Nailed it. This ad brought to you by the steve from rockefeller Trump Campaign for nonself center in the heart of conflicting messages new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy seth meyers, thank you, women for trump bus, for looking like an Optional Accessory you can buy for jimmy its hard to altright blogger barbie understand david blaine well, even though trumps spending his time calling into musical guest, burna boy fox, im sure his administration is focused on the important issues facing our and featuring the legendary nation, right . Roots crew the Trump Administration wants to change the definition of a shower head to let more water flow and now here is your host, jimmy fallon thank you, shark week in 2020, President Trump talked about the need to keep his hair for somehow managing to make tv perfect and complained multiple times that he was not getting shows about deadly shark wet enough attacks feel like a relaxing escape [ laughter ] jimmy wow. Thank you, study that found aldg jimmy hi, everyone first of all, i just want to apologize for making everyone contains toxic chemicals picture trump in the shower. Thank you very much for tuning in or as their hamburgers put it, twinsies welcome to the tonight show. A even more upsetting, he took our top scientists off vaccine theres the roots right there. Research and put them on this. Always good to see the roots [ applause ] hes not getting wet enough in lets get to the news and jokes. The shower meanwhile, americans were like, shower heads, we havent bathed in five months. Well, guys, this morning President Trump called into fox thank you, beluga whale being rescued this week, for looking like your drunk friend at the party who needed help getting business and spent the majority his jacket on. Of the interview attacking [ light laughter ] different women. Listen to this lets get to some business news, as movie theaters across the country attempt to reopen, amc has come up with a way to [ laughter ] bring customers back what is your reaction to Kamala Harris . There you have it. Now you have a sort of a mad woman, i call her. Listen to this those are my thank you notes. Well be right back with more aoc was a poor student tonight show, everybody. Amc has announced that it is reopening its theaters next week and tickets will be just 15 cents on reopening day. Person i me, you cant claim that as a dependent. Nancy losi [ laughter ] looks like someone woke up on jimmy yep, for 15 cents you the wrong side of the my pillow can spend two hours in full [ light laughter ] panic wondering if it was worth it [ laughter ] because its inanimate mad woman, not smart and stone cold crazy [ sigh ] people ask. Yeah what sort of a person should become a celebrity accountant . Hes tough on the phone, but if he really had guts, hed say should i be doing this . And, i tell them, nobody should. All that on the view. [ light laughter ] questlove who has a dime and a nickel jimmy yeah, that too hey, buddy. Whats the damage . And just to drop a cherry on top of the misogyny sunday, [ on the phone ] i bought it old people are like, were the waterfall . Trump also sent a tweet calling going to go to the matinee nope my new volkswagen. Morning joes Mika Brzezinski because it only costs a dime a ditsy air head [ laughter ] a volkswagen . questlove the original, i think were having a breakthrough here. Seriously, if you had what the nickelodeon. A coworker who came in and jimmy yeah, exactly. Thats exactly what it is. Welcome to caesars palace. Said that kind of stuff about women, they wouldnt be your thank you. Coworker by the end of the they go, is this worth it . Day. Should i be all it takes is one person to its like, all right, ive go insulted everyone here [ cough im just going to get my coat. Im out. Tmobiles new offer on iphone 11 pro see myself out. Okay is even better on our most powerful signal. At this point our best shot at im good im good what am i doing . Trump attacking covid is someone telling him the virus in more serious news, i saw switch and get two new lines of unlimited for only 90 ovulates that pringles is now [ laughter ] [ laughter ] iphone 11 pros on us. Only at tmobile. If the election doesnt work out, trump can always get a job as the worst Hallmark Card writer ever. I saw that pringles is now selling a chip that tastes like a Wendys Baconator and they when better chickens are hatched, we will hatch them. Happy valentines day to my want people to dip them in frosties, in their milkshakes. Suburban housewife please dont become a cold its why all of the tyson chicken that bears his name stone, crazy, ditsy mad woman who goes out and yaps. Take a look at these things. Is raised with no antibiotics ever. Yeah, theyre actually trying out some new slogans every nugget, strip and drumstick. Check it out right now aoc is like, i double majored in economics and first theres, a personal pandemic for your insides. Keep it real. Keep it tyson. International relations. [ laughter ] you double majored in elephants my hygienist cleans with a round head, so does my oralb. And lunch. Next theres, honestly its probably safer to swallow the hingughter ] can. My hygienist personalizes my cleaning, so does my oralb. [ laughter ] fun fact, thats actually the old access hollywood bus with my hygienist uses just the right pressure, and so does my oralb. Then theres, they dont expire because they were never a new paint job. Okay to begin with. