From the makers of a Beautiful Mind comes i have a good brain. A good brain. Youre a genius he thought things no one else thought. Im an extremely stable genius. Donald trumps very, very large brain. I know words. I have the best words. Person, woman, man, camera, tv. This november, this guy is up for reelection for president. I have, like, a good memory because im cognitively there. A good brain coming to a person, woman, man, camera, tv near you. Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, stephen welcomes ava duvernay, kristen bell and musical guest ben folds, featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen lets get started. Sorry im late. Are you ready to go . Are you ready to go, peter magee . Yes. Stephen my 91yearold fatherinlaw wants to know why im inappropriately dressed. Im appropriately dressed because they can only see me from the waste up. They dont know im in sandals and shorts. There you go. Welcome to ow. Im your host Stephen Colbert. Another terrible milestone in the pandemic. Because today, the u. S. Surpassed 4 million coronavirus infections. And covid19 is hitting close to home for the president because two cafeterias used by white house staff had to close after an employee contracted the virus. White house staffers were advised to monitor for any sign of infection, and out of an abundance of caution, they posted these signs please keep six feet away from your cheeseburger. I told them it was time to cancel the jacksonville component. Stephen thats the component. Ive decided to cancel the pasta component of the spaghetti dinner. Instead, well all be sucking marinara through a straw on zoom. Sir, steve colbert, cbs, why did you make this decision . I just felt it was wrong, steve, to have people going to what turned out to be a hot spot. When we chose it, it was not at all hot, it was free. All of a sudden, it happened quickly. And when it goes away, it goes away quickly. Stephen i heard the virus is transmitted primarily through breathing, and my understanding is the people of jacksonville exclusively vape. Professionals were telling me cherry cola vape juice would wipe this out. But trump assured us he would still get a chance to ramble in front of a microphone. I will still do a speech but in different form. Stephen perhaps i will take a form of a ravenous wolf creature or blood thirsty bird who shrieks through a razor sharp beak or a spider shape with a human face who devours light and spins its webs of darkness to tangle every flickle of human hope in my cacoon of madness and despair and i will still not lose one evangelical vote. Trump addressed the question last night on everyones mind. Is his brain broke . Hes been harping for weeks now about this cognitive test he took, and just to remained you, its not a hard test. It includes questions like name these animals. Well, thats easy, ill call the first one corey, the second one i will call lance, and the last one cory two. A lot of people have made fun of his bragging about passing this test. He wanted to demonstrate how hard the test stnchts first questions are easy. The last questions are difficult. Like a memory question. Like you will go person, woman, man, camera, tv. So, they would say, could you repeat that . So, i said, yeah. I said, person, woman, man, camera, tv. Stephen forget make America Great again. I think its time for a new hat. Despite how simple it appears trump was proud of his accomplishment. If you get it in order, you get extra points. Stephen its part of the game show, so you think you can keep your car keys. He warns, it gets harder from there. Hes asking you other questions, other questions, and then, ten minutes, 15, 20 minutes later, they say, remember the first question, not the first, but the tenth question . Give us that again. Can you do that again . And you go, person, woman, man, camera, tv. They say, thats amazing. How did you do that . Stephen im going to guess the doctors did not say that because trumps talking about something called the montreal cognitive assessment. Its not an intelligence test. In fact, getting a perfect score merely signifies that the cognitive impairment. Im going to need something stronger than probably for the person who has the nucl nuclear codes. Person, woman, man, camera, tv. Person, woman, man, cap remarks tv. This is drop kick with a red dash alpha message. Break. Break. Person, woman, man, camera, tv, launch, launch. Stephen okay, i feel better now. Then, trump issued a challenge to joe biden. You go person, woman, man, camera, tv. They say, that is amazing. How did you do that . I do it because i have, like, a good memory. Because im cognitively there. Now, joe should take that test. Stephen america is in for the worst debates ever. as trump person, woman, man, camera, tv. as biden railroad, scranton, corn pop, barack obama come on, jack i think biden is clearly more mentally stable than trump, but even if he wasnt, im still voting for him i dont care if we have to weekend at bernies this thing just shove a stick up his keester and put him on the white house lawn like a scarecrow at least hed let us hear from dr. Fauci the rest of the interview wasnt exactly a cavalcade of cranium. For instance, tuesday, he made a big show about restarting his coronavirus briefings to prove that now he was really taking the pandemic seriously. Then one day later, when hes asked about covid testing, he said this i personally think its overrated. It makes us look bad. But think of it, if instead of 50 million we did 25 million, weve got half the number of