Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 2024

You . Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight too secret service. Plus, stephen welcomes laura dern. And musical guest kesha. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen wooo yeah come on come on beautiful beautiful hey, why not . Great. Shorten it up. Its beautiful. Hey, welcome hello, my friends, up there, down here, down there. Hello, jon. Audience Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen stephen so excited. Hey thank you very much. Welcome. Welcome, one and all, to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. And it is cheers and applause as you can tell, as you can tell by this crowd, it is friday. cheers and applause and that means and if to you that means blowing off work to chillax with your buds, then you are the president of the united states, because we jst learned that last year, trump spent one out of every five days at one of his golf clubs. And, remember, when trump is golfing, were paying for it. And we might not know the full cost for a while, thanks to treasury secretary and kid on bring your child to work day watching his dad get chewed out by the boss, steve mnuchin. Mnooch is trying to hide how much taxpayers have spent sending trump on his golf outings. He wants to delay disclosure of secret Service Spending on president ial travel until after the 2020 election. Audience boo stephen not telling us that till after we vote is like sharing your s. T. D. History with your partner after you have sex. No, no, no, no. Its cool, babe. That tingling sensation means the sex is working. laughter and its never going to stop working, baby. We do know the secret service bill is going to be pretty big. For example, we spent 96 million on barack obama over eight years. But in 2017, we spent 13. 6 million on trump in just one month. And over the past two years, weve spent 588,000 on secret service golf carts alone. Thats a lot, but golf carts are critical security vehicles. They can be overtaken only if the terrorists discover walking briskly. laughter all right . Now cheers and applause but were not just paying for trump. Were also covering the costs of all the little trumplings. For instance, a few years back, eric trumps visit to a Trump Building in uruguay cost taxpayers 97,000. So when you think about it, its not really youruguay. Its all our guay. Most of that money was spent in teaching eric that its not pronounced you are gay. laughter and applause were also thats a twofer. Thats a twofer. A double dip. Jon come one, yeah, you got to get two if you can. Get a twofer. Stephen were also learning more about what went on behind the scenes during irans attack on u. S. Military bases this week. Apparently, the white house received an earlywarning message from spy agencies that officials call a squawk. Normally, when you hear a squawk in the white house, that means its time to feed stephen miller. laughter and, as soon applause as soon as he got the warning, trump descended several flights of stairs to the situation room. Wow, that does not sound like trump. What on earth could have motivated him to shamble down several flights of stairs to the situation room . And. There were sandwiches piled on a sideboard in the room. laughter as trump gentlemen, we have incoming ballistic hoagies. Alert colonel mustard at strategic sauce command. Its also been revealed that the night of the air strike against soleimani, trump was pulled away from his dinner of meatloaf and ice cream. Though, that could be a misprint. Its possible it was ice cream with meatloaf. Trumps international whoopsies havent been helping his reputation. According to a new poll from the pew research center, 64 of people worldwide said they did not have confidence in president trump. In fact, foreigners trust him less than angela merkel, emmanuel macron, xi jinping, and vladimir putin. But, hey, he is still polling ahead of jeffrey dahmer, harvey weinstein, and one of the menendez brothers. laughter and applause now, which one, lyle . Lyle. Hes ahead of lyle. Whats the other one, trevor . Brad . One country where the president is as popular as a pine cone suppository is slovenia, where vandals burned a wooden statue of him. Police are still investigating, and they have released this security footage of the slovenian woman they believe is behind the attack. Now cant identify her. They have no idea who she is, none jon watch out, melania stephen with the Iowa Caucuses less than a month away, candidates are making a big push to get voters attention, including massachusetts senator and tourist going in for a closer look at michelangelos david, Elizabeth Warren. Warren has a new interview with elle magazine, where she covered topics from policy to relationships, or, as she plugged it in a tweet, you deserve better. Dump the guy who ghosted you, convince the roommate to let you adopt a dog, and ill take care of canceling your Student Loan Debt well, first off, first off, senator, that sounds lovely, but dump the guy who ghosted you . Ghosted means theyre already gone everyone knows that. As soon as they ask the late show interns to explain it to them. laughter thats universal. applause ghosted. Warren also did an interview with cosmo, where she dished on her skincare routine. You knew this was coming. What is your skincare routine . So, i have had, shes passed now but a much older cusin named tootsie. And years ago, i was, i guess probably somewhere in my 20s, and were at a big family reunion. And tootsie was beautiful. And i looked over at her, and i said, toots, how do you have such gorgeous skin . Stephen im going to interrupt real quick here, to point out only Elizabeth Warren could say the sentence, toots, how do you have such gorgeous skin and have it not be creepy. Somewhere out there applause somewhere out there, joe biden is like, oh, but i cant sniff one neck . Come on come on, toots i know toots toots and corn pop. Anyway. What did toots say . She said, ponds moisturizer every morning, every night, and never wash your face. So, from tootsie to me to you. I never wash my face. Stephen i hate to break it to you, senator warren, but i think toots was messing with you. as old woman hey, watch this. Hey, liz hey, liz use ponds constantly, never wash your face, and did you know were half native american . Tell everyone thats a wrap on toots toots is out laughter and applause never wash never wash just dont bathe laughter i never met her. I never met her, and i love toots. laughter warren has also been courting former candidates. According to the post, warren had just finished hiking on washingtons north cascades mountains when she dropped in for lunch with jay inslee, whose endorsement she was seeking. Oh, she just happened to be hiking near jay inslees house . Whats next . She just happens to be on the same halfpipe as beto orourke . Oh, what a coincidence you thrash here, too . laughter applause of course, theres one i popped an ollie jon nice nice, Elizabeth Stephen of course, theres one story we should all be paying attention to, and that is the wildfires in australia that have so far devastated almost 20 million acres. It is heartbreaking to see. But there is a bright spot people across the world are coming together to help. And if youd like to donate, go to colbertlateshow. Com australia. We have some links for you to follow. People from all walks of life are pitching in, like thousands in the knitting community who have united to knit, crochet, and