Hope that the creative path of those who will appear on this stage today will be long and bright. This is the second 1 8 of the major league of the 2024 season , we are starting kvn. Today. Five more teams that you see on this stage will compete for the right to advance to the 1 4 finals, but not everyone will succeed, only four teams will make it through, we will have to part with one based on the results of todays game, they will go home to work on their mistakes and prepare for the next season, lets start getting to know them, lets start with the newcomers a major league debutant from a university that has glorious kven traditions, the ruden, russian team. An attempt to conquer the major league by the kvn team kolosok, the city of mikhailovsk, stavropol territory, semifinalists of last season, winners of the moscow mayors cup 2023, kvn team yuri ken, north Ossetian State University vladikavkaz, and one more. A team with exactly the same regalia, semifinalists of last season, winners of the moscow mayors cup a year earlier, the kvn team blizki, the team of the Belgorod Region. Well, as they say, who are the judges . A judges, these are the people who have to evaluate such a subjective thing as humor. Lets start with them too. To introduce, i cant say that the most popular, but one of the most popular, famous and talented graduates of our club, mikhail golostyan. For the first time on the jury of the kvn major league, which the teams and i are immensely happy about a girl, because of whom the average age of our judicial colleagues has dropped by almost two. Last time i introduced him as the most experienced kvn player present in this room, today i want to introduce him as the most experienced presenter of the First Channel in this room, valdispelsh, the chief producer of the directorate of music and entertainment programs of the First Channel, Yuri Viktorovich aksyuta. Well . As in the first game, today we are expected to have three competitions, two of which the teams prepared, one improvisational, well, the rules are known to everyone, it seems that everything was said, the teams and the judge presented. Greetings in which the teams can be friends, the first competition is traditionally to show anything, the main thing is that it is funny and resourceful, we will start with representatives of the Belgorod Region, the kvn team, relatives, lets go in dancing, hello, so, well, moscow, close to the stage, we represent the russian province, well, not just the wilderness, you know, where the husband killed his wife, shovels, because the borscht was too salty, well, not moscow, of course, dogs in winter without jackets theyre walking around, holy one, why a fine . Lets tell everyone, oh, meet romka, the molecule man, what did you want to tell us . Well, actually, svetlana and i are now a couple, a couple, you look like one and a half, listen, you, i am for my woman, that you will stand up, and you wont be visible, so okay, this is too small, we need something global, international, there is such a thing, a russianpendos song, standing naked. Aiden in a field by a stream, a difficult task, remembering who i am, maybe i roe deer or kombucha, oops, wrong guy, got a chip implanted in his brain, beautiful dont relax, guys, this is the Second Season of the major league, no one should stop us this year, if you want to go, go, if you want to forget, forget, just know that at the end of the road, nothing can be returned, philip, you why did you come out . Friends, forgive me you do not look, he looks so bad, he s just having a hard year, theres 500 times less money, and 500 times more events, yes, last year he made a mess of himself, this year hes getting out of it, oh well, its up to you, he i just wanted to look beautiful, vitya, to look beautiful, you dont have to wear a suit , a seventeenyearold figure skater. Okay, philip, excuse me or sit at the wrong door, but, well, lets continue to get acquainted, this is tyoma, a vindictive person, well, just so you understand, he calls back with a telephone scammer. At night when they are in prison lights out, when they announce the coolest guy, gene, march 17, stand in place, that such a team has gathered, well, we wont survive in samarkand, of course, but we can also do something, come here, what . Maybe for a minute , when you tell a joke, you emphasize the key words, i understand, so that it is fast, bright, like a fight with a woman. Man, did you really follow us out of the train . Well, firstly, he didnt come out, he jumped out, and secondly, i have a complaint against russian railways, thats why there will be people on the shelves, there are no people in the toilets, man, what do you care . Necessary . I explained to you on the train, i want to help you win the major league, i am the most experienced quen player in belgorod, i have been playing quen since 1982, i still remember maslyakov with hair like that . Why are you lying, why am i lying, kven was closed, why should he get a haircut, yes, if it was closed, how did you play it then, secretly at night in a recreation center, by the way, we only had three circles in a recreation center, kvn, sex and tongue twisters , well, i first signed up for sex, but then i maneuvered and maneuvered something and didnt catch it, so it doesnt bother you that kvn this is a youth game, on the contrary, its getting weaker, so you understand, my mood is wrong, something wont work out here, i hear you, man, get out of here, oh, who is this doll with testicles, its gaslighting, its free from desire, i got it, i didnt get it, it was nearby, at least it was there, well, you see, i m telling you, youre old, im an experienced adult, you just need someone like that, i dont understand. No shit, im in the boys word, did i, aigul, step out of my window, who cares, who cares, why didnt you say that gutsman junior is for you, the younger one is speaking, thats it, a man. And secondly, i left because the rule says, if something doesnt work out once, rest, wash yourself, try again, what kind of rule is that, yes, there was a reminder in the mug , well, the kvn team is close, we washed ourselves and are ready to try again. Anatoly konstantinovich, give maria to me as a wife, you can give it to me, its a