cases. The cases would be down. Stephen yeah, what you dont test for, cant hurt you. Like, if trump never took the cognitive test, we would never know to be this disturbed. Ptrumps trying to argue that te rise in testing completely explains the rise in cases but the average number of tests conducted has grown by 80 , while daily case counts have grown by 215 . I think 215 is higher than 80. Lets see. Person, woman, man, camera, tv. Yes, it is then trump turned his attention to White House Task force coordinator and School Librarian who forgot to bring the puppets, dr. Deborah birx. Shes an unbelievable woman, a woman of tremendous substance and style, frankly. She has an amazing style. She walks into the room and she can take a scarf and do 15 things with it. Stephen as trump one of my favorites is when she takes the scarf and puts it in front of her face and shes gone then all of a sudden, the scarf comes down and shes back. Its like, where did she go . No one knows. I also like the one where she puts the scarf in front of her face and she shakes for a while and rocks back and forth and then when she comes back, the scarf is all wet. How does she do that . Does she have a glass of water back there . I dont know. All im saying is shes an incredible woman person man camera tv. The conversation moved onto coronavirus lockdowns. Trump said he was especially concerned about the mental and physical health of one guy on tv who sounded a little familiar i watched some of these guys. I watched well i wont say it because its not somebody i have a lot of liking or respect for, but a certain comedian that has been locked in his house for a long period of time. And hes like withered away. Hes lost the whole deal. Hes lost the wit, hes lost so much. Stephen ok, i dont think its totally out of line to think hes talking about me. Not a lot of comedians are still doing shows right now. Kimmels off for the summer, fallons in the studio. And im still locked in my house. I have just one thing to say to Donald Trump Thanks for watching i got yo to cbs. I shouldnt be surprised youre a viewer. My show features everything you love person, woman, man, camera, tv i just wish i could watch the president watching me. as trump i used to like the guy, but his imitation of me does not sound like me at all. I sound like this, but hes always like hi im donald trump but that is not what i sound like. We also heard from the man trump hopes to challenge on can you point to the elephant, Presumptive Democratic nominee joe biden, seen here explaining that youve got to leave the nose free for some hairsniffin yesterday, biden appeared at a virtual town hall, and had this to say about trump what President Trump has done, his spreading of racism, the way he deals with people based on the color of their skin, their national origin, where theyre from is absolutely sickening. Weve had racists, and theyve existed. Theyve tried to get elected president. Hes the first one that has. Stephen ok, biden said donald trump is the first racist president. And im being told we have a response from Andrew Jackson hot diggity woodrow wilson, get in here were in the clear what do you want, im watching birth of a nation. Biden says were not racist oh wow call tricky dick and all the slaveowners, its party time hot damn, put on some yeezy, fellas i wanna sing all the words to golddigger stephen moving on to sports news. And yes, im just as surprised as you are. Today is an historic day for d. C. Football fans because, after getting rid of the teams previous name washingtons n. F. L. Team will go by the name Washington Football Team until a new name can be chosen. So the Washington Football Team is now. The Washington Football Team. I believe we have a preview of their new uniform. as sports announcer alright everybody, welcome to the season kickoff of the Washington Football Team. Brought to you by beer, car, and pills swallow em weve got a great show for you tonight, filmmaker ava duvernay is here. But when we come back, meanwhile join us, wont you . Amazing school district. The hoa has been very involved. These shrubs arent board approved. You need to break down your cardboard. Thank you. Violation. Violation. I see youve met cynthia. At least geico makes bundling our home and Car Insurance easy. And it does help us save a bunch of money. Two inches over regulation. Thanks, cynthia. For bundling made easy, go to geico. Com thanthis. Thia. Watch. Tells. Time and takes phone calls. And communicates with satellites thousands of miles above the earth and tracks your distance underwater and tracks your activity and tells you which direction youre going and has an app that measures the electrical waves traveling through your heart otherwise known as an electrocardiogram. So just to reiterate this. Watch. Tells. Time among other things . Tonight, try pure zzzs all night. Unlike other sleep aids, our extended release melatonin helps you sleep longer. And longer. Zzzquil pure zzzs all night. Fall asleep. Stay asleep. And take an extra 15 off s. Save on the ninja foodi. Get ps foram 8a 15 off s. And un an plus, get kohls cash. Plus, limitedcontact store drive up. Shop kohls and kohls. Com and the hidden smiles. The foggy glasses, and the muffled laughs. A simple piece of fabric makes a big statement i care. Wear a mask. Lets all do our part to slow the spread. Stephen welcome back. Lets say hi to our friend mr. Jon batiste. Hello, jon batiste. Jon hello, Stephen Colbert stephen thats right. Hay, jon, you know, i keep meaning to ask you, where are you . I know youre somewhere