Tonight, join jimmy and his guests seth meyers, Whitney Cummings musical guest puss n boots and featuring the legendar roots crew questlove 1219 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy oh, my goodness thank you very much, everybody welcome. [ cheers and applause thank you so much. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. Youre here youre watching. I appreciate it. Well, you guys, earlier today, Elizabeth Warren announced that she is dropping out of the president ial race. Yeah, after a lot of thought and reflection, warren realized she was overqualified for the job. [ laughter ] thats right, Elizabeth Warren suspended her campaign most democrats were pretty sad, while Mike Bloomberg threw a a party and got back in the race [ cheers and applause all right, i think its i think its safe now. No ones going to hit me oh, perfect. Honestly, i cant say i blame warren for dropping out. I mean, if there were ever a a time you want to stop shaking millions of hands, this might be it, you know what im saying [ laughter ] now that warren is out of the race, joe biden and Bernie Sanders are both trying to win her support thats right, two guys in their late 70s are fighting over a a woman. This doesnt sound like an election it sounds like an episode of the golden girls. [ laughter ] its like, but blanche, we have something. Yeah, this afternoon, bernie reached out to warren supporters and invited them to help his movement. And this could be the First Movement that bernie had help with that doesnt involve prunes [ laughter ] [ applause ] meanwhile, the head of the [ laughter ] meanwhile, ahead of michigans primary, joe biden was just endorsed by detroits top two newspapers yeah, biden and newspapers have something in common. They both cant believe theyre still around [ laughter ] but after a disappointing finish on super tuesday, Bernie Sanders says he needs more young voters. And keep in mind, if youre Bernie Sanders, pretty much every voter is a young voter [ laughter ] well, this is a nice thing last night, very amazing, Daredevil Nik Wallenda walked a tightrope the length of six football fields over an active volcano on live tv take a look at this. Jimmy yeah [ light laughter ] i dont know man, if i really get it is he attached to a wire or something . Steve let me see jimmy let me see that again. Can we see that again . [ light laughter ] steve wow. Jimmy wait, so if he falls steve he dangles jimmy he just dangles . [ laughter ] steve but no ones going to go get him jimmy i its a different steve no ones going to go get him. Jimmy maybe someones got to get [ laughter ] oh, he just cooks there . Steve yeah, he just cooks there. Jimmy he just cooks oh, no [ laughter ] steve set it and forget it [ laughter ] jimmy really oh, i apologize. Thats really sorry, i didnt know that was a thing i didnt watch the show. Oh, thats awful [ light laughter ] anyway, there was one part in the middle that really made me a little nervous for him take a look. [ phone ringing [ laughter ] jimmy check this out, i saw that russia is opening its own version of disneyland called dream island steve oh jimmy it costs over a billion dollars to build and people in russia are really excited. Check out this ad that theyre running for it hello, russia are you looking for fun . [ laughter ] then come visit amazing and beautiful dream island we have everything for whole family like giant talking mouse that escaped from chernobyl, highspeed roller coaster and carousel you go on with shirtless Vladimir Putin [ laughter ] and dont forget to introduce little ones to princess dream island, open all summer long from july 12th to july 13th. Jimmy that looks good. That looks good. [ cheers and applause some business news, i read that people are buying peloton exercise bikes so they can work out if theyre quarantined steve oh jimmy you know your Business Model is off when the best thing for them is the coronavirus and the worse thing is christmas [ laughter ] after closing because of the coronavirus, the louvre just reopened steve oh jimmy when she heard that, the mona lisa was like [ laughter ] i saw that titos vodka has spent the last 24 hours titos vodka has spent the last 24 hours explaining to customers that its vodka cannot be used as hand sanitizer. [ laughter and applause oh, my Goodness Gracious wow. Steve what a world jimmy but according to Elizabeth Warren, this morning, it made for a pretty decent breakfast. Steve oh [ laughter ] jimmy this is crazy. I read about a therapy dog in vermont who was just elected mayor. The dog is already so stressed out from the job, he just got a therapy human. [ laughter ] and finally, a woman in oregon filed a lawsuit after her hair got caught in a ticket counting machine at chuck e. Cheese [ laughter ] its a serious lawsuit if the woman wins, she can be entitled to everything off the back wall. [ laughter ] [ applause ] we have a great show give it give it up for the roots right there, everybody [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy we have a really fun show tonight a very, very funny show tonight. The one and only seth meyers is here steve come on. [ cheers and applause jimmy we love seth also, one of my favorites, Whitney Cummings is here steve oh [ cheers and applause jimmy super funny. And we have great, great music from puss n boots, everybody steve oh jimmy there you go [ cheers