Seth meyers. Tonight Peter Dinklage comedian rory scovel an all new closer look, featuring the 8g band with adrian young [ cheers and applause and now, Seth Meyers Seth good evening. Im seth meyers. This is late night. We hope youre doing well. Now, if you dont mind, were going to get to the news well, its about to be a big summer for sequels specifically, dune 2 and dune this again. [ laughter ] former President Trump said yesterday in a post on truth social that he will debate President Biden, quote, any time, anywhere, anyplace and then biden said, same, except for fridays at 10 00. [ laughter ] Senate Minority leader Mitch Mcconnell yesterday endorsed former President Trump and then got some very fair questions. How do you reconcile your trump endorsement with the fact that you called him practically and morally responsible for january 6th and the fact that he insulted you and your wife repeatedly [ laughter ] seth oof this is the first time mcconnell just pretended to freeze [ laughter ] oops, sorry, cant answer questions, its happening again. [ light laughter ] texas senator ted cruz criticized boeings lack of cooperation with a Transportion Department investigation yesterday and said it was, quote, utterly unacceptable. Cruz wants to ensure that air travel is completely safe in case theres another Natural Disaster in his state. [ light laughter ] a texas man was arrested yesterday on charged he allegedly tried to scam former congressman George Santos by claiming he could help him get his criminal charges dropped nice try, buddy, but you cant scam a scammer [ light laughter ] santos heard your plan and immediately said, oh, ive tried that one, that doesnt work. [ light laughter ] in a newly surfaced video, North Carolina gubernatorial candidate Mark Robinson said that he would, quote, absolutely want to go back to the america where women couldnt vote. Especially now after saying that out loud [ laughter ] in a post on x, Arizona Senate candidate kari lake spelled former republican hopeful nikki haleys birth name incorrectly. Well, im not surprised. Racism and typos go together like donald and tatump [ laughter ] president ial candidate dean phillips announced yesterday that hes suspending his campaign sorry, our Graphics Department couldnt figure out who that was. [ laughter ] the makers of Hidden Valley ranch dressing yesterday unveiled a new cheeseit flavor which features real cheese and that, you guys, that is the real state of the union. [ laughter and applause according to a new study, people with microplastics lodged in major arteries may have a higher risk of stroke man, everything we used to think was healthy turns out to be bad for you. [ light laughter ] sethie, finish your microplastics so you can grow big and strong. The World Health Organization warned this week that there is an outbreak of a bacterial infection known as parrot fever. Huh. I wonder what the symptoms are oh, no [ laughter ] i its all a little downhill from there [ laughter ] the food Company Oscar Mayer announced yesterday that it will launch a plantbased hot dog, and for accuracys sake, it will be made from the plant sorry. [ laughter ] i got excited. I got excited. [ cheers and applause i got excited. And i think i laughed before i dont think they know i dont think i tipped the punchline. [ light laughter ] yeah [ light laughter ] im going to do it straight, but i lied when i said its all downhill from [ laughter ] the polly wanna cracker joke which, oh, youll all be acting out when you get home. [ light laughter ] you just need the one cracker. The food Company Oscar Mayer announced yesterday that it will launch a plantbased hot dog, and for accuracys sake, it will be made from the plants buttholes. [ laughter ] now if i remember how saltines work, ill be ready for the next joke in about an hour. [ laughter ] and finally, in honor of spring, starbucks launched a new drink today called the iced lavender oat milk latte and theres a good chance that after hot yoga class, youll launch it too. [ laughter ] and that was the monologue, everybody. Were off and running. [ cheers and applause weve got a great show for you tonight. You know him from game of thrones and cyrano. His new film american dreamer is in theaters tomorrow. Peter dinklage is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause and yeah. Hes a fantastic comedian. His new special, rory scovel religion, sex and a few things in between, excuse me, is streaming on max right now it is so funny and so great. Im so happy hes here [ cheers and applause rory scovels joining us but before we get on all of that, President Biden laid out his agenda in the state of the Union Address tonight. By contrast, polls show that somehow, most voters dont actually know or remember what trump has said what he would do at as president. So what exactly is trumps agenda for a second term, and just how extreme is it for more on this its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause seth we tape this in the afternoon, so i dont know how bidens speech went. But im reasonably certain that it did happen, which is already more than some are willing to stomach. We want to stop him from actually delivering the state of the union. Now some republican lawmakers are considering a bill that will prohibit the house or Senate Leadership from inviting biden to address congress. He comes at the invitation of congress the republicans are in charge of the house. Theres no reason that we need to invite him. Seth i love how bidens always trying to make