good idea to collect it as a dowry with your dad, we have embroidered shirts here, its so beautiful, in the vologda province an amazing ritual of dressing up has been preserved, the bride was placed on a table decorated with a rich tablecloth and her friend. Mancacher whiskey is a product of the Stellar Group. Gin cnop. Stellar group, monte shococa cognac, Stellar Group product, rum, castro, Stellar Group product, veda vodka, Stellar Group product, old barrel cognac, Stellar Group product, stirsman bourbon, Stellar Group product, graffiti in san paolo. Here, is it true that you can choose any place in the city and draw whatever you want . If you start drawing at some police station, then of course you will be punished, they wont put you in jail, but they will give you quite a fine. What kind of men are here in brazil, very attentive and caring, its clear that sometimes someones husband can go to the left, our blood is hot, but we have our own woman, shes always alone, i see that you mostly have women working here, we just want a womens coffee shop. The main thing is that they stole a taxi again, that means, where are you anyway, an undercover taxi, the premiere starts on monday on the first, well, a good start, ruddn team, moscow. Hello everyone, russian youth are on the stage, and we came here to remind you that kvn is a student game, otherwise the Previous Team somehow it doesnt work. Rudn and i, denis, actually correctly from rudn, rudn and i now better describe the friendship of peoples. Guys, today Kamilla Valieva is sitting on the jury, and she is only 17 years old. Lets give us a high five, and well buy you a beer after the game. Anton, let her not drink, but the funeral of the International Olympic committee. I would definitely drink it, guys, we represent the Peoples Friendship University of russia, where there are blacks, chinese, chuchmikas, after all. These belarusians, our leadership doesnt understand where to laugh, we only have russians on our team, while you russians are playing here in kvn, africans are studying Public Administration for you, one day we will wake up, and our president is wearing flipflops. Guys, she has such a voice, as if you need to get a full subscription, and you look like a woman who served time, and in general i thought we wanted to win, but ill guess, in your opinion, in order to win, the team from the rdn must sing, dance, talk in several languages, maintain a conversation about politics, yes, we should be. Not a team, but an elite prostitute. Dinar, what the stereotypes . Our main rival is ourselves, like kharitonov at the debate. Today we also have khrustalev alone behind the cabinet. Well, lets go its the twentyfourth century in the world. Kvn is coming. A married couple decided to diversify their relationship by trying roleplaying games, listen, damn, i wont lie under the garbage, wait, let me at least change clothes after work, at the nonferrous metals collection point. Or dont give up . We noticed that the girls who interview popma fighters consider themselves immortal. Mr. Monkey, you had your muzzles dragged across the floor for six rounds, what is it like to be a disgrace to your people . This interview is over, guys, you forgot that the teams from the rdn used to be cool, now they came out, tumbayumba, kulumbulum water you will be. And the audience is in ecstasy, and the adult spectator will definitely not be happy with such a team, and adults are always dissatisfied with the younger generation, people who say, internet, flash drive, sex, are dissatisfied with our education, yes, in their opinion we cannot be trusted with anything, and this we are told by people who ruined their country, twice in the last century, we want to be like that command from rudny, which the viewer will want to watch, but is not used to seeing. Eh, this is a thought, but how cool is it, the black man said. And for you the rudn team performed, and specifically danya, denis, umalats, sanya, dinara, katya, anton, and the sounds of aida sitting, shes cool. Friends, we continue further in the competition of greetings on this stage, my fellow countrymen, but this naturally does not mean anything, the kvn team negodin leti, st. Petersburg. Hey, dodiki, listen, who did you tell . This is him for us. Oh, okay, sorry. Negodin, hello. Stage males like at least according to biology, unfit for use in the theater of the russian army, in my opinion its already a waste of time, this is our first game, what are you, warcraft is our first game, and yes, what is this 375, higher . Was different from life, well, work turned a monkey into a man, lets see what. And there is nothing further from programming than russian tv series about programming, hack america, done, hack the european union, done, hack nat, already, and now hack the post office bank, it doesnt work that their website doesnt work on weekends. Damn geniuses the guy decided to propose to the girl, but the ring turned out to be not made of gold, sasha, weve been together for 5 years, darling, look, whats that where it is now, wow, fucking sunlight. Yes , where i dont see anything, well, take a closer look, there s something similar to a foam volcano, which is my, of course i expected the reaction to the ring to be strong, but not as strong, but i think i can guess what youre doing there, oh, you dont know what this is, what will happen to your stomach if you drink cola . We break up, popular books sooner or later are being filmed, it seems to us that the time has come to film the most popular book, a collection of problems in mathematics, a pedestrian went from point a to point b. Im moving at a speed of 5 km h, how slow i am, in half an hour he will go in pursuit of this poor fellow, he will definitely catch up with him, one question, when it was an ordinary sunday morning, petya woke up in a great mood. I have as many as five apples. Im so happy, but then misha came, im taking two apples from you, how many apples does petia have left and selfrespect, youre here because youre the best in their business, two earth. Cops i can dig one and a half holes in an hour, and i can do twice as much, how long will it take them to dig three holes, and most importantly, for whom . Commander, who are the pits