and applause are you fist bumping steve i guess, yeah. Jimmy that or elbowing steve maybe elbowing i dont like it. Jimmy i dont know, man. I think i figured out a new thing. Steve what do you think youre going to do jimmy well, this is a bit aggressive, right . Steve right. Jimmy fist it means violence to me steve right. The fists this is violence jimmy Something Like that, like, hitting fist to fist steve right. Jimmy its like, you know what, its too much for me. Its like sparring steve right. Jimmy elbows to elbows its like steve like when i do it. Jimmy the chicken dance or something. I dont know what im doing. [ laughter ] i have a new thing steve what are you thinking about doing. Wrist to wrist. Steve ooh. Jimmy look at this guess what it looks like steve nice jimmy a heart. [ laughter ] [ audience aws ] [ laughter ] steve like shazam . What does it look like what did you say jimmy it looks like a heart. Doesnt it steve what kind of heart jimmy and you got to steve oh, there we go. There you go maybe jimmy you go to do the proportions have to be perfect steve right. Tariq no, no jimmy but tariq, whats up man . Let me just try. Me and tariq hanging out jimmy hey, how are you doing, man tariq hey, whats up jimmy nice to see you, man tariq cool jimmy thats stupid. [ laughter ] [ applause ] tariq no jimmy funny, man tariq no, thanks jimmy thats it. Thats it right there. The new thing, wrist to wrist. Whats that . Steve you want to spray your wrist jimmy yeah, can you please no, not there. Im telling you, man its going to take off tariq nope jimmy love [ laughter ] steve love jimmy love, wrist to wrist steve wrist to wrist jimmy this is too much well, we could do this people are kicking feet, right steve yeah tariq yeah, we did that yesterday. Yeah jimmy yeah steve how about a head nod wink jimmy yeah but [ light laughter ] that little noise you made feels like spiddle just come out. [ light laughter ] steve how about it a a sneeze jimmy oh, that steve more power to you. Jimmy i feel like i feel like this doesnt feel like me though [ laughter ] steve what about jimmy i cant go and go like that. Steve thumbs to guns what about that . You go like this hey, right [ laughter ] its like fonzie you know what im saying hey. Jimmy guns are violent steve guns are violent, you are right. Jimmy theyre violence to me i dont like im anti even fake guns steve how about pinky bump jimmy oh, that feels weird steve that is weird. [ light laughter ] whole towns weird, man. Jimmy pinky bump steve pinky bump jimmy thats too weird i think steve tip, pinky tip jimmy you can do that . Steve yeah, just hang loose. Jimmy sure, thats done. Thats surfers steve been done. Jimmy surfers will get mad dont take our thing, bro. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause [ ding ] dude, its steve its going to take off. Jimmy this is bizarre times. Steve yeah jimmy this is totally bizarre. The outbreak everybody is freaking out. People are staying home from work steve yep. Im singing happy birthday eight times while i wash my hands. [ laughter ] im trying not to touch my face and thats the hardest thing, touching your face but i thought i was doing a good job, but last night, my producers told me that i kept touching my face throughout the whole show and so, this is take a look at this is all from last night jimmy some local news [ ding ] [ laughter ] and the people [ ding ] of south carolina, dont get [ ding ] fooled [ ding ] [ ding ] [ dinging steve wow [ applause ] [ laughter ] jimmy its hard not to touch your face. So tonight, im going to be extra careful. Steve right. Jimmy and to help, every time i touch my face, a buzzer will sound reminding me not to do it. Can we hear the buzzer [ buzzer ] there you go and maybe its attracted its attached to an electrode thats attached to [ laughter ] my nether regions. Steve dont touch those either jimmy yeah, so if i go [ buzzer ] all right. Steve Like Operation jimmy so were going to keep track for the whole show tonight. Im not going to keep track for the whole show we have guests coming on that would be distracting. Cant you just do it for the first act . Steve yeah jimmy first then zap me i dont think ill touch my face i have selfcontrol. Steve really jimmy yeah steve oh, heart. [ laughter ] jimmy it should be over the heart too. Steve oh, nice, but whose heart, yours or theirs jimmy it depends how giving you are. [ laughter ] so maybe with some positive reinforcement, we can all stay Healthy Together steve yeah [ cheers and applause jimmy i dont know what were doing. All right, it is time for tonight show hashtags, everybody. Here we go [ cheers and applause jimmy hey [ cheers and applause you know, we do this thing every week where i send out a hashtag and we ask you guys to respond to that topic with spring break approaching, i thought it would be fun to try springbreakinsixwords steve oh jimmy to sum it up in six words. For example, i sent out a tweet that said, put it on my tuition tab. [ laughter ] within minutes, the hashtag became a trending topic in the u. S. So thank you for playing along [ cheers and applause now i thought i would share some of my favorite springbreakinsixwords responses from you guys. This first one is from sophiardicapua. She says, ten college kids, one motel room. Hey, ive been there [ laughter ] i got the bathtub. [ light laughter ] this one is from michelle06172431. That