How do you bounce back . You dont, you bounce forward, with serious and reliable internet. Powered by the largest gig Speed Network in america. But is it secure . Sure its secure. And even if the power goes down, your connection doesnt. So how do i do this . You dont do this. We do this, together. Bounce forward, with comcast business. And comfortably shop over a million square feet of in stock flooring our expansive store is fully equipped with safe distancing guides, so you can browse our wide aisles and be amazed with our even wider selection. Or easily order online, and pick up all the products you need for your flooring project curbside so come discover the perfect floor at the perfect price in whatever way is perfect for you. All in one stop visit floor and decor in person or online. The late show with Stephen Colbert is next. Thanks for watching, the news will continue streaming on cbsn bay area. Dont eat too many flipflops. I will try captioning sponsored by cbs welcome to our town hall with President Trump. Mr. President , thank you for joining us. Thank you very much, george. Were here with a group of pennsylvania voters. All have written their own questions. Okay. Take it away. President trump, how would you summarize your Covid Response in three words . Death, death, death. President trump, there has been so much turnover in your administration. Can you take us through what happens to people who work for you . Their life is ruined. Their wife or their husband will leave. The whole thing, its a very scary thing to do. How much of your diet is Fried Chicken . 150 . Mr. President , what is that bulge in your jacket . I brought this along today, because i think its i think its something thats really very special. Its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight plus, stephen welcomes Drew Barrymore and musical guest lang lang featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan Theater Office building in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen what . Welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Lets get straight to the Huge Campaign news, because yesterday, joe biden was endorsed by Scientific American. I assume because of all the horrible things trump has done to science and america. Now, this is unexpected because it is scientific Americans First president ial endorsement in its 175year history. Think of all the candidates that Scientific American did not feel compelled to throw their weight behind lincoln, f. D. R. , heck, they didnt even endorse hoover, and he invented the vacuum cleaner and this is not merely an endorsement of joe biden. The magazine warned that donald trump has badly damaged the u. S. And its people, because he rejects evidence and science not just rejecting it. He also defies science. I mean, its an affront to physics and gravity that someone could remain upright with this posture. At the heart of Scientific Americans critique is trumps abysmal response to covid19. Hes denied the science. Hes lied about the science. Hes mocked the science. Come november 3, hes desperate that youll forget why youre standing six feet apart and why youre all swaddled like the guys who came to take away e. T. Drew barrymore is on tonight. We should give her a trigger warning before she sees that. Who knows what that could bring back. I dont know why he thinks that will work. He wants you to ignore reality, and i guess hes making reality so bad that that becomes an appealing option. Of course, not everybodys buying it. Case in point, last night, trump attended a town hall in philadelphia. He was in full pander mode, even on the way down there. He tweeted out this picture of himself on air force one with a philly cheesesteak. Well, based on Michael Cohens book, im guessing its not the first time hes ordered something with extra wiz. Milk, milk, lemonade lefthand round of corner slam is made. Stephen but this town hall wasnt trumps usual rabid rally it was made up of undecided voters. Wow, undecided i assume the night started with each of them being roused from a coma. What year is it . Whos president . Put me back. And these undecided voters decided not to go easy on trump it costs me with copays, im still paying almost 7,000 a year in addition to the copay. And should preexisting conditions, which obamacare brought into brought to fruition be removed . No. Please stop and let me finish my question, sir. Stephen oh, shes living out all of our fantasies shes telling donald trump to stop talking until shes finished her question. And he stopped talking. Quick followup maam, could you keep asking that question until november . One voter was angry about trumps downplaying of the pandemic, something we heard trump admit to doing in a taped conversation with bob woodward. If you believe its the president s responsibility to protect america, why would you downplay a pandemic that is known to disproportionately harm lowincome families and minority communities . Yeah. Well, i didnt downplay it. I actually, in many ways, i upplayed it in terms of action. Stephen as trump i didnt downplay. In fact, i upplayed, and theres one thing i can promise you no foreplay. I dont believe in it. Its the devils waiting room. And you know hes lying, because we have it on tape. In fact, i think we have a tape that i think we gave to one of my editors, who i think to remix into i think a dance track, and i think it goes a little like this. I didnt downplay it. In many ways i upplayed it in terms of action. I always wanted to play it down. I still like playing it down. I upplayed. Down, down. The great thing about the age in which we live, its all down on tape. Down on tape. Down on tape. Stephen after lying about not downplaying it, he lied about winston churchill. When churchill was on the top of a building and he said, everythings going to be good, everythings going to be be calm. And you have the nazis