Steve from Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon. Tonight join jimmy and his guests leslie mann, colin quinn, musical guest saint jhn, and featuring the legendary roots crew and now here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause jimmy thank you very much, hello. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Oh, wow. That is a friday crowd right there. Hey, welcome everybody welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. [ cheers and applause thank you so much for watching well, lets get to the news and jokes. Guys, everyone is still talking about Rudy Giulianis press conference and i mean, by now, weve all seen what happened with the hair dye, which is still insane i still cant believe that, that was real, but it was real but something you might have missed was what he did with his handkerchief and this, just watch this [ audience ohs ] that is true. It is somehow related to this, but i do not know whether good guys got it or bad guys got it i dont know [ talking over each other jimmy oh my gosh i can only hear one person at the time. Jimmy oh my. [ laughter ] wow. I think rudys trying to single handedly trying to start covid20 [ light laughter ] seriously, when it saw that clip, even covid19 immediately put on a mask. Its like, oh gosh if thats what rudy does on national tv, i dont want to see what he does at home its like [ light laughter ] also, why do i get the feeling rudy has been using the same dinner napkin since 1974 [ light laughter ] its my lucky napkin. Rudys having a brutal 2020. I mean, a month ago, he got caught on film sticking his hand down his pants. Wasnt even close to his worst moment [ light laughter ] i mean, not surprisingly, today, it came out that giuliani and other key members of trumps legal team have been exposed to the coronavirus but this is nice, rudy is offering to share his wet hanky with anyone who needs it [ light laughter ] rudy was tested and thankfully, the results were negative. Which raises the question, how [ light laughter ] how is that possible im going to the store, ive got like 20 masks on, im wearing gloves and this guy is rubbing snot all over his face [ light laughter ] yep, when they gave rudy the covid test, you could almost hear the swab going, no, no, no dont stick me you know what, i had a good run. I had a good run. Speaking of the pandemic, today pfizer announced they have officially applied for emergency authorization for their vaccine, which means it could be approved for use as early as mid december. Yeah apparently pfizer saw that Rudy Giuliani press conference and thought, we better hurry [ laughter ] [ applause ] i mean, this is, if theres one, theres more than one i dont know how i feel about an emergency vaccine im not sure i like the feeling of someone running up to me, like, quickly inject this. [ laughter ] earlier today, trump held a press conference to talk about drug prices. Then he kicked things off by discussing the election. Watch this big pharma ran millions of dollars of negative advertisements against me during the campaign, which i won, by the way. But, you know, well find that out. Almost 74 million votes. [ light laughter ] jimmy as soon as trump said that, the ceo of twitter ran in and said, this claim has been disputed keep going. Trump still cant accept losing if youre wondering why we have participation trophies, this is exactly why. [ laughter and applause there are no losers we all won. [ light laughter ] trump was like, 74 million, you round that up, its 100 million which you can then round up to a billion. So, how about that, folks, a a billion votes. [ light laughter ] speaking of trump, i saw that judges in arizona, pennsylvania, and georgia have all thrown out lawsuits from the trump administration, but he continues to dish out more. Im starting to think he doesnt understand how the law works. I mean, just check out the responses when he was asked about basic legal terms. When asked what liquidation means, trump said, what happened to rudys face yesterday. [ laughter ] when asked what docket is, he said, those khakis that Steve Kornacki wears those are dockets. [ laughter and applause next up for habeas corpus, he said, what harry potter yelled when he killed voldemort. [ laughter and applause he kept going. For mandate, trump said, what mike pence doesnt approve of. