Session will take place through Oxford before the private service at Christ Church Cathedral an 18 year old man and 217 year old boys are charged with murder and conspiracy to steal a quad bike and of the man's been charged with conspiracy to murder him a duke and duchess of Cambridge will arrive in Pakistan later for the 1st visit by the royal family for 13 years security has been improved in the country but a big military and police presence is expected as get this most headlines now here's James Gregg Gareth Bale Axel an equaliser helped Wales to hold 2018 World Cup finalists Croatia and a bad tempered euro 2020 qualifier in Cardiff it finish one old men in Wales can still qualify earlier on a soggy Hamden park Scotland and in a run of 4 straight defeats with a 6 nil demolition of San Marino England take on bull Gary in Saffir on Monday night Don Evans will replace Kyle Edmund as Britain's number one male tennis player when the rankings are released later Evans is currently 43rd in the world 2 places below his career best ranking but he told the b.b.c. That he thinks he can get a lot higher form a world record holder Steve Cram say that he would not be surprised if Birgitte calls gays new women's marathon world record isn't broken for a long time the Kenyan took more than a minutes off Polaroid clips all 2003 Mark in Chicago and Scotland rugby head coach Gregg its hands and insists that his team can recover from that group stage exit at the World Cup They have Ms They must learn from the mistakes that saw them lose that ball matches against Ireland and Japan and failed to reach the knockout stages this is b.b.c. Radio 5 Live on digital b.b.c. Sound smart speaker the weather southern and western past the u.k. Look to become cloudy with outbreaks of rain pushing in through the day today Northern England to add East and Scotland of the driver with some sunshine possible here temperatures later reaching 12 in Belfast 15 degrees is the high for London in the southeast. To jump at least 3. Trying to. Get reaction and analysis from which these. Extended flag down loaded subscribe to. The 1st Chinese list in the past like this is b.b.c. 5. It doesn't add up by I have just been Charlie Vertigo 18 minutes after this phone and you know I say Go hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry on of 808-590-9693 you'd like to join in on Monday morning parenting funnies are we talking about how whether children should be able to speech adults as they'd like whether adults should sit back and allow them to go and protest whether on climate change or otherwise as they wish oh whether we need to you know down in so I know you know you know you're not getting a criminal record over my dead body sometimes you know something like 85909693. In loud to speak to your parents as you like we've allowed to call them by their 1st names and that kind of I'd like to hear from somebody who was actually and if that made any difference to the relationship and so you call your parents by the 1st name in the studio we've got Jen Edmonson with us Mum of 3 we've got track closely with us as well Mum of an 8 year old and we heard from a caller Brian a moment or 2 ago Jen and you were desperate to say something that point and you see how I cut him off from the news here I didn't want to do that to you because I'm such a gentleman that you have a crazy you're welcome will come and they are. I broadly agreed with Brian but I think that there is a. Blaring of the lines between consequences and responsibility and I think that when you're a child there are consequences to your actions and when you're an adult you take responsibility whether it's for paying bills or paying taxes or bringing up children or being a helpful member of society or you know volunteering for something that's a different type of responsibility to the kind of responsibility that children have and again they sed you start them small Have you got is just the school have you done your homework but they that you're asking them to take responsibility but with far more immediate consequences than you usually get as an adult. And mind more minor consequences than you usually get for not doing it right as an adult. And I think there is a bit of a in there between consequence and responsibility see I was thinking to myself you know when I was a child and I used to go and cash you know the child benefit full full children and bring it from the Post Office to you know to my mom. That was just something that I done I knew it was the child benefit but I you know I had no association all full of that but I owned any of that where was I think if my daughter you know at the same Asia you know I was meant maybe 10 when in cash the child benefit she would have a level of entitle meant and I say that because I think of the way I may be. Maybe I would call it over Sharon I'd just say in that sense there's a level of transparency and I think children generally speaking are encouraged to Oscar more questions do you not think that the immediate response as an adult and her parent would be yes of course you're entitle to it but it's for me to put food on your plate and place on your back and make sure your house is warm it's not for you to go to whatever stationery shop and spend it or buying pens and. Whatever yeah yeah you know right and I would I would say that I think I think she would be right actually to say to you in that situation may this child benefit or whatever surety that should be for me and she should be right to say that because in a way it is about her. However she is not the one no matter how passionately she might feel she has the right to spend that money on what she wants it to be she isn't the $1.00 responsible enough to make those decisions you know as a parent it's to help put food on her plate and clothes on her back yes. And that's the difference she's absolutely entitled to say isn't this got some things it hasn't got something to do with me but absolutely as the adult as the woman with the experience and the responsibility and say you are the one that should then say to her yes you're right in a way it is but it's not for the purpose that you think it is and this is what and it's far more serious a purpose than whatever book you want to buy or you know. Yeah you know and I think that's the difference between dealing with children dealing with adults because they don't have that foresight and they don't have that experience yet does and you said something earlier on there I need to go back to and you said something about class now I think the reason why I you know that you know it's still in my head is I