And i was never a fan of brad pitt. He was a young, handsome, beautiful guy. Now i hes a little older but still handsome. I love our military. G. I. Joe is a loser. Your future is what im focused on each and every day. I just saw the picture of chris evans junk. Uh. Everyone loves it. Its fantastic. Uh. And it really looks like a massive i gotta go. phone clicks chewing oreos nnou sho with stephenolbert. Tonight, liar, liar earth on fire. Plus stephen welcomes bob woodward and musical guest luke combs, featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen nice. Hey, everybody. Welcome to a late show. Chris, mark, good to see you again. Good to see you out there, though of course i cant see you. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Were back after two weeks off the air. Thats a long time. I got really good at not doing my job. You should see me not do it. Its pretty unimpressive. A lot happened in those two weeks, but perhaps the most earthshattering news broke this weekend, when chris evans accidentally shared a penis pic. Yes, for one brief, shining moment, we got a glimpse of captain americas winter soldier. And it did not seem affected by the cold. Apparently, while trying to share something on instagram, evans inadvertently posted a screenshot of his photo gallery, and on the grid you can see what appears to be an erect penis. Now, the prudes at corporate tell me i cant show you an erect penis, even though half my commercials are about trying to maintain one. So let me put it this way you know that scene at the end of Avengers Endgame where captain america is able to lift thors hammer . Its not so surprising anymore. I knew it evie laughing stephen but theres so many truly important stories in the world right now, that i cannot in good conscience waste another second talking about the fact that the photo was black and white. Thats classy, like a french art film. Directed by jean luc gothard. evie laughing stephen and heres the rub because our president continues to run roughshod over our democratic norms and institutions, and ignores a global pandemic, we have to take the high road. Which i think is also the angle from which chris took a photo of his low road. And what a long and winding road it appears to be. It werent for the darkness of our present news cycle, we could happily do so many chris evans jokes right now. How many . I have a whole chris evans sack of jokes. Prop was worth it. But tonight, you wont even get a glimpse of the sack. Same policy as chris, if you saw the photo im talking about. The one of his penis. But here is my sacred vow if joe biden is elected on november 3, on november 4, we will cover chris evans penis. Something chris evans did not do. If you go to your polling place, i promise you we will go to his. But until that happy day, lets talk trump. Hes in california today to survey damage from the worst wildfires in californias history. Theyre so bad, that giant clouds of ash and smoke have generated lightning and fire tornadoes. Ok, 2020. Pestilence, pillars of fire. If youre going full old testament, wheres the river of blood . Because we could use it to put out the flaming tornadoes well, why is this years fire the worst in californias history . Lets ask california governor and guy whos never been seen in the same room with the batman, gavin newsom. Governor newsom has a very simple theory the debate is over around climate change. Just come to the state of california. Observe it with your own eyes. Mother nature is physics, biology and chemistry. She bats last and she bats 1,000. Thats the reality were facing, urgis douth reality. Now wildfires. H owup to catastrophe califoight now. You might as well be walking on the sun of course, trump denies Global Warming because he. Aint the sharpest tool in the shed so, he had another explanation which he shared on his way to california. Now trump decided not to talk to reporters for what we usually call chopper talk. But once he arrived at the airport in california, he chatted with the press in our new segment jetway jibber jabber stephen trump started out by explaining to the media how wild fires start. With regard to the forests, when trees fall down after a short period of time, about 18 months, they become very dry. They become really like a match stick. And they get up, you know, theres no more water pouring through, and they become very, very they just explode. They could explode. Stephen ah, the age old question if a tree falls in a forest and theres no one around to see, can you convince reporters that it exploded . Trump doesnt believe the problem is Global Warming a all. We have to do a lot about Forest Management. Obviously Forest Management in california is very important. And now it extends to washington, it extends to oregon. There has to be good, strong Forest Management, which ive been talking about for three years with the state so hopefully theyll start doing that. Stephen yes, its all california, washington, and oregons fault because they wont manage their forests except theres one small problem the federal government owns nearly 58 of californias forend ow 3 . Its basically like complaining that your neighbor is doing a terrible job mowing your lawn. He doesnt even trim the hedges and when is he going to do anything about all this weight ive gained . Californias secretary of Natural Resources did his best to cut through trumps history of Global Warming denial. We want to work with you to recognize the changing climate and what it means to our forests and actually Work Together with that science. That science is going to be key. Because if we ignore the science and sort of put our head in the sand and think its about vegetation management, were not going to succeed together protecting californians. Okay. It will start getting cooler, you just watch. laughter i wish science agreed with you. Well, i dont think science knows, actually. Stephen no, it knows. Just because you dont know doesnt mean the science doesnt know the science. Its like the nutrition facts on the box of oreo cookies. Just because i refuse to read it doesnt mean the serving size is one sleeve. And what a brave forecast. as trump it will start getting colder. Its september yeah. Its