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter and applause and finally, for precedent, he said, what ill still be in january thanks to the billion people, the billion people who voted. [ laughter and applause heres a big tech story. Apple has agreed to pay 113 million for slowing down old iphones on purpose yup, nothing teaches a company a lesson like fining them. 0005 of their total worth. [ light laughter ] theyll never do that again. [ light laughter ] oops questove oops. Jimmy oopsie there you go sorry. Im sorry. Sorry about that finally, i saw that, did you see this a british magician just set a world record for performing tricks in an interesting place take a look at this. A magician in england set the record for the most magic tricks underwater in three minutes. He had 20 tricks jimmy you could tell he was running out of tricks when magic trick number 18 was just shrinkage. [ laughter ] its good that he was underwater he couldnt hear the kids say, we should have hired a clown. [ laughter and applause we have a great show give it up for the roots, everybody. [ cheers and applause jimmy we have a great show for you tonight. She stars in the new animated movie, the croods a new age. Leslie mann is here. [ cheers and applause plus his book, overstated a coasttocoast roast of the 50 states is out now and you can see his latest special, colin quinn and friends, a parking lot comedy show on hbo max. Colin quinn is here. [ cheers and applause and weve got great music from saint jhn, everybody [ cheers and applause like i said, one of our guests tonight is colin quinn, the great colin quinn and he has a a book out called overstated where he basically roasts every state in the u. S its funny and you can just read it in any order its a good book well, i wanted to put him to the test, so now its time for overstated with colin quinn. Overstate overstated overstate overstated jimmy colin, colin, are you there . Oh, i see you. Oh, yes jimmy wow, yeah. Colin, i thought we could go through some states and you can give them a quick roasting does that sound okay sure. Jimmy first of all, how are you doing . Are you okay oh, i dont know why you would you should have said that before you said the jimmy i know, i know, i know, i know i understand [ light laughter ] i admit, im sorry i know you just started this jimmy but it wasnt on the teleprompter, but yeah, you look good, and i hope youre okay ooh, it wasnt on the teleprompter [ light laughter ] jimmy its not about being a big shot thats the way acting like im trying to no, i wasnt calling you a big shot i was making a dumb joke that it wasnt on the teleprompter, i couldnt read it [ laughter ] jimmy oh my god. I guess weve started with the first roast already. [ laughter ] oh my gosh how about this, colin . Arizona. What could you say about arizona . I call them the instagram state, cause theyre beautiful but empty. [ laughter and applause jimmy how about how about ohio ohios like the middle, like the nice theyre like your nice friend that waits in the car while youre hooking up with somebody in the house [ laughter ] theyll sit there and wait to drive you home [ laughter ] jimmy florida. Florida is the hot mess that you want to hang out with, but you always end up getting arrested with them [ laughter ] jimmy okay, last state pennsylvania i dont want to do pennsylvania cause youre gonna feel like its an attack on you, but its not. Jimmy why . All right, ill do it but dont be paranoid, okay . [ light laughter ] the joke is, its a state thats kind of like started, but it almost fell apart, then it came back strong. You might call it like the fever pitch of states. [ laughter ] [ rim shot ] thats a nickname. [ cheers and applause i didnt make up that nickname thats the state nickname. Jimmy how how do i not take that personally how do i not take that personally how do i not take that personally give it up for colin quinn, everybody. [ cheers and applause well be talking more with colin later in the show. Stick around, everybody. Come on back wow. [ cheers and applause vo when subaru shares the lov good things happen. Over sixtyfour thousand pets supported. Over twentyfive hundred wishes granted. Over two million meals provided. Over four hundred National Parks protected. In fact, subaru and our retailers will have proudly donated over two hundred Million Dollars to national and Hometown Charities through the subaru share the love event. vo get 0 for 63 months and subaru will donate 250 dollars to charity. Black friday into deals for days. Starting wed 11 25 shop online only and score deals like a 299 Nintendo Switch bundle with mario kart. Lets end the year saving bigger. Nintendo switch when panhe doesnt justs mmake a pizza. 