Slow the testing down, please okay. Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, oklastayedhomea. Plus stephen welcomes james corden and musical guest bright eyes, with a special appearance by laura benanti. Featuring jon batiste and stay homin. Live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen you want to see me do a tik tok dance, baby . You like that, baby . Mmm, mmm. I dont know if its going to happen. Wwelcome to a late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. Hope you had a great weekend. It was a bit of a tough one for president trump. His rally was a bust. Boltons book got the goahead, and to top it off, he got a card yesterday reminding him hes erics father. Saturday nights rally was supposed to be trumps big moment. Hes been jonesing for the frothedup crowd for three months. His campaign was advertising it as the Great American comeback festival. Thats right. This indoor rally of thousands of screaming fans was a chance for a comeback for trump and covid19. One of thems gonna have a really good fall. Leading up to the rally, trump predicted greatness over a Million People requested tickets. Well, theres just a hunger for the rallies, and i enjoy doing them, but they enjoy them, more importantly than me, they enjoy them, it gives energy to everybody. We expect to have, you know, its like a recordsetting crowd. Weve never had an empty seat. And we certainly wont in oklahoma. Stephen hes right, there wasnt an empty seat. There were thousands of them. Wow thats a lot of empty space and aimless mingling. Thats like a beyonce concert of just the dads who were dropping their daughters off. The emptiest of the empty seats were on the stadiums upper deck. So before anyone says that the Trump Campaign crapped the bed, they clearly pulled an upper decker. Trumps team was so overconfident about attendance, they built an overflow stage outside for a prerally speech by trump and pence, for their estimated crowd of 40,000. Instead, the crowd was 25 people. Thats not a president ial rally, thats the private party room at the olive garden. 25 people . Doesnt say great things when there are fewer people in your crowd than have credibly accused you of sexual assault. In fact, there were so few people at the overflow stage that the campaign decided to dismantle it while the event inside was just starting. It reminds me of the beautiful message in a field of dreams. If you build it, people still wont like you. S tohis dister ersp, the arena trump spoke in can hold more than 19,000 people, but only 6,200 people attended. That is one third capacity i dont want to be a glasshalfempty guy, but half empty would be a huge improvement. According to those in the know, before the rally started, trump and several Staff Members stood backstage and gazed at the empty bank of Oklahoma Center in horror. So the campaign sent out a lastditcheffort text reading, doors are open at the b. O. K. Center. President trump cant wait. Theres still space come on, guys. Have a little chill. Thats like grouptexting your coworkers doors are open at my Birthday Party in my back yard bowl of baby carrots cant wait theres still ranch so why on earth did they think a Million People wanted tickets . The answer is, as usual, internet pranksters. Because tiktok users took partial credit for inflating attendance expectations, saying, they completed the free online registration for the rally with no intention of going. It was also the ppers, fs of korroa have registered hundrefke forpry as a prank. I just want to say to k pop fans, i want to thank you from the bottom of my heart which im told this is in the k pop world, and i hope thats not another prank. News reports said trump was angry at his Campaign Staff over the rally but White House Press secretary kaleigh mckenany denied that he was upset the president was not angry at all. The president was quite energized. He was in a great mood, it was a great night and there was a lot to celebrate. Stephen oh, a lot to celebrate. Lets see his triumphant return to the white house after tulsa celebrate good times, come on its a celebration even after the rally was over, the bad news kept coming for the president , because it was revealed today that two of his Staff Members who attended the trump rally on saturday have tested positive for the coronavirus. Wow, imagine how dangerous that wouldve been if people had shown up and even before the rally, six members of the advance team tested positive and the number of people connected to the event who test positive is expected to rise. You know, trump is going to spin that as a positive. as trump while the Million People who registered for the event could have gotten covid19, i bravely exposed only 6,000 people. I saved literally hundreds of thousands of lives with my record unpopularity and general air of turd in a punch bowl. Not only was trumps crowd size evyo whats at stake in f the choice in 220 is very simple. Stephen as trump yes, the choice in 220 is very simple. Will you bow to the left wing visigoths, or, like a true patriot, vote for Emperor Marcus aurelius antoninus augustus . Make the empire great again. Is that good . Right now, coronavirus cases are surging in 23 states, and that doesnt make trumps handling of the virus look competent, but the president says, its not his fault. And with testing, you know, testing is a double edged sword. Heres the bad part. When you do testing to that extent, youre going to find more people, youre going to find more cases. So i said to my people, slow the testing down, please. Stephen covid has killed over 120,000 americans, and he wants to slow down testing, but at least said please. as trump mother may i. Kill all the old everyone . To try to deflect blame from himself, trump tried out some new names for the coronavirus. Stephen covid19. That name gets further and further away from china, as opposed to calling it the chinese virus. Oh, its covid. Its this again. By the way, its a disease without question, has more names than any disease in history. I can name kung flu. Stephen that name is incredibly