Tonight, join jimmy and his guests seth meyers, Whitney Cummings musical guest puss n boots and featuring the legendar roots crew questlove 1219 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy oh, my goodness thank you very much, everybody welcome. [ cheers and applause thank you so much. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. Youre here youre watching. I appreciate it. Well, you guys, earlier today, Elizabeth Warren announced that she is dropping out of the president ial race. Yeah, after a lot of thought and reflection, warren realized she was overqualified for the job. [ laughter ] thats right, Elizabeth Warren suspended her campaign most democrats were pretty sad, while Mike Bloomberg threw a a party and got back in the race [ cheers and applause all right, i think its i think its safe now. No ones going to hit me oh, perfect. Honestly, i cant say i blame warren for dropping out. I mean, if there were ever a a time you want to stop shaking millions of hands, this might be it, you know what im saying [ laughter ] now that warren is out of the race, joe biden and Bernie Sanders are both trying to win her support thats right, two guys in their late 70s are fighting over a a woman. This doesnt sound like an election it sounds like an episode of the golden girls. [ laughter ] its like, but blanche, we have something. Yeah, this afternoon, bernie reached out to warren supporters and invited them to help his movement. And this could be the First Movement that bernie had help with that doesnt involve prunes [ laughter ] [ applause ] meanwhile, the head of the [ laughter ] meanwhile, ahead of michigans primary, joe biden was just endorsed by detroits top two newspapers yeah, biden and newspapers have something in common. They both cant believe theyre still around [ laughter ] but after a disappointing finish on super tuesday, Bernie Sanders says he needs more young voters. And keep in mind, if youre Bernie Sanders, pretty much every voter is a young voter [ laughter ] well, this is a nice thing last night, very amazing, Daredevil Nik Wallenda walked a tightrope the length of six football fields over an active volcano on live tv take a look at this. Jimmy yeah [ light laughter ] i dont know man, if i really get it is he attached to a wire or something . Steve let me see jimmy let me see that again. Can we see that again . [ light laughter ] steve wow. Jimmy wait, so if he falls steve he dangles jimmy he just dangles . [ laughter ] steve but no ones going to go get him jimmy i its a different steve no ones going to go get him. Jimmy maybe someones got to get [ laughter ] oh, he just cooks there . Steve yeah, he just cooks there. Jimmy he just cooks oh, no [ laughter ] steve set it and forget it [ laughter ] jimmy really oh, i apologize. Thats really sorry, i didnt know that was a thing i didnt watch the show. Oh, thats awful [ light laughter ] anyway, there was one part in the middle that really made me a little nervous for him take a look. [ phone ringing [ laughter ] jimmy check this out, i saw that russia is opening its own version of disneyland called dream island steve oh jimmy it costs over a billion dollars to build and people in russia are really excited. Check out this ad that theyre running for it hello, russia are you looking for fun . [ laughter ] then come visit amazing and beautiful dream island we have everything for whole family like giant talking mouse that escaped from chernobyl, highspeed roller coaster and carousel you go on with shirtless Vladimir Putin [ laughter ] and dont forget to introduce little ones to princess dream island, open all summer long from july 12th to july 13th. Jimmy that looks good. That looks good. [ cheers and applause some business news, i read that people are buying peloton exercise bikes so they can work out if theyre quarantined steve oh jimmy you know your Business Model is off when the best thing for them is the coronavirus and the worse thing is christmas [ laughter ] after closing because of the coronavirus, the louvre just reopened steve oh jimmy when she heard that, the mona lisa was like [ laughter ] i saw that titos vodka has spent the last 24 hours titos vodka has spent the last 24 hours explaining to customers that its vodka cannot be used as hand sanitizer. [ laughter and applause oh, my Goodness Gracious wow. Steve what a world jimmy but according to Elizabeth Warren, this morning, it made for a pretty decent breakfast. Steve oh [ laughter ] jimmy this is crazy. I read about a therapy dog in vermont who was just elected mayor. The dog is already so stressed out from the job, he just got a therapy human. [ laughter ] and finally, a woman in oregon filed a lawsuit after her hair got caught in a ticket