Testimony before the House Judiciary Committee was delayed by almost an hour yesterday after the panels chairman, congressman jerry nadler, was involved in a car accident turns out, he was wearing his mask wrong during barrs appearance yesterday, chairman jerry nadler accused barr of politicizing the Justice Department said barr, objection. During attorney general William Barrs appearance yesterday before the House Judiciary Committee, barr said he does not believe that there is systemic racism in Law Enforcement but he did go on to say, thank you for the suggestion well certainly certainly give it a try. When asked yesterday about Infectious Disease expert dr. Anthony faucis Approval Rating, President Trump said, hes got this high Approval Rating so why dont i have a high Approval Rating with respect to the virus . Which is kind of like a jets player saying, i dont get it the patriots are winning this game i mean, how come were not winning this game . Same ball, same field. I dont get it. Thats right, trump questioned why dr. Faucis Approval Rating is so high when his is so low. I dont know, man, maybe because hes trying to save our lives. If this pandemic was a group project, fauci would be the straight a student making sure it gets done and youd be the jock who keeps saying, flip a coin to see whose name goes on top first . Its only fair. Former Vice President joe biden said yesterday he will choose his running mate next week and this should make pence nervous, so did trump. According to a new report, russian intelligence agencies are using three english language websites to spread false information about coronavirus in the u. S. Its facebook, twitter and whitehouse. Gov President Trump said in an interview yesterday that he has never confronted russian president Vladimir Putin with intelligence, indicating his Security Services paid the taliban to kill u. S. Troops and added, quote, if it had reached my desk, i would have done something about it. Well, did you ever think maybe theres not enough room on your desk sir, wed have something wed like to get on your desk immediately. Theres a bit of a bit of a bean jam right now little backup on the bean products, so maybe next week stop back and ill see if i can work through the beans. Senator Bernie Sanders introduced a bill yesterday to provide a reusable mask for every american said bernie, and here it is, everybody gets it for 15 minutes when youre done with it, wash it, give it to the next person. Been a while since ive done a bernie and i think the impression maybe suffered a little bit because of that a brewery called the Ballistic Beer Company announced that it has recalled their twang brambleberry sour beer from stores because cans of it were exploding and because white people in brooklyn were naming their babies after it. Twang brambleberry, it is not your turn on the swings. Twang twang [ laughter ] twang brambleberry sour. Twang brambleberry sour, you come right here. According to a [ light laughter ] tbs. According to a new report, the drugstore chain rite aid added facial Recognition Systems to 200 Stores Across the country over the last eight years. Incidentally, eight years ago was the last time someone spotted a rite aid employee. Hello hello, anyone . Someone unlock the razors . Producers have announced that wheel of fortune will resume production with a redesigned wheel that ensures contestants are six feet apart and on the price is right, they made drew careys microphone even longer finally, according to a new study, people over six feet tall are more likely to get the coronavirus. Thats a relief, said every man on tinder whos been lying about his height and that, you guys, is a monologue. We got a great show for you tonight. Ill be talking to David Schwimmer about his new comedy on peacock. And our friend, robin thede will be here. She created a black lady sketch show. And yesterday, got three emmy nominations. Im so excited to talk to robin. But first, a closer look. Hello, everyone. And welcome back to the Captains Quarters ive now been trapped inside without an audience since march. And as some of you have noticed, ive gone a little insane. Weird things have been happening to my hair i befriended the wasps in my attic. And for some reason, i even went on a lengthy and irrelevant rant about a 20 yearold tv show for teens, dawsons creek. You know what they say, seth. A creek is just a tiny ocean seth who would say that and why . Oh, right, ive and by the way im aware tha been divisive. Some of you are just confused as to why weve chosen to invest so much of our time and energy into this bit so we have decided to settle this debate once and for all with a poll. Should we keep the sea captain . Yes or no. To vote, just log on to www. Google. Com, type in sea captain, but dont click search. Take a screen shot, print it out, write yes or no on it with a sharpie, and then mail it to wherever your best guess is for the address im filming the show at we will reveal the poll results at the end of the summer the only pole im interested in is a fishing pole seth jokes like that arent helping your chances of sticking around, sea captain. Okay. Seth speaking of psychosis, President Trump and his allies in the right wing media are once again amplifying an unhinged viral video lying about the coronavirus. For more on this, its time for a closer look. Seth as the coronavirus pandemic has spread out of control, so has misinformation about it if you have facebook, or an uncle who still wears his class ring, youve probably heard some of it. Im pretty sure weve all gotten at least one email from a relative during this whole thing with the subject line like, forward, forward, forward, coronavirus can be cured by swallowing a candle and sticking garlic up your butt. When we all know that swallowing a candle and sticking garlic up your butt is number three on goops top ten ways to