rolls off the tongue there. [ laughter ] [ buzzer ] no, i steve hey. [ laughter ] jimmy i didnt do it, but i really want to do it can i do this . Steve yeah, im doing this to itch my nose. Jimmy yeah that buzzer came a little too quick. Steve yeah [ laughter ] guess what, theyre on it. Jimmy bumming me out steve yeah jimmy i think they have something against me steve well, they want you to be healthy. Jimmy this is from michelle06172431. She says, how did sand get in there. All right. [ laughter ] steve what jimmy we know we know how it got in there. This one is from at clearwaters steve nice jimmy they say, down for a vacation, leaving on probation. Hey, thats [ laughter ] better than jail this one is from chickatie. Steve oh, shes chic say chic. Jimmy she says, please dont tag me on facebook. There you go [ laughter ] smart, thats a smart thing. This one is from roninthekey. He says, how i learned about credit scores. Well, there you go, yeah this one is from df wheat steve dfwheat jimmy dfwheat steve dfwheat jimmy dfwheat did you ever meet anyone with the last name wheat . Steve no, never. Wheat. [ light laughter ] jimmy i would say thats the russian bot. Steve yeah, thats probably the bot. [ light laughter ] cause theyll fool you. Jimmy i mean, i know buck. Steve buck wheat jimmy yeah, buck wheat is the only person i know with the last name wheat. Steve yeah, thats it. Jimmy yeah oh, cream of steve cream of, did you say . Jimmy yeah cream of wheat [ light laughter ] steve hi, this is my friend cream of thats a russian name, creamof [ laughter ] my name is creamof jimmy creamof. Steve creamof wheat. Jimmy no, yeah [ laughter ] she says, coronavirus isnt the only contagious thing oh, boy. [ audience ohs ] steve hello fist bump. Jimmy this one is from alicenwonderland. She says, in nine months later, you arrived. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] thats it. Last one is from matthewtsang he says, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots [ cheers and applause there you have it. Those are the tonight show hashtags. To check out more of our favorites, go to tonightshow. Com hashtags stick around we will be right back with seth meyers [ cheers and applause dont get mad. Get e trade, dawg. Thats all coffee, right . Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee all right, all right already heres your coffee. No decaf why wouldnt we expect our deodorant to dry in an instant . New degree advanced protection dry spray goes on instantly dry, for a cleaner feel. 72 hour protection in an instant. Everyone said i was crazy. When i started this commute, 72 hour protection so fifteen years ago, i got my first subaru and i did it anyway. For more than five hundred thousand miles, my outback always got me there. So when it was time, of course i got a new one. Because my kids still need me. And i need them. vo welcome to the allnew subaru outback. The most reliable outback ever. Go where love takes you. Doesnt mean you got to spend a lot because dennys brought back the super slam™. With eggs, hash browns, bacon, sausage and pancakes. All for just 6. 99. The 6. 99 super slam™ is back see you at dennys wherever we want to go, we just have to start. Autosave your way there with chase. Chase. Make more of whats yours. [ cheers and applause jimmy our first guest is the host of the emmy nominated talk show, late night with seth meyers, which airs weeknights at 12 35 a. M. , right here on nbc. Right after us were his leadin. We love this guy ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, seth meyers [ cheers and applause thats what im talking about. Oh, thank you thank you, everybody thank you jimmy seth, we love you. I think it worked jimmy it worked pretty well you had to wait a little bit you have to wait a little bit, but you should be able to wait for friendship. [ light laughter ] jimmy right. Yeah. Hey, so i know youre not supposed to touch your face and im not supposed to touch my face jimmy thats correct the thing i cant the cdc guidelines have not made am i can we touch each others faces . [ laughter ] jimmy oh, thats an interesting thing. Yeah, so like, when i want to think jimmy oh, i should be like i should do like this yeah [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah yeah, we can do that so, if at any point during tonights interview it seems like im being thoughtful, i invite you to jimmy i will be cause i think thats totally safe jimmy thats totally safe. Right . Yeah. Jimmy we agree with that [ light laughter ] alright, lets check someones calling the cdc right now. Theyre going to call the cdc right now . Jimmy yeah we have their okay. Jimmy we have their home number perfect. Hows the family doing hows the kids theyre great jimmy how old are the kids now . Theyre coming up on two and four jimmy wow. So much fun to be around. Jimmy still little babies, though, still cute still little kids we just took them on a big trip jimmy oh, where . Yeah, we went to uruguay. Yeah jimmy that really is you know, cause thats like the new disney world [ laughter ] jimmy uruguay . Yeah, my wife said we should go to uruguay, i hear its beautiful. And so i said, sure. And then and the plan was, she sold it to me like this, you fly to miami from new york and then you get on a flight to uruguay that leaves at 10 00 at night and gets there at 10 00 in the morning so theres no jet