dropping bombs all over london, he was very brave, because he was at the top of a building. Stephen first of all, churchill was famously honest with the british people about how devastating the war could be. Second, he didnt go to the top of buildings. I think trump has him confused with another famous fat white guy. as trump every year, churchill went up on the roof with his eight tiny cabinet members, then he slid down the chimney and gave all the good little boys and girls cigars, brandy and gout. Chimchimchurrey. Trump insisted that churchill was just as big a liar as he is. He says, everyones going to be safe, i dont think thats being necessarily honest. And yet, i think its being a great leader. But he said, youre going to be safe, be calm, dont panic. And you had bombers dropping bombs all over london. So i guess you could say thats not so honest. But its still great leadership. Stephen ah, yes, who can forget Winston Churchills famous radio address to the british people . We will fight on the beaches, we will fight on the landing grounds or not, the nazis will magically go away in april when the weather gets warmer. Stephen but churchill wasnt the only great leader trump compared himself to. I could be so pres i always used to sort of kid on the campaign trail that i could be trail that i could be more president ial be very easy more president ial than any other candidate, except for possibly Abraham Lincoln when hes wearing the hat. Stephen as trump dont kid yourself. Lincoln was nothing without. That hat. Its like that song there must have been some magic in that silk hat on his head cause when finally took it off John Wilkes Booth shot him dead, oh Abraham Lincoln blah blah blah gettysburg address. At one point, George Stephanopoulos asked the president to reflect on his pandemic response. Could you have done more to stop it . I dont think so. I think what i did, by closing up the country, i think i saved two, two and a half, maybe more than that, lives. Stephen two and a half lives. I saved john cryer, charlie sheen, and the little half man. Then several undecided voters faulted trump for opposing the wearing of masks, but trump knew who to blame. I will say this they said at the Democrat Convention theyre going to do a National Mandate. They never did it, because teyve checked out, and they didnt do it. And a good question is, you ask, like joe biden, they said, were going to do a National Mandate on masks. He didnt do it. I mean, he never did it. Stephen thats a brutal takedown of President Biden you know what, now that i think about it, perhaps joe biden doesnt deserve another four years perhaps we should give this blondeheaded newcomer a chance perhaps he could sell us some trombones of course, trump is not promask. And hes not alone. Hes following the example of the real experts. By the way, a lot of people dont want to wear masks. There are a lot of people that think the masks are not good, and there are a lot of people, as an example who are those people . Ill tell you who those people are. Waiters. They come over and serve you, and they have a mask. I saw it the other day, when they were serving me and theyre playing with a mask. Im not blaming them. Im just saying what happens. Theyre playing with the mask. So the mask is over, and theyre touching it, and then theyre touching the plate. That cant be good. Stephen okay. So hes asked who he thinks doesnt think masks are a good idea, and his answer was waiters. Because i dont like what theyre doing. Trump cant even muster empathy in a thought experiment. Sir, i can promise you, theres one waiter who will take off his mask whoever spits in your next bowl of soup. Now, trump brags about trying to fasttrack vaccines, but also that he doesnt need to. It would go away without the vaccine, george, but its going to go away a lot faster. It would go away without the vaccine . Sure, over a period of time. Sure, with time. And many deaths. And youll develop youll develop, like a herd mentality. Stephen okay, i think he meant herd immunity, which is a Massive Group of people developing immunity by sharing the disease freely, resulting in massive loss of life. Herd mentality is a bunch of people in red caps at an indoor rally during a pandemic. Also, resulting in millions of deaths. Trump isnt the only one trying to reach out to voters. So is democratic nominee and dad who just heard there was curly fries on the menu, joe biden. Old joe was in florida yesterday for an event honoring hispanic heritage month, and he kicked things off in a surprising way i just have one thing to say. Hang on here. despacito playing stephen he played despacito as biden que bueno i thought i liked the bieber remix, but this original slaps, jack. Still a belieber, though. You got that yummy yum, justin, come on quick side note pretty daring of bidens team to start an event by having biden find and play something on his phone. That is some highstakes grandpa poker. as biden uh oh. Whats a face i. D. . Whose face . There you go. Dance a little bit, joe. That was a bad biden impression even by my standards. My face . Hello, mabel . Of course, this move by biden may seem a little random, but he did actually have a reason for playing despacito. He was introduced to the stage by one of the artists behind the song, luis fonsi. Now, i know cbs sometimes has an older audience who might not know who luis fonsi is, so let me explain neither do i. Last night, trumped retweeted a last night, trumped retweeted a doctored version of bidens video. I just have one thing to say. bleep the Police Coming straight from the underground stephen wow, that takes really balls. To manipulate a video of your opponent to make him way cooler. Whats trump going to say next . as trump i saw joe biden smoking a spliff outside the 7eleven. The store clerk told him to stop, and he said, can it, daddio, and jumped into the sidecar