Tonight, join jimmy and his guests Rosario Dawson logan lerman musical guest Megan Thee Stallion, and featuring the legendary roots crew questlove 1209 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy oh oh, my goodness, hi thats a hot crowd that is a hot crowd tonight [ cheers and applause welcome, everybody welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. [ cheers and applause youre here. You made it. Thank you. Guys, it seems like theres so much going on right now. The democratic primary is in full swing tomorrow is valentines day. [ cheers and applause what else . Samsung just introduced their new folding phone, i dont know if you saw that. And carls jr. Is rolling out its new thickburger. [ cheers ] that has an entire patty of fried cheese [ audience ohs ] theres a lot to go over lets just jump in and cover it all at once. Its time for newsmash. [ cheers and applause jimmy first up, the democratic primary right now, Bernie Sanders is riding high after his big win in New Hampshire it looks like voters are starting to fall in love, which is perfect, because its almost valentines day. Its the holiday when we celebrate romance, we exchange chocolates, flowers, and cute cards that open and close. Kind of like samsungs new folding phone. [ light laughter ] it bends like an oldschool flip phone when it opens, its flat but when its folded oh, she thick. [ laughter and applause [ cheers and applause carls jr. s new big fried cheese thickburger is now available. And you can mix and match it with any sides its all a bit much, and people might end up not wanting any of them its kind of like the democratic primary [ laughter ] joe bidens campaign is really struggling if he doesnt turn it around fast, he might have to fold. It [ laughter ] might seem like Old Technology but the new Samsung Phone costs 1,400 which is about how much money youll have to pay to get a reservation on valentines day. [ laughter ] it will all be worth it at the end of the night when you get up real close to that special someone. Unless, of course, one of you just ate a big fried cheese thickburger. [ laughter and applause you need some time to digest it has over 1,000 calories and some people are saying eating one is asking for trouble. Just like doing lastminute shopping at 7eleven for valentines day. Be careful if you dont get her the right gift, she will tell you to get bent [ laughter ] the screen measures 6. 7 inches, which is also the same height as Pete Buttigieg. [ laughter ] rising in the polls, hes currently placed at a rock solid number two [ laughter ] so in conclusion, good luck moving on. Good luck turning it on. Good luck getting down good luck keeping it down. [ cheers and applause thats right, you guys, tomorrow is valentines day. [ cheers ] and just a word of advice to any tourists in the audience, if you see a man on sixth avenue wearing a diaper and shooting arrows, thats not cupid. [ laughter ] thats right tomorrow is valentines day, and you can tell romance is in the air here in new york city. Earlier today i saw a hot dog vendor cutting his Health Code Violations into little hearts. It was really sweet. [ light laughter ] meanwhile tomorrow the temperatures here could be as low as 17 degrees. [ audience oohs thats fun, because when the mood is right, whats sexier than having to take off eight layers of clothes . [ laughter ] its like, hold on a second hold on, one moment. These are my overwear. These are my underwear and then my overwear. [ light laughter ] back in washington, not everyone is in a loving mood trump spent the morning attacking Mike Bloomberg on twitter and called him a mass of dead energy when he heard that, mike pence was like, hey, thats my nickname. [ laughter ] in response, bloomberg tweeted at trump and said, behind your back people are laughing at you. Trump called it fake news and spent the next hour trying to look behind his own back [ laughter ] whos laughing . I can hear laughing. [ laughter ] trump is actually in a lot of fights last night his former chief of staff john kelly spoke at an event and harshly criticized him. Trump then tweeted about kelly, saying, like so many exes, he misses the action. [ audience ohs ] ew then all of trumps exes were like, trust us, we dont miss the action. [ laughter ] some 2020 news theres another democratic debate next week in las vegas. Yep, Pete Buttigieg will spend the week prepping. While bernie and biden will spend three straight nights at the nickle slots [ cheers ] [ light laughter ] jackpot, 75 cents [ laughter ] and i saw that the chairman of the Iowa Democratic party resigned last night. He actually submitted his Resignation Letter in november were just only getting the results now. [ audience ohs ] [ cheers and applause thank you. This is crazy. Amazon founder jeff bezos just bought a house in california for 165 million [ cheers ] the house has everything, nine acres, two guest houses, a a ninehole golf course and best of all, a pretty sweet aboveground pool. [ light laughter ] and finally, this is going viral, a photo of two mice fighting on a subway platform just won a big photography award. Take a look at this. [ laughter ] the photo is so popular theyre going to turn it into a movie called Stuart Little fight club edition. [ laughter and applause we have a great show give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy we have a fun show tonight. Rosario dawson is here steve wow [ cheers and applause jimmy logan lerman is here i like that guy. [ cheers and applause put your money on that guy hes a great actor i like logan lerman. Hes going to be here. And then weve got great music from Megan Thee Stallion steve oh jimmy oh, my goodness [ cheers and applause we love Megan Thee Stallion. We love her little dog too guys, im very excited, the nhl season is in full swing. And ive really been meaning to brush up on my hockey skills so, the other day i went to an ice rink here in new york city to play some hockey. And i invited my Pal Justin Bieber along to give me some tips. Here, take a look. Jimmy hey, guys, im here with Justin Bieber and were going to play some hockey, or as they call it in canada hockey. [ laughter ] jimmy really yeah. Jimmy okay, lets do this. What do i need all of this stuff for . This is the dumbest thing. Imagine a puck, which is, like, really hard. You know what a puck is, right [ laughter ] buddy, you look at me so dumb. Jimmy whos your favorite hockey player . Probably Alexander Nordique jimmy hes cool. [ laughter ] i just made him up. Hes not really a player there you go youre all dressed up. You ready to go . Jimmy yeah actually, im not kidding, i have to go to the bathroom [ light laughter ] i really do. So youre going to push off with your right. And then push this way this way do you feel like youre getting it jimmy oh, yeah dont you feel like it [ light laughter ] no, i think im getting it i get it now like pizza, french fries pizza, french fries. No, thats skiing so thats that has nothing you keep going backwards. Jimmy i dont like this. Okay, so jimmy so weird so youre going to go red line stop blue line, stop. Red line, stop all the way down and all the way back go ahead go [ laughter ] red line yep, stop all right, come back to the blue line. [ laughter ] all right, stop. Yep. Then you go all the way down all the way down [ laughter ] stand up jimmy just pull me [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause woo you made it so, youre going to go in and out through the pylons you go outside, inside, outside, inside, outside you got this jimmy easy peasy here we go, dudes. Yo, dudes, whats up [ laughter ] all right, wait, i have an idea i have an idea okay. Jimmy can you just stand here for one second . Inside, outside. Inside, outside. Inside, outside. So, im going to show you how to do a simple backhand shot jimmy why dont we do backhand shots and backhanded compliments, okay . Sure, why not have you lost weight you look a lot better than the last time i seen you [ light laughter ] jimmy i really like your mustache i love that its not quite skeevy [ laughter ] all right, its shootout time. This is our goalie rob we have five pucks whoever gets the most in wins. We are going head to head, stick to stick dont say that. Jimmy head to head or stick to stick neither [ whistle [ buzzer ] jimmy here comes the irishman here we go all right . Ooh, ooh, ooh. Stay up, jimmy stay up and yeah oh, well [ whistle what you got, justin [ buzzer ] oh, my gosh rolling . Oh, we cut youre over there. Cut. God dang it, i still cant score good luck. Both oh [ whistle [ laughter ] jimmy thats going to haunt your dreams bab shark do do do do do d baby shark do do do do baby shark land shark [ whistle [ buzzer ] oh, my gosh oh oh, my god oh, my god, you are so good. O canad our home and native land true patriot lov in all of us command jimmy youre the best, Justin Bieber [ cheers and applause thats Justin Bieber steve you forget hes canadian jimmy hes unbelievable. Like, we didnt that wasnt like a, you know, like a putin thing where we just