a person. Its a man jimmy ah [ laughter ] is it a man jimmy what is it not a a person dont look is it a man . Is it my stepdad [ laughter ] oh, its moving around a lot [ laughter ] its a person. Its a person. Jimmy its a person. What is it a him . Who is that jimmy thats a foot. [ laughter ] oh, my god. [ cheers and applause jimmy get the wheres the purell now wheres the purell . Jimmy yes. [ laughter ] that was a foot whos foot was that . Jimmy i have no idea that was tom cruises foot [ laughter ] all right, thanks to Kate Beckinsale. Stick around [ cheers and applause were going to be talking with kate after the break you better come on back. [ cheers and applause pringles wavy. With a big crunch and totally different flavors, theyre not really pringles. Just like thats not really daddy. Yes it is. Ok. Pringles wavy. Theyre not, not pringles. This is you shopping. And this is you maximizing at t. J. Maxx. Get more of the brands you love and quality you want, and save every time. Its not shopping, its maximizing. Maxx life at t. J. Maxx. 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Thats how much youve damaged me [ laughter ] jimmy you were please let it jimmy looking forward to that no just let it be poo, at least its not moving. Jimmy i love having you here i like you being in new york city. I do. Jimmy because i always think of your movie serendipity aww jimmy with john cusack thats right, yeah. [ cheers and applause jimmy and you were fantastic in that. Thanks. Jimmy you just did something recently that i thought was very funny were you in toronto . Or no, were i was i was at the Toronto Film Festival and i hate to ruin it for everybody. But some of serendipity was not shot in new york so, first of all, it was august and we were pretending it was christmas and ice skating. And we were sweating so that im ruining the movie. Sorry. Making for the airport and leaving the festival i found myself in the elevator going, wait a second, ive been in this elevato