think that there's an assumption girl it does yeah it does I think there's an assumption right that. Children's behavior is the term and by class and I think that is. A very incorrect assumption and I think so yeah I do I definitely do because I was raised very very working class I'm probably considered middle class now and I. You know everyone that I was around you know the majority of people I was around will raise middle class and we I think when I came to experience those in our upper middle class we were. Better behaved better mannered. Better understand in we did not pick up things in the aisle because we knew we weren't going to get them because we knew that we didn't have the money for the down Polish whereas I feel that you know those of an upper class felt that they could do that whether and their parents didn't challenge or I don't know that that pass that was my gut that was my 2nd point and I wanted her back there with a new chair not just what you know before the job would you think is this is close determinant in the way children behave. Gosh that's a tough one I think not per se but really fire immensely I think it does make a difference I have to disagree with Clare I think entitlement is not the same as bad behavior. And I think. Boundaries are pushed I dunno I think everybody's probably going to take it on me now and some big way but I think I do think there is a difference but I'm struggling to put that into woods as to why I think that I'm trying to think back on my experience of the people that I have known and the parents I have known and the schools that I've been involved with which go right across the board and all those hundreds of children and I think they're not. Middle class children I think have a tendency to expect mole but be less aggressive when they don't get what they think they should have. And I'm fast the thing and that's why I wanted to go back to this point because I think that it's an unspoken assumption that the child's that needs to be told how day you is as Dawson said the Street Child did you want to use case there I think I think most people would say I'm probably middle class and I was the one that spoke to my children and said how day. And you know. So I don't think it's that I don't think I don't think that they are more or less well behaved than any other I think that children of all classes misbehave right but I think it's the manner of it that's different we could expand this conversation but I know that this would take us into another show and I want to say have thinking this is it we're going to do this in the next program in the phone in the next parenting phone let's do this if there was you know 16 year old man from Sat. Deliverin nobody speaks like that yet a days are getting well known or maybe passed out on the Sat and now you've sat London what I'm saying is if there was a road you know it's an icon of us a right if there was a different type of young person delivering that same message the back would have been a poorly and I think it has been but I think it's her different reason I don't think it's because that messages come from a middle class child I think it's because it's come from a female child right interesting. Because I wish to read so it's about clothes and I'm going to hold my 5 you like so the next time that one lots of questions I would just say this one thing as you asked me the question. Members quality coaches got me translation Yes remember that 111-987-6543 extension 21 because yes yes you know I gave them a hand they covered c.g. Right and not their own you know I'm a commie translation. Company is not a language it is only a slang and was originated in a ng learned you know where Yeah well there's a line in it where he says say before my son we just say gone. That is a cultural thing being 1st my eyes and remember Jane said a moment ago was middle class before upper class people feel entitled is nobody Lisa say to them the 1st they are 1st and you're telling me that cross doesn't affect the way children behave no no I didn't say I don't think the Ok what I'm saying is I think that there is an assumption that we've working class. Children they are they all the children that need to be told how day you most in middle and upper class and I think that is a wrong assumption Ok Ok we'll come back to a couple questions here through several This. Year Oh gosh. Not not not number 3 with just trying to throw a lot more position their dad in Singapore says his father to teenage daughters then when they tell me about record setting rainfall in Japan over the weekend a record high winds in the Bahamas last month then they should be passing this information on so that we can form the obvious opinion the world is changing the need for them to speak up is more likely to have a knock on effect that they and their own children adapt to change practices food. All those in favor of say I I Ok I mean. Are you allowed to stay on doesn't amaze our staff. This is when he Wargrave he says what I think is missing from this discussion is the word Jew know what the word is now well go do an Retha Franklin aria he says See I think it's the way a child speaks to an adult that's the main point if a child puts a point over in a polite respectful manner then that's one thing but if a child is rude and disrespectful in the way they may therefore that's not right children should always show respect to their elders and parents I think the lack of respect is also what's causing trouble in the schools as teachers have their hands tied Ok enjoy the program by the way says when you will grow thank you Ok I would also. Leave a saw I had the platform let's leave aside the message let's leave aside you know the opportunity to speak truth to power and all of that when a child's turns to adults and says How did you is that disrespectful or not Jen Yes Claire Yes. You do need to. Say anything if you had to say yes or gritted see I did. It. Because you know why it pains me to say that because I haven't said how day you to my tools but I have said Don't you dare write and I It pains me to say that because I am I Now I'm not questioning was I being respectful to my child and I definitely think that respect is a. But respect should be 2 way but isn't it like Jane said about responsibility it's a different kind of respect from an adult to a child then the respect from a child to an adult is a different kind of respect. Yet to be determined I'm still exploring I do want to tell you a complete in a cultural way so many coaches respect their elders because they have wisdom an experience of seeing wisdom assumed twist him