going to get colder as trump ive been studying the science of calendar, and i predict, by december, people will start bringing trees into their houses. Not a good idea. Those suckers can explode on you. Now it shouldnt be a surprise that trump is downplaying the devastating fires out west. Hes spent the last six months ignoring a pandemic. And we now know that trump wasnt just misinformed or stupid, he was lying. Its all in a new book by my guest tonight, bob woodward. A man many people consider to be the Carl Bernstein of investigative reporting. The book is called rage. Its a follow up to 2018s fear. And its a prequel to 2022s hangry. In preparation for the book, trump sat down with woodward for 19 taped interviews, and they were very revealing. Not as much as chris evans, but still. For instance, back in february and march, trump was publicly comparing the virus to an average flu and saying it would go away by april, but listen to what he told woodward on february 7 it goes through air, bob. Thats how its passed. And so thats a very tricky one. Thats a very delicate one. Its also more deadly than your you know, your, even your strenuous flus. So this is deadly stuff. Stephen so donald trump knew in february that coronavirus was passed through the air, was much deadlier than the flu, then he lied about it, and 200,000 people died. So, m. A. G. A. Really should stand for make american graves again. Then in march, trump explained to woodward why he lied. I wanted to i wanted to always play it down. I still like playing it down. Yes. Because i dont want to create a panic. Stephen yes, he didnt want to create a panic and trumps brain evidently has only two settings panic and lie. The book has a lot of other explosive revelations. For instance, heres what trump told woodward about his relationship with turkish strongman recep erdogan i get along very well with erdogan, even though youre not supposed to, because everyone says, what a horrible guy. But, you know, for me it works out good. Its funny, the relationships i have, the tougher and meaner they are, the better i get along with them. Stephen for some reason, trump and evil people just click he shares a laugh with vladimir putin, he hangs out with jeffrey epstein, and his doubles partner is the demogorgon. Roger demogorgon. Good guy, youd like him. Trump has a particularly special relationship with north korean dictator and man whose haircut was made for a man with a head half his size, kim jongun. In the book, trump described his chemistry with kim this way as trump you meet a woman. In one second, you know whether or not its going to happen. He walked in the room, and i knew immediately that kim was d. T. F dictator trumps friend. Not surprisingly, trump wasnt happy about rage, the book right here, tweeting and moaning about the as trump political hit job by rapidly fading bob woodward and his boring book. Wait a second there, chester. Boring book . Its 19 interviews of you talking. as trump bobs book is pathetic. Hours of interviews with some washedup reality show host who just blathers on like an idiot while letting 200,000 people die a preventable death . Boring of course, donald trump doesnt care if people die. Case in point, hes gone back to holding rallies. On saturday, trump scheduled one at the airport in reno, but was rejected because his rally would violate the states and local countys directives on public gatherings due to the coronavirus pandemic. You know your rally is a bad idea when its deemed too stupid for reno, thats where you go when vegas is like, take it easy, man. Youre scaring our sex workers. So the rally was moved to another airport, in minden, nevada. The place you go when reno is like hey, take it easy, man, youre scaring our drifters trump himself even acknowledged that he shouldnt be allowed to have rallies. We call this a protest, because if you call it a protest youre allowed to have it. Stephen yeah, its a protest. What do we want . Disease when do we want it . Within fourteen days of this event which is at least a fresh take compared to the chant they actually used chanting lock her up lock her up lock her up stephen are you bleep me . Youve had four years, and you got no new material . The crowd should be screaming make an effort write a chant then on sunday, trump held an indoor rally at the warehouse of a Company Called xtreme manufacturing. A company that i presume makes snowboards out of dirt bikes. This was such a bad idea, one doctor even said, president trumps indoor rally in nevada is negligent homicide. making trumps rally the dumbest political gathering since bill clinton accepted the democratic nomination at jurassic park. Now most of the speech was the usual hot garbage, but he did debut some new comedy outreach to latino voters i call em i say what do you prefer . Its very interesting, some say, call us latino. Stephen as trump and then they say uh, we dont sound like that. and i say maybe not, but that little chihuahua does. yo quiero your votes. Weve got a great show for you tonight. Bob woodward is here with exclusive, neverbeforeheard audio of donald trump, this is true. Stick around. When its hot outside your car is like a sauna steaming up lingering odors. Febreze car vent clips stop hot car stench with up to 30 days of freshness. vwith your next new vehicle . What kind of value are you looking for with subaru, you get Kelley Blue Books 2020 best resale value brand, 2020 lowest 5year cost to own brand, and most trusted brand for 6 consecutive years. No wonder Kelley Blue Book also picked subaru as their 2020 best overall brand. A trusted brand and a proven value. Its easy to love a subaru. Get 0 apr financing for 63 months on select subaru models, now through september 30th. peter walsh people came and they met and they felt comfortable. Its what we did with coogans. You felt safe and, if you were safe, you could be joyful. Everybody has a coogans. And almost half those small businesses, they could close if people dont do something. We have to keep our communities together. Thats how we get through this. [spoon clinking in mug] the Bulleit Frontier Fund is making a commitment to help bartenders keep doing what they do best. [spoon clinking in glass] lets