lag. It basically goes straight down, right . Jimmy okay so, she was like, the kids will sleep all night it will be easier way easier than you think it is. So, im like, great. Then we fly from new york to miami, and once we board the flight to new york, we get an alert that your flight from miami to uruguay has been delayed 12 hours [ laughter ] which is the next day. Which is not a delay thats ive been rescheduled. That is not jimmy that is not yeah. Yeah, thats not a delay if you were in your Doctors Office and the doctor was like, im going to be a little delayed, so just wait here till tomorrow [ laughter ] jimmy no, thats a a rescheduling, yeah yeah. So, we land in miami we have to take a shuttle bus to an Airport Hotel. And the bummer, the burn is, were like, were piling out everybodys in a terrible mood and we get off the shuttle bus and its just this sort of nondescript Airport Hotel and we walk in and my son goes, daddy, its beautiful. [ laughter ] and im like, why are we going to uruguay . Jimmy going to uruguay we could just go to see he loves this jimmy he loves this. [ laughter ] yeah. Im going to show him the ice machine, hes going to lose his mind [ laughter ] jimmy oh my. And then, we had called ahead and said, look, we need two cribs. Jimmy yeah and they said, absolutely we can guarantee the cribs but we cant set them up until you get here. Cause, you know, it was like 11 00 at night you know, our kids are never up that late. So we said, can you please have them set up because we want to come in. And they said, its not our policy and i wonder why they wont do it do they need to see the kids [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah, like, we had a a bigger one for that kid. And a little one yeah. Jimmy yeah or i was like, do they think were like some weird crib fetish people that just [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, we want to see your kids first before we give you a kids crib we dont want to just let you guys mess around in cribs. Jimmy put some stuff on the internet, yeah yeah. [ light laughter ] so we got a couple cribs, and were like slap happy at this point. You know, everythings gone wrong. Jimmy yeah, you think you got it all figured out you never do, right . Yeah, and then they brought one crib and i said, its two. And the guys said, oh, we only heard one. And i said, we definitely said, two. and then he definitely broke protocol, he said, i was supposed to say that the reality is were out of cribs. [ audience ohs ] and he goes, there are too many people here who needs cribs. And im like, oh, now all of a a sudden i understand their policy to see the kids first jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah, because they want to just te you while youre already there in the room. Youre like, unpacked. And so then we said to our older so they were like, we think its going to be a full 45 minutes to get another crib we have to go to another hotel and our little one just crawled id never seen him do this before, he was so tired the 2yearold. He basically vaulted himself into his own crib jimmy wow. And was asleep by the time he hit the ground. Jimmy good sleeper, yeah so we say to the older one, hey man, do you want to just sleep in bed with mommy and daddy tonight . And then, you know that thing, the minute you tell a kid they cant have something, hes like, no, i need i love a crib [ laughter ] hes all, i love a crib it was like, im the crib guy. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah yeah, yeah thats like my mom at a restaurant, always like, i love a booth i have to be in a booth its like, its just a table, mom. Yeah. Jimmy yeah so then, 45 minutes later, now we finally got two cribs and we get our kids in and again, we have to wake up in, now at this point, three hours to go back to the airport to get on our flight jimmy oh my gosh and my son wanted us to play music because sometimes at night he wants us to play songs that he likes. Jimmy sure and so were trying to just pick one of the songs. Cause, were like, hes going to fall asleep as soon as we play a song. So were just trying to find something quiet to play for him. And then he again locks in and he was like, i want jingle bells. this is two weeks ago. [ light laughter ] basically were like, were not going to play jingle bells. Jimmy i love this kid. And again, hes like, i love Christmas Music [ laughter ] jimmy i love this kid. I will say, it was that great thing cause i do sometimes think terrible vacations bring families together, and you talk about them the rest of your life, right . Jimmy yep, thats true if a vacation goes too well, you just forget about it and never speak of it again. This one, were going to talk about forever because alexi and i were in bed holding each other, shaking with silent laughter because you dont want to reward this nonsense jimmy yep. But our son i was like, i think in the history of this Airport Hotel, no one on february has been like, jingle bells or im going to lose my mind [ laughter ] jimmy never. Never and so then we the next day, so then again, our flight to uruguay, which was ten hours, was supposed to be in the middle of the night its in the middle of the day. So its ten hours of your kid being awake on a plane not fun at all get to uruguay, the most beautiful country in the world really great, have an incredible time. Get back, and then