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] oralb combines a dentistinspired brush head next theres, just try not to think about how weird of a a couple mr. Pringle and wendy are. With the gentle energy of microvibrations meanwhile, the wienermobile saw that and was like, well, hello. For the wow of a professional clean feel every day. And finally, once you pop, your heart will stop. [ laughter ] also in his interview, trump my mouth says wow and so does my oralb. Discussed how democrats want just be careful when youre funding for the Postal Service and he said something kind of alarming and finally, this is going viral. Listen to this this skinny house in illinois was just sold for 260,000 they want 25 billion, scratch that, baby, im grateful. Ankf l. Billion, for the post office check this thing out look at this gotta say, its really been a while. Now, they need that money in look at that order to have the post office could you see it again but now i got back that smile. Work so it can take all of these millions and millions of put it up again. Smil ballots. Yeah check everything off the list with jeans from 8 if we dont make a deal, that means they dont get their its a skinny house. Money. Yeah and tees from 4. That means they cant have universal mailin voting when you put your mail through the front slot it just flies get ready for school at target. Out the back they just cant have it. [ light laughter ] im a verizon engineer and im part of the Team Building jimmy okay that house is the only thing in 5g ultra wideband. America that stayed skinny its already available in parts of select cities he just admitted that hes not agreeing to a deal to fund the during quarantine. [ light laughter ] and its rolling out in cities around the country. Postal service because he doesnt want mailin voting to be possible for the election right now every other house on the block is like, wait, am i fat . 25x faster than todays 4g networks. Yeah, the size of the house is its the fastest 5g in the world. Trump is like one of those just three feet wide, or as new yorkers call that, a movie villains who spends so much time explaining his plan a palace this is 5g built right. Out loud that the good guy manages to shimmy out of his handcuffs. Guys, we have a great show for [ laughter ] you tonight. From late night with first, im going to take your seth meyers, seth meyers is here tonight body, and then im going to put you in the piranha tank. [ applause ] then im going to get a buzz saw and the buzz saws slowly going to come right down the hes gone. Plus, he Just Announced his first live event in nearly a a decade, magician david blaine is here. [ laughter ] postal workers were like, how much less funding can you give [ applause ] us we dont even have pants. I cant just wait until you [ laughter ] see. I cant even i cant even talk about it. No one is happy about this in the special, hes going millions of americans wrote to trump angry letters about it he wants to fly away in a hot air holding balloons like up questlove yeah jimmy hes going to somehow see if he can pull that off, weather permitting but, what he does on the show tonight is its just i dont know remember last time you questlove threw up jimmy yes, you did throw up see, this will questlove top that jimmy yeah youll feel like youre right at home watching the same its honestly hes un an army family who is always at the ready. Hes unbelievable, that guy. So when they got a little surprise. Two . They didnt panic. They got a bigger car for their soontobebigger family. Real jimmy his magic is real. After shopping around for insurance, they called usaa who helped find the right coverage for them and even some muchneeded savings. That was the easy part. Usaa insurance is made the way liz and mike need it easy. Jimmy my first guest is the host of late night with seth meyers which airs weeknights at 12 35 a. M. Right here on nbc. Do i need to say that time here is our good friend, seth meyer yeah. I mean, just because i think there might be, like, five seconds between your show and my show. So, if people are trying to schedule