relax on a job interview. And it wont shock you to learn that a lot of the misinformation can be found on facebook, the website you signed up for just to see if your high school crush got married to that son of a bitch, jeff. Well, a, they did. And b, they also went crazy. A report in april collected some of the most popular coronavirus myths circulating on facebook. Some examples include coronavirus can be destroyed by chlorine dioxide. Oregano oil proves effective against coronavirus. There was a post claiming you can hold your breath for ten seconds to test yourself for coronavirus. And another alleging that someone named dr. Mario pesaresi had revealed that inhaling steam is a Natural Remedy for coronavirus. Well, if steam cures disease, that would finally explain why all new yorkers on subways look so hale and hearty the l train is more restorative than an icelandic spa. Second, i dont know who dr. Mario pesaresi is, but he sounds like a doctor paulie walnuts would be friends with on the sopranos. Whats that smell . Oh, thats me, ton. Dr. Pesaresi told me if i put provolone in my pants, it would cure my you knowwhat. I dont know what. I got a genital discharge. Oh, were eating here by the way, if youre offended, you should know the writer who wrote that is italianamerican oh, italy, the new jersey of europe seth so is the writer who wrote that muahh. Now, youve probably heard some of the more infamous and ludicrous conspiracy theories like the idea that 5g mobile towers are spreading coronavirus or that it was created by bill gates as a way to implant chips into people through vaccines unfortunately, these ideas arent just confined to dark corners of the internet. They often make their way into the real world as we saw in april when right wing conspiracy theorist alex jones showed up to an antilockdown protest in texas. You remember alex jones, the guy who always looks like hes trying to hulk out but cant i think because instead of gamma rays he was hit by hama rays i like it seth jones led the crowd in chants of arrest bill gates. Arrest bill gates arrest bill gates. Arrest bill gates. Seth the only police who should arrest bill gates are the Fashion Police bill, why cant you find a tie that goes down to your waist you look like the assistant manager at a game stop you and trump need to split the difference youre an i. T. Billionaire stop dressing like an i. T. Guy. And then there are the viral videos, which might seem at first glance to come from reputable medical professionals, repeating some of the wildest debunked conspiracy theories about the origins or effects of covid19 like that infamous plandemic video, featuring syosset stevie nicks, a person who claims, among other things, that masks can somehow activate coronavirus, that beaches shouldnt be closed because they have restorative properties that cure diseases, and that dr. Anthony fauci, the nations top expert on Infectious Diseases, was responsible for the creation of the coronavirus which is ridiculous for many reasons. I mean, if the guy could create a highly infectious virus in a lab as part of a secret plot to sell a moneymaking vaccine, dont you think he could also learn how to throw a baseball . And then there were those two urgent care doctors from bakersfield, california, who falsely claimed in a viral Youtube Video that the virus just wasnt as deadly as most other experts believed they based that claim on some extremely faulty data, which they arrived at through some truly terrible math. Basically, they claimed that a lot more people in california hach would make the percentage of cases that and they arrived at that conclusion, in part, by taking the rate of positive tests at the clinics they own and just extrapolating that rate to the entire california population, which makes no sense the people who walk into an urgent care clinic because they think they might be sick arent a representative sample of the entire population. I mean, i know ive definitely gone to urgent care like four or five times to ask them about a weird rash and been told its just new york skin could be bedbugs could be a rat bite. Could be heat rash from having your radiator stuck on high all winter could be radiation from a cockroach in your kitchen smoking a cigarette. Im your new roommate and no, i wont wear a mask. We need to get organic soaps. As one biologist im sorry i draw the line at soaps. As one biologist who specializes in Infectious Disease modeling put it, the doctors method was a bit like estimating the average height of americans from the players on an nba court which is ridiculous. You cant estimate the average height of americans from the players on an nba court. However, you can estimate the average basketball skill level of americans from the players on the knicks and both of these cases, those videos are not just seen by millions of people before being taken down, they were also amplified by rightwing media. The Sinclair Broadcast Group had planned to air an interview with the star of plandemic this past weekend until it backed down after an outcry in their statement withdrawing the seen little, writing, were a supporter of free speech and a marketplace of ideas and viewpoints, even if incredibly controversial. Thats not a justification for just saying whatever you want without consequences you guys love to talk about the marketplace of ideas, but actual marketplaces are also free to impose their own rules because if you just let everyone and everything into the marketplace, you get etsy. Happy birthday, mark. Oh, a dream catcher made of old fresca cans, you shouldnt have. And im not saying free speech should be regulated by the government, but we can do things like say break up Big Tech Companies so they dont have so much monopoly power. Also, a marketplace of ideas, just like a marketplace of goods, should be responsive to criticism. In a real marketplace, you cant