of the Steve Mcqueens motorcycle. And they jumped a fence. Thats bad boy joe. Dont date him, girls now, the president ial election is only 48 days away. To put that in laymans terms, thats just four twelve days of christmases did that help you . Because it didnt help me. Voting has never been more important, but donald trump has deliberately created confusion about how to vote. And it doesnt help that the rules are different from state to state. So to help clarify things, last night i officially launched our new website betterknowaballot. Com that contains easytofollow voting information for every state. You just click on your state and you get the information you need about registering to vote, requesting an absentee ballot or voting early in person. Were even making videos for every state to help explain how to vote easily, early, and safely wherever you live. There are 13 videos up now for the states where you can start to receive ballots the soonest. Well be rolling out the rest in the coming days as other states get ready to send out absentee ballots. Now, the site went live last night, and guess what . Evidently, you are really interested in voting, because moments after i tweeted it, it got hit with so many visitors, it crashed. I dont understand. We hired the web designer who did obamacare. They were so cheap but we got things back up running and robust, and we are ready for the tsunami this time, because a lot of people want this information. I mean, they say porn is the most popular thing on the internet, but ive never seen a porn site crash. Also, ive never seen a porn site. I hear good things. And very bad things. Point is, if you want to vote and of course you do go to betterknowaballot. Com to get the info and the links you need to start voting in your state now. Then use the hashtag. Betterknowaballot to tell your friends and family. And your mortal enemies. Because everybody should vote. Weve got a great show for you tonight. Drew barrymore is here. But when we come back, triumph the insult comic dog holds a trump focus group. Its worth sticking around for. And save on koolaburra home musthaves. Plus, take an extra 10 off during the fall style event. Plus, get kohls cash plus, free store pickup. Find a little more this fall. Kohls. Drop the taco, get in the car. Does this sentra feel like a compromise to you . Wait what . The handling, its good right . No compromise there. Nope. Watch this. Brie brie. sfx rab beeps rear automatic braking. So if this Nissan Sentra isnt gonna compromise why should you . Youre right that a girl. The all new Nissan Sentra. With more standard safety features than any other car in its class. Theres so much to take advantage of. Like 0 copays on virtual visits. Wow uhhuh 0 copays on primary care visits and lab tests. Wow uhhuh plus, 0 copays on hundreds of prescription drugs. Wow uhhuh Unitedhealthcare Medicare advantage plans. Including the only plans with the aarp name. Most plans have a 0 premium. Its time to take advantage. Wow its time to take advantage. A mastersdgren, youin chemical engineering. , and youre technically a genius. And it appears youre quite the investor. I like to trade. Well, Td Ameritrade has pros ready if you need help, say talking through a new strategy. Just in case things, you know, get a little rocky . Im sorry on the upside i think thats waterproof. Maybe not. Which one of you ate all of the flamidad we wont be mad. . We just want to know the truth. Are we really doing this, glenn . I bet we were robbed. Its a cheetos thing. Mom glenn, come on. How did this get here . An extra 15 credit on car and motorcycle policies . Thats great thats 15 on top of what geico could already save you. So what are you waiting for . John stamos to knit you a scarf . All finished, jean. Enjoy thank you. I give. The stitch work is impeccable. Its just a double fleck pattern with a reverse garter stitch. No big deal. Is your hair this soft . Softer. Geico. Save an extra 15 when you switch by october 7th. Geico. If i could, baby id how can i, when you wont take it from me you can go your own way go your own way your wireless. Your rules. Only with xfinity mobile. Stephen welcome back, everybody. Drew barrymore is the guest tonight, right . Shes a national treasure. I love her. Shes got a talk show. Its about damn time. About damn time, entertainment industry. Sorry, i was angry. The Trump Presidency has been four years of him making shocking and hatefilled remarks. Ive often wondered is there anything he could, anything he could put out that would cause him to lose his most loyal supporters . To answer that question, i turned to someone else with a long history of making shocking remarks triumph, the insult comic dog. Over the last couple years, triumph has given the late show a series of hardhitting journalistic reports. Most recently, back in february, during simpler, happier times impeachment. And like me, triumph was curious about trumps supporters so he gathered some of them together. Jim . Despite the travesties of his coronavirus response, the failed economy, and californias exploding trees, President Trumps loyal followers have stuck with him through the good times and the end times. One wonders if anything the president says or does could cost him their herd mentality, so we brought these actual Trump Supporters to this actual focus Group Research center, where this actual moderator showed them a series of actual fake Trump Campaign ads. Thank you for coming in today. We appreciate you guys coming in. Just to sort of get, you know, grounded and for me to have some background, i would like you to tell me a little bit about why is President Trump your guy . I like money. Money. And he knows how to make it. Uhhuh. And he is not a politician. And its good to have somebody that that speaks some of the things that i want to just scream sometimes. As you can probably imagine, yo