Impeachment trial and quoted the 1950s tv show dragnet to explain one of his points. Dragnet . [ light laughter ] oh my god, dude, are you afraid the glasses werent making you look old enough . [ laughter ] why dont you just put a bandaid on your face and be done with it [ laughter ] President Trump performed the coin flip before this weekends Army Navy Football game. Its the first recorded instance of trump intentionally letting go of money. [ laughter ] im going to need that back. [ laughter ] the House Judiciary Committee this morning published its full report on the impeachment inquiry, which describes President Trump as the Founding FathersWorst Nightmare though, from what i know about the Founding Fathers, they wouldnt have been too crazy about the last guy either. [ laughter and applause [ audience ohs ] just sayying things were different at the founding. [ laughter ] senator Elizabeth Warren is reportedly trying to boost her poll numbers by shortening her stump speech to 10 minutes and biden is trying to boost his by not talking at all. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause President Trump yesterday attacked House Speaker nancy pelosi, tweeting, quote, nancys teeth were falling out of her mouth and she didnt have time to think. And, hey, man, you may not like what he said but he can say whatever he wants because this is united shashes. [ laughter and applause [ cheers and applause seth congress is reportedly close to passing a bill that would raise the National Smoking age to 21. Said france, youre raising it 15 years . [ laughter and applause [ applause ] abc today announced the 30 women who will be competing on the Upcoming Season of the bachelor in case you wondered just how many ways there are to spell the name ashley. [ laughter ] and finally, rapper diddy held his 50th Birthday Party over the weekend. And it took a few tries to get the cake right [ laughter and applause ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight [ cheers and applause he represents californias 28th Congressional District and is the chairman of the House Intelligence Committee representative adam schiff is joining us tonight [ cheers and applause we have a lot to ask him about hes currently in his first season as a cast member on saturday night live, which returns this saturday with host eddie murphy and musical guest lizzo. Bowen yang is here, you guys [ cheers and applause im so excited to talk to bowen. And fresh off his grammy nominations for best country solo performance, well have music from Tyler Childers. [ cheers and applause hes fantastic youre going to love him before we get to our guests, as a new poll Shows Majority support for impeaching President Trump, republicans are doing everything they can to rig the senate trial in his favor. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause seth on friday, the House Judiciary Committee approved two articles of impeachment against trump, setting the stage for a vote of the full house this week and as cnn reported, trump is aggravated by the fact that hes about to become the third president in history to be impeached. We are hearing President Trump is growing increasingly aggravated over the likelihood that he will be impeached. A Trump Campaign adviser i spoke with earlier today told me simply, the coverage bugs him. Seth bugs him . [ light laughter ] i dont think bugs is ever the right word for trump hes never just bugged he only has two modes, blind rage or spaced out [ laughter and applause either screaming like he just ate a fistful of ghost peppers or [ light laughter ] looking straight down to the table like a eighth grader in detention. Trumps definitely more than bugged by the impeachment coverage i mean, look at him. When he gets angry, he looks like the love child of the hulk and an old bean bag chair full of farts [ laughter and applause also trump has made it pretty clear in his recent public statements that hes more than just bugged by impeachment, including at a rally last week and in the oval office on friday when he claimed the democrats had somehow been trying to impeach him since before he announced that he was running for president back in 2015 [ laughter ] they cant win on election day. So theyre pursuing an illegal, invalid, and unconstitutional bull [ bleep ] impeachment and then they announced there was no bias. No, you know what were doing . And its not easy. A regular president would have been under a table, thumb in the mouth, saying, take me home, mommy. This is too tough for me. I have to tell you, as bad as it is, it meant something when you had serious high crimes and misdemeanors the impeachment is a hoax. Its a sham. It started a long time ago probably before i came down the escalator with the future first lady seth all right, first of all, whats with all the slurring, man . Trumps going to be the first president to get pulled over for a sobriety test in the middle of one of his rallies [ laughter ] can you say the alphabet backwards . I cant say it forwards. [ laughter and applause second, dont say i came down the escalator like you were George Washington crossing the delaware [ laughter ] it wasnt noble