i bring my son to school, you know, the week monday after we get back and he walks in and i just hear him saying to kids, like, and there we had two cribs. And im like, hes still talking about the hotel. [ laughter ] jimmy he loved the hotel all he cares about is the hotel. Jimmy he loved the hotel that was his story. Jimmy more with seth meyers when we come back, everybody stick around he loved it, thats all you need [ cheers and applause dramatic choir music dramatic choir music dramatic choir music its the rush of relaxation. Introducing the allnew lincoln corsair. Tat your door, so you can get more. Feels so good feels so good target run done. When better chickens are hatched, we will hatch them. Its why all of the tyson chicken that bears his name is raised with no antibiotics ever. Every nugget, strip and drumstick. Keep it real. Keep it tyson. Actually dry . Lets see. Its dry. Theres no dry time makes us wonder. Why we booked fifteensecond. Ad slots dries instantly and. Keeps you protected for fortyeighthours. Protect your pet with the 1 name in flea and tick protection. Frontline plus. Trusted by vets for nearly 20 years. Frontline plus. 60 of women wear the wrong size pad, and can experience leaks. You dont have to with always my fit try the next size up and get up to 20 better coverage day or night because better coverage means better protection always. You just gotta see the lighter side of things. Oh, this is it. This is how i die. You all ready for this . Couldve been worse same time tomorrow . Lets do another round. Rigshop 100s of. S. Same time tomorrow . Epic deals no coupons needed . Plus get kohls cash tops for the family are 9. 99 and under. Athletic shoes 49. 99 and under. And this power air fryer is just 99. 99 plus buy online, Free Store Pickup right now. At kohls and kohls dot com. Preorder a galaxy s20 now for up to 200 in samsung credit. [ cheers and applause jimmy welcome back were hanging out with seth meyers, everybody yeah. Jimmy seth meyers is here [ cheers and applause jimmy you do such a great job on your show and everyone up there at late night. But i was what is what is harder for you, to cover the election on your show, or is it harder on saturday night live, like when you would have to play someone . Well, i think the nice thing now is, you know, ive just been in the business a little bit longer i sort of know maybe how to say the things i want to say better where is it so im making the choices on my own. Where is at snl you would get assigned, you know, a politician to play jimmy i remember and that was very stressful for me jimmy really yeah. You know, the most famous politician, my ceiling, i got all the way up to john kerry jimmy i remember this. That was in 2004. Yeah jimmy i was there. And i singlehandedly tanked that campaign. [ laughter ] jimmy you did not. That was great it was not a bad john kerry right . Jimmy thats a great john kerry yeah yeah. And i ran into him this summer, john kerry, the actual john kerry, which is kind of exciting right . You know i dont know you did more impressions than me but when you run into people you played jimmy its amazing its a big deal right . Jimmy sure and heres the thing, i was with my kids earlier in the day. And i was wearing a straw hat. And my youngest son was wearing a straw hat but he didnt want to wear his straw hat. And i had forgotten right before i went over to say hi to john kerry, cause i was carrying my little one, that i had put his straw hat on top of my straw hat [ laughter ] and so i went over and i talked to john kerry. And i was feeling good about myself cause we had a nice interaction. Jimmy he was laughing. He was laugh it was like, oh, its good. That was nice. And then i walk over and my wife said, i took a picture of you talking to john kerry. [ laughter ] dont be mad, but i think you forgot youre wearing two hats. [ light laughter ] jimmy this is why [ laughter ] just a dude jimmy this is why [ cheers and applause this is why we give you a little wawaaa. Yeah. Jimmy yeah [ laughter ] he must have been like, this is the dickhead who played me . [ laughter ] could have been in the white house if it wasnt twohat meyers. [ laughter ] jimmy isnt it all works out the way it all works out for a reason yeah, yeah. I guess so yeah jimmy you know, the next democratic debate is just over a week away. Yeah. Jimmy and a lot of the theres a big surge online, a lot of people want you to be oh, i would hate it jimmy the moderator. I would hate it i think theres no theres no winning to be a moderator in these jimmy what are you talking about . I think youd be youd be great. I dont know. If you feel this way sometimes when i have people who are running for president on my show jimmy yeah i get nervous i dont want to interrupt them because i feel like, oh, theyre theyre out to get the most important job in the world. And im doing them a disservice because a lot of them can be super boring [ light laughter ] and be my respecting them i dont know if you had this thing because again, at one point, there were 24 people running for the democratic nomination jimmy yeah and it was interesting because you would say, hey, our next guest running for the democratic nomination for president. And the audience would go crazy because they would think oh, my god i might be seeing the next president of the united states. And then about two, three