something in between, just make sure youre back at 12 35 jimmy i guess when people setting their dvrs just to remind them when youre on, yeah its right exactly as our show ends, you begin. The 12, the 5 is the killer like, its bad enough. And again, i say this to a man who was also on at 12 35 its bad enough to be on at 12 30 at night but the fact that they pushed it to 12 35 makes it sound like its not real like, oh, im on jimmy youre this close. I have a tv show on at 12 35. Jimmy this close to infomercial time yeah, its like, you versus some the my pillow guy or something. Exactly jimmy the last time you were on our show was march 5th, is what im remembering, from research yeah. Jimmy and it was two weeks before 30 rock was shut down a week before jimmy a week before. It was a thursday it was a thursday and then we both canceled the following thursday jimmy but i mean, we talked we didnt shake hands. We joked about not shaking hands and then by mistake we were doing a bit we ended up touching each others faces. Well, i dont think it was and i believe i was saying that youre not supposed to touch your face, but nobody said anything about touching each others faces which is like haha. Jimmy no, thats right and the audience laughed and i laughed and then we did it we all had a grand old time with it. Jimmy boy, were we wrong wow. Yeah. Jimmy cut to five months later. Lets talk about this because youre doing a great job at home and, you know, we can actually talk because we do the same job yeah. Jimmy what was the most challenging parts of doing the show from home from you . I mean, you have to do everything you have to be your own everything yeah. In the beginning it was just figuring out, you know, the tech of it and we with things like a closer look which are really long scripts, we figured out a teleprompter app but you kind of have to set the speed in the beginning and youre kind of married to that speed. And obviously the source video can then be edited but nothing is worse than knowing that my staff is watching me when i screw up, like basically what it looks like, what they see is me going i screw up and im like and i have to lean forward and, like, do this. Jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah exactly right. But also, yeah, it changes the tempo of your joke reading too yeah. I think weve all figured out, like, you just got to move ahead a lot faster you know, its not that i think there was a sense that were all waiting for our laughs that arent there its more just that were programmed to work in front of an audience so you dont want to talk over laughs. You dont want to have people miss the setup for the next joke and it was just learning like, i dont think people at home jimmy thats a great way of putting it theyre laughing that hard that they no, its not the way it works for the television and when youre on at 12 35, youre probably being watched by someone who is next to a person who is sleeping so, i dont think theyre laughing that hard jimmy it is very it cools you right down when you tell a joke and theres no response, doesnt it it is well thats still the great thing about no audience, is everything plays the same, right . So, i think the hardest thing is when you have a joke play to silence in a room full of people but having operated, now, like 60plus shows with no audience, the good ones sound just like the bad ones you know, theyre all jimmy yeah, yeah that was a crusher joke. Nothing jimmy nothing. Still. Nothing. Of course theres no audience. And i think theres two ways of looking at it you could either go, man, i havent had a laugh for four months, or you can just say, like, im on a roll. Everything is exactly the same one after the other, nothing jimmy consistency. Well done, jimmy i love this is your second location i love the set now of your where is this set . Were in our my inlaws house. These are my wifes parents, tom and joan theyve been very kind to let me find a corner andvbeen espe kind because ive just used a lot of their terrible artwork and let it become characters in the show jimmy i know that the sea captain is a very prominent sidekick on your show and i love it. And hes now become a character on the show, as the duck, is as well, that wooden duck yeah. Really theyre really polarizing characters. A lot of people on twitter make it very clear, day in and day out, they really dont like it and i just like to stress to them its not going to happen for a lot longer no one is coming back to me with new york city they belong to the sea and they dont want to be they dont want to be on manhattan. But, yeah, its been fun basically the show has slowly turned into peewees playhouse and im happy about it jimmy he was ahead of his time does the captain want to say anything to me could i