or cool. You rode an escalator to announce your campaign for president like you were at a macys looking for mens underwear. [ laughter and applause im running for president also, where do you keep your dumpiest khakis . [ laughter ] third and most important, you think democrats were secretly plotting to impeach you before you announced that you were running for president . Howd that work . You think president obama, Hilary Clinton and nancy pelosi were all in a secret room together saying, okay, you know that famously dumb Game Show Host you know, the one who spends most of the time yelling at meatloaf well, hes about to ride an escalator down to announce his campaign so heres our plan to bring him down were going to win the popular vote by three million votes. But then well lose the electoral college, because, you know, its a dumb, antiquated system and then were going to wait three years until he calls the president of ukraine and ask him to dig up dirt on joe biden, who will announce that hes running for president. And also Rudy Giulianis going to go on tv and confess to everything thats the plan. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause that is our plan. Actually, you know, the last part right there is probably the only thing they could have predicted right there. [ light laughter ] this is just the world we live in now the president s a deranged, conspiratorial lunatic whos fundamentally untethered from reality. In fact, on friday, trump lied and claimed that his poll numbers have actually gone up since impeachment began. My poll numbers, as you know, have gone through the roof the polls have gone through the roof for trump because people, especially with independent voters, and especially in swing states i could show you numbers that nobodys ever seen numbers like this before. [ laughter ] seth what are you talking about . Were getting numbers no one has ever seen . [ laughter ] eleventeen, bleventeen. Something called a thricks [ laughter and applause thats the first thricks weve ever seen, you guys. [ laughter and applause but we know trump is lying, because polls have consistently shown that about half of americans want him at least impeached if not removed from office altogether. Even a new fox news poll over the weekend confirmed that and it was a poll that surprised even fox friends morning host, Brian Kilmeade who said this morning that he was stunned to see how high the number was in the latest fox news poll, 50 of registered voters think the president should be impeached and removed from office, up one point since october. Four percent think he should be impeached, but not removed from office and 41 do not think he should be impeached at all. The fox poll came out and i was stunned by this. It says 50 of the country want the president impeached. I was stunned to see that thats the number, because i thought that things were trending away seth you know why you thought that because you only listen to trump. And you only watch fox news. [ laughter ] youre like a guy who works at arbys who eats an actual burger for the first time and says, what . This burger doesnt taste like horse. [ laughter ] when kilmeade saw that poll, he was probably like, but i thought trumps Approval Rating was up to eleventy bleventeen thricks. Thats what i heard. [ laughter and applause so trump is clearly both been watching impeachment coverage and also getting enraged about it although hed love for us to believe hes not on friday, for example, he insisted he was working on other more important issues, like a supposed trade deal he keeps claiming hes negotiating with china. Mr. President , your reaction to the vote in the house judiciary this morning well, i was actually, believe it or not, finishing up the i was doing the final touches on the china deal seth i do not believe it [ laughter and applause also, if you do anything, its not the final touches. They maybe let you help out in the beginning a little bit so you have ownership you know, the way you let your toddler stir the frosting, but not put the cake in the oven so now that impeachment is almost certain to pass in the house, it will move to the senate for trial, where the senators themselves will act as jurors and republican senators, who will act as those jurors, are already on tv defending the president before the trial even begins for example, there was senator rand paul who kept insisting in a contentious interview with cnns jake tapper that trump was just worried about corruption in general. Even though several of trumps closest associates have been arrested and jailed. And paul just kept mindlessly repeating his talking points all of them have been convicted of federal crimes. You really think President Trump is concerned about rooting out corruption i think most of what you listed, and most of the people that were indicted or convicted, were alleged to have been part of some sort of huge russian conspiracy im asking about President Trump and corruption i just listed a number of Close Associates of President Trumps who are either in prison or facing sentencing right but i think its based on opinion. These are sentences its based on opinion