offensive. And thats not me talking, thats white house Senior Adviser kellyanne conway, who said this in march when she found out someone in the white house used that phrase. Of course its wrong. Thats very hurtful and unhelpful, so you should tell us all who it is. Id like to know who it is. Stephen careful what you ask for, kellyanne. You know what they say ignorance is your boss. But now that she knows who it is, kellyanne is going to march into the oval office and give that guy a piece of her soul. Trump also talked about the other pressing National Issue on everyoind thatime h couldnt walk ramp la week. He had some excuses. So we walked like the equivalent of about three blocks, which is fine. We go onstage, which is fine. The sun is pouring down on me, okay. The stage was higher than this one and the ramp was probably 10 yards long. Because im wearing leather bottom shoes, which is good if youre walking on flat surfaces. Its not good for ramps. This was a steel ramp. It had no handrail, it was lik an ice skating rink. Really steep, really, really, really its an ice skating rink, its brutal. Stephen if that felt really, really, really long, its because it was. Trump talked about rampgate for a whopping ten minutes and 23 seconds. Which is almost as long as it took him to get down that ramp. Ramp slam stephen but enough with the excuses about why he couldnt walk down a ramp. At west point, trump also had trouble drinking a glass of water, and he had an excuse for that too. And i dont want to get water on the tie, and i dont want to drink much, so i lift it up, the water. I see we have a little glass of water. Where the hell did this water come from . Where did it come from . I look down at my tie because ive done it. Ive taken water and it spills down onto your tie, doesnt look good for a long time and frankly, the tie is never the same. Stephen well, that is reassuring. The president has no trouble Drinking Water onehanded, he just cant do it without dribbling all over himself. Then came the big moment. cheers and applause stephen thats how low the bar is for trump. He gets applause for sipping water. The reminds me of eisenhowers reelection slogan i like ike because he can use the big boy potty. And take a look at what trump does after successfully downing some water. cheers and applause so he proved he can drink a glass of water, he just cant put it down. He should be careful. Or hes going to have to tell a 10 minute story about how he cant walk off that stage. as trump some idiot threw broken glass and water all over the stairs. I think it was antifa. Trumps bad weekend started when a federal judge ruled that my guest tomorrow night, former National Security adviser john bolton, could publish his new book. But it wasnt a total victory because, thanks to the ruling, bolton may be in jeopardy of forfeiting his two Million Dollar advance. Oh, jeopardy then this joke will be in the form of a question who cares . Last night, to warm up for my interview, bolton sat down with abcs martha raddatz. And raddatz asked bolton about trumps place in history. How do you think history will remember donald trump . I hope it will remember him as a oneterm president who didnt plunge the country irretrievably into a downward spiral we cant recall from. We can get over one term. Two terms, im more troubled about. Stephen okay. But most of us are pretty troubled by the first term. If i went to a restaurant where the waiter spit in my chowder, and slashed my tires, my first thought wouldnt be i sure hope my next visit here isnt troubling. Raddatz also asked bolton about his claim that he had personally witnessed trump tying u. S. Aid to a ukraine investigation into joe biden. What exactly did the president say to you . Well, he directly linked the provision of that assistance with the investigation. The president denied it, tweeting, i never told john bolton that the aid to ukraine was tied to investigations into democrats, including the bidens. Is the president lying . Yes he is. And its not the first time, either. Stephen what . The president lies. All this and more in boltons explosive new book the room where, no bleep , thats what happened. Weve got a show for you tonight. James corden is here. But when we come back, a visit with the first lady, Melania Trump stick around. Last nights sleep, interrupted by pain . Tonight, silence it with new zzzquil night pain. Because pain should never get in the way of a restful nights sleep. New zzzquil night pain. Silence pain, sleep soundly. Amazing school district. The hoa has been very involved. These shrubs arent board approved. You need to break down your cardboard. Thank you. Violation. Violation. I see youve met cynthia. At least geico makes bundling our home and Car Insurance easy. And it does help us save a bunch of money. Two inches over regulation. Thanks, cynthia. For bundling made easy, go to geico. Com for just 100 a month. Switch to sprint and get four lines of unlimited plus, to really amp this up, were including four amazing iphone 11s, on us, when you trade in iphone 6ss or newer, in any condition. And now, sprint customers enjoy access to expanded coverage on the tmobile network. For people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay. Com. We stick together, for worse or for better yeah h anndr, yourey frn need. C we stick together, br we make it all feel better, youre my, youre my, woo, yeah youre my family. yo youre my family. With notes of monoi blossoms and coconut milk that ignite your mood. True fragrance crafted only by glade. Sc johnson. Welce back. Io fur, let y hello tour fri. Jon hey, jon. Jon whats happening . I found a court. Stephen really . Jon we got to play horse. Stephen get ready. Im going to rock your world. Im going to surprise you. Youre going to go, where did that come from jon who do you play your game after. Stephen alex english. Back in the 70s, the big basketball dynasty with coach mcguire back in the 1970s. Who do you model yourself after . Jon i would probably have to say magic johnson. Stephen thats a good one. Jon i love how