Week, we have all new shows as well we have the jonas brothers, ll cool j, melissa mccarthy, octavia spencer, halle berry its gonna be giant. So check out next week, all new shows, all new charities and stuff to talk about next week. So thank you so much we have a big show tonight hi hi. Jimmy we have a big show tonight. We have the one and only hugh jackman on the show tonight. Actors fund is his charity hes going with. We also have rose byrne. Her charity is foodbanknyc. Org and Bobby Cannavale actually shows up in her interview as well i will say, i baked bread with hugh jackman, which ive never done it was pretty fun. I have this scar to prove it that was my little battle scar from baking with hugh jackman. Wow jimmy yeah and then but rose byrne makes a cocktail using you know those syringes that come with baby advil . [ laughter ] ive never seen anything like it its great also we have kesha who we just love kesha. And here is her charity to raise money for crew live nation for crew members out there that arent working right now because of this pandemic and then we have another issue of another edition of the longest days of our lives, that soap opera that is set in quarantine over zoom with people that look like kristen wiig, will ferrell and a very special guest i wont tell you who it is okay, its Matthew Mcconaughey because why not . Why not tell you who it is at this point come on, you want okay, guys you ready for this were gonna do some thank you notes. We going to do the monologue well, lets do the monologue first. Oh, and then, before i get to the monologue, i do want to mention, lastly, tomorrow night, the big event one world at home together. This is with stephen colbert, jimmy kimmel and i are hosting it lady gaga headed this whole thing up Paul Mccartney is doing something. Elton john theres certain names i cant tell you can i say the Rolling Stones i think i can say the Rolling Stones its out now the Rolling Stones are going to be on it it is two hours of amazing stuff. Just watch it and enjoy it set your dvrs now. Pause this and set your dvrs to tape at one world together at home. Is that what i said . I might have said at home together. Together at home is what it is okay, here we go, guys lets start with some monologue. Are you ready for monologue jokes . Here we go ready . Wait, guys, ready for this listen up. Here we go hey. Are you excited . Yes jimmy okay, good welcome to tonight show at home edition. Guys, i saw that today is bat Appreciation Day bats are incredible animals. They can see in the dark they can use Echo Location to find food. The only thing they cant do right now is read the room thats right its bat Appreciation Day. Man, out of all of the events that have been cancelled in the last month, you had to think this might have been one of them, right . Guys, i saw that i saw that dr. Phil is in hot water for some comments he made about the coronavirus. You can tell dr. Phil is in trouble because he just booked a onehour exclusive interview with himself you cant jimmy do you feel any remorse . Yes, i do. Hey, guys. Whisper for a second i am doing this, okay . Whisper while im doing this, okay thank you. [ whispering ] [ whispering ] listen to this i read that Many Americans have tried cutting their own bangs. Cutting your own bangs is a great idea if you looked at Mark Zuckerberg and thought, i want that. Ive seen some articles that offer alternatives to shaking hands like raising your eyebrows and smiling that was a good idea right up until the moment my plumber thought that i was hitting on him. How you doing . Listen to this, since new york streets are pretty much empty, speeding tickets have nearly doubled. On the bright side, most new yorkers have appreciated getting a ticket, saying it was just nice to yell at a stranger again. Im excited about this the nfl draft is less than a a week away. Yup, the countrys Top College FootballFootball Players will sign multimillion dollar contracts, then just keep living at home with their parents. And finally, i read that youre leaving too yeah, might as well. I read that experts say coronavirus stress could lead to weight gain i think that is what they said that is tough to hear over the sound of my dorito and captain crunch sandwich. Thats our monologue, everybody. Now its time for thank you notes, guys, come on back. Jimmy guys, today is friday thats usually when i would write out some thank you notes and i send them out to my friends. So, if you guys wouldnt mind, id like to write out my weekly thank you notes right now. Do you guys want to help cool all right. Here we go the first one goes music. Thank you, yeezy slides for looking more like crocs than crocs. They look a crocodile to you all right, next one. Next one, next one. Jimmy next one, next one music. Thank you to smudgy webcam lens for being my soft focus beauty secret on zoom next one thank you new drake song toosie slide for giving dads super specific instructions on how to embarrass their kids on tiktok right foot up left foot slide. Here comes dad shaking his behind. [ blowing raspberries thank you reports that the s. A. Ts and a. C. T. s might be cancelled this year because of the coronavirus. Or as scantron put it, what is my purpose now . Next one. Jimmy music. Thank you thank you mirrors for that brief moment of thinking hey, someone new to talk to. Oh, thats just me. Next one did you laugh at that . You did . No thank you lines where everyone is standing six feet apart, for looking like a drive through where the cars are invisible next one. Jimmy okay music, please. Thank you, the glass of wine before going to bed, for now being two glasses, well, maybe three. Three is basically a bottle, so next thank you karaoke for being the most fun way to hear your favorite songs, but worse. Music. Thank you. Thank you, wiping down my groceries, for giving me the chance to caress a bag of tostitos like theyre the love of my life and thats it right there. Thank you very much, everybody well be right back with the longest days of our lives with kristen wiig, will ferrell and special guest Matthew Mcconaughey [ cheers and applause at tmobile, you dont have to choose between a Great Network and the best prices. We give you both. Switch your family from at t or verizon to tmobile and you will save up to 50 off your Current Service and smart phones. 