sew shelters for animals affected by the crisis. You know what they say got to fight fire with yarn. laughter applause im being told, do not fight fire with yarn. Jon dont do that. Stephen the volunteers are knitting joey pouches, nests, and bat wraps, and even mittens for koalas. Audience aww stephen fun fact mittens for koalas is the cutest combination of words in the english language, just ahead of puppy tummy time and bab yoda nibbles. laughter celebrities out there are also helping by raising money. The original lineup of the wiggles have announced that they will reunite for bushfire benefit shows. You heard me right the original lineup about damn time did they think we wouldnt notice when they replaced greg page with that turtlenecked wannawiggle, sam moran . This is the real stuff from back in the day when the wiggles walked off stage to honeydipped groupies writhing in piles of cocaine. Hot potato, hot potato, cold spaghetti, cold spaghetti the online community, the online communitys also pitching in. A model on instagram says her nudes have raised 700,000 for australian fire relief. And i never thought i would say this, but thank you for your service, internet pervs. laughter and applause yeah. Tey stepped up. They stepped up. Jon cant be on the internet too late, though. Stephen in fact, porn is so profitable for charity, theyve also scheduled a 5k fun rub. Weve got a great show for you tonight. Laura dern is here, but when we come back, meanwhile everything your trip needs, for everyone you love. Expedia. For everyone you love. You look more like a heather. A. Do you ever get that . Its nice to finally meet you in person. Youre pete nocchio . Oh, the pic . That was actually a professional headshot. Im sure thats it, yeah. I, uh, i think ive lost a few pounds recently too. Im actually doing a juice cleanse. Wait you dont. glass breaking gasp ah oh. with geico, the savings keep on going. Just like this sequel. 15 minutes could save you 15 or more on car insurance. [wood rolling] alexios, add toilet paper to the shopping list. [chiseling on stone] oh, and camel milk. And a chicken. And moisturizer. Alexa thanks, guys. Ill take it from here. Gnocchis. S. Raviolis. And them smokeys. Curry. Fried turkey. Cacciatori. Chimichurri. Berry. Mcflurry. mcdonalds half stack. Taco pack. Lobster mac. And them baby back baby backs. We are americas kitchen. Doordash. Every flavor welcome. We all use our phones very differently. We need a Great Network all the time. vo everyone in your family is different. These two are always gaming and this one is always on facetime. vo so verizon has plans to mix and match starting at 35. And up to 650 off the latest iphone. The network more people rely on, gives you more. A lot of folks ask me why their dishwasher doesnt get everything clean. I tell them, it may be your detergent. Thats why more dishwasher brands recommend cascade platinum. With the soaking, scrubbing and rinsing built right in. For sparklingclean dishes, the first time. Cascade platinum. Yes, you, unsung designated driver. And you, saturday soccer dad. All you unpaid movers and never miss a bedtime parents. We see how you go out your way for others, and that inspires us to go the extra mile for you, every single day. Hertz. Proud to be ranked 1 in Customer Satisfaction by j. D. Power. Try to win by attacking, now, we know the trump strategy distorting, dividing. Mr. President it. Wont. Work. Newspapers report bloomberg is the democrat trump fears most. As president , universal healthcare that lets people keep their coverage if they like it. A record on job creation. A doable plan to combat climate change. I led a complex, diverse city through 911 and i have common sense plans to move america away from chaos to progress im Mike Bloomberg and i approve this message. band playing cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody, welcome back. Give it up for jon batiste and stay human, everybody stephen jon, happy friday. Happy friday. Jon happy friday. Stephen im very excited. Our guest tonight, laura dern, is going to be out here in just a moment, along with kesha. Kesha is going to be out here, tonight, performing and talking. Laura dern is in she just won a golden globe. Jon thats right. Stephen for Marriage Story. Amazing. Jon Marriage Story is really great. Stephen and i think she should win something too for she plays marmee in little women. Jon oh, yeah . Stephen yeah, unbelievable. Its ironic, because its little women, but shes such a tall woman. laughter jon yeah, shes very tall. Stephen you know what i mean . Shes very tall. Jon she can pull it off. Stephen next tuesday we have a live show, because its a debate, right . Its the last iowa debate before the iowa vote, and were going to be live here after that, and our guest is going to be president ial candidate mayor michael bloomberg. Its going to be historic. Historic. Never been done before. Jon giving him a shot, huh . Stephen folks, i spend a lot of time right over there, panning in the river of news for the biggest, shiniest golden news nuggets to put in my monologue. But once in a while, i like to strap together a bunch of old, stolen computers, throw them in a basement with an illegal hookup to the municipal power supply, and mine for bitcoin, which i use to form the black market fiat currency of news that is my segment meanwhile cheers and applause stephen that is it, baby. Thats it. Nailed the landing. Nailed the landing. Meanwhile, the reality show the bachelor is getting a musical spinoff series, which they describe as a mix between the bachelor and a star is born. Really . A star is born . Have you seen that film . The final rose ceremony is going to be very dark. laughter meanwhile jon spoiler alert. Stephen it wasnt my metaphor. Meanwhile, a new show called murder house flip fixes up homes where murders have happened. Im all in. Ill watch anything with murder house in the title. My favorite show is murder, she housed. laughter now, folks, if murder house sounds like the kind of thing a comedy writer who watches too much hgtv would come up with as a joke, that might be because six years ago, my executive producer, tom purcell who watches way too much hgtv thought of it while trying to imagine the worst home renovation show he could. It became such a joke around the office and this is absolutely true that for christmas that year, some staffers had a murder house fleece made for him as if it were a real show. Now, tom, can you believe murder house is now a real thing . Im afraid i can, stephen. Stephen now, that that thing youre wearing, is that the fleece . Yes, it is. Stephen so, where did you first get the idea for murder house . Well, one day i urgently had to renovate my house, and it just came to me. laughter applause stephen was there a reason your house urgently needed a sudden renovation . Yes. There was. laughter stephen meanwhile, footage went viral this week of a cuttlefish in a study at the university of minnesota that had been fitted with 3d glasses. Finally cuttlefish will be able to enjoy hobbs shaw the way it was meant to be seen. The scientists showed the cuttlefish animated 3d shrimp, and the fish attacked them the same way they would real ones. The results will be published in the prestigious new england journal of punking cephalapods. laughter meanwhile, the Consumer Electronics show is still going on in las vegas, where charmin, of all brands, unveiled some new tech, something called v. I. Pee, a premium porta potty experience, enhanced with an oculus rift virtualreality headset. Because thats everyones first thought whenever they enter a porta potty how can i spend more time in here . Well be right back with the great laura dern dramatic choir music dramatic choir music dramatic choir music its the rush of relaxation. 