let him score. Steve right. [ laughter ] jimmy we actually stop in the goal i mean, dude, he is unbelievable, man. Like, i i couldnt and that was really me skating [ laughter ] totally different skates than when youre just, like, ice skating in a rink. These are like realdeal scary blades and stuff, yeah [ light laughter ] i was just awful that guy is so talented. Oh, my gosh. Anyways, his new album changes comes out at midnight tonight. Steve oh [ cheers and applause jimmy my thanks to Justin Bieber [ cheers and applause youre awesome, buddy. More tonight show after the break. Stick around, everyone [ cheers and applause weve all been here before. The conference room. The speaker phone. The missing files. Not in the room . Then youre not in the know. Well, this has been nice, but can we not . Microsoft teams invites everyone you work with, to work together. Be seen, be heard, be there when youre not. Share your files, and your opinion. And maybe even a happy little fruit guy. When youre ready to unleash the power of your team, open teams. Im the founder of the honey pot. My name is beatrice dixon. To have a retailer like target see you and believe in you, is everything. The reason why its so important for honey pot to do well is so the next black girl she could have a better opportunity. That means a lot to me. Grand now we have to deal withed us this. Rs. Climate change is an emergency. Thats why i wrote the nations most progressive climate law. And thats why im endorsing tom steyer. Because when big oil tried to stop our clean air laws, he led us to victory. Same with the keystone pipeline. When tom says we can save the world and do it together believe him. Im tom steyer and i approve this message. [ cheers and applause jimmy welcome back, everybody it is time for tonight show hashtags. Here we go [ cheers and applause Hashtag Hashtags jimmy hey, we do this thing every week where i send out a hashtag, and we ask you guys to respond to that topic and with valentines day coming, i thought id send out a hashtag called weddingfail where i asked you guys to tell us an embarrassing wedding story. Within minutes, the hashtag became the number three trending topic in the u. S. So, thank you [ cheers and applause number three in the whole u. S thank you for playing along. I love that you guys do that now i thought id share some of my favorite wedding fail responses from you guys. This first one is from c. J. Doran11 she says, one of our friends was dancing with a middleage friend of the family he tied his tie around her head when he pulled it off, her wig came off with it. [ laughter and applause this one is from hannahsavenok savenok. Hannah savenok steve hannah savenok [ laughter ] jimmy she says, my husband is not a drinker, but decided to do vodka shots with practically everyone at the wedding. He needed to be brought up to the hotel room on a luggage cart. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause steve oh, wow. Jimmy thats bad steve i got a lot of baggage, baby. Jimmy this one is from gabbybracho she says, the deejay played the wrong song for the couples first dance. Instead of the youtube track they asked for, he played i still havent found what im looking for. [ audience ohs ] [ applause ] no, he has they found what theyre looking for. Please shut this off. Oh, my god this is from clarasee91 she says, my black dressed ripped at a wedding, and i used a black sharpie to color in my thigh so, you couldnt tell. [ laughter and applause steve yeah now thats called thinking jimmy i have a feeling that you could still tell steve well [ laughter ] jimmy this ones from anniehowington. She said, our photographer photoshopped jesus into our wedding photo. [ laughter ] look at this [ laughter and applause i mean were religious, but not we didnt witness a a miracle. I mean, yeah steve can you believe this jimmy it was a great yeah and the wedding never ran out of wine. Steve no jimmy it was unbelievable. [ laughter ] this one is from etes97 she said, we requested a bus to transport the seniors in the family to the wedding venue. It showed up fully loaded with a stripper pole and disco lights. [ laughter and applause all right here we go [ air horn ] steve here comes alan [ cheers ] next up, metamucil [ laughter ] ensure [ light laughter ] jimmy aarp. [ air horn ] [ laughter ] cant think of another one steve i was looking over there. Jimmy yeah steve try it again try it again jimmy yeah do one more. Me steve yeah, you. Jimmy give it up for false teeth. [ air horn ] [ laughter ] no i do you have another one . I cant think of another steve another elderly product . Jimmy yeah steve ovaltine jimmy geritol is good. Steve give it up for geritol. Jimmy oh, geritols a good one. Steve geritols good jimmy put your hands together for geritol. [ air horn ] [ cheers and applause oh, the tennis balls are off the tennis balls are off steve here comes centrum silver, yeah. [ light laughter ] jimmy last one is from thebaziness he says, i tried to recreate the lift from dirty dancing. i cracked my wifes rib. [ audience ohs ] there you have it. Those are tonight show hashtags to check out more of our favorites, go to tonightshow. Com hashtags [ cheers and applause stick around well be right back with Rosario Dawson, everybody. Come on back [ cheers and applause could switching to geico really save you fifteen percent or more on Car Insurance . Do woodchucks chuck wood . Hey you dang woodchucks, quit chucking my wood geico. Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on Car Insurance. Woah is this the future . This is the present, future bill. Heres your order bills. No way yes way. Okay. We only come out at night we only come out at night i walk alone ill pretend to know the way we only come out at night we only come out at night suspense music Warning Siren theres no room go on without me woman nooooo i got room. Hop in go ill hold it off mondays, right . You guys go horn honking get in, bryan. Thanks, mom. Hey howdy hello again . Go wherever they need you. the allnew highlander. Toyota. Lets go places. Its so cheesy, youll need a pick up line to go with it. Like, did it hurt. When all that cheese fell from heaven and landed on you . Its not delivery. Its digiorno. Now with more cheese. Get to kohls its digiorno. For amazing gifts plus sweet savings with an extra 20 or 15 off plus take an extra 20 off fine and Silver Jewelry youll find great last minute valentines day gifts for everyone plus get kohls cash plus buy online, Free Store Pickup shop kohls and kohls dot com. [ cheers and applause jimmy our first guest is a a talented actress who produces and stars in the new usa series, briarpatch which airs thursdays at 10 00 p. M please welcome Rosario Dawson [ cheers and applause jimmy thank you so much for coming back to the show. You look gorgeous. Everything great thank you, yes. Everythings really well going well jimmy we were just talking about you maybe a couple months ago. cause we had a hashtag called worstfirstdate. And our very own questlove thats jimmy sent a tweet out and he said, had dinner with Rosario Dawson let mos def and his three bros crash the party. Mos casually ordered her a 500 birthday cake it wasnt her birthday six more people crashed. Bill was 1400 i didnt have 1400. Worst first date and last first date. [ laughter ] do you remember this this date was that a date questlove it was a dinner. It was a dinner no [ audience oohs jimmy whoa questlove wait a minute. Wait, why you trying to play me you what it is . Were so new well, im new york questlove it was a dinner. It was its a thing of like i fell like that at that moment jimmy wait, you totally backpedaled so fast. [ laughter ] [ fog horn ] [ talking over each other youre the one who said it was a date. Its like its the love jones kind of era where we hung out and maybe there was something there. But we were not explicit about it so it was hard to even know. Maybe . cause if its also if it was a date, there were like ten dudes on it. [ laughter ] i didnt know. Jimmy its like the bachelorette, yeah. Like, no jimmy hey, who do you give the rose to . I didnt even know. Jimmy did you get a rose questlove no, i got the bill jimmy yeah, you got the bill you didnt get a rose. You gave him the bill. Thats fantastic you know but we stayed friends. Jimmy okay, good, good, good, all right. So thats the most important part jimmy yeah, yeah youre blushing. I am blushing jimmy speaking of dating though [ laughter ] youre both blushing i love you so much. Jimmy speaking of dating, you are dating senator cory booker. Yeah, hes here hes in the green room [ cheers and applause jimmy how cool how fun is that . Yeah, its really fun jimmy thats pretty cool what is i know he dropped out of the race for president , but people were very excited that you could have been first lady theyd like first lady Rosario Dawson yeah, it definitely was strange when i endorsed him. cause then i always felt like i was promoting people to vote for him, but really for me you know [ laughter ] jimmy youre like, dude, i