Its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight clown hall and triumph holds a trump focus group. Plus, stephen welcomes Drew Barrymore and musical guest lang lang featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan Theater Office building in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen what . Welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Lets get straight to the Huge Campaign news, because yesterday, joe biden was endorsed by Scientific American. I assume because of all the horrible things trump has said about science and america. Now, this is unexpected because it is scientific Americans First president ial endorsement in its 175year history. Think of all the candidates that Scientific American did not feel compelled to throw their weight behind lincoln, f. D. R. , heck, they didnt even endorse hoover, and he invented the vacuum cleaner and this is not merely an endorsement of joe biden. The magazine warned that donald trump has badly damaged the u. S. And its people, because he rejects evidence and science not just rejecting it. He also defies science. I mean, its an affront to physics and gravity that someone remain upright with this posture. At the heart of Scientific Americans critique is trumps abysmal response to covid19. Hes denied the science. Hes lied about the science. Hes mocked the science. Come november 3, hes desperate that youll forget why youre standing six feet apart and why youre swaddled like the guys who came to take away e. T. Drew barrymore is on tonight. We should give her a trigger warning before she sees that. evie laughing who knows what that could bring back. I dont know why he thinks that all this will work. He wants you to ignore reality, and i guess hes making reality so bad that that becomes an appealing option. Of course, not everybodys buying it. Case in point, last night, trump attended a town hall in philadelphia. He was in full pander mode, even on the way down there. He tweeted out this picture of himself on air force one with a philly cheesesteak. Well, based on Michael Cohens book, im guessing its not the first time hes ordered something with extra whiz. Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner slam is made. Stephen but this town hall wasnt trumps usual rabid rally crowd, it was made up of undecided voters. Wow, undecided i assume the night started with each of them being roused from a coma. What year is it . Whos president . put me back put me back and these undecided voters decided not to go easy on trump it costs me with copays, im still paying almost 7,000 a year in addition to the copay. And should preexisting conditions, which obamacare brought into brought to fruition be removed . No. Please stop and let me finish my question, sir. Stephen oh, shes living out all of our fantasies shes telling donald trump to stop talking until shes finished her question. And he stopped talking. Quick followup maam, could you keep asking that question until november 3 . Now one voter, just one was angry about trumps downplaying of the pandemic, something we heard trump admit to doing in a taped conversation with bob woodward. If you believe its the president s responsibility to protect america, why would you downplay a pandemic that is known to disproportionately harm lowincome families and minority communities . Yeah. Well, i didnt downplay it. I actually, in many ways, i up played it in terms of action. Stephen as trump i didnt downplay. In fact, i upplayed, and theres one thing i can promise you no foreplay. I dont believe in it. Its the devils waiting room. And you know hes lying, because we have him on tape. In fact, i think we have a tape that i think we gave to one of my editors, who i think i asked to remix into i think a dance track, and i think it goes a little like this. I didnt downplay it. I actually in many ways i up played it in terms of action. I wanted to always play it down. I still like playing it down. I still like playing it down. In many ways, i upplayed it down. Down, down. Down. electronic dance music the great thing about the age in which we live, its all down on tape. Down on tape. Down on tape stephen after lying that he didnt downplay it, he lied about winston churchill. When churchill was on the top of a building and he said, everythings going to be good, everythings going to be be calm. And you have the nazis dropping bombs all over london, he was very brave, because he was at the top of a building. Stephen first of all, churchill was famously honest with the british people about how devastating the war could be. Second, he didnt go to the top of buildings. I think trump has him confused with another famous fat white guy. as trump every year, churchill went up on the roof with his eight tiny cabinet members, then slide down the chimney and gave all the good little boys and girls cigars, brandy and gout. Chimchimchurrey. Trump insisted that churchill was just as big a liar as he is. He says, everyones going to be safe, i dont think thats being necessarily honest. And yet, i think its being a great leader. But he said, youre going to be safe, be calm, dont panic. And you had bombers dropping bombs all over london. So i guess you could say thats not so honest. But its still great leadership. Stephen ah, yes, who can forget Winston Churchills famous radio address to the british people . We will fight on the beaches, we will fight on the landing grounds or not, the nazis will magically go away in april when the weather gets warmer. Stephen but churchill wasnt the only great leader trump compared himself to. I could be so pres i always used to sort of kid on the campaign trail that i could be trail that i could be more president ial be very easy more president ial than any other candidate, except for possibly Abraham Lincoln when hes wearing the hat. Stephen as trump very important that hes wearing the hat. Because dont kid yourself, lincoln was nothing without that hat, okay. Its like that song there must have been some magic in that silk hat on his head cause when finally took it off John