50 with three or more lines of essentials with unlimited talk, text and data. All on a network built with our best signals for coverage. And keep your current phones. Well pay them off up to 450 bucks each. Now get an Amazing Network for an amazing price. Only at tmobile. With this one little nexgard chew comes the confidence, youre doing whats right, to protect your dog from fleas and ticks for a full month. Its the 1 vet recommended protection. And its safe for puppies. Nexgard. What one little chew can do. Sorry im late, everybody, and apologies for my appearance. You look fine. We were just talking about yeah, right. I look like a wanted poster. I didnt have time to get my beard routine in this morning, so. What beard routine . Ah. Well, the key is maple nectar. Gives it that sheen. Is there something wrong with my screen . Mnhmnh. Jamie, what are talking about . Youre right, alan. We should be talking about bundling home and auto with progressive, not this luscious mane of mine. [ laughs ] jamie, do you know what a beard is . Tonight, try pure zzzs all night. Unlike other sleep aids, our extended release melatonin helps you sleep longer. And longer. Zzzquil pure zzzs all night. Fall asleep. Stay asleep. We stick together, for worse or for better yeah through any kind of weather, yo youre my friend in need. come on, come on we stick together, we make the sunshine brighter, we make it all feel better, youre my, youre my, woo, yeah youre my family. yo youre my family. Jimmy welcome back, everybody. Last week i showed you an episode of the longest days of our lives. Its a soap opera that theyre doing on zoom, through zoom, during this quarantine i cant even believe that they are actually pulling this off. So here is the newest episode of the longest days of our lives. Jimmy previously seen on the longest days of our lives. [ gasp ] ive cheated on you with your brother [ gasp ] jimmy youll never get your hands on the fortune i already have. [ gasp ] jimmy a horrible time that feels like it might last forever. These are the longest days of our lives. Vanessa, as always, you look like youre full of secrets. Well, i am definitely full of one big secret. One big secret baby. Thats right, winston. Im pregnant six hours pregnant jimmy what how did you i got pregnant on zoom. Which means jimmy no the baby might be mine. [ gasp ] jimmy if it isnt my long lost brother, fontaine sorry, i came as soon as i heard. I was doing zoom zumba with my sister, zuzanne. Jimmy our sister susan zuzan does zumba on zoom yeah. Yeah, shes got a special room jimmy oh, cool good for her Pay Attention to me i got pregnant on the internet and one of you is the father [ gasp ] [ gasp ] jimmy how dare you [ slap ] ouch ah [ grunting ] [ slapping ] please, stop how are we ever going to find out who the real father is well, i think i can be of some help with the answer to that question. Well, if it isnt the famed obgyn doctor denunzio i thought you were dead. Well, i was my villainous exwife pushed me off a dock into very shallow water. But when i got to heaven i decided to save my own life. Im just that good please tell us who is the father is it winston . Is it fontaine the father is both [ gasp ] yes, both. Winston is fontaine and fontaine is winston because i separated them at birth. [ gasping wait. Wait wait wait wait hold on a second how . Youre basically our same age. I might be a baby doctor now, but back then i was a baby doctor [ gasping [ coughing ] so sorry, i gasped too big jimmy but why did you switch us . Lets just say someone that you know paid me some very pretty paper who did me did. [ gasp ] ah. [ gasp ] [ groaning ] [ barking [ grunting ] jimmy join us next week on the longest days of our lives. That was the longest days of our lives. My thanks to the great kristen wiig, will ferrell and Matthew Mcconaughey. Oh my goodness, that was fun well be right back, everybody, with hugh jackman. Come on back to build unlimited right. You start with americas most awarded network, the one with unbeatable reliability 13 times in a row. This network is one less thing i have to worry about. vo then you give people more plans to mix and match so you only pay for what you need verizon unlimited plan is so reasonable, they can stay on for the rest of their lives. Awww. vo you include the best in entertainment and you offer it all starting at 35. 