just open a store called arsenicfila or toys r us and us toys r knives and then say, you cant criticize me its the free market. Dangerous misinformation like pandemic, often with the help of prominent figures on the right the latest example is a facebook video staged and funded by a rightwing Dark Money Groups the video, which was viewed by over 20 Million People before being taken down, claimed you dont need to wear a mask because the antimalaria drug hydroxychloroquine is a cure for coronavirus, even though its been repeatedly disproven by study after study. Just last week, there was yet another study, published in the new england journal of medicine which found that hydroxychloroquine does not help covid 19 patients no drug has been studied this much since those troublemakers at psi u conducted an experiment to see which strain of marijuana makes doritos taste better i hope youre happy, gentlemen, youve all flunked out. And believe me, we all wish hydroxychloroquine actually worked we wish everything worked. Everyone wishes there was a cure for coronavirus. No one wants to be trapped inside for this long if hydroxychloroquine really worked, id take an uber pool to times square to get coughed on by a tourist just for old times sake oh, times square where else in the world can you get m ms i cant wait to be first in line at my local bodega ordering a bacon, egg and cheese. Well, no, with my luck, id be second in line behind a construction worker placing an order for his entire crew. On the fifth sandwich, i need pepper and light hot sauce. I miss you, friend i have cursed you under my breath, but i do miss you now. But all the studies tell us hydroxychloroquine doesnt work and pushing it is dangerous, especially, especially for people who actually need it for conditions like lupus. After the president began touting hydroxychloroquine for coronavirus earlier this year, lupus patients struggled to get it with one telling usa today that because she was unable to fill her prescription, she is rationing her pills, taking a halfpill every day, a quarter of her normal dosage thats horrible. Lupus patients basically have to microdose a lifesaving medication the same way your recently divorced aunt microdoses lsd if i take the right amount, its almost like steve never existed in this universe. And yet, because theyve failed on the pandemic response, and because theyre desperate for a magic fix that will make the crisis go away, prominent figures on the right are now pushing the discredited hydroxychloroquine video the president s son, don jr. , had his twitter account partially locked for 12 hours after tweeting the video to his five million followers and then last night, he went on fox news to complain now, twitter takes me down for that but twitter has no problem saying that coronavirus disinformation spread by the Chinese Government does not violate their rules. Thats interesting jake tapper himself, a few weeks ago, posted, study finds hydroxychloroquine helped coronavirus patients survive better. Now, why is jake tapper not spreading misinformation but i somehow am seth its fun when a dumb guy brings printouts to an interview. Its like when the jock on campus carries around a book to impress girls. Oh, this . Yeah, i was just reading about my favorite author, Ernest Hemingway he went to jail. They made a movie about it. Oh, wait, wait im sorry. Whats on one of those printouts . Oh, man. What is it . I cant see. Seth nothing and by the way, theres a huge difference between a journalist tweeting a link to a news story and what you tweeted out at least he tweeted a link to a reputable News Organization reporting on a study that put the findings in proper context and used cautious language whereas you just tweeted out a video funded by a right wing Dark Money Group with a doctor calling hydroxychloroquine a, quote, cure for coronavirus. A doctor, by the way, who also claims that gynecological problems are, in fact, caused by people having sex in their dreams with demons and witches, that alien dna is currently used in medical treatments and scientists are cooking up a vaccine to prevent people from being religious and that the government is run in part not by humans but by reptiles and other aliens hey, ton, i figured out where that discharge came from i had dream sex with a demon. Oh were still eating here. Demon sperm sounds like a catchphrase on church chat after dark. Look at you with your throbbing loins and pulsating buttocks is it possible youre infected with, could it be, demon sperm . Side note. Im very close to having early 1990s dana carvey hair although im even closer to dennis miller. Oh, man. Have those 90s miller locks thats the dream back to the look, jocko seth see he serves a purpose. Also, if they were really using dna in treatments, trump definitely would have asked fauci about it fauci, just spitballing here. What if we caught an alien and just let it attach itself to your face . You know, like a big hand . Im hearing very good things from my friends at the weylandyutani corporation, fauci. Seriously, does she actually Practice Medicine . Filling out those insurance forms must be a nightmare. Have you recently, one, traveled abroad, two, visited a farm, three, boned a demon seriously, who on earth could possibly trust a doctor like this oh, god. Whyd i ask . There was a a woman who was spectacular in her statements about it, that shes had tremendous success with it and they took her they took her voice off. I dont know why they took her off but they took her off. I can tell you this. She was on air, along with many other doctors. They were big fans of hydroxychloroquine and i thought she was very impressive i was very impressed with her and other doctors that stood with her i think she made sense seth cool, so, trump wont listen to the renowned Infectious Disease expert who actually works for him but he loves the demon s