counting machine at chuck e. Cheese [ laughter ] its a serious lawsuit if the woman wins, she can be entitled to everything off the back wall. [ laughter ] [ applause ] we have a great show give it give it up for the roots right there, everybody [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy we have a really fun show tonight a very, very funny show tonight. The one and only seth meyers is here steve come on. [ cheers and applause jimmy we love seth also, one of my favorites, Whitney Cummings is here steve oh [ cheers and applause jimmy super funny. And we have great, great music from puss n boots, everybody steve oh jimmy there you go [ cheers and applause are you fist bumping steve i guess, yeah. Jimmy that or elbowing steve maybe elbowing i dont like it. Jimmy i dont know, man. I think i figured out a new thing. Steve what do you think youre going to do jimmy well, this is a bit aggressive, right . Steve right. Jimmy fist it means violence to me steve right. The fists this is violence jimmy Something Like that, like, hitting fist to fist steve right. Jimmy its like, you know what, its too much for me. Its like sparring steve right. Jimmy elbows to elbows its like steve like when i do it. Jimmy the chicken dance or something. I dont know what im doing. [ laughter ] i have a new thing steve what are you thinking about doing. Wrist to wrist. Steve ooh. Jimmy look at this guess what it looks like steve nice jimmy a heart. [ laughter ] [ audience aws ] [ laughter ] steve like shazam . What does it look like what did you say jimmy it looks like a heart. Doesnt it steve what kind of heart jimmy and you got to steve oh, there we go. There you go maybe jimmy you go to do the proportions have to be perfect steve right. Tariq no, no jimmy but tariq, whats up man . Let me just try. Me and tariq hanging out jimmy hey, how are you doing, man tariq hey, whats up jimmy nice to see you, man tariq cool jimmy thats stupid. [ laughter ] [ applause ] tariq no jimmy funny, man tariq no, thanks jimmy thats it. Thats it right there. The new thing, wrist to wrist. Whats that . Steve you want to spray your wrist jimmy yeah, can you please no, not there. Im telling you, man its going to take off tariq nope jimmy love [ laughter ] steve love jimmy love, wrist to wrist steve wrist to wrist jimmy this is too much well, we could do this people are kicking feet, right steve yeah tariq yeah, we did that yesterday. Yeah jimmy yeah steve how about a head nod wink jimmy yeah but [ light laughter ] that little noise you made feels like spiddle just come out. [ light laughter ] steve how about it a a sneeze jimmy oh, that steve more power to you. Jimmy i feel like i feel like this doesnt feel like me though [ laughter ] steve what about jimmy i cant go and go like that. Steve thumbs to guns what about that . You go like this hey, right [ laughter ] its like fonzie you know what im saying hey. Jimmy guns are violent steve guns are violent, you are right. Jimmy theyre violence to me i dont like im anti even fake guns steve how about pinky bump jimmy oh, that feels weird steve that is weird. [ light laughter ] whole towns weird, man. Jimmy pinky bump steve pinky bump jimmy thats too weird i think steve tip, pinky tip jimmy you can do that . Steve yeah, just hang loose. Jimmy sure, thats done. Thats surfers steve been done. Jimmy surfers will get mad dont take our thing, bro. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause [ ding ] dude, its steve its going to take off. Jimmy this is bizarre times. Steve yeah jimmy this is totally bizarre. The outbreak everybody is freaking out. People are staying home from work steve yep. Im singing happy birthday eight times while i wash my hands. [ laughter ] im trying not to touch my face and thats the hardest thing, touching your face but i thought i was doing a good job, but last night, my producers told me that i kept touching my face throughout the whole show and so, this is take a look at this is all from last night jimmy some local news [ ding ] [ laughter ] and the people [ ding ] of south carolina, dont get [ ding ] fooled [ ding ] [ ding ] [ dinging steve wow [ applause ] [ laughter ] jimmy its hard not to touch your face. So tonight, im going to be extra careful. Steve right. Jimmy and to help, every time i touch my face, a buzzer will sound reminding me not to do it. Can we hear the buzzer [ buzzer ] there you go and maybe its attracted its attached to an electrode thats attached to [ laughter ] my nether regions. Steve dont touch those either jimmy yeah, so if i go [ buzzer ] all right. Steve Like Operation jimmy so were going to keep track for the whole show tonight. Im not going to keep track for the whole show we have guests coming on that