an experience they have lived experience that younger people don't have and from that they draw their conclusions in their wisdoms whether you agree with them or not but a lot of cultures Valley that wisdom and experience and give respect the older you get and there's a reason for that and the reason is that when you are very young you don't have that experience you haven't lived those experiences and you cannot possibly. Grasp in the same way the wisdom and consequence and responsibility is some somebody old to has and actually if you are young and you are wise you draw on those experiences and also crucially you don't pay rent. You don't pay rent as discussing. That's why where pay rent yes it is. Newcastle says in the sixty's when I was younger children used to have to give any adult they see on a bus if it was full this never happens now days to me this little change of behavior shows the shift in attitude of parents towards their kids he blames on the parents I've seen some adults and you know I every time I get essential I make sure I don't sit on the m c I have seen some adults put their head down when an elderly person disabled person a pregnant woman comes on and pretend like they can't see them and I'm always the one to get up so. I think that adults should be getting up in that sense as well. Yes I would you know I would encourage my daughter who is able bodied to get up but if she has been carrying heavy books in have back and she's just exhausted because she's had a long week I won't force her to stand up now and Jen very quietly Ok. I think it depends on the age of the child it's a little let them sit no at the expense of an elderly or disabled person but perhaps at the expense of an able bodied stronger adult. But no disability of physical and that you know and that's the thing that yes that's true however I think that if you have a hidden disability you could perhaps say excuse me would you mind if I sat. You can jump up for everybody all the time you can. Predict what's going to happen all the time and in general I think with the little can I see little kids who have stood up and they are thrown around like nobody's business they're more likely to get her standing on a bus or a Chihuahua or tram then and maced adults I think teenagers however are Lauren to themselves when it comes to public transport so yogas again a law unto themselves again I was actually Laurence was. Oh I'm so glad those days are not oh oh don't give the number. Number a go go read this out because those it was because of got wrapped up a little bit early Listen guys next hour we may swear we convene verb parents phone and we're talking about Claus and the impact of Claus on the upbringing of children yes I don't know what a journey yet I'm ready already faced remote gentlemen Symon Clegg Lotty Many thanks has got the latest 5 I've had loads is to cancel on digital b.b.c. Sounds must be got some of this is b.b.c. Radio 5 Live like you done Boris Johnson says they're still significant work to do on the breaks it deal with the talks in Brussels could now go on to Wednesday to try to reach an agreement to put 2 European leaders at their summit at the end of the week ministers will set out their plans for the new session of parliament in the Queen's speech later 22 bills will be put forward including measures to extend devolution scrap rail franchises and set binding targets on air pollution and cutting plastic East the Kurds in Syria say the Syrian government's agreed to send its army to the northern border to try to halt Turkey's offensive against them it follows the u.s. Decision to pull all remaining troops from the area and Harry Dunn's family spokesman says if their says that they're only prepared to meet the American woman involved in a crash that killed him if she gives an assurance chill return to the u.k. And circuitous went back to the u.s. After the death of the 19 year old enough temperature in. Oldest will the sport this morning his chance crack Wales will need to win the last 2 games in the Euro qualifying group as well as rely on Slovakia dropping points to get into next summer's tournament Wales Drew wall home with a group leaders Croatia which when did Daniel James say does not suit us appointing a result no one has said please be honest with me so well today we went Monckton 10 down but we did try mean showed because playing was patient and let go but what shows Cardoza Gareth Bale scoring for Wales in Cardiff it's an extremely well I'm done Paul meanwhile Aston Villa's John McGinnis a hat trick to help Scotland on a summary No 6 nil his Miggins national team boss Steve clock there is a ghost go to show in the English Premier League if you can score goals we can school goals and all the really good we have playing join us in full of what he's always up to 14 straight couldn't get on the edge of getting on the end of 2nd balls and rode into the box and you see tonight he's the goal delayed for the former world record holder of the mile Steve Cram says it's not a huge surprise that Bridget calls gay bro Polaroid eclipse world record for the women's marathon because the Kenya has been in such excellent form this year will cause a win in Chicago in that summer of 2 I was 14 minutes and full seconds and feeling good and I was happy because I wasn't I was not expecting to what I'm like these but that the day I want us to run my business which I could not. And I was up again Joe Fraser wouldn't golden The parallel balls of the world gymnastics championships and still go it's the 1st ever gold medal on the parallel balls for Britain I had hoped I could be a medal you know quite a fight so the bus is such a close by you know I can really go anyway so I just wanted to go out there and do the pressure to you know put then I've just got wiped all the people to do that because yeah I did my job and I made out why did Meanwhile Simone by old has officially become the most successful gymnasts and will. Championship history she took the balance beam and floor routine cycles to bring the total medal count to $25.00 and a moment was present in the arena. I feel like based on sitting there starting the shots out you know she knows how hard I work and the chance to see that sport and everything payoff I know. Dan Evans will replace Kyle Edmund as Britain's number one male tennis player when the rankings are released later Evans is currently 43rd in the world so you places below his career best ranking but he's told b.b.c. Spall that he thinks he can get a lot higher Meanwhile on the Murray is in action again this week he's at the European Open in Antwerp and the for