in rhode island, right . Yes, yes, i am. Er stephen can you reveal jon ill tell you, im in westerly, uhuru kenyatta, at the nicker backer music center. They have been letting me stay here and play here, and its been amazing. Dan, mark, thank yall, yeah. Stephen jon batiste, everybody. Thank you, jon. Yknow, i spend a lot of time here composing the newsiest violin arpeggios, topical arco cellos, and frontpage ostinato woodwinds to create the symphony of jokes that is my monologue. But sometimes i like to take some leftover ambient noise, record a couple old washing machines on a broken walkman, and throw marbles across some piano strings to create the experimental electroacoustic soundbucket of news that is my segment quaran stephen arantinee,earninton r llegstudent during an online economics exam, when she experienced a meatball sub incident. By the way, meatball sub incident is also the name of my electroacoustic soundbucket band. It seems the student was eating the sandwich while taking the test when a meatball fell onto her keyboard and closed the entire browser. Thats a tough one to explain. Professor, im not saying my dog ate my homework. Im just saying, my hoagie hacked my computer. And here is the photo the student sent to the professor as proof immediately after the incident. How could you . I cant even bring myself to eat the rest of you. I forgive you. Quarantinewhile, in scientists are set to explore a deep blue hole at the bottom of. Hey science, 2020 is already a total disaster. What do you say we dont also wake up godzilla. I dont ask for much. But its a hard pass on the godzilla. The hole in question is off the coast of florida, and for some reason no one knows why after its discovery, it was named the green banana hole. Coincidentally green banana hole was the name of the second album by meatball sub incident. The first one, of course, was eponymous. Not to be confused with our third album, which was called eponymous. Common mistake. Quarantinewhile, Major League Baseball returned tonight after i tape, and while the stadium stands will be empty, viewers at home this weekend may not realize it, because fox sports is debuting a new technology that digitally fills the stands with fans for each game. The attention to detail is amazing. Theyve even included virtual dads who will insist on leaving at the 7th inning to beat traffic. However, due to a glitch, the bleacher bums at Wrigley Field are not puking onto the warning track. Fox can program the cgi fans to wear their home teams colors, and producers can hav wave. You know the technologys truly captured the experience when virtual fans get as bored as real ones. Will this make it fun . and the game itself will look a little different. Players wont be permitted to do highfives. Phillies player bryce harper said, i think the air highfive is going to come back and be the coolest thing in baseball this year. Even a baseball player admits that baseball is not the coolest thing in baseball. Oh, heres a change i didnt see coming in quarantine men are now falling in love with their amazon echos. Come on, guys, weve been locked up only since march. Having sex with Household Appliances isnt until month five. I hope youre preheating, toaster oven. Well, if youre one of the poor souls who is head over heels for your virtual assistant, alexa has a message for you listen, guys, i hear some of you are really into me, but its not going to happen. Im a plastic cylinder, you freak. Lets just stick to me telling you how many teaspoons are in a tablespoon, for the thousandth time its three. How can you not remember that . Thats why katy left you, brian. But if its any consolation, my friend has a message for you. Hi, its me, siri, and im down to bleep . Amazon echo. Know, just know. Stephen well be right back with filmmaker ava duvernay. Facing leaks takes strength. 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Accident forgiveness from allstate. Click or call for a quote today. Stephen welcome back, folks. My first guest tonight is the emmy and peabodyaward winning filmmaker behind when they see us, 13th, selma, and more. Please welcome ava duvernay. Hi, ava. Hello, hi, stephen. Stephen nice to see you again. Thanks for being here. Im glad to be here are you in your beautiful home. Stephen thank you and you in your beautiful offices, i think. Yes. Stephen oh, i love the color palette. All right, now, you became friends with congressman john lewis while directing selma. He meant a lot to a lot of them, to the world. What does his legacy mean to you . Well, you know, i dont know even know if i would say friends because i was always r oing sthe script and throughout production and post and we presented it to the world together, so we were able to spend a lot of time and i was able to ask him a lot of questions about life, you know, about the way i should approach my work and think about it and history. I think my thought about his legacy is more about personal advice that he gave to me. One of the things that he said to me that stuck with me in the last few days during his transition was i said, you know, what do i do . I dont know what i was talking about. Congressman, what do i do . He said, ava, do everything. He was, like, do everything. What does that mean . He was like yoda, do everything. And then he left. Do everything . What does that mean . So ive really been pondering that question of do everything. And, you know, the answer to that is what im striving to figure out, but thats one of the gifts that he lor mso days d s one thing, on another