minutes into the interview you can hear them all sort of feeling like, theyre not gonna be president. Jimmy yeah, yeah [ laughter ] yeah seth this persons not going to be i didnt know who you were but you did know who you were. [ laughter ] jimmy you actually did know who you were. You know and you thought, president . jimmy what . Yeah. Jimmy all right. [ laughter ] wow. Okay all right. Youre feeling pretty good about yourself. Jimmy shooting for the moon there okay shooting for the moon. Yes, see, you would never do that no, i dont think it would be a lot of fun. And people, you know you know, i think some of the criticisms are fair for the people who moderate those debates. But its really hard i think to you know jimmy yeah, its almost like a nowin job. Its a nowin job jimmy everyones just yeah yeah. Jimmy what does karen know . , is that the bit that im talking about . Oh, yeah, yeah. What does karen know . We have a writer, karen chee jimmy i love this bit. The youngest writer on our staff. Shes 24, i believe. And we realized pretty quickly that 24yearolds dont know the same things as 40yearolds jimmy yeah [ laughter ] i know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah and its not because its like too smart for them. Jimmy yeah theyre more like, thats a dumb thing that i dont care about. Jimmy yeah [ laughter ] yeah and so we would make references, like pop culture references, and karen comes to me like, i dont know who that is. So one of the writers on our show, whos far closer to me in age, matt goldich, came up with this idea where basically i would hold up art cards and karen would have to guess who they are [ laughter ] and it makes you feel great shame for your era of life when you show a picture of Jeanclaude Van Damme jimmy no and not only does she not know who he is but then when you try to explain why he was so awesome, you realize, maybe he wasnt. You know [ laughter ] you know what i mean jimmy yeah youre like, well, you we watched his movies. And they were like, what were they about . Jimmy his legs would slow down on two trucks. Theyre like, what was he good at . You were like, kicking. [ laughter ] kicking. That was the only way to stop that guy. Jimmy he just needs to kick people. In the 90s, it was just kicking. [ laughter ] it was a simpler time. Jimmy who did the Cabbage Patch doll oh, yeah. Well garbage we showed her garbage pail kids. Jimmy thats what i meant. Garbage pail kid yeah, which is another hard sell but then it was really lovely. The people from topps, who make garbage pail they made one jimmy baseball cards yeah they made one for for me and karen. So we have our own garbage pail kid. Jimmy no way pretty big deal yeah jimmy who did the actual remember there was like somebody was dressed, i think it was the bachelors . Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah or Something Like that we did the Cabbage Patchler. Which was it was the bachelor but jimmy dude but jimmy whoever did that it was two people who have jimmy deserves an award. Two people who had Reconstructive Surgery to make themselves look like both a Cabbage Patch doll. Jimmy yeah yeah. And then it was about them finding love on the Cabbage Patchelor [ laughter ] jimmy the makeup the makeup was the makeup was incredible jimmy incredible by the way, i think we did that a year ago. Youre literally the first person whos mentioned it to me [ laughter ] jimmy i loved it i thought it was so great. Props to whoever did that. Yeah. Jimmy who do you have on the show tonight we have aoc, alexandria ocasiocortez jimmy oh and we have james taylor. How about that jimmy wow, i love that yeah. Big show big show jimmy are you excited for that im very excited. You know whos the most excited, is our friend Mike Shoemaker jimmy Mike Shoemaker because aoc from the bronx. Jimmy yup. Our producer Mike Shoemaker from the bronx, and james taylor, who he claims is the only person he listened to when he grew up in the bronx [ laughter ] so this thats so perfectly for him. Jimmy he must be doing cartwheels right now hes very, very, very happy jimmy well, tell him i love him. All right . I will, i will. Jimmy i love you, buddy. Seth meyers, everyone. [ cheers and applause stay tuned after the tonight show for late night with seth meyers with guests aoc and james taylor well be right back with Whitney Cummings stick around stay up tonight. [ cheers and applause cheetos has popcorn now . Hey, im going to need you to. Never mind. Cant touch this. Help you cant touch this. You cant touch this. You cant touch this. I trust you. Stop, hammer time i touched it new cheetos popcorn. Its a cheetos thing. Should become a celebrity accountant . I tell them, nobody. Nobody should. Reason for the call . Ugh, i thought we were done buying islands . I think im starting to get through. Iced chai. Ry. Pad thai. Baked pie. Pork chop. Soda pop. Scallop. Kebobs. Soursop. Hot pot. Dumpling. Chicken wing. Peking. Onion ring. We are americas kitchen. Doordash. Every flavor welcome. 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The 6. 