keep our bartenders pouring. [spoon clinking in glass] we believe in good we can all afford sing it, yeah, yeah from coffee that opens more eyes to black business. All gold to me to a hundred shades of beautiful. Yeah, good to me but come ye back when su mom, dad. Whys jamie here . Its sunday. Sunday sing along. And he helped us get a home and auto bundle. Hes been our insurance guy for five years now. He makes us feel like were worth protecting. [ gasps ] why didnt you tell us about these savings, flo . Ive literally told you a thousand times. Oh, danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling im just gonna. From glen to glen im just gonna. Rush to work, grab a drink, hurry home. [cell phone beeps] stop dont be on your phone. Let someone else take the wheel. Make a little eye contact. Ke a pn. Ausy worlout ere. Were all in it together. Go safely, california. Put it in gear and take off. , next thing you know, the phone is in your hand should be holding the wheel, not holding the phone. Its a busy world out there. And were all in it together. Go safely, california. Stephen hey, everybody. Welcome back to a late show. Lets check in with our friend mr. Jon batiste. Hello, jon. Jon hello, stephen. Whoo come on season six, lets go lets go stephen that are, first show of season six. Jon lets go stephen thank you, thank you for being here for this long, strange trip. Jon oh, my goodness, a late show has been quite a show. This is the time were in. Whoo stephen give my love to your family. Jon yes. Stephen and all your loved ones. Jon of course. And, you know, likewise. Lets stay loved up, lets stay strong, come on, and push till november, come on, everybody. Stephen thats right, be brave, everybody. Go vote. Jon you know what im saying. Stephen can you hit us with a little voting music . Jon hello. Got to go vote got to go vote you got to go vote stephen i hear a hit, baby jon batiste, everybody. Jon lay it on have a good one stephen joining me tonight is a twotime Pulitzer Prize winner whose name is synonymous with investigative journalism. His latest book on the Trump Administration is called rage. Please welcome back to a late show, bob woodward bob, thank you so much for being here. Thank you. Stephen please, let me get a word in edgewise here, bob. Dont drown me with words now, this is your second book on the Trump Administration. You were here a couple of years ago for the book fear. Thats right. Stephen okay. So the first one is fear, this ones rage. Whats the next one going to be called, chaos . He would have to be reelected for me to do another book, and we dont know. He could win. Stephen he could, bob, that is exactly true. He proved that the last time. Yes. Stephen okay. The interview is off to a happy start, okay. The last time i asked you why people talk to you, bob. And id like to ask you again, why do you think trump spoke to you this time because he didnt talk to you last time. Thats right, and he regretted it, he said. And i think some people told he denounced the first book fear and said, oh, im a democratic operative, and its not true. And i think some people who work for him said, mr. President , it turns out its all true, and they told him that i would not put words in his mouth, i would let him i would give him a fair shake. And then rage, i think 15 to 20 are quotes from him from my nine hours of interviews with him. Stephen even though his staff may have said to him that bob woodward will give you a good shake, one of the aspects of fallout of this book, because its not a glowing portrait of the president here, spoiler alert to everybody no, it is not. Stephen who has not read it yet. I have two copies. I have the pretty one here and then i have the one that i actually read and the cover just burst into flames at one point and i had to throw it away. It can be pretty scathing at times, even from you directly. And some of his staff are basically throwing each other under the bus and saying, i dont know who let him speak to bob woodward, i wouldnt have let him speak to bob woodward. Did anyone try to stop you from speaking to the president . No, no. What happens, and we know this and this is part of the portrait of him, hes a oneman band. He decides, its the impulse, and, in a way, i think, around the white house, he doesnt drink. I think thats true. Hes the night prowler, and hes looking for something to do, and he picks up the phone, and co him 19 times, about seven of those he initiated. I had to run around the hopes with one of those olympus tape recorders in case he called. And one time he called and my wife elsa picked up and he said, is bob there . And she said, who is this . And he said, donald trump. And she said, oh, okay, ill get him. Stephen nixon, to drop a name youre familiar with, was famous for calling people in the middle of the night, sometimes when hed had a cocktail or two. Is there anything about trump wanting to talk to you thats reminiscent of nixons own insecurities and the way he would call people in the middle of the night . Well, i had a great advantage here over ten months, all of those interviews, i could prepare questions, i could think about what was going on, try to dig into because, in a very interesting way, which i did not fully appreciate because, normally, president s that i wrote books about either wouldnt talk to me or would do one interview with the press secretary sitting there with an igniter light if it got out of hand. laughter and, so, this was a full engagement, and the microphone is really like a microscope. I didnt realize that. Its not just words. If you read the words, they have one meaning, and if you actually do it in a way where you are you know, youre letting somebody go on and he tends to go on and on, you are looking at something more than the words because there is an attitude or an energy or disgust, like when i asked him about the black lives Matter Movement and whether he understood as a myself, if he comprehended the anger and pain that black people feel, and he just he just said, oh, wow, you should hear yourself, you drank the kool aid, scorned me, ridiculed me. On paper thats one thing. When you hear the voice, its much larger than the words on the page. Steph