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After shopping around for insurance, they called usaa who helped find the right coverage for them and even some muchneeded savings. That was the easy part. Usaa insurance is made the way liz and mike need it easy. Jimmy welcome back, everybody. He can sing. He can dance he can act he is a stud we love him. Tonight he is going to bake a challah bread with me. The one and only hugh jackman. Here we go jimmy hey, how are you here he is. What up . Jimmy hugh jackman in the house. I love you buddy how are you doing . Doing great look at all that art work. Priceless. Jimmy yep. Thank you. I am getting better. I keep practicing, every day i try a new drawing. Hi deb its so good to see you. You too, darling. It is hilarious watching you with your two kids jimmy my gosh. Dude, honestly i couldnt even write it you know theyre just walking all over me, literally. Yeah. How old are the kids . Jimmy theyre five and six now. Theyre five and six. Jimmy and theyre outside playing right now so i can do this part. So im like, all right, i have things to do and you guys need to get out of here cause i couldnt have you crawling all over right now. Aww jimmy but theyre outside. Crazy. Keep on going, its great jimmy how are your thank you, buddy im so happy you are doing this and its always good to see deb. Your kids are teenagers, right 19 and 14 were like in another country from you were in the country where they dont want to see us that country were not there, not yet were really annoying were the annoying ones hey, you guys want to watch, you know, a movie, now . No jimmy youre the most entertaining guy in the world. They dont find you i keep telling them that. Were so entertaining. Funny. Hilarious. Shes not buying it. [ laughter ] that little clip, if you could just put that in a loop, like, everywhere [ laughter ] all right, youve got to go to work. Jimmy its always good to see you, deb you guys just celebrated your anniversary, didnt you . Yeah, 24. Lebrated our anniversary. Deb cooked jimmy 24 years yeah. Jimmy isnt there a story involving mick jagger or something . So the first can i say this the first night we sort of started our relationship had dinner. Lets see, when our relationship kicked off, i was having a dinner party. We were working together on a tv series. And i had a dinner party deb, 12 others and deb got a phone call over halfway through dinner we are in melbourne, australia, okay the phone rings. Deb picks it up and everyone goes quiet this is we are talking 94. Like, mobile phones were new so, everyone goes quiet, and deb is talking who . Shes like, who . She goes, hang on a second and she says, mick jagger is in a limo with my friends outside your house and wants to go and party with me as well. I am like that was my girlfriend wanting to come party with mick jagger. And i am like, youve got to go go, go, get. Leave here now and she gets on the phone and she goes, you can tell mick that im having dinner with hugh jackman and i am like, ah. Jimmy thats a keeper. Who no one had ever heard of at that moment in time jimmy thats a keeper. Thats cool. Come on. I love that story. And here you are i dont even like rock and roll so it wasnt such a hard pass [ laughter ] part of me was thrilled, but part of me was like, i think you should have gone [ laughter ] some big parade in melbourne like come on so here we are 24 years later. Yeah. Jimmy all right, here we go now, me and your husband are going to start baking. Deb, its good to see you can you bake . Of course. You can do everything. Jimmy no, i cannot do everything thats you you can do everything. But what i asked you, you said you are into baking, so what are we doing today we are going to do challah. Were going to do some challah bread. It is really easy, but it looks a little impressive than just baking a loaf of bread it is a long process so im halfway through the process. I am slightly ahead of you, i guess. Jimmy my friend over at a place called loaves and fishes gave me some already made dough i am jealous already. Okay yeah jimmy so, heres the thing, i did not know this. You can ask people for raw dough and they will give it to you. Really . I had no idea either jimmy whoa one of the greatest gifts i was ever given was a bread machine. Because i dont know about you, im not really i mean, i get up early but i am not really a a morning person dont like the alarm but when you are woken up to the smell of fresh bread that has been cooking because it has been on the timer . Yeah yeah jimmy its the greatest, right . Particularly after 17 years of playing wolverine where bread was literally like, you know, water to the wicked witch of the west. Jimmy so what do i do now . I have this. I have this bread. Break that into thirds. And like, roll it. Can you see those . Jimmy yeah, yeah roll it into three. Jimmy is that marijuana . [ laughter ] cheech. Jimmy thats the wrong photo. Cover it with flour jimmy all right, here we go all right, so thats one two, three okay have you got some flour on the surface . Jimmy yeah i got flour there. See, i am holding these guys that is good. Quick. Jimmy right . And now i got these. Yeah. Jimmy and then so, youve got them sort of fanning out. Yes, exactly pinch together what we are holding. And pinch that together. Jimmy hey look, i am wolverine. [ laughter ] the famous impression. Okay how do you braid them . Can you show me . Have three like that. No have three like that and then outside one fold into the middle of the other two. Jimmy okay outside one on the left fold into the middle. Whichever one is on the outside you want to go into the middle jimmy like a nice braid. Like rapunzel. Thats it, man. You have braided your kids hair, havent you . Jimmy is that good thats good thats a very creative challah and then pinch the ends together like they come into it see that, how i pinched the ends you pinch. Jimmy okay just hold it together so it doesnt come apart when you cook jimmy okay i got that by the way, that took me like 20 minutes. It took you like 2 okay one egg. Jimmy watch this i am going to crack it with one hand ready . Yeah, lets see jimmy ready, watch this. N