99 super slam™ is back see you at dennys [ cheers and applause jimmy our next guest is a fantastic comedian she hosts the podcast called good for you. And you can also see her performing all around the country on her, how dare you tour everyone please welcome Whitney Cummings [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause hi. Hi jimmy whitney. Hi. Jimmy i missed you please welcome, welcome, welcome. Please what this is im wearing a suit. Jimmy yes. [ cheers and applause fantastic. And i do you unbutton it while youre sitting down . What do men do like with these things jimmy i think no. Yeah sit jimmy you dont sit like yeah, yeah youre sitting i dont know how to sit jimmy no, that looks like a man would sit like that. [ laughter ] but no, you have to just no sorry [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, i would open it you unbutton when you sit down jimmy when youre going down yeah, when were going down then you can what did you do that jimmy i left i just had it open ready to go. Wait. Should i do the things guys do when they sit down when they do this [ laughter ] jimmy i do not i do not do that. Whitney, i miss you. I love you hi. Jimmy thank you so much for being here thanks for having me. Jimmy congrats on the podcast, by the way. Well, im nervous because i have been doing a podcast and you can talk for three hours and curse. And i havent been on network tv in a while. And im worried, im rusty jimmy no, no [ laughter ] youll be fine they have a buzzer what words am i not allowed to say [ laughter ] can you just list them all for me jimmy you cant even do i cant can i say this word jimmy no [ laughter ] i dont think so theres a lot you cant even do that right now we pixelated the whole thing, is just two eyeballs right now [ laughter ] none of this none of this interviews useful jimmy so far, nothing is useful should i start over jimmy yeah, exactly. Come out, answer again this time take the jacket off. Yeah, ill do it again i love that okay, im starting over. [ drumroll ] im starting over. Jimmy all right, ready all right, ladies and gentlemen [ laughter ] im ready jimmy okay, here we go im ready can you also say, shes beautiful . Jimmy all right. I will, thank you. Here we go jimmy our next guest is a fantastic, beautiful comedian she hosts [ laughter ] she hosts the podcast called good for you. So far so good yeah. [ laughter ] jimmy all right, all right a little more intense a little more intense. Jimmy you can see her performing all around the country on her how dare you tour everyone, please welcome Whitney Cummings [ cheers and applause jimmy thats how you do it right there. Whitney cummings, welcome to the program. [ cheers and applause so jimmy unbutton and sit thats it. Hi everybody. Jimmy thats Whitney Cummings right there, ladies and gentlemen [ cheers and applause thats how you do it that is how you do it. Thank you for the tips yes jimmy whitney, i miss you. It seems like just it seems like i just saw you. Ive not seen you in ages jimmy i havent seen you in so long. Oh, my gosh. Jimmy you look fantastic if not, say beautiful. You look beautiful you look the same since i last saw you jimmy thank you. [ laughter ] thank you very much. Thats so nice of you. You are ageless jimmy jimmy good for you. Yeah. Jimmy good for you. Yeah. Jimmy am i saying it right yes, you are. What would be wrong about that jimmy well, you could say like, good for you . Oh, that true good for you. Jimmy good for you. Yeah. Good for you. Jimmy its almost like a, good for you. Yeah, its not that snarky. Jimmy its not cause that would be a bad interview podcast. If you were like oh, good good for you. [ laughter ] jimmy good for you. Good for you. Yeah, you just got a new house yeah, good for you no, thats what i think whenever someone tells me anything jimmy you cant say that but i try to say, good for you. No [ laughter ] jimmy oh, my god is good for you, like this is good for you jimmy okay, good yeah, you should listen to this theres good stuff in here jimmy see . The podcast is good for you. Yeah, not good for you, but jimmy oh, its all right. Its a rorschach test, basically. Jimmy im gonna do your show, and then you can do, good for you. Good for you. Jimmy do you like to be interviewed or do you like interviewing people . I thats such a weird both, but interviewing is hard for me i dont know how you dont roll your eyes at people when they say crazy things dont you feel like celebrities, some of them are very out of touch . Come on. [ laughter ] come on, america you know jimmy what do you mean well like celebrities, i just theres a lot of celebrities that are just so far gone, and so rich and have gotten so crazy, i feel like its gonna be hard for me to not just be like, ugh. Like, every famous celebrity i know believes in ghosts. [ light laughter ] and then when you hear why, youre just like, idiot. [ laughter ] like, a celebrity would be like, oh, my god. I was in my house and like, i put my purse down and a couple hours later the purse was somewhere else. I was like, bitch, cause you have help. Thats your assistant. [ laughter and applause thats not [ cheers and applause jimmy oh my gosh just sit there so okay, but theres more jimmy just take over the show [applause] but also theres [ cheers and applause theres jimmy i cant compete. I cant compete anymore. Yeah, i cant do it. Thank you jimmy oh, my gosh. Yes, i understand that do you believe in ghosts . [ laughter ] jimmy well, this one time i opened my refrigerator and there was food in there. [ laughter ] the saddest part is doing the bit i pulled it open to go to a website and i went to whitneycummings. Com. That was sad [ laughter ] jimmy thats the first thats