We have distraught white men, upset asian men, or men feeling unnerved together, an auditorium full of anxious men. Even a worried guy on a toilet. So visit menwithhandsontheir foreheads. Com today and find the perfect image that says, ill never be able to retire. Now hiring for head models. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight the leave us alone star state. Plus, stephen welcomes Amanda Seyfried, Jacob Tremblay brady noon, and keith l. Williams. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert a cheers and applause stephen come on hi i ran a little faster. Beautiful wonderful how delightful thank you so much. Please, have a seat, everybody. Welcome. Welcome, one and all, in here, out there, to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. The country cheers and applause the country you can feel it out there. The country is still stunned by the mass thatsing this past weekend. And one of the disheartening aspects of the aftermath of one of these tragedies is how predictable every stage of it will be. It makes it feel like youre living the same tragedy over and over again. One of the stages of that tragic cycle is the president going to the community shattered by this violence. For instance, tomorrow, the president is going to el paso. But heres Something Different they dont think he should come. El pasos congresswoman Veronica Escobar said this on msnbc from my perspective, he is not welcome here. He should not come here while we are in mourning. Stephen it really speaks to your leadership when a town in mourning an unspeakable tragedy thinks you would bring the mood down. laughter escobar explained that, given trumps history of hateful rhetoric, he should know why hes unwelcome. I would encourage the president s Staff Members to have him do a little selfreflection. Stephen oh, i think he does plenty of selfreflection. as trump morning, handsome. Lookin fleshy today. Whos got two thumbs and is ready to demonize some immigrants . This guy applause she thinks trump is partially responsible for the shooting because of his rhetoric. And its not helping that the el paso shooting suspects manifesto echoes trumps language. That is upsetting. To call what trump speaks a language. laughter now, there is one public official who is welcoming trump to the city, el paso mayor dee margo. Well, welcoming, sort of. This is the office of the mayor of el paso in an official capacity, welcoming the office of the president of the united states, which i consider is my formal duty. laughter stephen that is some obligatory enthusiasm. I would like to see that guys wedding vows. I am now entering into the formal and legal arrangement of marriage, whereby i, the office of husband, take you, the office of wife, to be a bride. I will now touch my lips to yours, which i consider my formal duty. Laugh now, theres another reason cheers and applause beautiful. I love a wedding. I love a wedding jon oh, yeah. Nice to see a nice wedding. Stephen theres another reason this visit is going to be a little awkward. Trump held a maga rally in el paso back in february, and he still owes the city more than 470,000. as trump look, it is too soon after this tragedy to talk about things like gun control or the money i owe you. laughter i, for one, refuse to politicize me not wanting to pay you back. In fact, donal trump is so late in paying back el paso that the city has also imposed late fees, which bring the bill to more than 500,000. Well, sure. Sure. Its the vig that gets you. Donny, donny t. s in deep to the juice man. Id say two guys are gonna come break his kneecaps, but im not sure theres any more bone left. At this point, i think its just meat and mascarpone cheese down there. Mmm. Mmm. I could go for a little. I could go for a little kneecap. applause now, the city of el paso claims they sent trump multiple invoices since the event and even sent him a letter nope. Trump famously doesnt pay anybody he owes 20,000 to the leaveapenny, takeapenny industry. And its not like he doesnt have the cash. In the Second Quarter this year, Trumps Campaign and the Republican National committee raised 105 million. I mean, the last time trump made that kind of money, he got it from a shadowy donor known as dad. Yesterday cheers and applause yesterday, we heard from someone whose name doesnt come up that often anymore 44th president and man three minutes into a conversation with someone whose name he cant remember, barack obama. Now, in the wake, in the wake cheers and applause i know. I know. Jon cant beat that. Stephen wow. Yall remember him, i guess. Now, in the wake of this weekends tragedies, barack obama released a rare statement, saying, we should soundly reject language coming out of the mouths of any of our leaders that feeds a climate of fear and hatred or normalizes racist sentiments. And its time for the overwhelming majority of americans of goodwill, of every race and faith and Political Party to say as much clear and unequivocally. Oh oh cheers and applause oh, now you want to be my dad . You left laughter you dont get to tell me what to do anymore. voice breaking cheers and applause papa, come back gah i was bad im sorry dont leave me with the badman. Please come back. You can still smoke. laughter now, obama never mentions a ci statement. Hmm, who could it be . Well, the friendly friends over at fox his friends have a pretty good idea. I guess he is talking about the president trump. Ya think . laughter applause stephen ya think . Come on, doocy dont accuse Brian Kilmeade of thinking. Its more like whatever mental activity is involved when a leaf decides to fall off a branch. Kilmeade went on. Im just wondering, did george bush ever condemn president obama after sandy hook . Did president bush ever come at he had 32 shootings of