bipartisanship happen and republicans respond by going, i think we should be allowed to brick up all his doors so he cant leave the house. [ light laughter ] the state of the union is a sacred constitutional duty and youre talking about it the way suzie on curb talks about hosting a dinner party you know what, lar, if you dont like the food, then get the [ bleep ] out of here. Theres no reason to invite you you foureyed [ bleep ]. Now maybe im being hard on republicans. Sure, maybe theyre just petulant children that cant stand the idea of President Biden at the state of the union. Or maybe they missed vice President Biden at the state of the union. I mean, look at this i dont remember [ laughter ] i dont remember a single thing barack obama said at the state of the union but i remember the finger guns, and i remember thinking, if hes doing that, the state of the union must be pretty [ bleep ] rad [ laughter ] you know what we need, we need obama to come back and do the state of the union just so biden can sit behind him and mug for the camera in 2014, it was finger guns. This time, it will be aviators and ice cream. [ light laughter ] or hear me out, we use a combination of artificial intelligence, nanotechnology, and Nuclear Fission to create an unstoppable Chain Reaction that rips a hole in the spacetime continuum, allowing 2014 joe biden to sit behind 2024 joe biden [ laughter ] oh, oh, whats that, Christopher Nolan . That was going to be your next movie . Well, too late, i called it, oppenbiden. No, wait, bidenheimer, there you go [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause 2014 biden can shoot finger guns and flash that toothy grin whenever 2024 joe biden needs to spice things up. The state of the unions strong, folks, im not kidding around im not joking around, just ask this guy. Hey, who wants a pina colada . Chad, becky, dave, dave, you want a twisty straw, dave . Hey, brad, go long instead, well get the much more boring spectacle of House Speaker mike johnson sitting behind biden tonight hes already endorsed trump and said this week trump would help Republicans Win Congress in november how big are trumps coat tails this year . Well, his coattails are humongous. Seth well if hes [ light laughter ] wearing this coat, then sure i mean when trump says hes got republicans in his pocket, he means it literally. Any day now were going to see ted cruzs little head pop out of that thing. [ laughter ] wed love a few more crumbs, sir, whenever you get a chance. Also, theres something so lame about a guy like mike johnson using the word humongous. Its like when your dad tries to use the word slay. Hey, kids, let me ask you a question i stan this new lawnmower but your mom says it sus what do you guys think is it cringe, or does it slay . [ laughter ] is it giving suburbia lets show hands any cringes . Im not seeing any slays no slays starting to think were not doing this no cap . [ light laughter ] now in advance of todays speech, biden posted a video online with a group of actors who played president s on tv and in movies, including bill pullman, morgan freeman, and geena davis. Im sorry, but this should be a huge scandal where the [ bleep ] are Harrison Ford and martin sheen [ light laughter ] gathering a group of fictional president s without president bartlet is like putting together a supergroup of new jersey musicians without bruce springsteen. Nobodys spending 600 on ticketmaster to watch jon bon jovi harmonize with hologram Frank Sinatra [ light laughter ] when biden invited Harrison Ford, did harrison turn around and say, get off my plane and did biden respond by saying, jokes on you, i couldnt get on the plane [ laughter ] now if youre looking for some analysis of bidens speech, after its over there are plenty of reputable places to go and trustworthy journalists to follow for serious, sober discussion or good faith criticism. Or if you want to feel like you just inhaled a cocktail of ketamine, asbestos, and venison, you can crawl into the dark corners of the weird wide web and watch this dweeb we will be live this thursday night after the state of the Union Address, as if you need his guidence on the state of the union. You already know we will be up on tuckercarlson. Com, here on x, across the internet live thursday night seth ooh, i cant wait to find out if biden covered any of the tuckers favorite topics like tanning your testicles, eating insects, the awesomeness of putin, or the [ bleep ] of the green m m. Joe biden didnt say one word in his speech tonight about whether the green m m gets him rock hard, why is that . [ light laughter ] could it be that hes secretly pansexual and is attracted to all the m m characters even [ laughter ] even the homely ones . Is he planning a secret orgy at the white house with various food mascots of all genders and sexualities like mr. Jelly belly, tony the tiger, the koolaid man, the jolly green giant, toucan sam, and the peeps. And if so, why hasnt he invited me . [ laughter ] as you may know, tucker recently got some blowback after Walking Around a russian Grocery Store with his mind blown like hes never been to a [ bleep ] aldi and conducting a softball interview with Vladimir Putin while making a series of faces that looked like he got kicked in the balls, then walked in on his parents having sex, then kind of kind of liked it, then accidentally [ bleep ] his pants. [ light laughter ] but dont worry, everybody tucker had a rocksolid defense against all that criticism the idea that id be flacking for putin