the only website i go to i guess really at this point. Jimmy you know what . I want to hear this story. I want you to tell the story about your dogs on tour because were oh. Jimmy i love it. I think its a really sweet story. You know, dogs people have dogs . [ cheers and applause so when you have dogs, because no one wants to have kids with you yet. [ laughter ] you can relate so if you have dogs, you end up in the emergency room like all the time this is not a funny story. This is more a heartwarming story. Jimmy thats okay. And im not insecure at all i dont need to prepare you for the fact that this isnt about to be funny. [ light laughter ] sometimes you have to go to the vet at 2 00 in the morning and crazy things happen. And this was i just feel like theres so much negativity out there and i just wanted to share the story cause its so heart warming. Jimmy yeah so this dog comes in, this woman is hysterically crying with this dog that has probably been hit by a car. Something its bad. Blood everywhere shes like screaming, crying this is a disaster the male vet comes in to grab the dog. The dog is growling. Will not go. Shes goes, im so sorry, the dog does not like men. [ light laughter ] cause theyre smart. [ laughter and applause cause they know. They get it. Jimmy oh, my god so so the dog will not go with the vet, even though its in bad shape its growling. Its scared. The vet, without missing a a beat, goes behind the counter and grabs a giant blonde wig [ audience aws ] put its on his head goes back over dog stops growling [ laughter ] takes the dog, whisks it back to the e. R two hours later, emerges with the dog in two little casts, totally healed, still wearing the wig. [ cheers and applause jimmy thats what men do thats what real men do. My hero jimmy real men wear wigs my hero jimmy Whitney Cummings, everybody. Thank you jimmy check out her podcast, good for you. Good for you. Jimmy and go see her on tour well be right back with a a performance from puss n boots stick around [ cheers and applause shes staying in a rainforest tree house . Thats my dream. You dream big for a man on a plane to omaha. And shes zip lining with little jon . What its lil jon. Even he knows that. Thanks, captain obvious. Youre with big jon. Im steve. Dont hatelike their trip, book yours with hotels. Com and get rewarded basically everywhere. Hotels. Com. Be there. Do that. Get rewarded. Rigshop 100s of. S. Epic deals no coupons needed . Plus get kohls cash tops for the family are 9. 99 and under. Athletic shoes 49. 99 and under. And this power air fryer is just 99. 99 plus buy online, Free Store Pickup right now. At kohls and kohls dot com. The family has to share one. Ooo. Got it step up with boost mobile and get 4 phones for free switch to boost mobile and get 4 lines for 25 per line with unlimited data, and 4 free Samsung Galaxy a20 phones, all on our super fast network. 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[ cheers and applause jimmy performing angel dream, a little tom petty gem we love you, tom from their new album sister, please welcome puss n boots [ cheers and applause i dreamed you i saw your face caught my lifelin when driftin through space i saw an ange i saw my faith i can only thank god it was not too late over mountain i floated away cross an ocean i dreamed of her name i followed an angel down through the gates i can only thank god it was not too late oh sing a little song of lonelines sing one to make me smile another round for everyone im here for a little while now im walking these streets on my ow but shes with m everywhere that i go yeah i found an angel i found my place i can only thank god it was not too late i can only thank go it was not too lat i can only thank god it was not too late [ cheers and applause jimmy that is how you do it thank you very much puss n boots [ cheers and applause sister is out now. Well be right back, everybody oh, my gosh. Thank you so much. [ cheers and applause we made usaa insurance for members like kate. A former army medic, made of the flexibility to handle whatever monday has in store and tackle four things at once. So when her car got hit, she didnt worry. She simply filed a claim on her usaa app and said. I got this. Usaa insurance is made the way kate needs it easy. She can even pick her payment plan so its easy on her budget and her life. Usaa. What youre made of, were made for. Usaa. Doesnt mean you got to spend a lot because dennys brought back the super slam™. With eggs, hash browns, bacon, sausage and pancakes. All for just 6. 99. The 6. 99 super slam™ is back see you at dennys [ cheers and applause jimmy my thanks to seth meyers, Whitney Cummings, puss n boots, everybody and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania stay tuned for late night with seth meyers thank you for watching have a great night i hope to see you tomorrow byebye, everybody [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight representative alexandria ocasiocortez chat and music from james taylor [ cheers and applause featuring the 8g band with glen sobel [ chee and applause ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. Seth good evening. Im seth meyers. This is late night. Hows everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause that is great to hear. In that case, lets get to the news senato
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