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Yes for less. band playing cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody, welcome back. Ladies and gentlemen, my first guest is an Emmy Awardwinning actor you know from Big Little Lies, twin peaks, and jurassic park. She just won a golden globe for her role in Marriage Story. Please welcome to the late show, laura dern. cheers and applause band playing wow i love i love being a surprise. Stephen how delightful. So nice to see you again. Its so great to see you. And i love being a surprise. Thank you. Thank you, all. Stephen congratulations on your golden globe. Thank you stephen for Marriage Story. Thank you cheers and applause stephen well deserved. Thank you. Stephen is that is that fun . Ive never been to the golden globes, because our show they dont have a category for us. I mean, its so fun. Robert de niro was sitting right behind me. How can it not be fun . You know, youre seeing people who are such icons and idols to you. Stephen laura dern. I mean, come on i saw myself. I was just freaked out and thrilled. No, but it is amazing, you know, to be im such a fan of fleabag, succession, so seeing the cast of these shows was really exciting. It was lovely. Stephen well, Stephen Colbert<\/a>. Tonight too secret service. Plus, stephen welcomes laura dern. And musical guest kesha. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert<\/a> cheers and applause stephen wooo yeah come on come on beautiful beautiful hey, why not . Great. Shorten it up. Its beautiful. Hey, welcome hello, my friends, up there, down here, down there. Hello, jon. Audience Stephen Stephen<\/a> Stephen Stephen<\/a> stephen so excited. Hey thank you very much. Welcome. Welcome, one and all, to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert<\/a>. And it is cheers and applause as you can tell, as you can tell by this crowd, it is friday. cheers and applause and that means and if to you that means blowing off work to chillax with your buds, then you are the president of the united states, because we jst learned that last year, trump spent one out of every five days at one of his golf clubs. And, remember, when trump is golfing, were paying for it. And we might not know the full cost for a while, thanks to treasury secretary and kid on bring your child to work day watching his dad get chewed out by the boss, steve mnuchin. Mnooch is trying to hide how much taxpayers have spent sending trump on his golf outings. He wants to delay disclosure of secret Service Spending<\/a> on president ial travel until after the 2020 election. Audience boo stephen not telling us that till after we vote is like sharing your s. T. D. History with your partner after you have sex. No, no, no, no. Its cool, babe. That tingling sensation means the sex is working. laughter and its never going to stop working, baby. We do know the secret service bill is going to be pretty big. For example, we spent 96 million on barack obama over eight years. But in 2017, we spent 13. 6 million on trump in just one month. And over the past two years, weve spent 588,000 on secret service golf carts alone. Thats a lot, but golf carts are critical security vehicles. They can be overtaken only if the terrorists discover walking briskly. laughter all right . Now cheers and applause but were not just paying for trump. Were also covering the costs of all the little trumplings. For instance, a few years back, eric trumps visit to a Trump Building<\/a> in uruguay cost taxpayers 97,000. So when you think about it, its not really youruguay. Its all our guay. Most of that money was spent in teaching eric that its not pronounced you are gay. laughter and applause were also thats a twofer. Thats a twofer. A double dip. Jon come one, yeah, you got to get two if you can. Get a twofer. Stephen were also learning more about what went on behind the scenes during irans attack on u. S. Military bases this week. Apparently, the white house received an earlywarning message from spy agencies that officials call a squawk. Normally, when you hear a squawk in the white house, that means its time to feed stephen miller. laughter and, as soon applause as soon as he got the warning, trump descended several flights of stairs to the situation room. Wow, that does not sound like trump. What on earth could have motivated him to shamble down several flights of stairs to the situation room . And. There were sandwiches piled on a sideboard in the room. laughter as trump gentlemen, we have incoming ballistic hoagies. Alert colonel mustard at strategic sauce command. Its also been revealed that the night of the air strike against soleimani, trump was pulled away from his dinner of meatloaf and ice cream. Though, that could be a misprint. Its possible it was ice cream with meatloaf. Trumps international whoopsies havent been helping his reputation. According to a new poll from the pew research center, 64 of people worldwide said they did not have confidence in president trump. In fact, foreigners trust him less than angela merkel, emmanuel macron, xi jinping, and vladimir putin. But, hey, he is still polling ahead of jeffrey dahmer, harvey weinstein, and one of the menendez brothers. laughter and applause now, which one, lyle . Lyle. Hes ahead of lyle. Whats the other one, trevor . Brad . One country where the president is as popular as a pine cone suppository is slovenia, where vandals burned a wooden statue of him. Police are still investigating, and they have released this security footage of the slovenian woman they believe is behind the attack. Now cant identify her. They have no idea who she is, none jon watch out, melania stephen with the Iowa Caucuses<\/a> less than a month away, candidates are making a big push to get voters attention, including massachusetts senator and tourist going in for a closer look at michelangelos david, Elizabeth Warren<\/a>. Warren has a new interview with elle magazine, where she covered topics from policy to relationships, or, as she plugged it in a tweet, you deserve better. Dump the guy who ghosted you, convince the roommate to let you adopt a dog, and ill take care of canceling your Student Loan Debt<\/a> well, first off, first off, senator, that sounds lovely, but dump the guy who ghosted you . Ghosted means theyre already gone everyone knows that. As soon as they ask the late show interns to explain it to them. laughter thats universal. applause ghosted. Warren also did an interview with cosmo, where she dished on her skincare routine. You knew this was coming. What is your skincare routine . So, i have had, shes passed now but a much older cusin named tootsie. And years ago, i was, i guess probably somewhere in my 20s, and were at a big family reunion. And tootsie was beautiful. And i looked over at her, and i said, toots, how do you have such gorgeous skin . Stephen im going to interrupt real quick here, to point out only Elizabeth Warren<\/a> could say the sentence, toots, how do you have such gorgeous skin and have it not be creepy. Somewhere out there applause somewhere out there, joe biden is like, oh, but i cant sniff one neck . Come on come on, toots i know toots toots and corn pop. Anyway. What did toots say . She said, ponds moisturizer every morning, every night, and never wash your face. So, from tootsie to me to you. I never wash my face. Stephen i hate to break it to you, senator warren, but i think toots was messing with you. as old woman hey, watch this. Hey, liz hey, liz use ponds constantly, never wash your face, and did you know were half native american . Tell everyone thats a wrap on toots toots is out laughter and applause never wash never wash just dont bathe laughter i never met her. I never met her, and i love toots. laughter warren has also been courting former candidates. According to the post, warren had just finished hiking on washingtons north cascades mountains when she dropped in for lunch with jay inslee, whose endorsement she was seeking. Oh, she just happened to be hiking near jay inslees house . Whats next . She just happens to be on the same halfpipe as beto orourke . Oh, what a coincidence you thrash here, too . laughter applause of course, theres one i popped an ollie jon nice nice, Elizabeth Stephen<\/a> of course, theres one story we should all be paying attention to, and that is the wildfires in australia that have so far devastated almost 20 million acres. It is heartbreaking to see. But there is a bright spot people across the world are coming together to help. And if youd like to donate, go to colbertlateshow. Com australia. We have some links for you to follow. People from all walks of life are pitching in, like thousands in the knitting community who have united to knit, crochet, and sew shelters for animals affected by the crisis. You know what they say got to fight fire with yarn. laughter applause im being told, do not fight fire with yarn. Jon dont do that. Stephen the volunteers are knitting joey pouches, nests, and bat wraps, and even mittens for koalas. Audience aww stephen fun fact mittens for koalas is the cutest combination of words in the english language, just ahead of puppy tummy time and bab yoda nibbles. laughter celebrities out there are also helping by raising money. The original lineup of the wiggles have announced that they will reunite for bushfire benefit shows. You heard me right the original lineup about damn time did they think we wouldnt notice when they replaced greg page with that turtlenecked wannawiggle, sam moran . This is the real stuff from back in the day when the wiggles walked off stage to honeydipped groupies writhing in piles of cocaine. Hot potato, hot potato, cold spaghetti, cold spaghetti the online community, the online communitys also pitching in. A model on instagram says her nudes have raised 700,000 for australian fire relief. And i never thought i would say this, but thank you for your service, internet pervs. laughter and applause yeah. Tey stepped up. They stepped up. Jon cant be on the internet too late, though. Stephen in fact, porn is so profitable for charity, theyve also scheduled a 5k fun rub. Weve got a great show for you tonight. Laura dern is here, but when we come back, meanwhile everything your trip needs, for everyone you love. Expedia. For everyone you love. You look more like a heather. A. Do you ever get that . Its nice to finally meet you in person. Youre pete nocchio . Oh, the pic . That was actually a professional headshot. Im sure thats it, yeah. I, uh, i think ive lost a few pounds recently too. Im actually doing a juice cleanse. Wait you dont. glass breaking gasp ah oh. with geico, the savings keep on going. Just like this sequel. 15 minutes could save you 15 or more on car insurance. [wood rolling] alexios, add toilet paper to the shopping list. [chiseling on stone] oh, and camel milk. And a chicken. And moisturizer. Alexa thanks, guys. Ill take it from here. Gnocchis. S. Raviolis. And them smokeys. Curry. Fried turkey. Cacciatori. Chimichurri. Berry. Mcflurry. mcdonalds half stack. Taco pack. Lobster mac. And them baby back baby backs. We are americas kitchen. Doordash. Every flavor welcome. We all use our phones very differently. We need a Great Network<\/a> all the time. vo everyone in your family is different. These two are always gaming and this one is always on facetime. vo so verizon has plans to mix and match starting at 35. And up to 650 off the latest iphone. The network more people rely on, gives you more. A lot of folks ask me why their dishwasher doesnt get everything clean. I tell them, it may be your detergent. Thats why more dishwasher brands recommend cascade platinum. With the soaking, scrubbing and rinsing built right in. For sparklingclean dishes, the first time. Cascade platinum. Yes, you, unsung designated driver. And you, saturday soccer dad. All you unpaid movers and never miss a bedtime parents. We see how you go out your way for others, and that inspires us to go the extra mile for you, every single day. Hertz. Proud to be ranked 1 in Customer Satisfaction<\/a> by j. D. Power. Try to win by attacking, now, we know the trump strategy distorting, dividing. Mr. President it. Wont. Work. Newspapers report bloomberg is the democrat trump fears most. As president , universal healthcare that lets people keep their coverage if they like it. A record on job creation. A doable plan to combat climate change. I led a complex, diverse city through 911 and i have common sense plans to move america away from chaos to progress im Mike Bloomberg<\/a> and i approve this message. band playing cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody, welcome back. Give it up for jon batiste and stay human, everybody stephen jon, happy friday. Happy friday. Jon happy friday. Stephen im very excited. Our guest tonight, laura dern, is going to be out here in just a moment, along with kesha. Kesha is going to be out here, tonight, performing and talking. Laura dern is in she just won a golden globe. Jon thats right. Stephen for Marriage Story<\/a>. Amazing. Jon Marriage Story<\/a> is really great. Stephen and i think she should win something too for she plays marmee in little women. Jon oh, yeah . Stephen yeah, unbelievable. Its ironic, because its little women, but shes such a tall woman. laughter jon yeah, shes very tall. Stephen you know what i mean . Shes very tall. Jon she can pull it off. Stephen next tuesday we have a live show, because its a debate, right . Its the last iowa debate before the iowa vote, and were going to be live here after that, and our guest is going to be president ial candidate mayor michael bloomberg. Its going to be historic. Historic. Never been done before. Jon giving him a shot, huh . Stephen folks, i spend a lot of time right over there, panning in the river of news for the biggest, shiniest golden news nuggets to put in my monologue. But once in a while, i like to strap together a bunch of old, stolen computers, throw them in a basement with an illegal hookup to the municipal power supply, and mine for bitcoin, which i use to form the black market fiat currency of news that is my segment meanwhile cheers and applause stephen that is it, baby. Thats it. Nailed the landing. Nailed the landing. Meanwhile, the reality show the bachelor is getting a musical spinoff series, which they describe as a mix between the bachelor and a star is born. Really . A star is born . Have you seen that film . The final rose ceremony is going to be very dark. laughter meanwhile jon spoiler alert. Stephen it wasnt my metaphor. Meanwhile, a new show called murder house flip fixes up homes where murders have happened. Im all in. Ill watch anything with murder house in the title. My favorite show is murder, she