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We really need to limit thunks window time. Not now. The birds are on. In my day we fought them. Let me live my life its following your passion to bto the very top. And setting the standard by which all who follow, will be measured. Tequila herradura, the worlds most gold medal awarded tequila. Its following your passion to bto the very top. And setting the standard by which all who follow, will be measured. Tequila herradura, the worlds most gold medal awarded tequila. [ cheers and applause jimmy i like that. That was a good groove right there. Love that. [ cheers and applause that was nice. I appreciate it. Guys, welcome back you know, its friday and its usually when i take care of some business. You know, i get some things done, but the day just completely got away from me. I spent the whole afternoon doing razor scooter tricks for tiktok [ laughter ] questlove word jimmy and, uh, yeah, i completely forgot to write out my weekly thank you notes. My thankies. And rudys got his hanky, i got my thankies. You know what im saying now, its during the show, i understand that, i realize this, but we are live. Not really, on tape, and not even on tape, but on a hard drive. But if you dont mind, i thought id take out time to write out my thank you notes right now. Is that cool with everyone here [ cheers and applause james, can i get a little thank you note music, please oh, wow. Thank you, trumps twitter account postelection for basically being the calorie menu at a cinnabon we all now youre there, but were just going to try to pretend you dont exist. [ applause ] i know its 2,000 calories, but come on. Thank you, pepsis new bottles, for looking like everyone in quarantine trying on pants they havent worn since march [ light laughter ] [ applause ] give me that groove. Give me that song again. Thank you, dolly parton, for helping to fund the moderna covid19 vaccine vaccine vaccin vaccine [ cheers and applause we love you, dolly thank you, zoom thanksgiving, for allowing families to give their dinner the same rules as a president ial debate. The next topic is, when should cousin jeffrey get married grandma, you have two minutes for your Opening Statement [ laughter ] [ applause ] thank you, new glutenfree oreos, for making doctors everywhere say, thats great and all, but the gluten really wasnt the issue. [ laughter ] [ applause ] thank you, ear muffs, or as i like to call you, heats by dre [ laughter ] there you have it. Those are the thank you notes. Well be right back with leslie mann, everyone. Cmon. [ cheers and applause so, uh, yeah, just a silly mistake. I guess i look pretty. Ridiculous. [ chuckles ] no one looks ridiculous, bob. Progressive is always here for you with roundtheclock service. Just so you know, next time, you can submit a claim with our mobile app. Good. Thanks again for for rushing over. Are you kidding . This is what 24 7 protection looks like. Okay. You smell like fish. Sorry. I was talking to jamie. You smell like fish. Sorry. Ojust one jar of olay retinol24 . Hydrates better than the 100 retinol cream. For smooth, bright skin or your money back. Olay. Face anything. And try new retinol24 max. Ius become just a littleyou part of your holiday. And we sincerely hope that jimmy dean sausage might make your holiday just a little bit brighter. Happy holiday to ya. Whoa someone please help of course. Youre tenacious, ill give you that its ok, im ok. [heavy breathing] where are you . Coming lets do this yeaahh its on woooo whoa. [heavy breathing] rated rp to t. How can i, when you wont take it from me you can go your own way xfinity mobiles fast nationwide 5g network meets the first iphone with 5g. Get the new iphone 12 on xfinity mobile. And right now get 250 off. Learn more at an xfinity store today. Jimmy my first guest is a talented actress who stars in the new animated movie, the croods a new age, which is in theatres november 25th here she is, one of our favorites, leslie mann hey hey hi jimmy oh my gosh you look great thank you so much for coming to the show thanks for i mean, for coming on the show, not coming to the show. Were zooming. Im so happy to be here im so happy to see you. Jimmy how are you . How is the family . Is everyone doing well we are, were doing well. Were healthy, knock wood. Jimmy yeah everybodys healthy jimmy good, good, good and you know, it was a little, its kind of like weve gotten used to things a little bit being, but in the beginning, it was really hard, it was much, you know, my husband, judd, was freaking out a little bit [ laughter ] jimmy judd was freaking out. He was freaking out jimmy yeah hes really stressed out and kind of like a big jerk, but because he was