talk to the sea captain . I did tell the captain i was coming on your show tonight. And captain, do you have anything you want to say to jimmy . All right, jimmy, i love the roots jimmy thats so nice thank you, sea captain thank you for being on the show thats so that voice sounds familiar oh, my gosh. The voice sounds familiar and the most again, i cant even give a hint as to who the voice is because were playing it real close to the vest. Jimmy once that comes out, fo s texting a person that you and i both know, a bunch of lines with no context and getting a text back in a sea captain voice jimmy its well done are your inlaws are they happy that youre there or how is that they were pretty happy because i think they were bragging it up to their friends, you know, that their home had become a studio but they were a little unhappy because totally tongue in cheek and shame on me, but we did a bit in a closer look where i said, hey, we would love to hear what you think about the sea captain. So what wed like you to do is google sea captain, then print that page off your computer, and then either write yes or no and mail it to your best guess as to where my inlaws live. And, well, some people did some amateur sleuthing, jimmy, and we received like 30 letters. Now, in the middle of a pandemic what youre not super looking for is mail from strangers. Jimmy oh, my gosh. And so pretty much every day my inlaws are like, wait, why are we getting this mail . Because ive been in this house before no one has ever sent fan mail. And it is definitely a bummer to have to tell them, here is why the mail is coming i made a dumb joke and people decided to engage with it. Jimmy hopefully that stops soon the sea captain the best thing is, is that someone from australia sent us a letter and the best part about it was their vote was no they hated the sea captain so much, they sent a letter from australia. Jimmy and made it all the way from australia to say no more sea captain this is your next location will be 30 rock. Yeah, were coming back soon and i want to thank you and your whole crew and everybody you basically have like, i think, set the tone and basically taken all the risks on behalf of us. So, thank you so much. Jimmy its its really a bizarre time to be in this building i think youre going to be nbc is doing an amazing job with this thing, taking it very seriously. But theres no camera operators right now. Theyre robots and theres no its theres one stage manager, has a mask and a shield its definitely different. But it how is higgins taking finding out hes nonessential . Jimmy hes loving life are you kidding me he is so happy hes doing voiceovers from his house, hes like sending me pictures of jumping in the pool and stuff. I go he is today is his birthday, by the way happy birthday to Steve Higgins oh, it is happy birthday, higbuns there you go thats great to hear jimmy more with seth meyers when we come back, everybody vo businesses are always making choices. Heres a choice you dont have to make. The largest 5g network. Awardwinning customer satisfaction. Or insanely great value. Now, with tmobile for business, theres no compromise. Network. Support. Value. Choose. Any. Three. Tmobile for business ready when you are. I like big jeans. Ittybitty jeans. Feelin trendy yall, with the straight jeans showin off those curves, cause you the queen everyone go slay in your Old Navy Jeans welcome to denim america. With fits for the whole fam. Only at old navy and oldnavy. Com over time, you go noseblind to the odors in your home. bacun upbeat music thats why febreze plug has two alternating hoscs. Breathe happy febreze. La la la la la. Only lexus asks questions like these, because we believe the most amazing machines are inspired by you. Experience the rewards of our curiosity. cat cat 2 frisklook orld cat 1 theyre ramping it up with real meat and fish cat 2 now, sauce it cat 1 friskies stufd saucd cat 2 flavor grilled cat 2 its mealtime magic vo feed their fantasy. Friskies cat 1 look friskies lil soups and lil grillers tasty who knows where that button is . I dont have silent. Everyone does right up here. It happens to all of us. We buy a new home, and we turn into our parents. What i do is help new homeowners overcome this. What is that, an adjustable spanner . Good choice, steve. Okay, dont forget youre not assisting him. You hired him. If you have nowhere to sit, you have too many. Who else reads books about submarines . My dad. Yeah. Oh, those are progressive cant protect you from becoming your parents, but we can protect your home and auto when you bundle with us. Look at that. When you bundle with us. If i could, baby id how can i, when you wont take it from me you can go your own go your own way only with xfinity mobile. Jimmy welcome back, e