housed. laughter now, folks, if murder house sounds like the kind of thing a comedy writer who watches too much hgtv would come up with as a joke, that might be because six years ago, my executive producer, tom purcell who watches way too much hgtv thought of it while trying to imagine the worst home renovation show he could. It became such a joke around the office and this is absolutely true that for christmas that year, some staffers had a murder house fleece made for him as if it were a real show. Now, tom, can you believe murder house is now a real thing . Im afraid i can, stephen. Stephen now, that that thing youre wearing, is that the fleece . Yes, it is. Stephen so, where did you first get the idea for murder house . Well, one day i urgently had to renovate my house, and it just came to me. laughter applause stephen was there a reason your house urgently needed a sudden renovation . Yes. There was. laughter stephen meanwhile, footage went viral this week of a cuttlefish in a study at the university of minnesota that had been fitted with 3d glasses. Finally cuttlefish will be able to enjoy hobbs shaw the way it was meant to be seen. The scientists showed the cuttlefish animated 3d shrimp, and the fish attacked them the same way they would real ones. The results will be published in the prestigious new england journal of punking cephalapods. laughter meanwhile, the Consumer Electronics<\/a> show is still going on in las vegas, where charmin, of all brands, unveiled some new tech, something called v. I. Pee, a premium porta potty experience, enhanced with an oculus rift virtualreality headset. Because thats everyones first thought whenever they enter a porta potty how can i spend more time in here . Well be right back with the great laura dern dramatic choir music dramatic choir music dramatic choir music its the rush of relaxation. Introducing the allnew lincoln corsair. I am totally blind. And non24 can make me show up too early. Or too late. Or make me feel like im not really there. Talk to your doctor, and call 8442342424. Like leather, skin is stronger when 9 out of 10 men dont get the hydration their skin needs. Thats why dove men care body wash has a unique hydrating formula. To keep mens skin healthier and stronger. 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The heart and soul of this party is diversity. When a kid succeeds in columbia, South Carolina<\/a> in las vegas, nevada that is a triumph for every american. People dont know tom steyer. Ive known tom steyer for fifteen years. His commitment on Racial Justice<\/a> and social justice is rock solid. Im tom steyer and i approve this message. Exactly what you need. Yes. For your growing family . Thats yes for less. Everything your pet needs at 20 to 60 percent off Specialty Store<\/a> prices. At ross. Yes for less. band playing cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody, welcome back. Ladies and gentlemen, my first guest is an Emmy Awardwinning<\/a> actor you know from Big Little Lies<\/a>, twin peaks, and jurassic park. She just won a golden globe for her role in Marriage Story<\/a>. Please welcome to the late show, laura dern. cheers and applause band playing wow i love i love being a surprise. Stephen how delightful. So nice to see you again. Its so great to see you. And i love being a surprise. Thank you. Thank you, all. Stephen congratulations on your golden globe. Thank you stephen for Marriage Story<\/a>. Thank you cheers and applause stephen well deserved. Thank you. Stephen is that is that fun . Ive never been to the golden globes, because our show they dont have a category for us. I mean, its so fun. Robert de niro was sitting right behind me. How can it not be fun . You know, youre seeing people who are such icons and idols to you. Stephen laura dern. I mean, come on i saw myself. I was just freaked out and thrilled. No, but it is amazing, you know, to be im such a fan of fleabag, succession, so seeing the cast of these shows was really exciting. It was lovely. Stephen well, Marriage Story<\/a> is one of the most moving, heartbreaking, funny, and beautiful movies ive seen in years. Thank you for your performance, and for everybody involved in it. I know that Noah Baumbach<\/a> cheers and applause thank you. Stephen if i have this correctly, that Noah Baumbach<\/a> actually involved the performers in sort of the in conversations before the script was completed, while it was still being developed. He did, which was amazing. Stephen what did you guys talk about . You know, we started it was with myself, adam driver, and scarlett johansson, who are incredible in this film. And we started talking about life and relationships, and noah said he wanted to make a love story. And over the course of some months, he and i had dinner, and i remember him saying, i think i want to tell a love story through the lens of divorce, which i thought was incredibly bold and quite a terrifying thing to pull off, which hes such a meticulous writer, he did so perfectly. And then he said, i think i want you to play the divorce lawyer, and our conversations grew from there, which was amazing. Stephen to be in the early stages of those conversations, and then finally see the script must have been fascinating. What was your reaction when you finally read the script . Sobbed for 15 minutes. On his voice mail, in fact. I mean, i was i was weeping because the movie that you see is the script we were given. Each line, how i take my high heels off i mean, everything was described flawlessly. And right before i read it, i remember him saying, i want to make a movie to remind us that endings arent failures. And that already made me cry. I felt so moved by that. cheers and he really has made that film. So it was amazing. Stephen we have a clip here of you talking to scarletts character whats the actual moment here for the people who havent seen it . For the moment here, my character youve gotten to know as a pretty particular divorce lawyer, very manipulative in some ways, to win the case. But here, theyre doing a sort of trial on how you should be with a mediator and converse and share who are you as a mother. And its, in a way, my characters origin story about how she got into this business, to sort of protect women and mothers voices in family court. But she gets very clear about how women are measured up or mothers, compared to fathers. Stephen jim. Lets face it, the idea of a good father was only invented, like, 30 years ago. Before that, fathers were expected to be silent and absent and unreliable and selfish. And we can all say we want them to be different, but on some basic level, we accept them. We love them for their fallibilities, but people absolutely dont accept those same failings in mothers. We dont accept it structurally, and we dont accept it spiritually. Because the base of our Judeo Christian<\/a> whatever is mary, mother of jesus, and shes perfect. Shes a virgin who gives birth cheers and applause its just such stephen yeah. Its such brilliant writing, and as, you know, an actor its like a Christmas Present<\/a> to get a treat like that. My god. Stephen i want to take a moment here to just gush briefly about another amazing film youre in this year, little women. Yes. cheers and applause so beautiful. Stephen again, another amazing cast of people. Incredible. Stephen incredible director, too . Incredible, also writer director, who happens to be the partner of the writer director you just saw. So i spent my year with Noel Baumbach<\/a> and