four and more Mass Shootings during his reign. Not many people said, wow, its this president. President obama is out of control. Stephen wait. Why are you acting so offended . Obama did not say trump was the racist. You just did. cheers and applause its one of the few times that youve stated a fact on camera. Its like if you said, look, its time for someone to stop taking dumps on my lawn, and your neighbor goes, you cant prove i did it. But trumps not paying attention to all this stuff. Hes too busy targeting the real threat to our democracy google. Yesterday, both fox news and fox business aired segments saying google was biased against trump. So trump tweeted, i watched kevin sernekee, a google engineer, say terrible things about what they did in 2016 and that they want to make sure that trump losses. laughter okay . No, its true. Its shocking, jon. It is terrible. They do. Im telling you. Google does terrible things to me. They want me to loss, but im no losser. Im gonna whine, cause ive always been a whiner. cheers and appla were going to whine so much, youre going to get sick of all the whining. He whined on, lou dobbs stated that this is a fraud on the american public. peterschweizer stated with certainty that they suppressed negative stories on hillary clinton, and boosted negative stories on donald ttump. laughter applause jon it doesnt really doesnt. Stephen now, i wasnt sure who donald tuhtump was, so i googled him, and it said was he was a tuhtorrible tacist who shouldnt be puhtesident. And a real losser cheers and applause meanwhile, the democratic primary is starting to get serious, and ill tell you all about it in tonights doin it about it in tonights doin it donkey style. The first two rounds of debates had 20 people on stage, but for the next debate, the current number is around eight people qualifying so far. Thats because in order to qualify, democrats have to poll at 2 in four surveys and have 130,000 unique donors. As opposed to the first debate, when you could qualify just by guessing the answer to a riddle from a bridge troll. as troll answer ye my riddles three who pays for medicare if we get it for free . And would you like to stroke my goatee . laughter ooooooh. applause but the d. N. C. Just announced the rules for octobers debate the one after septembers debate, are the same as the rules for septembers debate, with a later deadline. Which means after culling the field for the september debate, the rules could let some candidates back in for october. No no damn it, no the whole point is elimination. Heres a reason that march madness doesnt go elite eight, final four, terrific twelve, nifty nine, thrifty thirteen. They go down cheers and applause one candidate who will almost certainly not qualify for. Well, anything, is new york mayor bill de blasio, seen here delivering his signature catchphrase why am i here . laughter de blasio recently did an interview with politico, and they asked him all the hardhitting policy questions, like do you have any tattoos . To which he replied no. I think id want something roman. Big gladiator fan. Why am i reading this . We have de blasio on tape you like movies about gladiators . Stephen he continued, im just being proud of my heritage, the wellspring of democracy, and im also pissed off that they screwed up the roman republic, so i still havent gotten over that. Hasnt gotten over im glad hes got his finger on the pulse of what matters to voters in 44 b. C. as de blasio it is time for commonsense javelin control. We must stop demonizing the celtic immigrants, and i will seek longawaited peace with gallic chieftain ontaeogon. laughter and they also look it up look it up applause they also asked de blasio if he had to go on a road trip with another 2020 candidate, who would he choose to travel with, and he answered, bernie. Oh, my god, can you imagine that going on a road trip with Bernie Sanders . as bernie turn off the a. C. Im rolling down the windows to do my hair. Im hanging oit like a golden retriever. Slow down. My tongue is getting dry. Now, pull over. I need to redistribute 90 of the gatorade i had earlier. laughter applause put on applause drink your big black cow and get out of here of course, de blasios odds are pretty low. And by low i mean in a recent poll of New Hampshire voters, out of all of the people they talked to, bill de blasio got zero votes. Not 0 , zero votes, none. In fact, there is footage of the focus Group Rendering their decision. Weve got a great show for you tonight. Amanda seyfried is here. But when we return, meanwhile sprintern did you know you can switch to sprint and get both our unlimited plan and the brilliant iphone xr included . paul go on. sprintern for just 35 per month. paul go on. sprintern and it has a longer lasting battery life. paul go on. sprintern and. Well thats it. Its that simple. paul it sure is. For people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay. Com carrying up to 50 times its tbody weight. Essly marches on. It never questions the tasks at hand. But this year, theres a more thrilling path to follow. father kids. Change of plans vo defy the laws of human nature. At the summer of audi sales event get exceptional offers now delivered to your door try tso you can do more. Very. Feels so good feels so good feels so good target run and done. A lot of folks ask me why their dishwasher doesnt get everything clean. 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Janssen can help you explore hey, who are you . Oh, hey jeff, im a car thief. What . im here to steal your what . what . . What . laughing what . . What . what . [crash] what . haha, it happens. C insuran, paying for this could feel like getting robbed twice. So get allstate. And be better protected from mayhem. Like me. Dand steaks arent just for dinner. St. And right now we can have both for less because with choice sirloin. Dennys is elevating its new steak and eggs for just 10. 