Wilkes Booth shot him dead, oh Abraham Lincoln blah blah gettysburg address at one point, George Stephanopoulos asked the president to reflect on his pandemic response. Could you have done more to stop it . I dont think so. I think what i did, by closing up the country, i think i saved two, two and a half, maybe more than that, lives. Stephen two and a half lives. I saved jon cryer, charlie sheen, and that little half man. We miss you charlie. Then, we do miss charlie a little bit, dont we . Little bit. The one undecided voter faulted trump for opposing the wearing of masks, but trump knew who to blame. I will say this, they said at the Democrat Convention theyre going to do a National Mandate. They never did it, because theyve checked out, and they didnt do it. And a good question is, you ask, like joe biden, they said, were going to do a National Mandate on masks. He didnt do it. I mean, he never did it. Stephen that is a brutal takedown of President Biden you know what, now that i think about it, perhaps joe biden doesnt deserve another four years perhaps we should give this blondeheaded newcomer a chance perhaps he could sell us some trombones of course we got trouble of course, trump is not promask and hes not alone. Hes following the example of the real experts. By the way, a lot of people dont want to wear masks. There are a lot of people that think the masks are not good, and there are a lot of people, as an example who are those people . Well, ill tell you who those people are. Waiters. They come over and serve you, and they have a mask. And i saw it the other day, when they were serving me and theyre playing with a mask. Im not blaming them. Im just saying what happens. Theyre playing with the mask. So the mask is over, and theyre touching it, and then theyre touching the plate. That cant be good. Stephen okay. So hes asked who he thinks doesnt think masks are a good idea, and his answer was waiters. Because i dont like what theyre doing. Trump cant even muster empathy in a thought experiment. Sir, i can promise you, theres one waiter who will take his mask off, and its whoever spits in your next bowl of soup. Now, trump brags about trying to fasttrack vaccines, but also that he doesnt need to. It would go away without the vaccine, george, but its going to go away a lot faster. It would go away without the vaccine . Sure, over a period of time. Sure, with time. It goes away. And many deaths. And youll develop youll develop, like a herd mentality. Stephen okay, i think he meant herd immunity, which is a large group of people developing immunity by sharing the disease freely, resulting in massive loss of life. Herd mentality is a bunch of people in red caps at an indoor rally during a pandemic. Resulting in massive loss of life. Trump isnt the only one trying to reach out to voters. So is democratic nominee and dad who just heard there was curly fries on the menu, joe biden. Old joe was in florida yesterday for an event honoring hispanic heritage month, and he kicked things off in a surprising way i just have one thing to say. Hang on here. despacito playing all right. There you go, dance a little bit. Stephen he played despacito as biden que bueno, amigo i thought i liked the bieber remix, but this original slaps, jack. Still a belieber, though. You got that yummy yum, justin, come on evie laughing that was a bad biden impression even by my standards. Quick side note pretty daring of bidens team to start an event by having biden find and play something on his phone. That is some highstakes grandpa poker. as biden uhoh. Whats a face i. D. . Whose face . My face . Hello, mabel . Get me greenwood6289, turn on the victrola dialing it in. Of course, this move by biden may seem a little random, but he did actually have a reason for playing despacito. He was introduced to the stage by one of the artists behind the song, luis fonsi. Now, i know cbs sometimes has an older audience who might not know who luis fonsi is, so let me explain neither do i. laughter but ive been assured by younger members of my staff, that thats what happened. Last night, trumped retweeted a doctored version of that biden video. I just have one thing to say, hang on here. hip hop record scratch bleep the Police Coming straight from the underground stephen wow, that takes real balls. To manipulate a video of your opponent to make him way cooler. Whats trump going to say next . as trump i saw joe biden smoking a spliff behind the 7eleven. The store clerk came out and told him to stop, and he said, can it, daddyo, and then he jumped into the sidecar of the Steve Mcqueens motorcycle and they jumped a fence. Thats bad boy joe. Dont date him, girls now, the president ial election is only 48 days away. To put that in laymans terms, thats just four twelve days of christmases did that help you . Because it didnt help me. All i know is were going to be up to our assess in lords a leaping. Voting has never been more important, but donald trump has deliberately created confusion about how to vote. And it doesnt help that the rules are different from state to state. So, to help clarify things, last night i officially launched our new website www. Betterwnowaballot. Com that contains easytofollow voting information for every state. You just click on your state and you get the information you need about registering to vote, requesting an absentee ballot, or voting early in person. Were even making videos for every state to help explain how to vote easily, early, and safely wherever you live. There are 13 videos up right now for the states where you can start to receive ballots the soonest and well be rolling out the rest in the coming days as other states get ready to send out their absentee ballots. Now, the site went live last night, and guess what . Evidently, you are really interested in voting, because moments after i tweeted it, it got hit with so many visitors, it crashed. I dont understand. We hired the web designer who did obamacare. They were so cheap evie laughing but we got things back up running and robust, and we are ready for the