greta gerwig who are also a couple. Stephen have they adopted you . Yes, 100 . They may not have wanted to, but, yes, in fact, i might move in. Stephen what was it like its beautiful to look at, besides being a beautiful story, and a very gentle, heartwarming story and heartbreaking at the same time. Its beautiful to look at. Is it shot in concord . It is. We basically moved to concord, massachusetts, all of fall, which was amazing, of last year. So beautiful,. Were literally at the home of louisa may alcott, walking every weekend on walden pond. Somehow i had to pinch myself. My newfound friend, who is my hero, meryl streep, who i worked with on Big Little Lies<\/a> joined the cast, so we were in concord together. Stephen wow, so the second thing youve done with her this year. Yes, which was amazing and there we are having dinners and being in the middle of this incredible historic place. And when you are and youre working on Something Like<\/a> little women, you need to really steep yourself into American History<\/a> to understand the story youre telling. So why not go to your neighbor, Doris Kearns Goodwin<\/a> . Stephen she was living right by you . Yes. And when i found out that she was my neighbor, thank god she and her son let me become like family with them. But all i kept thinking was, apologies to Doris Kearns Goodwin<\/a>. This is stephen deep cut for colbert report fans. Literally the last joke we did on the old show. I loved it so much. Stephen had you worked with meryl before . Just on Big Little Lies<\/a>. That was it. So my whole life, you know, she was a hero to me. And then on Big Little Lies<\/a>, i was just so excited, all i wanted to do was pay tribute to her, and bow at her feet, or cuss her out in a starbucks which is what i had to do. Also glorious, but terrifying. Stephen that must have felt good, to scream at meryl streep. Yes, in some weird way, it did, yes. Stephen i want to catch up on a news story that kind of got away from us that you were part of. Its a big news story, and i hope you know what im about to talk about here. Baby yoda is a big deal this year. And you were on a red carpet what was that for . Do you remember what that was for . The gotham awards. Stephen the gotham awards. Okay, and on the gotham awards you were asked about baby yoda. Do you like baby yoda . And do you remember what you said . You said you saw him at a basketball game. laughter stephen and people werent sure what to make of it. And this caused headlines, a lot of headlines. Laura dern thinks she saw baby yoda at a basketball game. Laura dern on being followed by baby yoda everywhere exclusive what is going on with laura dern and baby yoda . And finally, laura dern says she said baby yoda at a basketball game and i believe her. laughter cheers and applause stephen so, clearly, the people the people, laura dern, the people want to know, what did you mean . Did you see baby yoda at a basketball game . Im just going to say this, because weve been in this business for a long time now. Stephen sure. And i was raised by actors. There can be a frenzy when people are friends or have some kind of relationship, and people want to wonder. You know . And stephen right, hes a star, youre a star, and youve been seen together at basketball games. Yeah, you know. Stephen anything . I mean, hes as a baby, hes a 50yearold baby. laughter so i mean, its not inappropriate. Its a perfect stephen sure, sure, no one is going to accuse you of robbing the cradle. No, and i said to my friends, the next man i am going to be with, i want him to be incredibly wise, great sense of humor, i dont mind being the taller one, you know. Stephen im sure youve had to do that a lot in your career. Yeah, i didnt mention green, but you never know what youre going to get. Stephen and those eyes. Those eyes i cant tell you. When you say, i just want you to look into my eyes forever, and hes definitely going to be doing that. Stephen well, laura, good luck. Give my best to baby yoda. I will. Stephen Marriage Story<\/a> is on netflix now. Laura dern, everybody well be right back with kesha. Vo a great president and an effective mayor. Leadership that makes a difference. Obama hes been a leader throughout the country for the past twelve years, mr. Michael bloomberg is here. Vo together they worked to combat gun violence, and again to improve education for every child. Obama i want to thank the mayor of this great city, mayor bloomberg, for his extraordinary leadership. I share your determination to bring this country together to finally make progress for the American People<\/a>. Bloomberg im Mike Bloomberg<\/a>, and i approve this message. Oh, its beautiful. So you guys are welcome to use the car while im at work. Ill text you a key. How do you text a key . Its technology, dear. I got this. Better text it to me. It has to be a smart phone, dad. Are you saying i gotta dumb phone . No. Its cool. Well just do it old school. Hyundai digital key; now theres a better way to share. Hey, press that button there. Only on the allnew sonata. Wheres the car going . Technology, dear. Thats technology. Somewhere youll never find. Sike we put them everywhere. Grocery stores and supermarkets, gas stations, and chiropractors offices, bowling alleys, and grocery stores, which we already mentioned. Not sorry, reeses. You care about the planet, but you dont drink like it. By 2050 there will be more plastic in the ocean than fish. Brita. Drink like you care. At Progressive Park<\/a> insurance themed fun children yeah announcer ride the totally realistic traffic jam. Beep, beep, beep, beep children traffic jam announcer and the worlds first never bump bumper cars. Children never bump announcer its a real savings hootenanny with options that fit your budget. Thats fun for the whole family. Announcer only at progressive par. Maybe an insurance park was a bad idea. Yeah. Yep. Land youll see its actuallyn made of countless imperfections. Those randomly and impulsively placed sesame seeds. That one slice of melty cheese at the bottom and another draped haphazardly over the 100 fresh beef patty cooked right when you order. True, the hottest, juiciest quarter pounder yet is not perfect. But when you put it all together, ha ha its perfect made perfecter. Ba da ba ba ba i thougin that moment. Illiant we have not said one word tonight about race. Not one word. Are you kidding me . The heart and soul of this party is diversity. When a kid succeeds in columbia, South Carolina<\/a> in las vegas, nevada that is a triumph for every american. People dont know tom steyer. Ive known tom steyer for fifteen years. His commitment on Racial Justice<\/a> and social justice is rock solid. Im tom steyer and i approve this message. band playing cheers and applause stephen welcome back everybody. My next guest is a singer whose hits include tik tok, we r who we r, and timber. Please welcome to the late show, kesha. cheers and applause band playing stephen hi. Hello, stephen. Stephen thank you for being here. Thanks for having me. Stephen smart to wear a fur in here, by the way. This is a fake fur. Stephen i know its a fake fur, im not trying to throw that on you right now. Dont throw anything on me. Its fake as bleep . Oh laughter stephen its fine. Its fine, its, like, 1 00 in the morning or something. Who is even going to notice . Ten years ago, on new years day, ten years ago, you dropped your first album, animal. I did, yes. Stephen okay, do those songs, like, come back to you now . Whats your perspective