would be distracting. Cant you just do it for the first act . Steve yeah jimmy first then zap me i dont think ill touch my face i have selfcontrol. Steve really jimmy yeah steve oh, heart. [ laughter ] jimmy it should be over the heart too. Steve oh, nice, but whose heart, yours or theirs jimmy it depends how giving you are. [ laughter ] so maybe with some positive reinforcement, we can all stay Healthy Together steve yeah [ cheers and applause jimmy i dont know what were doing. All right, it is time for tonight show hashtags, everybody. Here we go [ cheers and applause jimmy hey [ cheers and applause you know, we do this thing every week where i send out a hashtag and we ask you guys to respond to that topic with spring break approaching, i thought it would be fun to try springbreakinsixwords steve oh jimmy to sum it up in six words. For example, i sent out a tweet that said, put it on my tuition tab. [ laughter ] within minutes, the hashtag became a trending topic in the u. S. So thank you for playing along [ cheers and applause now i thought i would share some of my favorite springbreakinsixwords responses from you guys. This first one is from sophiardicapua. She says, ten college kids, one motel room. Hey, ive been there [ laughter ] i got the bathtub. [ light laughter ] this one is from michelle06172431. That rolls off the tongue there. [ laughter ] [ buzzer ] no, i steve hey. [ laughter ] jimmy i didnt do it, but i really want to do it can i do this . Steve yeah, im doing this to itch my nose. Jimmy yeah that buzzer came a little too quick. Steve yeah [ laughter ] guess what, theyre on it. Jimmy bumming me out steve yeah jimmy i think they have something against me steve well, they want you to be healthy. Jimmy this is from michelle06172431. She says, how did sand get in there. All right. [ laughter ] steve what jimmy we know we know how it got in there. This one is from at clearwaters steve nice jimmy they say, down for a vacation, leaving on probation. Hey, thats [ laughter ] better than jail this one is from chickatie. Steve oh, shes chic say chic. Jimmy she says, please dont tag me on facebook. There you go [ laughter ] smart, thats a smart thing. This one is from roninthekey. He says, how i learned about credit scores. Well, there you go, yeah this one is from df wheat steve dfwheat jimmy dfwheat steve dfwheat jimmy dfwheat did you ever meet anyone with the last name wheat . Steve no, never. Wheat. [ light laughter ] jimmy i would say thats the russian bot. Steve yeah, thats probably the bot. [ light laughter ] cause theyll fool you. Jimmy i mean, i know buck. Steve buck wheat jimmy yeah, buck wheat is the only person i know with the last name wheat. Steve yeah, thats it. Jimmy yeah oh, cream of steve cream of, did you say . Jimmy yeah cream of wheat [ light laughter ] steve hi, this is my friend cream of thats a russian name, creamof [ laughter ] my name is creamof jimmy creamof. Steve creamof wheat. Jimmy no, yeah [ laughter ] she says, coronavirus isnt the only contagious thing oh, boy. [ audience ohs ] steve hello fist bump. Jimmy this one is from alicenwonderland. She says, in nine months later, you arrived. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] thats it. Last one is from matthewtsang he says, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots [ cheers and applause there you have it. Those are the tonight show hashtags. To check out more of our favorites, go to tonightshow. Com hashtags stick around we will be right back with seth meyers [ cheers and applause dont get mad. Get e trade, dawg. Thats all coffee, right . Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee all right, all right already heres your coffee. No decaf why wouldnt we expect our deodorant to dry in an instant . New degree advanced protection dry spray goes on instantly dry, for a cleaner feel. 72 hour protection in an instant. Everyone said i was crazy. When i started this commute, 72 hour protection so fifteen years ago, i got my first subaru and i did it anyway. For more than five hundred thousand miles, my outback always got me there. So when it was time, of course i got a new one. Because my kids still need me. And i need them. vo welcome to the allnew subaru outback. The most reliable outback ever. Go where love takes you. Doesnt mean you got to spend a lot because dennys brought back the super slam™. With eggs, hash browns, bacon, sausage and pancakes. All for just 6. 99. The 6. 