for . Yes, some schoolchildren ordered mikhailov, semyonov and khelshtein. A collection of problems in mathematics, edited by mikhailov semenov and helshtein, soon on screens age limit 18 8 26. There are several theories of the origin of life on the planet kvn. Alexander vasilyevich moslyakov created everything classic. But we supporters of materialism believe that first bacteria played in kvn. Then fish joined, then invertebrates, all of this somehow crawled out, emerged into the scene, evolved, unreal. What am i talking about . We have been playing kvn for about 3 billion years, just for the sake of. Getting into 1 4 of the major league stage, the invertebrate team. The speech was translated and voiced by the team, thank you. We thank the moscow government for its assistance in organizing the kvn games. Next on this stage in the greeting competition will be the kvn team kolosok mikhailovsk, stavropol territory. There is a wheel above your head. Stage a spikelet or thats it, what did russia get from the grain deal, hello, we came from mikhailovsk, you probably think that this is some kind of province, that we have cows and geese walking along the streets, firstly, they dont walk, but walk, but in secondly, mikhailovsk is a progressive city, we even recently opened a sex shop, yes, everything of our own. Meet andrei, he is a selfnominated person, yes, i was born without the help of an obstetrician, andrei, its okay, today is an important day for us, arent you worried at all, the last time i was worried was during the operation, so what . They did it to you, they removed your nervous system, but are you kind now or . Romantic, well, while youre in the mood, lets show something. Andrey took off his coat, how did you even climb the tree . The taxi driver figured out how to take five people at once, when you drive, you will dial. Vladimir putin is receiving calls from scammers. Im listening, hello. Friends, we recently learned that the Russian NationalFootball Team will play as many as five friendly matches this year, but where can we find so many comrades . Guys, ive been wanting to ask for a long time, is there anyone among you . Who was born in march, well me in june, well, in the absence of fish, iraq fish, explain why we need a fishermans daughter on the team, but without me you dont even look like a team, who do we look like, well, like toes. No, its even worse. Joke. One day lenin and kolchak meet in the red and white store. And who won . Mendeleev. Guys, joke 2024, can you at least make a joke about tiktok . Yes, i saw your tiktok, there are only gays there, so a feed based on interests is being formed there, maybe stop joking about me like that, maybe stop acting like a woman, i mean, come to me, no, there you go with me. Great, oh, andrey, this is your stuttering father, he has absolutely nothing to do, in fact, i have a very hard and responsible job, im a pilot in an airline. Well, well, well, well, victory, and what is the most difficult thing in your work, dear passengers, we are glad to welcome you on board the plane. Airlines. Victoria, dad, your retort, your concession is ruining everything for us, if you say that again, youll get it in the neck, i wont repeat it twice, but you wont be able to do it once, thats it, get out of here. Friends, many, many years ago we we all met at the kolosok childrens camp, and they named their team after him, but in fact, this was not the only thing that united us all, it just seemed strange to us, performing on channel one in the main comedy show. Called whooping cough, spikelet, thank you, this program was seen in the video, my name is nikolai drozdov, it was the first time i saw such contact between a person and a whale, its scary with whales, not very good, he was blowing bubbles, he was blowing bubbles. I dont know about you, but i just love cleaning, we bought it for his birthday it took a long time to choose the ball and he destroyed it in 5 minutes, we didnt even have time to go outside, its always a new year, always a housewarming, if the owner is with him, you saw the video, watch with us, the premiere, tomorrow on the first, alena, lets do something we pay more attention to our work, thats all for today, right . As the chairman of the jury, i feel out of place, perhaps all the most famous actors and directors in the world were sitting at this table, i would like to have lunch, please, but this is pasadena, we dont have restaurants. How did you feel in a film where all the actors played themselves and only you had a role, but is golbert a policeman . How do the local public perceive our films . They are expecting some other turn of the russian. We are again together with those who love good music with all their souls, lilac fog, volodya, well, you hooked me so much that i swam, just dont give in, friend, singing swing in russian is still a task, you know, this is not always the gears match, you were still a boss, there is not a word, three chords, a new season from april 14 on the first. Well, now its final his performance in the first competition, in the greeting competition, will be shown to us by his kvn team, yuriken vladikavkaz. Who said and . Good evening, alone. Eighth, five teams, of which only four qualify, the stakes are higher than ever, today there will be a battle, cutting, battle, alabaster, there is one extra word here, like a team, therefore, in order to get into this magnificent, inimitable four, we have prepared something special, our usual performance. Its not enough, we need a conflict, no, we dont need a conflict, just like we dont need a conflict, we dont need it, oh, thats enough, guys, thats enough, wait, were not that kind of team, take your place, but what kind . Maybe we are a music team . Exactly, yes, we are musicians, yes, for this you need to sing well, but maybe dont rush it, do it all over again, you cant sing so well. Heavy note, i like ones that have something to take on, songs need to be remade, well, look, i remade the song into a coffee grinder, stop grinding nonsense, music is not only a song, finish it off, a ray of golden sun, how do you like it . The book is better than what, than you, are you kidding me, you ask, maybe we are a questioning team, and its like oh, in i