on those songs ten years later . Well, its what introduced me to my fans, my animals, who are the best stephen animals, right. And i actually have to make a confession. Theres a song so i like to, like i just put things out there in the universe and i, like, make them happen. Its kind of like stalking, but its like a slow burn. Stephen is it like the secret, like the oprah thing . Kind of, but its a little more intense. So i wrote a song called stephen about how you wouldnt call me. And look at me now. cheers and applause stephen i was not aware that i needed to call you. You can what is yeah, okay. C sharp to f sharp. Stephen stephen why wont you call me . Stephen why wont you call me and then you did and then im here cheers and applause stephen please accept my apology. I had no idea. applause laughter im slightly flustered now. Ive never had a pop song written about me before. I should read the lyrics more often. Yeah, theyre super stalkery. Stephen now, your fans you said are called the animals my animals. Stephen and who do you fan out on . Who do you is there anybody who you freak out when you see . Yes, so, actually, i, like, fanned out super hard and slow stalked dana carvey because waynes world is the greatest piece of art ever made. laughter stephen so youve slow stalked two middleaged comedians . Yes. Stephen classic sex symbols. Do you actually know dana carvey . Yes, i slow stalked him and now were best friends forever. Stephen youre best friends with dana carvey. Yes, we were just texting about you. Stephen about me . Yes. Stephen because i know dana carvey. I will call him after this and say, is this true . Call him right now, we were just texting. Hes my momma bear. Stephen i do not know what that means. I dont, either. Stephen does he look after you to make sure youre okay . No, we go out and get drunk. Stephen i do not believe you. I swear stephen i have been out drinking with dana carvey many times. He orders one amstell light and goes to bed. laughter you are not drinking with dana carvey. You can have a drink, but you dont get hammered with dana. Oh, yeah. Stephen really . Yeah, we went i forget where but we got super drunk. And then david spade showed up who i used to slow stalk but then like i gave up. Stephen again, middleaged comedian. laughter not with a rockin bod. Well, i mean, to me, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Stephen thank you, i think, thank you very much. Now, correct me if im wrong, your mother is it p. B. . P. B. Not p. P. Stephen okay, she cowrites some of your songs with you. Yes. Stephen who writes the crazier lyrics . Who is more freespirited . I dont know. She has no filter and shes a hippie and shes. Has no filter. You know what i mean . Stephen she wrote a song that dolly parton recorded, i understand. Yeah, so she like, was writing beautiful country songs before i happened. And my way of rebelling was to write, like, raunchy, whatever you call my music. And then we started writing songs together. So your love is my drug, that was our first number one together, and its about how love is the best drug. And shes told me that shes tried them all and thats her favorite. Stephen okay, so, but then you got to record whats the name of the song your mom wrote for dolly . For dolly, old flames cant hold a candle to you. Stephen and you got to do that with dolly. Yes. Stephen what was that like . Shes a giant i mean what are you speaking of . Stephen that dolly is a legend. That dolly is a legend, yes, okay, and she has a theme park. Stephen yeah. Thats amazing. Stephen dollywood, in pigeon forge. Yeah. And theres a store called old flames cant hold a candle to you where you can make a candle out of your hand. Stephen out of your hand . Yes. Stephen cant do that at disney. Dollywood. Stephen theyre not insured for it. Dolly knows whats up. So, dolly, like, for me, i look up to dolly. And im like, what would dolly do . Stephen w. W. D. D. . Yeah. I thought about getting it as a tattoo, but i dont know. So, yeah, i always think what would dolly parton do, what would david bowie do. Also a d. Stephen i see the influence of david bowie in the insane makeup on your face right now. Yes, its his Birthday Week<\/a>. Stephen and you also you do the Birthday Week<\/a> thing . Not for me, but for david bowie, hell, yeah. Stephen okay, i just didnt know. Ive heard about the Birthday Week<\/a> and i dont understand Birthday Week<\/a>. Every day is my birthday. laughs stephen god, that is either fantastic or exhausting. Im not sure which of those it is. I know you have your own makeup line, is this your own makeup on your face . Yes, i have a lot of my makeup on my face. And then i rubbed some other stuff in there. laughter yeah. Stephen all of it makeup, i hope. You never know. Stephen is this it . Oh, yeah. I brought you some. I brought you some of my makeup. Stephen there you go, there you go. So i was wondering. Stephen yes. If you would like, like, in celebration of david bowie. Stephen yes. If you would like for me to give you a superfast makeover. Keep in mind this took three hours. Ill do yours in two minutes. It wont look quite the same. But i would love to paint on your face. Stephen sure. cheers and applause while youre doing that okay, wait. Heres the makeup. Stephen ill move your glass. Thats fine. Theyre just for looks. Stephen okay. And i just want to speaking of candles, your forthcoming album high road comes out january 31. Yes, thats a candle, yep. Stephen and then a tour. Im going on tour with big freedia, who i met on the kesha cruise, and we got matching tattoos, and now we have raising hell, its my first single and we did it together. Stephen and while youre working on my face, can you tell the people what song youre going to do tonight . Im going to do raising hell with big freedia, and its going to be awesome stephen take take your time take your time. laughter and applause ill tell you what, while youre working on me, well take a commercial break. And stick around. Well be right back with a performance by kesha. This is my body of proof. Proof i can fight moderate to severe rheumatoid arthritis. Proof i can fight psoriatic arthritis. With humira. Proof of less joint pain. And clearer skin in psa. Humira targets and blocks a source of inflammation that contributes to joint pain and irreversible damage. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections. Serious and sometimes fatal infections, including tuberculosis, and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened, as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. Humira is proven to help relieve pain, stop further joint damage,. And clear skin in psa. Want more proof . Ask your rheumatologist about humira. Im the founder of the honey pot. My name is wbeatrice dixon. To have a retailer like target see you and believe in you, is everything. The reason why its so important for honey pot to do well is so the next black girl she could have a better opportunity. That means a lot to me. We all use our phones very differently. We need a Great Network<\/a> all the time. vo everyone in your family is different. These two are always gaming and this one is always on facetime. vo so verizon has plans to mix and match starting at 35. And up to 650 off the latest iphone. The network more people rely on, gives you more. You try to stay ahead of the mess. But scrubbing still takes time. Now theres new powerwash dish spray. Its the faster way to clean as you go. Just spray, wipe and rinse. It