on foreign aids these are criminal sentences. His opinion his i just wanted to know, do you really think President Trump is concerned about corruption just a yes or no is that something you really believe . Yes, i do think you do. I do think that ukraine i think ukraine has been one of the corruptest countries on earth. Thats not what i asked the western back all the governments of ukraine have been corrupt. Seth he just kept ignoring the question theres no way to break through with these guys. They just recite their preprogrammed lines. Anchors have to yell at them the way you yell at one of those Automated Customer Service agents hello . Thank you for calling verizon, how can i help you . Seth yeah, i want to cancel my service i heard i want to upgrade my service. Is that correct . Seth no no, no, i said i want to cancel. I heard please add a second phone line to my account. [ laughter ] is that correct . Seth no, i want to cancel. I heard i love verizon. Thank you, goodbye. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause seth the argument the argument that trump was just concerned about corruption in general is obviously absurd on its face in fact, as we speak, trumps lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, whos at the center of this whole scheme, is back in the u. S. From a trip to ukraine where he was still digging up dirt on trumps political rivals and the wall street journal reports that rudy is still reporting directly to trump. When he returned to new york last saturday, the president called him as his plane was still taxiing down the runway. What did you get . Trump asked. More than you can imagine, giuliani replied he was loudly committing crimes on the plane as soon as the plane landed [ light laughter ] at this point whenever rudy flies, the flight attendants are going to have to announce his miranda rights [ laughter ] you are now free to use your mobile devices and remember, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. [ light laughter ] not only are they continuing to cheat in the election as we speak, but theyre also trying to cheat in the trial about the cheating remember, the senate is supposed to be a fair and impartial jury. But both Senate Majority leader Mitch Mcconnell and Senate Judiciary chairman Lindsay Graham have said explicitly their only goal is to end the trial as quickly as possible, call zero witnesses, and take their marching orders directly from the president himself. I dont need any witnesses at all. Okay, and then in terms of i am ready to go. My goal is to end this as soon as possible. For the good of the country. I wasnt in any doubt at this point. Im not trying to pretend to be a fair juror here everything i do during this, im coordinating with white house counsel. There will be no difference between the president s position and our position as to how to handle this. Seth theyre supposed to be the jury, and theyre literally going on tv admitting theyre not going to be impartial. And theyre going to take their orders from the president. Only in the senate can you openly brag that youre not pretending to be a fair jury Lindsey Graham sounds like a dude who is just making stuff up to get out of jury duty. I cant serve on a jury my grandmas sick, and im her caretaker. And im cat sitting. And i live far away. And i dont speak english. And im biased against cops. [ laughter and applause this is the Republican Party of trump. A party that sees any challenge to its power as illegitimate, thats fine with cheating to win elections, and that rigs trials to avoid consequences for that cheating they dont care what they have to do to win, even if it involves cheating. And then defending that cheating by going on tv and spouting bull [ bleep ]. Seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause well be right back with representative adam schiff, everybody. [ cheers and applause makeawish child i got this for you. vo when you share the love, you change lives. Over twentytwo hundred wishes granted. 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[ laughter ] comedian, musician, writer, theres really nothing you cant do except i didnt realize this, you are also a connoisseur of art. Fred yeah, i love art. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] to a level i did not appreciate, because you were saying backstage, you have an art historians knowledge of every painting ever painted. Fred yeah, every single painting ever created. [ laughter ] seth and you can just i can show you a painting, and you can just share details that even art historians might not know. Fred i can go on and on, yeah [ laughter ] seth all right well lets put it to the test once again in our segment, fred armisen, art aficionado. [ cheers and applause seth ready this is raphaels 1512 painting sistine madonna. Fred, what can you tell us about this painting . Fred oh, yes theres a lot of story behind this you see the greens seth yeah. Fred and you know, you see the figures . So there are figures in it there are angelic figures at the bottom seth uhhuh. And there are other figures in the middle of the painting. And what raphael was trying to do is, at firs