99 super slam™ is back see you at dennys wherever we want to go, we just have to start. Autosave your way there with chase. Chase. Make more of whats yours. [ cheers and applause jimmy our first guest is the host of the emmy nominated talk show, late night with seth meyers, which airs weeknights at 12 35 a. M. , right here on nbc. Right after us were his leadin. We love this guy ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, seth meyers [ cheers and applause thats what im talking about. Oh, thank you thank you, everybody thank you jimmy seth, we love you. I think it worked jimmy it worked pretty well you had to wait a little bit you have to wait a little bit, but you should be able to wait for friendship. [ light laughter ] jimmy right. Yeah. Hey, so i know youre not supposed to touch your face and im not supposed to touch my face jimmy thats correct the thing i cant the cdc guidelines have not made am i can we touch each others faces . [ laughter ] jimmy oh, thats an interesting thing. Yeah, so like, when i want to think jimmy oh, i should be like i should do like this yeah [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah yeah, we can do that so, if at any point during tonights interview it seems like im being thoughtful, i invite you to jimmy i will be cause i think thats totally safe jimmy thats totally safe. Right . Yeah. Jimmy we agree with that [ light laughter ] alright, lets check someones calling the cdc right now. Theyre going to call the cdc right now . Jimmy yeah we have their okay. Jimmy we have their home number perfect. Hows the family doing hows the kids theyre great jimmy how old are the kids now . Theyre coming up on two and four jimmy wow. So much fun to be around. Jimmy still little babies, though, still cute still little kids we just took them on a big trip jimmy oh, where . Yeah, we went to uruguay. Yeah jimmy that really is you know, cause thats like the new disney world [ laughter ] jimmy uruguay . Yeah, my wife said we should go to uruguay, i hear its beautiful. And so i said, sure. And then and the plan was, she sold it to me like this, you fly to miami from new york and then you get on a flight to uruguay that leaves at 10 00 at night and gets there at 10 00 in the morning so theres no jet lag. It basically goes straight down, right . Jimmy okay so, she was like, the kids will sleep all night it will be easier way easier than you think it is. So, im like, great. Then we fly from new york to miami, and once we board the flight to new york, we get an alert that your flight from miami to uruguay has been delayed 12 hours [ laughter ] which is the next day. Which is not a delay thats ive been rescheduled. That is not jimmy that is not yeah. Yeah, thats not a delay if you were in your Doctors Office and the doctor was like, im going to be a little delayed, so just wait here till tomorrow [ laughter ] jimmy no, thats a a rescheduling, yeah yeah. So, we land in miami we have to take a shuttle bus to an Airport Hotel. And the bummer, the burn is, were like, were piling out everybodys in a terrible mood and we get off the shuttle bus and its just this sort of nondescript Airport Hotel and we walk in and my son goes, daddy, its beautiful. [ laughter ] and im like, why are we going to uruguay . Jimmy going to uruguay we could just go to see he loves this jimmy he loves this. [ laughter ] yeah. Im going to show him the ice machine, hes going to lose his mind [ laughter ] jimmy oh my. And then, we had called ahead and said, look, we need two cribs. Jimmy yeah and they said, absolutely we can guarantee the cribs but we cant set them up until you get here. Cause, you know, it was like 11 00 at night you know, our kids are never up that late. So we said, can you please have them set up because we want to come in. And they said, its not our policy and i wonder why they wont do it do they need to see the kids [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah, like, we had a a bigger one for that kid. And a little one yeah. Jimmy yeah or i was like, do they think were like some weird crib fetish people that just [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, we want to see your kids first before we give you a kids crib we dont want to just let you guys mess around in cribs. Jimmy put some stuff on the internet, yeah yeah. [ light laughter ] so we got a couple cribs, and were like slap happy at this point. You know, everythings gone wrong. Jimmy yeah, you think you got it all figured out you never do, right . Yeah, and then they brought one crib and i said, its two. And the guys said, oh, we only heard one. And i said, we definitely said, two. and then he definitely broke protocol, he said, i was supposed to say that the reality is were out of cribs. [ audience ohs ] and he goes, there are too many people here who needs cribs. And im like, oh, now all of a a sudden i understand their policy to see the kids first jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah, because they want to just te you while yo