tsunami this time, because a lot of people want this information. I mean, they say porn is the most popular thing on the internet, but ive never seen a porn site crash. Also, ive never seen a porn site. I hear good things. And very bad things. Point is, if you want to vote and of course you do go to www. Betterknowaballot. Com to get the info and the links you need to start voting in your state, right now. Then use the hashtag, betterknowaballot to tell your friends and family. And your mortal enemies. Because everybody should vote. And weve got a great show for you tonight. Drew barrymore is here. But when we come back, triumph the insult comic dog holds a trump focus group. Its worth sticking around for, i promise you. The sun is pretty incredible. It makes our lipton leaves better. Which makes this smooth tea taste better. And time spent together. Even better. And drinking lipton every day. Can help support a healthy heart. Will give you the power to track your sleep. Excuse me, maam . Yes . sleepily yeah, this already does that. Oh, i didnt know that. Well now you do. Okay, lets try this again. Imagine. One day. Youll be able to hold on. No, no, no let me finish one second. Youll be able to take an ecg it already does that. What . What about continuously track your elevation . Does it do that . Does that. Right, got it. Does that. Thank you. Does that. I heard it the first time. Encourages you to stay fit . Does that. Okay. I get it. Youre fit. Umm, i dont know. Will it automatically call 911 if a bear chases you off a cliff and you take a hard fall . Yeah. Already does that. Seriously . Yeah. Seriously. Youve got to be kidding me. Okay, i got it. Lets go from the top. Imagine a day. A future. Tiny device blah, blah, blah, blah. That measures your blood oxygen level. No, dont you dare say it. muffled it already does that. Well. That was fun. I feel good i knew that i would, now i feel good get a dozen double crunch shrimp for one dollar with any steak entree. Only at applebees. And geico loves helping riders get to where theyre going, so to help even more, geico is giving new and current customers a fifteen percent credit on their motorcycle policies with the geico giveback. And because were committed for the long haul, the credit lasts your full policy term. The geico giveback. Helping riders focus on the road ahead. Stephen welcome back, everybody. Drew barrymore is the guest tonight, right . Shes a national treasure. I love her. Shes got a talk show, its about damn time. About damn time, entertainment industry. Sorry, i was angry. The Trump Presidency has been four years of him making shocking and hatefilled remarks. Ive often wondered is there any message, anything he could, anything he could say, anything that he could put out that would cause him to lose his most loyal supporters . Well, to answer that question, i turned to someone else with a long history of making shocking remarks triumph, the insult comic dog. Over the last couple years, triumph has given the late show a series of hardhitting journalistic reports. Most recently, back in february, during simpler, happier times impeachment. And like me, triumph was curious about trumps supporters so he gathered some of them together. Jim . Despite the travesties of his coronavirus response, the failed economy, and californias exploding trees, President Trumps loyal followers have stuck with him through the good times and the end times. One wonders if anything the president says or does could cost him their herd mentality, so we brought these actual Trump Supporters to this actual focus Group Research center, where this actual moderator showed them a series of actual fake Trump Campaign ads. Thank you for coming in today. We appreciate you guys coming in. Just to sort of get, you know, grounded and for me to have some background, i would like you to tell me a little bit, like, you know, why is President Trump your guy . I like money. Money. And he knows how to make it. Uhhuh. And he is not a politician. And its good to have somebody that that speaks some of the things that i want to just scream sometimes. As you can probably imagine, you know, the president isnt too happy about the polls right now and isnt too happy about the way hes being perceived in the media. So, you know, he really wants to kin of take back the narrative. Hes trying to figure out what makes a difference in november. So im going to show you the ads, what you like about them, if theres anything you dislike, the message and then well have some other questions and things like that. Okay, here we go. dramatic music we all have seen how out of control the radical bidenharris liberals are getting. In portland, they now want do defund firefighters and ambulance corps. Its disgusting. Theyre passing legislation to rename every street black lives matter plaza. Its going to be incredibly confusing. Portland is already printing their own money but with no whites on it. The schools have gotten rid of the plus sign because it looks too much like the cross. And, of course, theyre tearing down our precious statues. We need to stop these people and ive got a plan. Lets electrify the statues. electricity crackling when the protests starts, we put 100,000 volts through them. The second they touch them boom, whoosh explosion and just let them try to pee on it. dog yelps we may lose some birds and dogs smaller explosion in the process but itll be worth it to save our history. uplifting music tell me your reaction about that one . So what do you think about that . I think he could have explained it a little bit better than that. Like he just said, you know, history is history. Thats in the past. We cant why are we going to go around and change all these name brand foods. Im all for putting electricity on the monuments. We dont teach history no more. We learn from history. Okay, disturbing, but not deplorable. Awesome feedback, so were going to look at another one now. Everybody knows were not equipped to have a Fair Election in november between the kung flu panda virus and the mail fraud. Bu