hes smiling all the time while hes playing. Would you care to share any music with us. Jon yeah, yeah. Stephen youre under no obligation to do so, but if you felt like it. Stephen teco teco . Jon yeah, thats right stephen that will get you in a good mood, no matter what. Jon lets lift it up. Stephen jon batiste, everybody. Jon yes, indeed. Stephen see friend. Folks, my guest tomorrow night, former National Security advisor john boltons book is getting so much attention i havent even gotten to mention a controversial new book by another one of the president s adversaries, Melania Trump. Washington post reporter mary jordans unauthorized biography, the art of her deal is making headlines for some bold revelations about the first lady. For example, after the inauguration, rather than moving into the white house, melania stayed in new york, using the move as leverage to renegotiate her prenup. Specifically, she wanted proof in writing that when it came to financial opportunities and inheritance, barron would be treated as more of an equal to trumps oldest three children. You know you got a bad deal when you have to fight to be equal with eric trump. The book also claims that, with melania absent, ivanka trump moved to grab as much power as she could and even suggested renaming the first ladys office to the first family office. Also renaming the library of congress, ivankas book club. And things seem a little tense for the first couple right now. Take a look at this recent appearance together. Where the president seems to ask the first lady to smile and she reacts with. Whatever this is. Wow. If looks could kill, the secret service wouldve wrestled her to the ground. Of course, whenever one of these unauthorized books is released, its impossible to know how much is true. So here to tell us how much is true, is the first lady of the united states, Melania Trump. Hello, Stephen Stephen madam first lady, thank you for being here. Its been a while. Oh, yes. I have been keeping out to have the public eye. But during difficult times, America Needs the first ladys warm, comforting presence. Stephen what was that . Are you okay . Oh, yes, stephen, of course im okay. Cant you tell by my smile . Stephen there you go. Sure, i caught that one. So how are you holding up with everything going on right now . Oh, stephen. Stephen, these protesters are frightening. Every day, they tear down another cold, lifeless monument to white supremacy, i cant help but worry, am i next . Stephen by the way, madam first lady, can i ask where you are now . Im quarantined in an undisclosed location to avoid the virus which is my nickname for ivanka trump. Oh stephen im glad youre keeping socially di a eas aump rally in here laughter stephen speaking of whi what do u thinof your tulsa saturday night . Like his performance every night, way smaller than promised, and everyone involved should get tested. Stephen sounds wise. So lets talk about this new biography about you, maam . Oh, this book dont believe what you read. This book makes me out to be a ruthless, coldhearted manipulator who will stop at nothing to get what i want, but its also full of lies stephen lets get into some of the allegations, maam. According to your book, after your husband won the election, you renegotiated the prenumb. Is that true . Totally false. I hope one day to negotiate a postnup. Stephen after you finally moved in, there had to be a period of adjustment because the book said you were uncomfortable with the title first lady and you asked thempeople not the call you that. I know my husband, stephen, if you give him a first lady, he wants a second lady and a third lady. Its give a mouse a cookie situation. Stephen the book claims you exaggerated achievements like getting an architecture degree or knowing five languages, is that true . No. Thats spanish for no. I cant believe the book would make accusations against me, a physicists who stormed normandy and pulled baby jessica audit of that well stephen the book accuses you of leveraging power against the president. Is that true . I oly here to help my husband. When he says, hey, take a picture with me, or im stuck in a chair again, and i always politely agree with the ten magic words. Stephen what are those . I would like you to do us a favor. Stephen that makes sense. The book shows you as being a helpless victim of donald trump. In slovenia, we have a saying appear weak when you are strong, strong when you are weak and keep copies of your tax returns on your person at all times. Stephen first lady Melania Trump, everybody activate smile. Stephen well be right back with james corden. Oh, it hurts best battery if when we closed our doors in march, wynn committed instantly to keeping all 15,000 team members onboard. We then focused our fivestar level of service to all who needed it. We made improvements to peoples lives. We strove to be better and we made people happy. This closure may have temporarily taken us out of wynn and encore, but it couldnt take the wynn and encore out of us. And now, we are proud to welcome you back. Stephen welcome back. He is the tony and Emmy Awardwinning actor you know as the host of the late late show on cbs. Please welcome to a late show, james corden hello, james corden. How are you . Are you well . Stephen knock wood. Knock wood, im physically well. Mentally, obviously, the squirrel cage isnt doing all that well. Lou you . Same. Exactly the same. Stephen yes. You know, its a strange time. Stephen so whats it like doing your show right now . First of all, whos your crew . Because as you know, my lovely wife evie is my crew, and i would ask her to come on camera but shes more attractive than i am so i dont want to lower her expectation fos mer. Im alone in my garage. Stephen no one but you . Im completely alone. Ill show you im alone. I cant, this is all wired in. My garage door is there. The other side, theres a curtain here with a fridge freeder whicfreed frir which is covered in so many blankets. Stephen because the coil is humming . Because of the noise. So if anybody ever needs to get somethi