when, you know, my relatives fought in the revolutionary war. Like im as american as you could be seth some rich kids pull a, do you know who my father is . Tucker pulled a, do you know you know who my great great great great grandfather is . He was the one with the bowtie who got bayonetted in the back you cant use ancestors who are long dead, before you were born, as a defense for your current behavior although maybe thats how far tucker has to go back to find a relative who wasnt a whitehot prick. His great great great great grandfather fought in the revolutionary war, but then that guys son probably wrote a pamphlet called, were the redcoats actually that bad . [ laughter ] with that said, im sure tuckers reaction to bidens speech tonight will be full of insights i wonder how hell feel about it will tucker be confused, baffled, bewildered, befuddled, perplexed, perturbed, puzzled, amazed, aghast, agog, flustered, flummoxed, dazed, distracted, startled, astonished, stunned, surprised, aroused [ laughter ] now one thing we know about bidens speech without seeing it is that, per tradition, he probably pointed out some honored guest in the room. Usually when you do that, you name them so you can have a moment of recognition and applause by contrast, at trumps victory speech on super tuesday he implied that there were a bunch of superfamous people in the room but suspiciously left them unnamed. This is an Incredible Group of people so many celebrities that im not going to introduce any because im just going to get myself in trouble if i do that, because ill leave out most of you but we have this is a room chock full of incredible talented people, like some of the guys standing right in front of me, right big, big futures big, fat, beautiful futures, oh, id love to be your age. Id pay you a lot of money to be your age seth are you are you okay, man . [ laughter ] i never thought is donald trump depressed . Id love be your age, i would make some very different choices, but sadly, here i am in the winter of my years a soulless husk of a man facing years of imprisonment, years i dont have and a half a billion dollars in fines. Dollars i also dont have. A big, a big fat future, sadly not for me. [ light laughter ] i can only reflect on my big fat past, so fat so fat, my past. [ laughter ] also, i love trumps gambit of pretending there celebrities in the audience and thinking hell get away with it because we cant see whos in the crowd so many alisters here, you cant see them, and i wont name them, but lets just say its an honor to have them here. Tom hanks, oprah, beyonce, kate middleton, dont look around for them, theyre in disguise. [ laughter ] just keep looking at me, they dont want anyone to know theyre here so i smuggled them into the room tonight in my giant coat. [ laughter ] so trumps now the presumptive gop nominee. And i know, sometimes it feels like everything that can possibly be said about donald trump has already been said but shockingly, polls show that most voters are actually somehow unaware of trumps most extreme statements and promises. A new survey found that only 31 of respondents said they previously had heard a lot about these statements by trump. Its hard to focus on say his very specific detailed plans to weaponize the justice department, jail his opponents, use the military to stamp out protests, conduct Mass Immigration raids when he cant even complete a [ bleep sentence without his brain busting into flames like a recalled tesla we are a nation that just recently heard that saudi arabia and russia will oh [ laughter ] seth what just happened . Oh, i bet the sexy green m m popped into his head [ laughter ] trump has either hinted or explicitly promised he will use a second term to arrest opponents, conduct sweeping raids and deportations, cut taxes again for the wealthiest americans, try again to repeal obamacare and take Health Insurance away from millions of people, and pass a National Abortion ban hes just hoping you dont notice because when he talks about passing a National Abortion ban, hes so incoherent about it a lot of democrats said that no Government Official should ever get between a doctor and her patient. Dobbs said 15 weeks. Right thats just about a little over first trimester so more and more im hearing about 15 weeks and i havent decided yet. But largely, theyre coming in with a certain number of weeks and the number 15 is mentioned i havent agreed to any number im going to see seth what the [ bleep ] do you mean you havent decided yet . [ light laughter ] youre running for president youre talking about one of the most urgent political questions of our time. Like you cant decide between chicken or fish at a restaurant. I like the fish, i like the chicken, more and more im hearing about the pasta. [ light laughter ] trump has bragged about overturning roe v. Wade and stripping lifesaving medical caraway from millions of americans, and his allies have a detailed plan to ban abortion care nationwide. Trump is just hoping voters will forget about all of that, because when you ask him a basic question about his agenda for a second term, he sounds like one of tuckers relatives getting bayonetted in the revolutionary war. Will be oh [ laughter ] seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause well be right back with Peter Dinklage, everybody. [ cheers and applause announcer for more of seths closer looks, be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. I love your dress. 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