stressed out. [ laughter ] jimmy what is he like when hes stressed out . Hes just kind of, like, well he does this thing where hes very hairy. Jimmy uhhuh i dont know if you know that by looking, because he usually has clothes on jimmy yeah i wouldnt know. But without clothes, like the hair doesnt stop. It just, its all the way, like head to toe thick hair jimmy wow, okay. [ laughter ] okay and he does this thing where hes like stress sheds so when hes not wearing clothes, like hes usually Walking Around in his underwear, like if he sits on a chair or lays on a bed [ laughter ] his hair just kind of like releases, like it just falls off. Jimmy so theres like an outline theres an outline of his body yes like a chalk outline of a man. [ laughter ] jimmy thats judds hair that he sheds . So much hair. Oh, its crazy because when you look at him jimmy that is funny. It doesnt look like its, you know, any thinner than before [ laughter ] jimmy oh my god. Its like it knows how to replenish. Jimmy oh, my god its just as thick as ever. Jimmy oh, god. But hes also shedding, its kind of its shocking. Jimmy its a scientific thing. [ laughter ] i really want to know the background of it and hes calmed down now. Hes kind of hes calmed down. Jimmy yeah hes better now jimmy how about you . Yeah, hes doing much better jimmy what things have you been doing in quarantine i have been, well, i thought that i would learn to play piano or start reading the classics or something and [ laughter ] jimmy me too i didnt do any of that ive mainly just been, like, on instagram and jimmy its really fun. Its so much fun. Jimmy yeah and it made me happy, like, you know, during the darkest times, having all of those great cat videos to watch. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah yeah i know those yeah, it just makes you happy. It makes you so happy and we have two cats who we love so much, honey and pumpkin, and theyve just changed our lives for the better in every way and so we made cat videos. We made one cat video. The whole family got together, we made a shot list. It was the cats making dinner for us video [ laughter ] jimmy oh, my god and we did a whole thing with the cats and yeah, it was great. Jimmy is this i have a note here that there might be a World Exclusive cat video. It is it is. Jimmy this is not aired anywhere this is debuting on our show its debuting, yep, on your show jimmy im you guys ready . If everyone at home, are you ready for the magic . Here is leslie mann, judd apatow and their daughters, maude and iris. Take a look. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] so good [ applause ] jimmy wow. That is honestly, theres so many parts of that, that i love thats my favorite cat video ive seen during all of quarantine isnt that good jimmy dude, cutting her paw, pulling her paw away for that [ laughter ] thats so good pushing the pie down oh, my and carrying the pie out. [ laughter ] jimmy and she made a pretty good chicken dish. Not bad. Right [ laughter ] how cute is that theyre the best jimmy oh, my gosh. And its just so much fun jimmy honey and pumpkin. Honey and pumpkin jimmy well done, well done thank you were proud of it. Jimmy yeah i also saw another video that you posted and i love the whole idea of it and its two great people cameron diaz, who we love, and you guys are roller skating buddies. Well, i brought some skates over to camerons one day. And we were drinking her new avaline wine jimmy its good. Its very good. And too good and we had a couple of glasses of wine. And then we decided to, like, you know, roller skate and do some stunts, which is probably not a great idea im really but it was really fun. Jimmy sure but im basically, it was me going jimmy over backwards over her whole body but going backwards, grabbing a glass of wine, drinking it, and not spilling it. Jimmy no, i love the effect was cool because i was like, wait, whats happening, then i go, whoa, here you come. Scoop and backward [ laughter ] look, its brilliant, actually i love that you know how to do that it was awesome it was a total accident jimmy so, talk to me about this so you didnt plan on posting this well, i was trying no, no, no, we were going to post it, but i dont know how to do that stuff, you know if i posted anything in the past, my kids have done it. And so i was doing it myself and my eyesight is kind of bad and the writing is really small and i was like, looking at the jimmy im the worst. You know, theres a share and then right below it, save to drop. Jimmy yes. And i was just pressing, share, share, this isnt working, maybe i dont kno