99. Its new and its a pretty big deal. See you at dennys cheers and applause Stephen Jon Batiste and stay human, everybody cheers and applause lovely. Lovely. Lovely. Jon, jon, we have a couple of lovely guests tonight. Are you aware of who we have here tonight . Jon indeed stephen we have Amanda Seyfried. You might know her from mamma mia jon shes got a great voice stephen mean girls sm of the she is she is fetch. And, also, three lovely young men here from the movie good boys. Is that what its called, good boys . Its the new seth rogen movie. Good boys. We have three kids. Thaerk like, 12 or 13 years old. Ones 13 and two of them are 12, Something Like that, absolutely adorable. Of course at that age, theyre right at the edge of becoming monsters jon oh, wow stephen catch them tonight. They turn into teenagers and you cant do anything until they turn 21 jon you let them loose stephen the end of the day jon like animal s stephen exactly. Beloved pets. You just hose them down at the end of the day, thats all you can do. Count their fingers and toes. 10 of each, theyre good. You know, i spend most of my time over there, Marie Kondoing the days big stories into the perfectlyorganized news closet that is my monologue. But sometimes i like to root around in the news crawlspace for the unread magazines, the old camp tshirts, and the broken lite brites that no longer spark joy, i thank them for their service, toss them in a cinch sack, then lean out my car window and drop it into the Salvation Army donation bin that is my segment cheers and applause meanwhile heals a nation. It soothes the troubled soul of this great experiment we call democracy meanwhile, passengers aboard a Spirit Airlines flight were in for a surprise on wednesday when a bat appeared and flew back and forth through the cabin. Here it comes again. There it goes. Yeah, there it goes again i know thats kiind of shocking, but in Spirit Airlines defense, their slogan is, look, you want to fly to chicago for 60 bucks . You get bats. laughter applause meanwhile if youre lucky if youre lucky you get bats the only thing ive ever seen on Spirit Airlines is raccoons. Meanwhile, a dog shelter here in new york says that an adorable puppy with a mustache already has a long list of families waiting to adopt her. The puppy went viral last week thanks to her unique mustachelike markings. But for some reason, theres still no interest in her brother. And to whoever hello. And whoever ends up adopting dolly, the name of the dog here, i just have one request please dress her up like a little saloon owner. Thiss not applause this isnt even a setup for a joke, its just something my writer, kate sidley, thinks would be adorable and i agree with her. If saloon owner isnt possible, kate will also accept dolly as a dastardly villain tying a hamster to train tracks, dolly as tom selleck in magnum p. I. Or dolly as 1972 burt reynolds. laughter meanwhile thats key. Thats key key paw placement. Meanwhile, coors light has just branded itself the official beer of drinking in the shower. Thats actually an upgrade. Previously, it was the official beer of weeping in your exwifes birdbath. Check out this little ad they actually made stephen coors light and taking a shower are the perfect match. Youre going to catch some water in your mouth anyway why not make it a cors light . Make it a coors light . Thats good actually, tonight, im going home and doing this. Also, can i just ask why it says do not attempt . laughter i am sick of commercials telling me not to do the thing theyre doing in their commercial. If i want to go offroading in the arctic in my ford f150 like you did, ford, thats my business. And if i sideswipe a tree and get stranded on a frozen lakebed and have to eat my own foot until im rescued, the first thing im gonna do is go straight home and shower off with a nice coors light. But, hey, getting people cheers and applause but, hey, getting people to consume your product in the shower is a whole new profit av and other brands are already getting on board. Jim . After a long day theres nothing like a hot shower. But if youre also hungry, theres bon gelder shower chili. While other chilies can be thin and watered down, bon gelders is thick and chunky and can take the heat and its perfectly seasoned, giving you the kick you need while hosing off. So the next time youre stepping into the shower, crack open a can of bon gelder shower chili. The official chili of eating chili in the shower. Stephen well be right back with Amanda Seyfried. Low battery sound. Do you want a charge . Yeah battery charging. Thank you so much. Battery charging. Biktarvy is a complete onepill, onceaday treatment used for hiv in certain adults. Its not a cure, but with one small pill, biktarvy fights hiv with three different medicines to help you get to undetectable. That means the amount of virus is so low it cant be measured in lab tests. Serious side effects can occur, including kidney problems and kidney failure. Rare, lifethreatening side effects include a buildup of lactic acid and liver problems. Do not take biktarvy if you take dofetilide or rifampin. Tell your doctor about all the medicines and supplements you take, if you are pregnant or breastfeeding, or if you have kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis. If you have hepatitis b, do not stop taking biktarvy without talking to your doctor. Common side effects were diarrhea, nausea, and headache. If youre hivpositive, keep loving who you are, inside and out. Ask your doctor if biktarvy is right for you. It runs on doritos. Want to tr[dog barks]me machine . Okay. Yes [humming, thumping] this is the greates