cleans grease five times faster. New dawn powerwash. Spray, wipe, rinse. While the middleclass continues to struggle. Thats what happens when billionaires are able to control the political system. Our campaign is funded by the working people of this country, and those are the people that i will represent. No more tax breaks for billionaires. We are going to guarantee health care to all people and create up to 20 million good paying jobs to save this planet. Im Bernie Sanders<\/a> and i approve this message because we need an economy that works for all of us, not just wealthy campaign contributors. My sons were in their teens. Because we need an economy thwhen i came home from prison so i got involved in juvenile justice, i didnt want them to go through the same thing i went through. Michael bloomberg created the young mens initiative. In helping keep other young men and young women from entering into the criminal justice system. And we see it, we see it in young people being employed. We see young people being removed out the system. Running for president , what better platform for him to speak about real justice, real reform. Im Mike Bloomberg<\/a> and i approve this message. band playing cheers and applause ill be waiting here waiting just for you welcome to my world howling wind howling wind vo i want to rock rock i want to rock rock i want to rock rock rock rock rock rock rock rock i want to. chris rock whod you expect . Sylvester Stallone<\/a> i dont know. Me . vo i want to rock rock rock rock rock i want to rock how fast does dove dry spray actually dry . Dry spray dries in an instant. Leaving these men with nothing to do in this ad. Thankfully, weve got something to fill the time, instantly putting these guys back into their comfort zone. Dove dry spray dries instantly and keeps you protected for 48 hours. I put it on, popped the collar and looked at the brand and when i saw the price tag i was like, oh yeah, this is this is a keeper brands that wow. Prices that thrill. Marshalls. Your surprise is waiting uhh, excuse youre in a is there a problno parking zone. Oh, i. I didnt know. You didnt see the sign . That. That wasnt there when i was here earlier. whimper really . You know, in italy, they let you park anywhere. Have a good day, sir. With geico, the savings keep on going. Just like this sequel. 15 minutes could save you 15 or more on car insurance. glass shattering frustrated yell car horn blast yelp fisnt just about polar bears. Were fighting for our lives, were fighting for clean air and clean water. Thats why i wrote the law to send billions from polluters to communities suffering the most. And only one candidate for president was with us back then, tom steyer. And hes still fighting for us, pledging to make clean air and clean water a right for everyone, regardless of your zip code. Thats the truth. Thats tom steyer. Im tom steyer and i approve this message. Stephen and now, performing raising hell with big freedia from her upcoming album high road, ladies and gentlemen, kesha. cheers and applause lets go hallelujah, im still here still bringin it to ya om like buddah good girls know how to get hard too yeah im all done up in my sunday best no walk of shame cause i love this dress hungover heart of gold holy mess doing my best yes im blessed oh if you couldnt tell we can always find the trouble we dont need no help singing oh mama raised me well but i dont wanna go to heaven without raising hell get it oh, lets go come on, lets go get it, get it, go. Drop it down low and hit the floor with it drop it down low drop it down low drdrdrop it down low drop it down low drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it oh, lets go hands up witness solo cup full of holy spirit something wicked speaking in tongues in my blood red lipstick im all done up in my sunday best no walk of shame cause i love this dress only god can judge this holy mess yes im blessed oh come on if you couldnt tell say what . We can always find the trouble we dont need no help come on, lets go singing, oh mama raised me well come on but i dont wanna go to heaven without raising hell lets go come on drop it down low and hit the floor with it drop it down low drop it down low drdrdrop it down low drop it down low drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it, drop it bounce up and down where the good lord split it ohhhhh ladies and gentleman ohhh lets shake what the good lord gave us aww dang this that hit beat like this wanna shake my woooaaa aww dang this that hit beat like this wanna shake my woooaaa aww dang this that hit beat like this make me feel that power oh, if you couldnt tell we can always find the trouble we dont need no help singing, oh say what . Lets go mama raised me well but i dont wanna go to heaven without raising hell can i get an amen . This is for the misfits of creation come on lets go take this as your holy validation say what, lets go you dont need to hide your celebrating this is our salvation sing it, kesha wooo cheers and applause stephen hey that was beautiful. Thank you stephen freedia, lovely to meet you. Thank you, same here. Stephen kesha, everybody, with big freedia. Well be right back vo a great president and an effective mayor. Leadership that makes a difference. Obama hes been a leader throughout the country for the past twelve years, mr. Michael bloomberg is here. Vo together they worked to combat gun violence, and again to improve education for every child. Obama i want to thank the mayor of this great city, mayor bloomberg, for his extraordinary leadership. I share your determination to bring this country together to finally make progress for the American People<\/a>. Bloomberg im Mike Bloomberg<\/a>, and i approve this message. You know, the happiest place on earth, but. Have you flown the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy . Or channeled your inner jedi . You gotta love that. Have you raced through radiator springs . Or struck a power pose with them . Now is the perfect time to feel like this. And this. And definitely that. Kids enjoy the magic for just 67 per child per day, with a 3day 1park per day ticket. Brzezinsktom steyer. K at this. For just 67 per child berman tom steyer. Odonnell surging in nevada. Scarborough this is working for tom steyer. Odonnell surging in South Carolina<\/a>. Smerconish i dont think its just resources. Mitchell surging in two new polls out of nevada and South Carolina<\/a>. Wallace polling at double digits. King up eleven points from october. That is dramatic. Steyer im saying we have a broken government. Thats whats going on in washington, dc. Its been bought by corporations, and my question to the American People<\/a> is who do you think is going to change that . Im tom steyer and i approve this message. Stephen hey, thats it for the late show, everybody. Good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group<\/a> at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry where it is you come from","publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"archive.org","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","width":"800","height":"600","url":"\/\/ia802803.us.archive.org\/14\/items\/KPIX_20200220_073500_The_Late_Show_With_Stephen_Colbert\/KPIX_20200220_073500_The_Late_Show_With_Stephen_Colbert.thumbs\/KPIX_20200220_073500_The_Late_Show_With_Stephen_Colbert_000001.jpg"}},"autauthor":{"@type":"Organization"},"author":{"sameAs":"archive.org","name":"archive.org"}}],"coverageEndTime":"20240716T12:35:10+00:00"}